GRE作文6分教学博客

tesolchinaUID??2191404

54) Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


The author argues that cliamte changes and environmental factors instead of human activities are responsible for the extinctions of the large mammals. A number of assumptions have been made about the absence of evidence of contact between human and large mammals, the sites where fish bones were discarded and the climate changes.  We need to examine these assumptions carefully to decide if the argument is reasonable.

To begin with, it is assumed that the absence of evidence for human-mammal contact means that there is no such contact. Since the possible contact would have occurred from 7000 years ago to 4000 years ago, many traces left for the contact might have simply disappeared over the long period of time. For example, humans could have set up traps to hunt and kill the mammals but after many years of geological movement and climate changes, it is not possible for archaeologists to find such traps.  Some ancient humans could have been killed during their fight against the large mammals, but without the abilities or technologies to keep written records, their stories could not be passed to the present generations. In other words, we cannot assume there is no contact between humans and mammals simply because there is no evidence found yet.

The lack of bones of mammals in the site where fish bones were discarded could be interpreted in different ways. It cannot be assumed without further evidence that humans would discard the mammals' bones after killing and eating them. Maybe ancient humans had learned to make tools out of the bones. Or the bones had been used in certain religious ceremonies. And after being used as tools or for religious purposes, the bones could have been discarded in other places or buried somewhere that archaeologists nowadays had not yet discovered.

Another assumption being made here is that climate changes and other changes in environmental factors that may cause the extinctions are not related to human activities. Maybe the human settlement in the Islands was the main cause of the dramatic changes in the habitat and the ecosystem that would ultimately lead to the extinctions of the large mammals.  If human activities have caused the climate or environmental changes, the arrival of humans would still be considered as a significant factor for the extinctions of large mammals even there was no significant contact between humans and large mammals.

In conclusion, a number of assumptions have been made in the argument. We need more evidence to examine the evidence. If these assumptions do not hold true, the argument would not stand.

tesolchinaUID??2191404

The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this argument, it is recommended that Monarch should open a cafe in order to attract more customers for a number of reasons.  Firstly, it is assumed that Monarch customers will find the cafe attractive.  Moreover, based on the results of a national census, it is predicted that the demand of children's books will decline due to the demographic changes.  Therefore, space can be made for a new cafe by cutting the children's book section.  Finally, the move to build a new cafe is necessary for competing against Regal Books which has offered a cafe to its customers.  To evaluate the recommendation, a number of questions need to be answered.

To begin with, research efforts need to be made to investigate the customers' attitudes towards a possible new cafe.  If a large number of Monarch customers would indeed find the cafe interesting, the addition of the cafe will then enhance the customers' shopping experiences at Monarch.  If this is the case, the recommendation would be considered stronger.  Otherwise, if the marketing researches suggest that most of the Monarch customers prefer to shop at Monarch but read elsewhere, the new cafe will not make the store more attractive.

Another important issue to look into is the demographic structure of the Monarch customers.  The results of national census are not useful in the analysis here unless the target customers of Monarch share the similar structure with the national population in terms of age.  It is entirely possible that, despite the national trend of fewer children in the population, there will be more children in the areas where Monarch is in business. The timeliness of the national census is another concern as the most recent census may still be too old to reflect the demographic trend.

Furthermore, one has to examine other factors such as parents' preferences and school policies that may influence the demand for children's books.  If the parents become more interested in improving their children's literacy skills through reading, more children's books are likely to be sold.  Likewise, if the local schools introduce reading programs that encourage more children to read, more money will be available for purchasing books written for children.

As far as competing against Regal Books is concerned, the first question one needs to investigate is whether or not the new cafe at Regal has  been successful in attracting more customers.  If Regal's new cafe is not very attractive, there is little incentive for Monarch to follow the practice.  Even if the Regal is successful in building an attractive cafe, one has to review the size of investment that is required for the project and decide whether Monarch can afford the same amount of financial commitment.  Meanwhile, other options for attracting more customers, for example building an online shop, should also be explored.

tesolchinaUID??2191404

54）In order to become well-rounded individuals, all college students should be required to take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types of imaginative literature.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

