【独立写作】yy80884676作业帖

DorieUID: 3518115

你这样的写法我觉得不属于正反观点，你为什么字数少，是因为你没有扩展你的观点。你对主题的理解我总结为“我同意，但是不完全同意”，那么你应该有很多好些的，但是你也没有完全表达你想要的意思。

我觉得应该这样比较好，起始段（表明观点），第1段+第2段，（首先写同意的原因），第3段（不完全同意的原因），结尾段。这样5段你的字数就能撑的很多。

另外，你的例子不明确，第二个观点里没有举例，这样会Fail的，我觉得托福的作文就是美式论文，也就是八股文，除非你的逻辑很强，写出的字数多的不需要例证，否则缺少例证的观点不会被认可。其实，你要字数多很简单，每一个论述段你就按照“中心句+分析+举例+总结”这样包你400+。字数多了，就算写的再不济，分数也不会太低。

另外，想要短时间内写出很多字，不是不可能，我曾经看到有一个网友说他考试30分钟写了700多字，最后虽然integreted writing是fail,但是总的写作仍然有27分，只要多多练习，要练习快速提炼观点和多背诵例子，考试的时候自然字数爆棚，字数主要靠举例撑出来。

以上供你参考。

DorieUID: 3518115

还有这里我想要说的是，我曾经听过新东方的一个老师讲课，这位老师说，不要一开始就一味的追求一定要在30分钟里写的怎样怎样，你看了标题你就先写，一开始写1、2个小时是很正常的，写完再改，哪怕用3个小时也无所谓，然后慢慢的你就熟悉作文的套路，也会慢慢养成自己的行文习惯，等会写了再把时间的因素考虑进去。供你参考吧。

yy80884676UID: 3468839

Dorie 发表于 2014-9-1 20:29
你这样的写法我觉得不属于正反观点，你为什么字数少，是因为你没有扩展你的观点。你对主题的理解我总结为“ ...

感谢分享恩~ 关于你说的展开方式 “中心句+分析+举例+总结”；比如你看我下面这个Firstly这段，这样的例子可以么？不过感觉我这里举的例子有点废话了，感觉完全是把“分析”部分的内容“套”了一下，重复了一遍？这样也有必要么？

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? An effective leader tries to make others feel they are part of the decision-making process.

In our daily life, there're many opportunities to work in a group, from a small contest in school to the fierce competitions in market. There's no doubt the efficiency of reacting to new assignments is one of the most significant factors of whether a group has a high level of competitiveness. To become effective leaders, some people argues that they should try to make all the members feel they are part of the decision-making process, with which I cannot agree more, especially with the word "feel".

Firstly, the sense of ownership is the guarantee of high efficiency. If the members feel they are involved in making the decision, they are more likely to be aware of that they are one of the owner. Instead of being forced to finish some assignments, in this case, they will think they are doing the jobs for their own. This sense of ownership will bring about higher efficiency. For instance, when in my freshman year, I took part in a programming contest with two of my friends. At first, I asked them to implement my thoughts without considering theirs, because I think my programming skill is a little better than theirs. I had supposed that we can save some time for discussing by doing so. However, they told me they felt they were just like slaves and thus had no passion to work harder. After that, we started to discuss our solutions, which increased our efficiency and brought us a good result.

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DorieUID: 3518115

In our daily life, there're many opportunities to work in a group, from a small contest in school to the fierce competitions in market. There's no doubt that  the efficiency of reacting to new assignments is one of the most significant factors of whether a group has a high level of competitiveness. To become effective leaders, some people argues that they should try to make all the members feel they are part of the decision-making process, with which I cannot agree more, especially with the word "feel".

Firstly, the sense of ownership(belonging归属感？) is the guarantee of high efficiency. If the team members feel they are involved in making the decision, they are more likely to be aware of that they are one of the owner. Instead of being forced to finish some assignments, in this case, they will think they are doing the jobs for their own. This sense of ownership will bring about higher efficiency. For instance, when in my freshman year, I took part in a programming contest with two of my friends. At first, I asked them to implement my own thoughts without considering theirs, because I think my programming skill is a little better than theirs. I had supposed that we can save some time for discussing by doing so. However, they told me they felt they were just like slaves and thus had no passion to work harder. After that, we started to discuss our solutions, which increased our efficiency and brought us a good result.

我觉得这个例子很好，很贴切，可以再加一句总结句，这段就OK了，可能有一些小的语法问题，你再仔细看一下，呵呵。实际举例就是为了论证你的观点，如果你的例子和观点正好可以一一对应，那岂不是完美例子。然后等写的多了，你就可以换换花样，比如把firstly换成first and foremost.这样又多两个字。