issue114 三月机经最高频作文大演练、请大家狂批谢谢

菜丸子UID: 158771

非常感谢DEZHI帮我批改了昨天的文章，今天我写了一篇机经里出现频率最高的issue,（13次）ISSUE114, 从头到尾,认认真真地写完了每一句,并且重点针对了以前的错误，坚决不再重犯！希望写过的同学一起跟帖过来共勉谢谢！
另外想问大家几个问题：
1、ISSUE里面写关于恐怖主义的内容的时候应该注意什么？
2、美国社会主流对于克隆人的实验是支持还是否定？
3、ISSUE的各段字数多的是不是排前面，后面再排到字数少的？
谢谢！


ISSUE 114 技术革新不能改变人类的现状
"Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity."
我的论点:
1\  技术的发展给邪恶的力量制造了更强大更多的制造破坏的方式;
2\ 技术的发展没有从根本上解决人们内心丑恶的劣根性,促进社会精神文明的发展;
3\技术的发展是建立在牺牲人类一些宝贵的品德的基础上的,比如爱心,友好,同情心等等.

正文如下:
Take a brief glance at the history of the humanity over the past century or so, we may be proud at the tremendous technological progresses made by human beings.  Whereas it is true that  technological innovations have brought great impact towards the whole society, the fact remains that some tough problems, like war, violence and poverty, still exist or, to some extent, become tenser and tenser. In my opinion, technology cannot essentially improve the condition of humanity, as it is not the technique that truly determines human's behaviors.

First, it is sometimes the high technique that endows terrorism the approaches to powerful destruction. Nuclear weapons, biochemical experiences, and clone-man technique, which are the horrible results of technique, are threatening us everyday. No one can imagine what would happen to us if these techniques were one day acquired by some evil people for their ill intentions. Take the nuclear weapon for example, it is the chief criminal that brought the calamity to Fukuoka during the World War Two, leaving the whole Japan in grief and indignation. And some assaults are taking place day and day. Like hackers' attacks, which would be the most familiar one of all, have run risks towards the information safety and brought great loss to either individuals or the nation. For example, the CHI virus, created by Chen Yinghao in Taiwan, had once almost paralyzed the whole Internet. Another famous virus called "The Blast", is still dynamic in Internet at present. They both partially result from the abnormal development of the technique and are made use of by the malefactors who, maybe initially just want to show their proficiency in computer science.

Another reason why I dispute the given statement is that, the technological development  has never cured of  the internal evil of the human beings, not alone to make real progresses in spiritual civilization.“Human may found cure for most of their illnesses, but they have found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.” What Helen Kelly said is just a profound admonition to us. The indispensable tasks we need to accomplish to prompt the progress of a society are not only fast technological innovations, but also the ways to rescue people from walking towards an apathy and cruel trap. The latter one would be more significant and urgent according to the phenomenon existing among the human beings now.

Finally, the development of technique has based on the sacrifice of some precious moral characters of human beings, such as love, amicability, sympathy and so on.  As we know, the real progress is measured by both material and spiritual civilization, rather than only by the technological development. But the fast pace of technique has always reduced  the whole society to a disorder that,  everyone there squeezes themselves into pipelines and machines, missing their valuable virtues when confronted with money and reputation.  It is known to all that there always some instances showing people intriguing against each other on account of his own behalf, regardless of others' feelings and conditions. How could the society make a real progress under this kind of atmosphere?

In sum, with respect to the fact that there are still many problems existed in accelerating the essential progress of our society though the technique innovates rapidly, the condition of the whole humanity has not be improved much until one day, we attach more importance on some radical issues.

菜丸子UID: 158771

55555555，没人批啊~~~~~~~~~~~你们不给批，看一下文章，打个分也好啊。

SRVUID: 157299

正看你文章呢，等会

lin227UID: 158095

ISSUE 114 技术革新不能改变人类的现状
"Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity."
我的论点:
1\ 技术的发展给邪恶的力量制造了更强大更多的制造破坏的方式;
2\ 技术的发展没有从根本上解决人们内心丑恶的劣根性,促进社会精神文明的发展;
3\技术的发展是建立在牺牲人类一些宝贵的品德的基础上的,比如爱心,友好,同情心等等.

正文如下:
Take a brief glance at the history of the humanity over the past century or so, we may be proud at the tremendous technological progresses made by human beings. Whereas it is true that technological innovations have brought great impact towards the whole society, the fact remains that some tough problems, like war, violence and poverty, still exist or, to some extent, become tenser and tenser. In my opinion, technology cannot essentially improve the condition of humanity, as it is not the technique that truly determines human's behaviors.