这道题刚才在微信群里和同学们讨论，回到家里有点小兴奋。

首先对于这种题目的结构可以进行某种归纳，就是提出来某个目标become well-rounded individuals以及实现这个目标的手段all college students should be required to take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types of imaginative literature. 这道题未必要用分类讨论  

对于这种目标-手段的题目，首先要将目标具体化，然后再讨论这个手段对于实现目标的意义 这是一种全面支持的思路

It is widely acknowledged that college education is not just about developing professional skills in specific disciplines; receiving college education also means to become well-rounded, which involves a genuine understanding of human nature and the world around us. For this reason, I believe that reading imaginative literature is necessary for all college students.  In addition, only through course requirement can the students be given enough incentives to read the imaginative works systematically and provided the theoretical training for benefiting from reading the works.  

To begin with, reading imaginative literature is critically important for college students to develop a well-rounded perspective on human beings and the world. One of the fundamental feature of all imaginative works is that the authors, despite the time and space that constrain their physical beings, had the imaginative and creative talents to address the issues that concern humanity as a whole.  The novel “seven”, which was later adapted into a Hollywood blockbuster, for example, explored the human sins that were first depicted in the Bible. Only through critically reading imaginative works like “seven” could the students have a more profound understanding of the struggle of human beings against human nature.  In other words, reading imaginative works provides the opportunities for students to learn about the world and themselves that are not available in other disciplinary studies such as math and economics.  

People may argue that students can be encouraged to read such imaginative works on their own rather than taking mandatory courses.  In response to this argument, I would like to offer two counterarguments.  

First of all, course requirement is necessary for providing the incentives for students to read the imaginative works.  In the Age of Internet, many different entertainment activities are out there competing for students’ attention. Without the course requirement, students are more likely to find themselves watching TV, movies or surfing the Internet mindlessly.  Few students could derive pleasure from reading literary works when more relaxing activities like chatting with friends on Facebook are just a few clicks away.  They need the discipline and motivation that come with a well-structured course to read the works.  

In addition, we should not overlook the importance of professors in guiding the students to understand the imaginative works.  Professors who teach such courses are experts in literature who have been well-trained in reading the imaginative works critically and creatively.  In such courses, students will be provided theoretical tools to understand the texts that are not available when they read the texts independently.  For example, the concept of “intertextuality” can be used to explore the connection between the novel “seven” and the biblical theme of original sins.  Through such formal training in a college-level course, students will develop skills to read literary works more deeply in future and develop better and more comprehensive understanding of humanity.

In conclusion, I agree that all college students should be expected to take courses that involves reading imaginative literature as part of their graduation requirement. Such policy can provide the incentive for students to study imaginative works systematically and critically, helping them to develop a more profound and comprehensive understanding of themselves and the world.

tesolchinaUID??2191404

28) The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.  

To address the issue raised in the statement, it is important to clarify what it means to be a great nation. I would consider a nation great if it has made positive impact to the development of the contemporary world. Also, a nation that had contributed a great deal in the history of mankind should also be counted as a historically great nation.  Given this understanding of  greatness, I would first discuss why the general welfare of citizens is not a good indicator; I will then discuss some examples of great nations in history and in modern society to illustrate that the achievments of the elites are better indicators.  

While there is no doubt that a nation where people enjoy high quality of life is admirable, the general welfare of the people cannot serve as a reliable indicator of the greatness of a nation. When the people have access to abundant material goods and quality education, they will enjoy a high standard of living. But it does not follow that the nation would necessarily play an important role in the international community. Maybe the nation is endowed with rich natural resources. As a result, the government could afford generous welfare programs that guarantee the quality of life of its citizens.  Nevertheless, these wealthy nations do not deserve the label “great nations” unless they have made some substantial contribution to the world as a whole.  

In modern society, great nations are often the nations where exceptional leaders in the fields of politics, art and science had achieved great works that can benefit not just their compatriots but the people all over the world. The theoretical physicists in the US who were responsible for the early development of the Internet had made significant contribution to the progress of Information society through their experiments of new technologies.  As a result of their works and the other scientists in the US, the nation has become a great leader in information technologies and a great many people’s live have been transformed.  Meanwhile, the US is also considered a great nation as it has produced a significant number of leading scientitsts who had been awarded Nobel prizes.  These scientists’ achievement had great impact on contemporary society as well as future generations.

