2015年9月学习小组"雅思写作互改小组"(交作业请直接上传)

土俚予UID: 3506168

冰炎凌 发表于 2014-11-24 19:02
对不起！看错了，马上补救

没事没事 麻烦啦。。。连给我批两份。。。我也这就帮你批~

冰炎凌UID: 3544815

天马星空001 发表于 2014-11-23 16:02
Distance education delivered over the Internet or televisionhas more advantages than classroom-bas ...

不好意思，刚才才发现你的Nov.17th-19th习作，不该是我批改。。。:dizzy:

冰炎凌UID: 3544815

土俚予 发表于 2014-11-24 18:58
同学你应该帮我批的是17-19的。。。。这个是20-22 下载错了。。

对不起！看错了，马上补救

土俚予UID: 3506168

冰炎凌 发表于 2014-11-24 17:22
欢迎交流~~

同学你应该帮我批的是17-19的。。。。这个是20-22 下载错了。。

土俚予UID: 3506168

天马星空001 发表于 2014-11-23 16:02
Distance education delivered over the Internet or televisionhas more advantages than classroom-bas ...

能不能换成WORD重新发一下。。。这个太恐怖了。。看起来好累。。

karen小心UID: 3405382

天马星空001 发表于 2014-11-23 16:02
Distance education delivered over the Internet or televisionhas more advantages than classroom-bas ...

下次私下用Word修改吧。这样太占版面了

冰炎凌UID: 3544815

土俚予 发表于 2014-11-21 21:23
麻烦批改了~

欢迎交流~~

zoeybarbyUID: 3570556

zoeybarby 发表于 2014-11-20 18:48
新人，谢谢给我批改的小伙伴

版主，为啥没有给我改作文？

天马星空001UID: 3519659

土俚予 发表于 2014-11-21 21:23
麻烦批改了~

Distance education delivered over the Internet or televisionhas more advantages than classroom-based education. Do you agree or disagree?

The [url=]widespread[/url][M1] of[url=]distanteducation[/url][M2] todayhas sparkled controversy over whether it is better than traditional educationin classrooms. I believe the former one brings more advantages thanclassroom-based education and this is a good trend.
Students can benefit from [url=]traditional[/url][M3] way of learning in terms of working in society after graduation. The school andclassroom maybe [url=]provides[/url][M4] people with opportunities to make friends before entering society. People canfind those who have same interest in classroom education such as face-to-facegroup [url=]talks[/url][M5] .Through this way, it is possible for students to develop a network of contactsand grasp a better future prospect.
第一段三句话，1.背景知识，2.转述话题，3.表明观点，最好不要超过50个字
Classroom-based education 有两个优点：1. Interactionbetween teachers and students or among students. 原因：educating activitiesinvolve teaching and learning, 导致结果：improve efficiency of education
2. classroom-based educationprovide students an opportunity to socialize and make friends. Know each otherand develop friendship.
On the other hand, [url=]distant[/url][M6] education has a positive impact on spreading knowledge on a global scale. With [url=]massive technology[/url][M7] changes,the online education develops at an astounding pace and has been an option forstudents who prefer having class across boundaries. For example, a softwarecalled YouDao allows Chinese undergraduates to experience lessons of the worldfamous universities, especially for those who intend to study abroad. This wayof education makes it possible for knowledge to be shared all over the worldquickly, regardless of countries and geography.
第二段第一句话是中心句，里面要回应主题或者包含关键字。后面的论据要围绕这个中心句展开。
Also, students can get better studying [url=]effects[/url][M8] through studying online than classroom-based one. There are tailored coursematerials and designed drills online for students to choose. If they takeadvantage of themselves, it is definite for them to get better grades. What’smore, there are numerous videos related to [url=]course[/url][M9] ,which means students are capable of studying at their own [url=]pace[/url][M10] . This solution can also avoid damaging disadvantaged[url=]students[/url][M11]  self-esteem among their peers when theyfind themselves learning later than others.
这一段的中心句是学生通过网络授课学习效果比在教室里学习要好，但论据不咋支持这个中心句….

网络授课的优点： 1.时间灵活，1天24小时，一周7天都有，学生接受教育时间上灵活。
2. 成本上经济。只需电脑和网络就OK了。
3. 教育不受地域，天气限制。下雪天或者暴雨天可在家完成教育；一些没有教育设施的孤岛的孩子也能接受教育。
To sum up, although classroom-based education still has some[url=]benefits[/url][M12] , I insist that online education is thefurther tendency and it brings us more[url=]advantages[/url][M13] .

M12和M13 最好能进一步具体和细节化，而不是放一个大词在这里。

结尾段有两个任务。
1. 重新论述你的立场和观点
2. 重新总结主题部分讨论过的要点。

---

[M1]Widespread是形容词, 后面加utilization


[M2]Distanceeducation


[M3]Conventional


[M4]provide


[M5]discussion


[M6]distance


[M7]要有具体的物体来承载，比如computer and the internet technology


[M8]Results


[M9]courses


[M10]paces


[M11]students’


[M12]


[M13]

天马星空001UID: 3519659

交作业，劳驾修改，谢谢！

zqia88UID: 3575072

23-25 占位置

zqia88UID: 3575072

改好了：）

土俚予UID: 3506168

zqia88 发表于 2014-11-22 14:34
亲 不好意思 之前没看见 尽快给你改

没事~麻烦拉~

zqia88UID: 3575072

土俚予 发表于 2014-11-18 17:02
版主求搭理啊 我14-15的作文你没看到。。。。

亲 不好意思 之前没看见 尽快给你改

zqia88UID: 3575072

土俚予 发表于 2014-11-18 17:02
版主求搭理啊 我14-15的作文你没看到。。。。

亲 不好意思 之前没看见 尽快给你改