ISSUE 38 电视和书 请求的大家的帮助(其实我觉得电视挺好的)

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

ISSUE38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

提纲: 1 读书对于人们的重要意义
           2 电视作为一种传播的局限性
     3 承认电视在某些方面的优势(即为书的局限性) 提出应该充分利用的电视的优点 以书本为主导学习知识.

Television, one of the most representative products of technology, has come to pervade every part of the world. After gaining some benefits from it, some claim that one can learn as much by watching television as reading books. In my opinion, reading books as the dominant access to knowledge in past centuries couldn't and shouldn't be replaced by any other kind of learning not mention to watching television.

Since papers have been invented, books become an integrate part of people's life. In books people experience mental conversations with forerunners in every aspect of human knowledge in the inclusion of science and art. Also, through history presented in books mankind become aware of that who they are and where they are in the ocean of human history. Beside the role as the origin of knowledge and wisdom, one thing of the most significance of books is that people learn to think and gradually become logical and reasonable. Simultaneously, for the first time mankind experience a great extension of imagination. In love stories man witness human joys and sorrows while in fiction novels people travel to other planets of universe. Books awaken human's joy in creative expression and knowledge.

With the advent of television, attentions have been abstracted from books to various TV programs. Images and sound make people get interested in the colorful outside and received a lot of information. However programs accompanying radical even wrong information always mislead people who are lack of self-judgment. Especially children, for instance, if one sees violence on television and without any explanation, then he or she will most likely behave in the same way.  From this point, television does not bring people knowledge but information without being purified. Admittedly, there are some well-designed programs; too often that audience are abstracted from an instructive program to a weary talk show with the attendance of a pop star. Also, before direct recording and analysis man will gradually lose the ability and will to think and imagine and that would be a tragedy for mankind.

Notwithstanding the foregoing reasons, we should not neglect some advantages in learning that television brings us. First, vivid image recording and description in voice make observation more available to people. Second, wide spread of television can help people get to know what the other end of the world is happening thus to bridge the gap between different cultures, While it may takes more time by reading books. It will be efficiency and beneficial to learn knowledge from books and use selective information that television provides us.  

In conclusion, learning from books will always be the foremost choice for people during their study. While employing television and other technological instruments, books will continue to have great or even greater influence on people's life of learning.

dezhiUID: 156141

ISSUE38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

提纲: 1 读书对于人们的重要意义(不可替代)
2 电视作为一种传播的局限性
3 承认电视在某些方面的优势(即为书的局限性) 提出应该充分利用的电视的优点 以书本为主导学习知识.
提纲比我的要简洁,学习之,hoho~~~

Television, one of the most representative products of technology当代技术的典型代表,加个”当代”或者”如今”如何?, has come to pervade every part of the world. After gaining some benefits from it, some claim that one can learn as much by watching television as reading books别扭,这么说如何:learn by watching TV as much as by reading books(相当于省略第二个learning). In my opinion, reading books as the dominant access to knowledge in past centuries couldn't and shouldn't be replaced by any other kind of learning not mention to watching television我没见过这种说法,这么说如何:any other kind of learning, not to mention watching television.
开篇不错

Since papers have been invented, books become an integrate part of people's life这句话这么说如何:Since the invention of paper, books have become an integrate part of human lives.. In books people experience mental conversations with forerunners in every aspect of human knowledge in the inclusion of science and art. Also, through history presented in books mankind has become aware of that多余 who they are and where they are in the ocean of human history. Beside the role as the origin of knowledge and wisdom, one thing of the most significance of books这句话不太好,这么说如何:one of the most significant influences of books is that people learn to think and gradually become logical and reasonable. Simultaneously, for the first time mankind experience a great extension of imagination.后面的例子是为了前面这句论证的吗?我觉得论证得不到位,extension of imagination体现的不是很充分 In love stories man witness human joys and sorrows while in fiction novels这两个词是不是同义?这里是不是想说科幻小说? people travel to other planets of the universe. Books awaken human's joy in creative 这一段好像并没有提到这个creative expression and knowledge.