If we take a historical view, it is also clear that the achievements of the elites are the better indicator of whether a nation was great. In most ancient societies, the ruling elite often possess the majority of the land and the wealth. Consequently, with the huge income and wealth gap, the general welfare of the people was relatively poor.  But nations with outstanding rulers, artists and scientists were still considered great as the achievements of the elites were important for the historical development of the world. Without the invention of paper by an anonymous group of Chinese scientists, for example, Europe could not enjoy the adundant supply of cheap materials for writing and exchanging ideas.  Given its important contribution to the progress of the global civilization, it is indisputable that ancient China was one of the greatest nations in the world history.  As this example clearly illustrates, the achievement of the elites can be used to better indicate the historical greatness of a nation.

Overall speaking, people may disagree on what makes a great nation; as a result, opinions over this issue may vary greatly among people. If the greatness can be defined as a nation’s influence to the historical or contemporary development of the global society, then the achievements of the elites can be used as reliable indicators to determine the greatness of a nation. Meanwhile, the general welfare may not be a very yseful indicator because certain factors that are not related to the greatness of nations could be crucial in determining the general welfare of people.  

	动作分析	内容点评	语言点评
To address the issue raised in the statement, it is important to clarify what it means to be a great nation.	提出要界定的概念		it is ... to ...
I would consider a nation great if it has made positive impact to the development of the contemporary world.	界定概念
Also, a nation that had contributed a great deal in the history of mankind should also be counted as a historically great nation.	界定概念
Given this understanding of  greatness, I would first discuss why the general welfare of citizens is not a good indicator; I will then discuss some examples of great nations in history and in modern society to illustrate that the achievments of the elites are better indicators.	主旨句	基于这个概念以概括后文的 形式提出观点
While there is no doubt that a nation where people enjoy high quality of life is admirable, the general welfare of the people cannot serve as a reliable indicator of the greatness of a nation.	主题句	先让步再提出分论点
When the people have access to abundant material goods and quality education, they will enjoy a high standard of living.	描述本段分论点的前提条件
But it does not follow that the nation would necessarily play an important role in the international community.	否定从这个前提条件 得出的某个推论
Maybe the nation is endowed with rich natural resources. As a result, the government could afford generous welfare programs that guarantee the quality of life of its citizens.	提出某种其他可能性及后果
Nevertheless, these wealthy nations do not deserve the label “great nations” unless they have made some substantial contribution to the world as a whole.	继续推论并回应题目的主题	注意本段没有具体例子
In modern society, great nations are often the nations where exceptional leaders in the fields of politics, art and science had achieved great works that can benefit not just their compatriots but the people all over the world.	主题句	以前面的定义的 其中一个角度展开
The theoretical physicists in the US who were responsible for the early development of the Internet had made significant contribution to the progress of Information society through their experiments of new technologies.	提出例子
As a result of their works and the other scientists in the US, the nation has become a great leader in information technologies and a great many people’s live have been transformed.	将例子和本文主题联系起来
Meanwhile, the US is also considered a great nation as it has produced a significant number of leading scientists who had been awarded Nobel prizes.	再简单举例 联系主题
These scientists’ achievement had great impact on contemporary society as well as future generations.	展开例子 回应定义

	动作分析	内容点评	语言点评
If we take a historical view, it is also clear that the achievements of the elites are the better indicator of whether a nation was great.	主题句 回应定义的另一个方面
In most ancient societies, the ruling elite often possess the majority of the land and the wealth.	描述本段分论点的前提条件
Consequently, with the huge income and wealth gap, the general welfare of the people was relatively poor.	由上句推论 回应题目的关键词
But nations with outstanding rulers, artists and scientists were still considered great as the achievements of the elites were important for the historical development of the world.	结合题目的关键词论述分论点
Without the invention of paper by an anonymous group of Chinese scientists, for example, Europe could not enjoy the abundant supply of cheap materials for writing and exchanging ideas.	提出例子 将impact具体化
Given its important contribution to the progress of the global civilization, it is indisputable that ancient China was one of the greatest nations in the world history.	从例子归纳出general point
As this example clearly illustrates, the achievement of the elites can be used to better indicate the historical greatness of a nation.	再次回应题目的关键词