First, it is sometimes the high technique that endows terrorism the approaches to powerful destruction. Nuclear weapons, biochemical experiences, and clone-man（这个本身还在争议，你能下定论，再说都还没实现呢） technique, which are the horrible results of technique, are threatening us everyday. No one can imagine what would happen to us if these techniques were one day acquired by some evil people for their ill intentions. Take the nuclear weapon for example, it is the chief criminal that brought the calamity to Fukuoka during the World War Two, leaving the whole Japan in grief and indignation. （你竟然同情日本，还弄了个indignation，要同情你也从基本的人性角度，感叹大量生命丧失）And some assaults are taking place day and day. Like hackers' attacks, which would be the most familiar one of all（这句什么意思啊）, have run risks towards the information safety and brought great loss to either individuals or the （这里泛指用a吧或nations）nation. For example, the CHI virus, created by Chen Yinghao in Taiwan, had once almost paralyzed the whole Internet. Another famous virus called "The Blast", is still dynamic in Internet at present. They both partially result from the abnormal development of the technique and are made use of by the malefactors who, maybe initially just want to show their proficiency in computer science.

Another reason why I dispute the given statement is that, the technological development has never cured of the internal evil of the human beings, not alone to （let alone）make real progresses in spiritual civilization.“Human may found cure for most of their illnesses, but they have found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.” What Helen Kelly said is just a profound admonition to us. The indispensable tasks we need to accomplish to prompt the progress of a society are not only fast technological innovations, but also the ways to rescue people from walking towards an apathy and cruel trap. The latter one would be more significant and urgent according to the phenomenon existing among the human beings now.

Finally, the development of technique has based on the sacrifice of some precious moral characters of human beings, such as love, amicability, sympathy and so on. As we know, the real progress is measured by both material and spiritual civilization, rather than only by the technological development. But the fast pace of technique has always reduced the whole society to a disorder that, everyone there squeezes themselves into pipelines and machines, missing their valuable virtues when confronted with money and reputation. It is known to all that there always some instances showing people intriguing against each other on account of his own behalf, regardless of others' feelings and conditions. How could the society make a real progress under this kind of atmosphere?

In sum, with respect to the fact that there are still many problems existed in accelerating the essential progress of our society though the technique innovates rapidly, the condition of the whole humanity has not be improved much until one day, we attach more importance on some radical issues.

比我写得好多了！

SRVUID: 157299

Take a brief glance at the history of the humanity over the past century or so, we may be proud at(proud of,没有proud at这种用法吧？)the tremendous technological progresses made by human beings. Whereas it is true that technological innovations have brought great impact towards the whole society, the fact remains that some tough problems, like war, violence and poverty, still exist or, to some extent, become tenser and tenser. In my opinion, technology cannot essentially improve the condition of humanity, as it is not the technique that truly determines human's behaviors.开头不错

First, it is sometimes the high technique that endows terrorism the approaches to powerful destruction. Nuclear weapons, biochemical experiences, and clone-man technique, which are the horrible results of technique, are threatening us everyday. No one can imagine what would happen to us if these techniques were one day acquired by some evil people for their ill intentions. Take the nuclear weapon for example, it is the chief criminal （这里有点逻辑错误吧，主要的罪行不是原子蛋，而是evil humanity!不过我个人挺支持美国投原子蛋的，要不遭殃就是的咱们了）that brought the calamity to Fukuoka during the World War Two, leaving the whole Japan in grief and indignation.（ 这里应该有个联词比较好moreover之类）And some assaults are taking place day and day. Like hackers' attacks, which would be the most familiar one of all, have run risks towards the information safety and brought great loss to either individuals or the nation. For example, the CHI virus, created by Chen Yinghao in Taiwan, had once almost paralyzed the whole Internet. Another famous virus called "The Blast", is still dynamic in Internet at present. They both partially result from the abnormal development of the technique and are made use of by the malefactors who, maybe initially just want to show their proficiency in computer science. 例子挺合适的，但是结尾最好能够在点一下ts,

Another reason why I dispute the given statement is that,（这里为甚没要有逗号？） the technological development has never cured of the internal evil of the human beings, not alone to make real progresses in spiritual civilization.“Human may found cure for most of their illnesses, but they have found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.” What Helen Kelly said is just a profound admonition to us. The indispensable tasks we need to accomplish to prompt the progress of a society are not only fast technological innovations, but also the ways to rescue people from walking towards an apathy and cruel trap. The latter one would be more significant and urgent according to the phenomenon existing among the human beings now.我觉得这段才是反驳题目的中心段应该多写些，而且这段你的论证没有展开，你说的是tech并没有找出治疗人们内心的evil的方法，后面说的是我们应该寻找这些方法，没有展开。我觉得可以写校园枪杀案之类的，虽然技术给我提供了很好的生活环境，但还是不能改变这些悲剧的发生