With the advent of television, attentions have been abstracted from books to various TV programs. Images and sound make people get interested in the colorful outside 加个through television更明确吧 and received为何用过去时? a lot of information. However是否应该加个逗号 programs accompanying radical even放这里合适吗? wrong information always mislead people who are lack of 也可以说people who lack,或者people in lack of,当然这么说也对:) self-judgment. Especially children我在后面没有找到children的谓语呀,用for children如何, for instance, if one sees violence on television and去掉 without any explanationwithout being given any explanation from adults如何?, then he or she will most likely be likely to do behave in the same way. From this point, television does not bring people knowledge but information without being purified太绝对了. Admittedly, there are some well-designed programs; too often that the加上这个词吧,表集合名词 audience are abstracted from an instructive program to a weary talk show with the attendance of a pop star. Also, before direct recording and analysis记录和分析?不太明白 man will gradually lose the ability and will to think and imagine and 看看这句用了几个and,不舒服that would be a tragedy for mankind.

Notwithstanding the foregoing reasons好,学习之:), we should not neglect some advantages in learning that television brings us别扭,这么说如何:we should not neglect some advantages television brings to us. First, vivid image recording and description in voice make observation more available 说的有些含糊 to people. Second, a/the?不确定 wide spread of television can help people get to know what the other end of the world is happening 这么说如何:what has just happened in the other end of the world thus to bridge the gap between different cultures, While为何首字母大写? it may takes more time by reading take time to do/spend time in doing books. It will be efficiency这个好像是名词吧?? and beneficial to learn knowledge from books and use selective information that television provides to us. 最后这句有些偏离主题,不过还行,我觉得,如果能在TS里面把这种联系(要A也要B)也揭示出来,那就更好了

In conclusion, learning from books will always be the foremost choice for people during their study. While employing雇用?能解释一下具体含义吗? television and other technological instruments, books will continue to have great or even greater influence on people's life of learning这么表达感觉不太好.

aerozxyUID: 142241

Television, one of the most representative products of technology, has come to pervade every part of the world. After gaining some benefits from it, some claim that one can learn as much by watching television as reading books. In my opinion, reading books as the dominant access to knowledge in past centuries couldn't and shouldn't be replaced by any other kind of learning not mention to watching television.（语法有点问题吧，要么加个连词，要么可以用let alone watching television）

Since papers have been invented, （指一样东西被发明是不是用单数要好一点）books become an integrate part of people's life. In books people experience mental conversations with forerunners in every aspect of human knowledge in the inclusion of science and art. Also, through history presented in books mankind become aware of that who they are and where they are in the ocean of human history. Beside the role as the origin of knowledge and wisdom, （书应该是知识的传播者吧）one thing of the most significance of books is that people learn to think and gradually become logical and reasonable. Simultaneously, for the first time mankind experience a great extension of imagination. In love stories man witness human joys and sorrows while in fiction novels people travel to other planets of universe. Books awaken human's joy in creative expression and knowledge.

With the advent of television, attentions have been abstracted from books to various TV programs. Images and sound make people get interested in the colorful outside and received a lot of information. However programs accompanying radical （or）even wrong information always mislead people who are lack（直接用lack，它不能做adj.） of self-judgment. Especially children, for instance, if one sees （用he 好一点吧，指代前面的children）violence on television and without any explanation, then he or she will most likely behave in the same way. From this point, television does not bring people knowledge but information without being purified. Admittedly, there are some well-designed programs; too often that audience are abstracted from an instructive program to a weary talk show with the attendance of a pop star. Also, before direct recording and analysis man will gradually lose the ability and will to think and imagine and that would be a tragedy for mankind.（但是书也有不好的东西啊，比如色情文学，暴力文学等！ 觉得是不是从电视主要是娱乐手段而不是教育工具来论述好一点）

Notwithstanding the foregoing reasons, we should not neglect some advantages in learning that television brings us. First, vivid image recording and description in voice make observation more available to people. Second, wide spread of television can help people get to know what the other end of the world is happening thus to bridge the gap between different cultures, While it may takes more time by reading books. It will be efficiency and beneficial to learn knowledge from books and use selective information that television provides us.