Overall speaking, people may disagree on what makes a great nation; as a result, opinions over this issue may vary greatly among people.	指出对关键概念不同的理解可能导致观点不同
If the greatness can be defined as a nation’s influence to the historical or contemporary development of the global society, then the achievements of the elites can be used as reliable indicators to determine the greatness of a nation.	基于本文的定义 则可以得出这样的结论
Meanwhile, the general welfare may not be a very useful indicator because certain factors that are not related to the greatness of nations could be crucial in determining the general welfare of people.	同否定另一个结论

09ljiangUID??3581965

厉害！学习！

点沧UID??3602612

22) According to a recent report, cheating among college and university students is on the rise. However, Groveton College has successfully reduced student cheating by adopting an honor code, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced a system in which teachers closely monitored students; under that system, teachers reported an average of thirty cases of cheating per year. In the first year the honor code was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey, a majority of Groveton students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. Thus, all colleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's in order to decrease cheating among students.

According to the author, all the colleges and universities should adopt honor codes which have reported successfully decreased the cheating rate in Groveton College.

DinosongUID??3587915

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-13 01:54
31) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our regio ...

指出一个小疏忽，这个是argument不是Issue

Lester_UID??3244454

Totally blew my mind...

很佩服LZ的精神！两年前去考新G几乎没怎么准备过写作，凭托福写作的底子只考了3.5。。。最近没空准备GRE，过几月我会回来的，相信我！下次我要4.5+ ！ 如今已是在职，反而没有了当年急于申请的急躁，只是想弥补之前的遗憾罢了。

tesolchinaUID??2191404

殇沫

考后总结

出成绩整整一周，4.5分。超乎自己想象了。终于可以圆满地和GRE告别。感谢老师！以下按照问题做个总结。

1. 在没有接受tesolchina的辅导前，你针对GRE作文有哪些问题、困难或困惑？  
两年半以前第一次GRE，作文只有3分。上过好几个英文写作课，找native老师多次改过作文。老师们的评价还是挺好的，所以一直没有明白为何当时分数很低，觉得GRE作文貌似很玄妙。不知道GRE作文看重的是什么，不知道如何构建complex的框架，不知道如何合理地展开段落。也不知道如何努力，如何提高。

2. 你觉得tesolchina的辅导对你的写作哪些方面有重要的改变？这里的辅导包括博客上的讲解、范文以及通过微信群及Quip的互改。
开始学着构建逻辑框架，学习有计划地展开段落。
认识到例子和主题的关系，并学着论述这种关系，而不是单纯地写事实，甚至为了写例子而写例子。
学着写短句，写简单句，写别人能看懂的句子……

3. 你在考试前一共练习了几篇issue和argument的全文或提纲？有没有计时？字数情况如何？写完后收到tesolchina的什么反馈？有没有修改？
全文写了Issue 和argument各七篇。提纲按照老师的指导帖把issue都过了一遍，参照别人的提纲和老师的意见构建自己的提纲。Argument看了20篇，大概想了想提纲，没有写。
这些练习都是计时的，和模考一起。字数大都在500左右。
写完后收到tesolchina非常非常详细的反馈，具体的在考前一天总结时我都列了出来。
老师反馈的文章我都进行了修改，有的还改过几次。

4. 你觉得练习最主要的收获是什么？
最主要的收获是老师详细的批改，以及批改以后的自改，老师再改。这种多次的修改能使我认识到自己的问题，并且尝试解决。老师改文章真的是非常的厉害，而且很有针对性，能抓住GRE作文最看重的地方，并且帮助我在这些地方有所提高。

5. 你在考场上运用了哪些写作策略和技巧，尤其是tesolchina强调过的？结合考试题目具体讨论下运用的情况。
考试的Issue 是university students should be required to take a variety of courses outside major fields to become truly educated
Argument是两个工厂事故数量差别，作者认为原因在于work shifts太长了，工人睡眠少，很累。所以建议缩短work shifts
考试的Issue是按照之前老师的模板写的。定义了truly educated。包括自己学科，其他学科的基础技能，人际交往。写了学习其他课程可以加深对本专业理解，掌握其他基本技能，建立人际关系。还加了一段说为什么不能靠自学，指出课程中教授指导的必要性。所以这是best way。
Argument的框架，开头段，中间段的展开都是模仿老师帖子里的方式进行的。非常有用，推荐大家好好看看那三个讲argument的帖子，并在每篇文章中尝试实践，体会句子组织的逻辑。

