issue207

ken0405UID: 124994

207"Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

Nowadays, there increasingly arise much concern about the issue what role rituals and ceremonies play in the culture. As the assertion presented by speaker, some people claim that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture, without which will result a diminished sense of self-definition. As far as I am concerned, rituals and ceremonies have the function of defining a culture, which act as an important element in the development culture. Simultaneously, there exist many other things besides rituals and ceremonies, which can be employed to define a culture.（第一段不要看了，呵呵，我决定以后全改造成问句开头，正在酝酿中，呵呵）

To begin with, it is undeniable that rituals and ceremonies, which handled down through generations, always reflect people’s belief.（主题句） And individual can readily get an understanding about a nation's culture through observing the rituals and ceremonies in the nation. 下面举例子：For example, in England, vast majority of people regularly go to churches to join the religious ritual. In such ritual, people sing song and pray, which represents theirs appreciating to God. Moreover, in every year, each family in England will prepare a grand ceremony for celebrating Christmas day. From the ritual and the ceremony, we can readily draw the large picture of English culture that Christianism exerts great influence in the establishing of English culture and people usually believe in God.再举例子： In addition, there exist many other examples illustrating this opinion. We can know things about the social attitude towards family through the wedding ceremonies in England. And especially we can know the democratic atmosphere in America through the inauguration of president. Consequently, it is through taking part in the ritual and ceremony that helps individual to understand and define the culture, which he or she is within.

One the second place, （说没有他们会怎样）without rituals and ceremonies, the situation will turn to be unfavorable. Because some special concepts and ideas can only be conveyed by rituals and ceremonies, lacking of ritual and ceremonies will certainly result the disappearance of these special concepts and ideas. （举例子：）For instance, in Latin America, rituals involving passionate singing and dancing indicate the greatness of nature, the abstract idea that human define themselves as one part of nature, and the important concept that human should learn how to get the harmony with nature. In this sense, the absence of these rituals will have a consequence that these ideas will disappear.

In the third analysis, （补充一下其他观点，我觉得这有些多余，是吗？？）however, there are quite many other ways for us to transfer and continue a certain culture. These ways include architectural style, folklores, legend, art, literature, value, and moral. For instance, in china, some buildings, such as the Great Wall and the Summer Palace, are regarded as the soul of Chinese nation, which defines Chinese as the nation with long and brilliant history. Accordingly, it is unwise to erase, ignore, and play down other things on defining a culture.

In sum, the rituals and ceremonies can represent the content of culture and help people realize who they are. Furthermore, without rituals and ceremonies, we will suffer from the loss of some abstract rituals and ceremonies, which only these rituals and ceremonies embrace. Simultaneously, we should not neglect the effects of other methods mentioned above.（最后说的很乱，都说要每个提一提的，于是我就这样了）

gteryyUID: 114434

第一段不管你用问句不用，有几个错误要注意：①最好不要用as far as I am

concerned，显得比较无力，不要说什么“我的观点是”，只要说的在理，就强加

给ETS好了②there exist我也用过，不对。
你的思路很清晰，可是论述的好象和总观点不符。看到后来我有点晕了，不知道你

到底是同意提干还是不同意。第三段其实拓展一下倒是很好的观点，可惜你一笔带

过了。。。

总的来说，你驾御语言的能力还是相当不错的。就是想办法让自己的思维更敏锐更

独到一些吧。

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

207"Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

Nowadays, there increasingly arise much concern about the issue what role rituals and ceremonies play in the culture. As the assertion presented by speaker, some people claim that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture, without which will result a diminished sense of self-definition. As far as I am concerned, rituals and ceremonies have the function of defining a culture, which act as an important element in the development culture. Simultaneously, there exist many other things besides rituals and ceremonies, which can be employed to define a culture.（第一段不要看了，呵呵，我决定以后全改造成问句开头，正在酝酿中，呵呵）
我不得不指出的是，虽然以问句开头会是最省事的，但是有没有想过当ets改了n篇都是这样的，感觉会怎样呢？所以，最好还是准备多些花样，这样不至于流于千篇一律。




To begin with, it is undeniable that rituals and ceremonies, which handled down through generations, always reflect people’s belief.（主题句） And individual can readily get an understanding about a nation's culture through observing the rituals and ceremonies in the nation. 下面举例子：For example, in England, vast majority of people regularly go to churches to join the religious ritual. In such ritual, people sing song and pray, which represents theirs appreciating to God. Moreover, in every year, each family in England will prepare a grand ceremony for celebrating Christmas day. From the ritual and the ceremony, we can readily draw the large picture of English culture that Christianism exerts great influence in the establishing of English culture and people usually believe in God.再举例子： In addition, there exist many other examples illustrating this opinion. We can know things about the social attitude towards family through the wedding ceremonies in England. And especially we can know the democratic atmosphere in America through the inauguration of president. Consequently, it is through taking part in the ritual and ceremony that helps individual to understand and define the culture, which he or she is within.
这例子举的不错的。问题是你没有很好的阐明Christianity ceremonies 究竟是怎样shape their culture， 而这个culture 又是怎样reflect 这样的cult. 正如第二个例子一样，也是举的比较模糊。你需要再多的解释，比如民主是怎样体现在inauguration 里的。


One the second place, （说没有他们会怎样）without rituals and ceremonies, the situation will turn to be unfavorable. Because some special concepts and ideas can only be conveyed by rituals and ceremonies, lacking of(去of) ritual and ceremonies will certainly result(加in) the disappearance of these special concepts and ideas. （举例子：）For instance, in Latin America, rituals involving passionate singing and dancing indicate the greatness of nature, the abstract idea that human define themselves as one part of nature, and the important concept that human should learn how to get the harmony with nature. In this sense, the absence of these rituals will have a consequence that these ideas will disappear.
对了，就是这样阐述 文化和礼仪的关系。


In the third analysis, （补充一下其他观点，我觉得这有些多余，是吗？？）however, there are quite many other ways for us to transfer and continue a certain culture. These ways include architectural style, folklores, legend, art, literature, value, and moral. For instance, in china, some buildings, such as the Great Wall and the Summer Palace, are regarded as the soul of Chinese nation, which defines Chinese as the nation with long and brilliant history. Accordingly, it is unwise to erase, ignore, and play down other things on defining a culture.
继续增加在现代我们如何延续这个文化。你没有进一步说明。

In sum, the rituals and ceremonies can represent the content of culture and help people realize who they are. Furthermore, without rituals and ceremonies, we will suffer from the loss of some abstract rituals and ceremonies, which only these rituals and ceremonies embrace. Simultaneously, we should not neglect the effects of other methods mentioned above.

总得来说，很不错的。继续努力，特别是在内容的深化方面。

ken0405UID: 124994

感激之清有如江水滔滔啊
呵呵
太感谢前辈咯
太感谢了。
现在我还没有掐时间写，每片都要写上近2小时，现在基本会写到600多字，还感觉没写清楚
我总想写全面一点，这也许就是问题的关键，所以东一点西一点。
我现在正在找例子，我想我逻辑说理肯定不行，那我就来狂多例子咯，呵呵。
现在基本上每天看5个小时的作文加写一偏作文，现在可还没压力一天看11小时咯
想想kaoyan，呵呵，真的很狂啊。
sars下还可以天天打球，开心啊，呵呵。
向斑竹们学习
谢谢gteryy，tommatoeggs，and smm。
真的多谢了。
多谢
多谢
多谢
深刻一点，集中一点，
继续