In conclusion, learning from books will always be the foremost choice for people during their study. While employing television and other technological instruments, books will continue to have great or even greater influence on people's life of learning.


总体论述不错，观点比较清晰。
欢迎批我的文章

dezhiUID: 156141

文章整体结构很好,各个段落之间的展开很有逻辑性

不过,我觉得楼主显然是赞成图书的优越性,而且在开头和结尾中对电视都不置可否,这样的话,body3是否让步有些大了呢?或者在开头和结尾也稍稍提一下电视?---个人观点

我的其他意见都写在上面了

我们是同一天考试的兄弟,加油啊!
共同努力:)

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

谢谢dezhi  刚才去吃饭了
表达上的确存在问题
not to mention watching tv 是应该这样表达
首段第一句 我觉得两种都可以 我知道你是指被动时态的问题 但在这里的更改我觉得没有什么实质意义 从表达上用动词更顺畅一点 我的看法

中间部分 我想表达的就是the most 还是不要one of 吧
论证不到位 是我的通病 不知这个地方的论证有什么具体的意见?

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

谢谢aerozxy
我也想过电视主要是娱乐手段而不是教育工具来论述 可是题目中是一个can的问题 是指人们可以而不是一定能够从电视中获得知识

这次表达问题好大 主要是限时写的  郁闷啊~~
你的文章一会去拜读

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

Television, one of the most representative products of contemporary technology, has come to pervade every part of the world. After gaining some benefits from it, some claim that one can learn as much by watching television as reading books. In my opinion, reading books as the dominant access to knowledge in past centuries couldn't and shouldn't be replaced by any other kind of learning not mention to watching television and in the meantime people will benefit more from books with proper use of television.

Since papers have been invented, books become an integrate part of people's life. In books people experience mental conversations with forerunners in every aspect of human knowledge in the inclusion of science and art. Also, through history presented in books mankind become aware of that who they are and where they are in the ocean of human history. Beside the role as the origin of knowledge and wisdom, the most significant influence of books is that people learn to think and gradually become logical and reasonable. Simultaneously, for the first time mankind experience a great extension of imagination. In love stories man witness human joys and sorrows while in fiction novels people travel to other planets of universe. Books awaken human's joy in imaginary expression and knowledge.

With the advent of television, attentions have been abstracted from books to various TV programs. Images and sound make people get interested in the colorful outside and received a lot of information. However, programs accompanying radical or even wrong information always mislead people who lack of self-judgment. Especially for children, for instance, if one sees violence on television and without any explanation from adult, then he or she will be most likely behave in the same way.  From this point, television does not bring people knowledge but information without being purified. Admittedly, there are some well-designed programs; too often that audience are abstracted from an instructive program to a weary talk show with the attendance of a pop star. Most time people treat television as entertainment not origin of knowledge. Also, before direct recording and analysis on television man will gradually lose the ability and will to think and imagine and that would be a tragedy for mankind.

Notwithstanding the foregoing reasons, we should not neglect some advantages that television brings to us. First, vivid image recording and description in voice make observation more comprehensible to people. Second, the wide spread of television can help people get to know what the other end of the world is happening thus to bridge the gap between different cultures, While it may takes more time by reading books. It will be efficiency and beneficial to learn knowledge from books and use selective information that television provides us.  

In conclusion, learning from books will always be the foremost choice for people during their study. While employing television and other technological instruments, books will continue to have great or even greater influence on people’s life of learning.