6. 你觉得备考GRE作文的过程对你的批判性思维及将来的学术写作能力有什么意义？ （请实话实说，觉得没有意义也请解释。）
准备的过程收获很多。前文提到的逻辑构建，段落展开，句子链接，都对以后的写作有很多帮助。
但是GRE写作毕竟时间有限，30分钟内写出的文章要求其实没有太高。对于例子的选取，语病和词汇误用都没有很苛刻。其它的写作中还要提高这些。

7. 如果让你回到一个月前，你会如何准备GRE作文？你觉得tesolchina的指导有哪些优点和不足之处？  
我会再在写句子上面下点工夫。考前几天愈发认识到自己阅读积累的太少，所以常写出别人看不懂的句子……如果有机会应当早些积累，模仿。另外，在计时写作中也需要练习控制时间，尽量留下一点自查的时间。
老师的指导优点真是太多了…… 不仅有体系化的学习框架让我们参考，而且还十分认真、及时地批改我们的文章。老师的修改不仅限于字句的问题，还常常指出的我段落组织、思路、例子选择、论述方式的问题。这些是收获非常大的！！已经给身边杀G的小伙伴推荐学习小组，只是不知道老师以后还会不会继续做这个…… 有更多人来参加的话，老师得多辛苦啊……
不足之处还没发现……真的已经在能做到的范围内做得非常好了……



3月14日小结

明天就要考了，在这里再写一次小结。其实早几天就该写的，可是临考又补verbal又看数学，都没有好好改作文，实在惭愧。最后一天写小结，是总结自己这段学习的收获，给其它要考的同学一点参考。也说不定为自己下次再考留点资料…… （啊啊真心希望不再考了……>_<……）

1、目前你写了哪几篇issue和argument的提纲或全文？
全文写了Issue 45 123 89 93 94 55 19; argument 97 20 132 54 78 15 41

2、你收到哪些老师和同学的反馈？这些反馈体现出的主要问题是什么？
收到王老师，Jin Huang，yongelectronic，ee_stone，Steven73，莲心~ 的反馈。

体现出的主要问题。

*******Argument
(1) 段内概括的问题，包括段首和段尾
We need more information about the nature of the food, the climate and other factors to assess how challenging it was for the two companies to control the pest in their respective warehouse.

(2) 情态动词的使用
The evidence could be that
… might have done…
could might would

(3) 非常明显的点不能漏过，相反，很多常常写的点并不需要写，要看原题中怎么叙述，是否强调了那一点。如study

(4) 当一个argument涉及到多个assumptions时，可以先叙述对应的argument，然后在同一段里面写出多个assumptions
It is assumed that wearing helmets has increased the risky behaviors of the bicyclists, thereby leading to more accidents. But we need to examine the assumption that bicyclists had felt safer while wearing the helmets... In addition, we also need to scrutinize the assumption that risky behaviors of the bicyclists are the main cause of the accidents. ...

*******Issue  
例子阐述不到位，不能和要点紧密相扣。有时叙述了很多无关紧要的东西，却没有扣住关键词。比如强调value的没有指出为什么有value，强调should的没有指出为什么应当，如发挥比较优势。

*******语言：
(1) 分号的使用
(2) 不要想当然写句子，很多表达是错误的
(3) 指代不明
(4) 语法错误，有句子里套句子的现象


3、你觉得你目前面临的主要问题和困难是什么？
思维和表达都是长期积累的过程。现在基本可以构架全文的框架，但是如何让每一段都扣准主题，每个例子都能最精炼并且准确的呈现，都还没有完全掌握。

4、接下来你打算如何准备，未来几天的安排如何？
还有最后半天多啦，自己再看看高频题，想想思路和提纲。同时看看自己练过的文章，老师的点评，回想一些自己写的和经老师修改后还算准确可以多用的句子。