Finally, the development of technique has based on the sacrifice of some precious moral characters of human beings, such as love, amicability, sympathy and so on. As we know, the real progress is measured by both material and spiritual civilization, rather than only by the technological development. But the fast pace of technique has always reduced（减少？为甚没用这个词？快速的发展） the whole society to a disorder that,（又是逗号呵呵不用加逗号吧，没见过这样的定语从句，还是我孤陋寡闻?） everyone there squeezes themselves into pipelines and machines, missing their valuable virtues when confronted with money and reputation. It is known to all that there always some instances showing people intriguing against each other on account of his own behalf, regardless of others' feelings and conditions. How could the society make a real progress under this kind of atmosphere?我觉得这段也可以作为主要反驳题目的论点。科技的发展导致人性的丧失。

In sum, with respect to the fact that there are still many problems existed in accelerating the essential progress of our society though the technique innovates rapidly, the condition of the whole humanity has not be improved much until one day, we attach more importance on some radical issues.

继续努力！我觉得你的文章写得流畅，但是应该注意结构上的安排，后边两个论点都可以展开写，而且是从本质上反驳题目
‘个人意见，仅供参考！

帮我也改改吧issue76刚发的，每人理那现在：（（

菜丸子UID: 158771

谢谢啊~~~~~~~~~~感动得一把鼻涕一把泪的，来来，捏个丸子给你吃

菜丸子UID: 158771

挖哈哈两位真是说得好啊，关于原子弹那个例子举得确实不好，直冲老美啊，哦哈哈哈哈，逗啊~喵的~

菜丸子UID: 158771

回SRV：关于But the fast pace of technique has always reduced（减少？为甚没用这个词？快速的发展） the whole society to a disorder that
不是减少啊， REDUCE STH. TO是一个固定短语啊，意思是把什么置于一个什么地步~~~呵呵
后面的加标点是为了区分句子的主从关系。
不过还是谢谢你！
关于你的

我觉得可以写校园枪杀案之类的，虽然技术给我提供了很好的生活环境，但还是不能改变这些悲剧的发生

NOD，应该深入写下去，你举的例子不错！

SRVUID: 157299

reduce sth to 呵呵 又长知识了
大家互相帮助不必客气
帮我看看吧我刚自己定了一下

qqseacrabUID: 158564

个人意见:
字数方面,第一个body应该是最长的吧,第二个和第三个差不多,或第三个稍短,但最好他们不要差太多,我认为这样总体看起来比较舒服.
还有,文章行文挺流畅的,就是例子方面(同意楼上的)要考虑啊

月偏食UID: 158457

Take a brief glance at the history of the humanity over the past century or so, we may be proud at the tremendous technological progresses made by human beings. Whereas it is true that technological innovations have brought great impact towards the whole society, the fact remains that some tough problems, like war, violence and poverty, still exist or, to some extent, become tenser and tenser.(more and more 用法感觉不太正规啊，是不是even tenser比较好一些呢) In my opinion, technology cannot essentially improve the condition of humanity, as it is not the technique that truly determines human's behaviors.

First, it is sometimes the high technique that endows terrorism the approaches to powerful destruction. Nuclear weapons, biochemical experiences, and clone-man technique, which are the horrible results of technique, are threatening us everyday. No one can imagine what would happen to us if these techniques were one day acquired by some evil people for their ill intentions. Take the nuclear weapon for example, it is the chief criminal that brought the calamity to Fukuoka during the World War Two, leaving the whole Japan in grief and indignation. And some assaults are taking place day and day. Like hackers' attacks, which would be the most familiar one of all, have run risks towards the information safety and brought great loss to either individuals or the nation. For example, the CHI（cih吧，呵呵，如果是打错了就算了） virus, created by Chen Yinghao in Taiwan, had once almost paralyzed the whole Internet. Another famous virus called "The Blast", is still dynamic in Internet at present. They both partially result from the abnormal development of the technique and are made use of by the malefactors who, maybe initially just want to show their proficiency in computer science.

Another reason why I dispute the given statement is that, the technological development has never cured of the internal evil of the human beings, not alone to make real progresses in spiritual civilization.“Human may found cure for most of their illnesses, but they have found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.” What Helen Kelly said is just a profound admonition to us. The indispensable tasks we need to accomplish to prompt the progress of a society are not only fast technological innovations, but also the ways to rescue people from walking towards an apathy and cruel trap. The latter one would be more significant and urgent according to the phenomenon existing among the human beings now.