5、论坛上关于G作文的帖子对你有哪些启发？
很感谢王老师的指导，和小伙伴们一同的努力。要不是这次加入这个小组，不知道自己会怎么瞎搞，做很多无用功…… 不过更大的收获是对于英文写作。感觉自己入门了，开始摸着一点写作的门道，知道自己的缺乏在哪里，知道如何可以提高。并且逐渐打破自己对于写作的畏惧和抵触心理。以后还会持续地积累并且练习。毕竟要用英文学习和研究，这项基础技能还是很重要的。


3月5日小结


1、目前你写了哪几篇issue和argument的提纲或全文？
因为时间紧迫，就没有自己写提纲了，只是把老师索引里指导、讨论过的提纲都看了一遍，了解了思路。
全文写了Issue 45 123 89; argument 97 20 132

2、你收到哪些老师和同学的反馈？这些反馈体现出的主要问题是什么？
收到王老师，yongelectronic，ee_stone，Steven73，莲心~ 的反馈。
体现出的主要问题：论证不够有力，段内逻辑不清晰，有时思路模糊。

3、你觉得你目前面临的主要问题和困难是什么？
不能很迅速地构建出复杂但清晰的全文逻辑框架。

4、接下来你打算如何准备，未来几天的安排如何？
接下来只有一周多一点的时间，打算继续计时练习全文。注重修改，且尝试把每次修改所收获的应用到下一次写作中。
再过一遍高频和自己觉得有难度的提纲，有问题的要再次思考并和老师、同学讨论。

5、论坛上关于G作文的帖子对你有哪些启发？
帮助非常大！虽然还没有亲身在考场上实验3+1的写作框架，但阅读这些框架提供了很多思考题目的新思路。关于写作最大的收获是以下两点：
1）学会思考整合的观点，这是之前没有注意过的。以前的文章常被native批评观点不够sharp，让我以为必须要写一边倒的issue话题才行。但是现在开始尝试提出自己的观点，而不是单纯的赞成、反对、2赞成1反对……
2）开始尝试统筹段落内部结构。逻辑严密的文章是每一句都前后照应，指向中心，逻辑顺畅，没有一句废话的。很想做到这点却一直不得法。通过学习老师的分析和自己练习，才发现要做到逻辑的严密，必须在下笔写每一段时，就把应当有几句话，每句写什么，几句之间什么关系，如何展开如何收尾了然于心。切忌想哪写哪。这是很大的收获，仍在努力实践。

tesolchinaUID??2191404

这里重点讨论一下不明觉弱的问题。没错这个词是我借用不明觉厉而编造出来的。说的是很多同学用英语写作时的一种陋习，就是凭自己的想象或者汉译英写一些语法正确但意思不清晰或者表达有问题的句子。由于我不明白你说什么但觉得你写的英语很弱，所以简称“不明觉弱”。这个标签对于部分在绝望中挣扎的G友来说或许是一种打击。

我先来具体解释一下不明觉弱问题的根源，然后提出可能的解决方案。

其实英语写作并不是随便按照语法规则堆砌英语单词就能做到的。写作的核心其实是一种社交活动，你面对的读者是一个群体，这个群体有传统与规则，尊重这些传统与规则，才能被读者接受。最简单的做法就是你写一个句子和表达之前，在自己的脑海里搜索一下自己有没有在地道的英语读物中见过这个表达，如果没有的话，这个表达就很可能有问题。

这是一个艰难的转型。很多跟我学作文的同学会出现提笔不敢写的情况，因为自己想到的任何表达都很难回想起在哪里见过。说白了就是读地道的英语太少。这个问题有办法解决么？短期来讲是没有的，3分党就认命吧，反正3分、3.5分拿offer的大有人在，包括哈佛的offer都有可能。

长远来讲，如果你打算在美国有所发展，利用准备GRE作文的契机提高自己的写作能力是值得考虑的。 我在寄托上其实就是守候那些愿意花时间学习GRE作文、摆脱3分党的精英。

至于具体如何解决不明觉弱，主要还是要靠阅读。其实读什么都没关系，关键是
1. 读的内容是自己感兴趣的或者和自己的工作有关的英语国家发表的作品
2. 读的过程中要关注一些你觉得有用的表述，摘抄下来，自己有机会写作时用

在这里再次推荐http://www.becker-posner-blog.com/

这个帖子或许可以用来累积一些 不明觉弱的例子  

The chief reason I vote for the resurrecting through supervisor is that we should infuse some new blood into the leadership.
All of these can avoid the rigidness in the government.