Finally, the development of technique has based on the sacrifice of some precious moral characters of human beings, such as love, amicability, sympathy and so on. As we know, the real progress is measured by both material and spiritual civilization, rather than only by the technological development. But the fast pace of technique has always reduced the whole society to a disorder that, everyone there squeezes themselves into pipelines and machines, missing their valuable virtues when confronted with money and reputation. It is known to all that there always some instances showing people intriguing against each other on account of his own behalf, regardless of others' feelings and conditions. How could the society make a real progress under this kind of atmosphere?

In sum, with respect to the fact that there are still many problems existed in accelerating the essential progress of our society though the technique innovates rapidly, the condition of the whole humanity has not be improved much until one day, we attach more importance on some radical issues.

真的蛮累的，到后来批不出什么了。不过还是很认真的看完的，我给5分吧，如果不能给5.5的话。呵呵（给自己留个面子）

lookforjoyUID: 53428

晕 病毒是cih，不是chi吧！

lookforjoyUID: 53428

比较喜欢你的开头，
比我写得好多了！

sniper613UID: 147372

ISSUE 114 技术革新不能改变人类的现状
"Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity."
我的论点:
1\ 技术的发展给邪恶的力量制造了更强大更多的制造破坏的方式;
2\ 技术的发展没有从根本上解决人们内心丑恶的劣根性,促进社会精神文明的发展;
3\技术的发展是建立在牺牲人类一些宝贵的品德的基础上的,比如爱心,友好,同情心等等.

(我觉得全部在说科技得坏处就跟全部说科技得好处一样，显得你考虑问题不全面。我就的正反都应该写写)

正文如下:
Take（taking,第一句就这么严重的语法错误，打PP） a brief glance at the history of the humanity over the past century or so, we may be proud at the tremendous technological progresses made by human beings. Whereas it is true that technological innovations have brought great impact towards the whole society, (but) the fact remains that some tough problems, like war, violence and poverty, still exist or, to some extent, become tenser and tenser. In my opinion, technology cannot essentially improve the condition of humanity, as it is not the technique that truly determines human's behaviors.

First, it is sometimes the high technique that endows terrorism the approaches to powerful destruction. Nuclear weapons(have been used?), biochemical experiences, and clone-man technique(=terrorism?), which are the horrible results of technique, are threatening us everyday.(too absolute!) No one can imagine what would happen to us if these techniques were one day acquired by some evil people for their ill intentions. Take the nuclear weapon for example, it is the chief criminal that brought the calamity to Fukuoka during the World War Two, leaving the whole Japan in grief and indignation.(你的主题是terrorism，美国人是恐怖分子？ETS会FT的！) And some assaults are taking place day and day. Like hackers' attacks, which would be the most familiar one of all, have run risks towards the information safety and brought great loss to either individuals or the nation. For example, the CHI virus, created by Chen Yinghao in Taiwan, had once almost paralyzed the whole Internet. Another famous virus called "The Blast", is still dynamic in Internet at present. They both partially result from the abnormal development of the technique and are made use of by the malefactors who, maybe initially just want to show their proficiency in computer science. （最大的问题，主题句和论据的分离，例子很好，以后多加注意就行了）

Another reason why I dispute（？你是反对还是同意题目？？！！） the given statement is that, the technological development has never cured of the internal evil of the human beings, not alone to make real progresses in spiritual civilization. “Human may found cure for most of their illnesses, but they have found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.” What Helen Kelly said is just a profound admonition to us. The indispensable tasks we need to accomplish to prompt the progress of a society are not only fast technological innovations, but also the ways to rescue people from walking towards an apathy and cruel trap. The latter one would be more significant and urgent according to the phenomenon existing among the human beings now.（最好在说说解决办法，如加强精神文明建设。。。。。。。）

Finally, the development of technique has based on the sacrifice of some precious moral characters of human beings, such as love, amicability, sympathy and so on. As we know, the real progress is measured by both material and spiritual civilization, rather than only by the technological development. But the fast pace of technique has always reduced the whole society to a disorder that, everyone there squeezes themselves into pipelines and machines, missing their valuable virtues when confronted with money and reputation. It is known to all that there always some instances showing people intriguing against each other on account of his own behalf, regardless of others' feelings and conditions. How could the society make a real progress under this kind of atmosphere?（例子！用argument的观点，你的是unfounded assumption）

In sum, with respect to the fact that there are still many problems existed in accelerating the essential progress of our society though the technique innovates rapidly, the condition of the whole humanity has not be improved much until one day, we attach more importance on some radical issues.

加油阿，平时多看看新闻，我的很多例子就是从上网看到的

juliozhaoUID: 144326

非常感谢DEZHI帮我批改了昨天的文章，今天我写了一篇机经里出现频率最高的issue,（13次）ISSUE114, 从头到尾,认认真真地写完了每一句,并且重点针对了以前的错误，坚决不再重犯！希望写过的同学一起跟帖过来共勉谢谢！
另外想问大家几个问题：
1、ISSUE里面写关于恐怖主义的内容的时候应该注意什么？
2、美国社会主流对于克隆人的实验是支持还是否定？
3、ISSUE的各段字数多的是不是排前面，后面再排到字数少的？
谢谢！


ISSUE 114 技术革新不能改变人类的现状
"Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity."
我的论点:
1\ 技术的发展给邪恶的力量制造了更强大更多的制造破坏的方式;
2\ 技术的发展没有从根本上解决人们内心丑恶的劣根性,促进社会精神文明的发展;
3\技术的发展是建立在牺牲人类一些宝贵的品德的基础上的,比如爱心,友好,同情心等等.

正文如下:
Take a brief glance at the history of the humanity over the past century or so, we may be proud at the tremendous technological progresses made by human beings. Whereas it is true that technological innovations have brought great impact towards the whole society, the fact remains that some tough problems, like war, violence and poverty, still exist or, to some extent, become tenser and tenser. In my opinion, technology cannot essentially improve the condition of humanity, as it is not the technique that truly determines human's behaviors.

First, it is sometimes the high technique that endows terrorism the approaches to powerful destruction. Nuclear weapons, biochemical experiences（经历？EXPERIMENT）, and clone-man technique   (克隆人好像和恐怖主义无关吧！！一定是看了太多的科幻电影：P),     which are the horrible results of technique, are threatening us everyday（说的有点夸张吧？？）. No one can imagine what would happen to us if these techniques were one day acquired by some evil people for their ill intentions. Take the nuclear weapon for example, it is the chief criminal that brought the calamity to Fukuoka during the World War Two  （好像是广岛和长崎吧？？） , leaving the whole Japan in grief and indignation. And some assaults are taking place day and day. Like hackers' attacks, which would be the most familiar one of all, have run risks towards the information safety and brought great loss to either individuals or the nation. For example, the CHI virus, created by Chen Yinghao   （ 写反了Yinghao Chen）  in Taiwan, had once almost paralyzed the whole Internet. Another famous virus called "The Blast", is still dynamic in Internet at present. They both partially result from the abnormal development of the technique and are made use of by the malefactors who, maybe initially just want to show their proficiency in computer science.
第一个例子还可以，后面的例子好像不太贴切，另外，这段你只是在堆垒论据，没有论述过程！
Another reason why I dispute the given statement is that, the technological development has never cured of the internal evil of the human beings, not alone to make real progresses in spiritual civilization.“Human may found cure for most of their illnesses, but they have found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.” What Helen Kelly said is just a profound admonition to us. The indispensable tasks we need to accomplish to prompt the progress of a society are not only fast technological innovations, but also the ways to rescue people from walking towards an apathy and cruel trap. The latter one would be more significant and urgent according to the phenomenon existing among the human beings now.（感觉立论点有点问题，科学和改变人的本性有关吗？？）

Finally, the development of technique has based on the sacrifice of some precious moral characters of human beings, such as love, amicability, sympathy and so on. As we know, the real progress is measured by both material and spiritual civilization, rather than only by the technological development. But the fast pace of technique has always reduced the whole society to a disorder that, everyone there squeezes themselves into pipelines and machines, missing their valuable virtues when confronted with money and reputation. It is known to all that there always some instances showing people intriguing against each other on account of his own behalf, regardless of others' feelings and conditions. How could the society make a real progress under this kind of atmosphere?
（论点可以但不是很好证明，你一旦说的太决对，就要有十足的把握把他说的无懈可击，要不就留点余地。）
In sum, with respect to the fact that there are still many problems existed in accelerating the essential progress of our society though the technique innovates rapidly, the condition of the whole humanity has not be improved much until one day, we attach more importance on some radical issues.

语言很好，就是感觉你一写起来就思绪万千，写着写着就写到别的方面去了，建议不时的回头看看论点。
BY THE WAY 强喜欢你的签名图，！虽然本人水平一般，我会多帮你看文章的
一点建议，仅供参考！！！