这两个例子分别涉及到如何提出支持某个观点的理由以及如何指出某件事可以避免某个不好的事情发生
这在issue中是经常出现的动作 或许可以根据这些动作来整理一些常见的句型和表达出来

wyd1582UID??3567163

1）你的英语基础达到了考GRE作文的要求么？如果你的托福作文还不到22分的话，很抱歉，这个小组不适合你。是的我托福作文过了门槛。
2）你愿意为GRE作文付出时间和精力么？如果你不能做到每天至少花15分钟写一个提纲，如果你没有时间在考前写出至少50个issue提纲、30个argument提纲以及30篇以上的全文，很抱歉，这个小组不适合你。 愿意，目前每天投入7小时备战GRE，同时兼顾学校课程。
3）你对我充分信任么？愿意虚心考虑我的建议么？你有没有花时间仔细看我的博客和范文？作为大学生，你肯定有自己的想法有自己的写作习惯甚至自视颇高。如果你不肯放弃你固有的写作模式，不肯接受我的指导、按我的指导来修改提纲，很抱歉，这个小组不适合你。仔细阅读了老师的博客和帖子，相信老师能够不负学生们的期望。
希望加入互改小组！希望能够坚持下来，也算是对自己的一种挑战！@@

tesolchinaUID??2191404

wyd1582 发表于 2015-4-1 20:46
1）你的英语基础达到了考GRE作文的要求么？如果你的托福作文还不到22分的话，很抱歉，这个小组不适合你。是 ...

谢谢关注 你大概什么时候考

sokillerUID??3446082

准备报名 如何算是进组呢？求指点！

wyd1582UID??3567163

tesolchina 发表于 2015-4-1 21:48
谢谢关注 你大概什么时候考

5.10考试，还有38天复习

tesolchinaUID??2191404

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


Outline

focus on whether the river could be crossed by people without any help: not so deep and broad; frozen in winter
discuss the possible bridges and boats which might not survive the time
explore the possibility of the baskets being carried by water  



According to this argument, the Palean baskets may have been made by people from areas other than Palea as the baskets have been found in the adjacent village. We need more evidence about geographical information of the area, the technologies of building boats and bridges and the characteristics of the baskets in order to evaluate the argument.  

While the author assumes that the baskets could only have been carried by boats which had not been found, there are other possible scenarios.  For example, maybe the river at the time was not as deep and broad as it is now.  If the river was shallow and narrow, people in Palea and Lithos could be trading baskets by walking across the river.  On the other hand, maybe the weather was extremely cold at the time and the river was frozen during the winter.  Again the people from the two villages could simply walk across the river to trade.  So we need more information about the geography and climate in the area at the time to assess how likely the scenarios discussed above were.  

We also need to know more about the technologies of Palean and Lithoian people at the time for building boats and bridges.  Specifically, we want to know whether they were able to build boats and bridges and if they could what materials they used.  Maybe they could build boats or bridges to cross the river but the materials they used could not survive the time and left no traces for archaeologists to locate.  The absence of any tangible traces of boats or bridges does not necessarily imply no boats or bridges were available then.  More information regarding these issues is needed.   

Another importance piece of evidence we need is the materials being used to make the baskets.  Specifically, we want to know whether the baskets could float in the water.  It is possible that some of the baskets had been dumped by Palean people to the river and carried by the water to the other side of the river and then picked up by Lithoian people. To assess how likely this scenario is, we need to know the density of the materials of the baskets along with some other physical characteristics.  

In conclusion, it is difficult to decide whether people from Lithos may have learned to make the baskets.  More information about different issues discussed above has to be gathered to assess the strength of the argument.  

25分钟




conclusion; Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean; other villages can produce similar baskets
key question: are the newly found baskets locally produced or transported from Palean

whether the river was that deep and broad at the time

boats from other villages? what materials were available for making boats; can they survive

possible bridge?

trading relationship?