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槭树下的夕熙UID: 3470225

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-20 23:41
题目也不抄怎么看啊

哦 忘了
"The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
""Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean.""
"

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

???? 還有後面的寫作要求呢  這個很重要啊

槭树下的夕熙UID: 3470225

The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

槭树下的夕熙UID: 3470225

老师，argument的攻击顺序是怎样的？？
按文章顺序？？好像不对
错误漏洞最大的？？---怎么看出来哪个漏洞最大？？
大前提错了，整个文章就错了，是不是就说大前提要摆在第一位写？？
那 提建议的文章，可以攻击他说  这个建议或许对，但不一定是最好的，blabla什么可以更好
这个一般放在文章第几位攻击？？

谢谢老师

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

槭树下的夕熙 发表于 2014-10-20 22:57
请王老师点评~~~
今天写的有点晚了，没有来得及自评，不过还是希望老师能帮我看一下
还有10天就考试了
...

从你的练习来看，你对于argument这类题的基本要求还没弄清楚 一些基本的写作套路也需要学习
建议你仔细看看这个帖子
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777374-1-1.html



The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


The author's argument is not convincing. Although it may be apparent that we should open a cafe which take the place of the children's book section to compete with Fegal Books, there are several aspects the recommender has failed to take into account.

注意这道题的要求是提出各种假设或前提，因此在开头段应该指出有哪几方面的假设需要检验。



To begin with, the argument is based on a wrong thought that opening a cafe is attractive for customers. It seems quite reasonable at the first glance. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. Perhaps the customers do not like or do not need a cafe in the Monarch Books. For instance, it may be more noisy and crowded because some people may come to the cafe for a rest or meeting their friends. Customers who read, choose or buy books in Monarch Books may be disrupted and annoyed. Moreover, maybe there is a quite popular cafe house near the Monarch Books. It is waste of money and space for them to have a new cafe in the book store. Unless all the aspects like above are proved to be unlikely and impossible, the assumption cannot be used to support the argument.

注意写argument不要轻易说谁对谁错 而应该说需要检查什么假设 如果假设不对就如何 假设对了又如何 这个是对这类题目的基本认识问题
你的任务时分析argument而不是做出猜测  Perhaps the customers do not like or do not need a cafe in the Monarch Books.



What is more, the recommender made a mistake that the children's book section will become less popular. It is lack of evidences. It may be true that the percentage of children under ten has dropped, but maybe the whole population is increasing which lead to a growing number of children. In addition, it is very likely that the population of children is increasing in this area but not in the whole country. The result of the national census is not convincing. To strengthen his argument, the author need to give more analysis and details to show the exact situation in this area.

Last but not least, the assumption is of short legitimacy because the author assumes that the Monarch Books is the optional choice.不明白你这句话在说什么
It is very possible that other approaches can be equally or even more worthwhile for getting a better result. For example, we can organize some activities like Reading Days to encourage people to read more books. We do not need to worry about the decorations, transportations of raw materials and even the salaries of the new staffs for the new cafe. What we need to do is to have a brilliant mind about the organization. What is more, we have no ideas whether Regal Books get benefits from its new cafe or not. Even if the cafe in the book store has been proved effective and valuable, it does not follow that the same conditions and situations in Regal Books will reappear in Monarch Books. The recommendation for a new cafe is a fallacious reasoning unless the author can rule out any other possibilities by providing persuasive evidences.

To sum up, this argument is lack of a more complete analysis. Much more work is needed by the Board of Directors of Monarch Books before making a decision to open the new cafe by discontinuing the children’s book section.

Amelia2014UID: 3570778

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-20 23:40
建议你先写提纲 1+3的英语句子 然后用汉语解释思路 思路没问题再写全文 否则有可能惨不忍睹

冒昧问下：1+3的英语句子  是什么？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Amelia2014 发表于 2014-10-22 16:43
冒昧问下：1+3的英语句子  是什么？

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777364-1-1.html

Amelia2014UID: 3570778

明白了，谢谢！
另外，有人说时间紧张的同学应该按照高频题目顺序写。但我找了几天都没找到近2年的高频。请问您有吗？

槭树下的夕熙UID: 3470225

The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

结论：By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
data：
1Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store.（Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe）
2Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline.
作者论证思路：
1.BB开了cafe，MB也应该开→MB可以和BB竞争
2.MB的cafe占得位置是原来children 书的部分
children少了（national 调查）→children书效量会低，不挣钱→cafe占这个位置没有关系，cafe挣钱


原文修改：
The author's argument is not convincing. According to the recommendation, the author assumes that the opening cafe is quite attractive and the children's book section is not necessary which suggents that opening cafe is a optimal choice competing with Book and Bean. However, there are several aspects the recommender has failed to take into account.

红色修改部分，提出了作者的假设，指出这些假设有问题


我自己原来文章的思路：
1反驳大前提  cafe是有吸引力的（可能cafe没有吸引力（举例），原文的一系列论证都站不住脚了）
2反驳论据 national survey    national的不能推出当地情况
3. 就算cafe好，children少了（就算1.2.论证是对的）        开cafe  可能不是最优选择，可能有别的更能挣钱


我仔细阅读了老师的那篇文章
有一些地方不太懂，
例如
讨论
1.天气对热油需求的影响：假设了低于正常的气温就一定需要大量烧油、天气预报是准确的、天气在几年后还会这么冷
2. 人口、新房和替代能源对热油需求的影响：假设新房一定能建成不会烂尾、建成一定卖得出有人住、新房一定烧油而不用替代能源、新房不会用隔热材料保暖
3. 是否投资CI的其他因素：假设CI的零售业务是盈利的（热油成本不会涨）；假设CI的非主要业务没有亏本；假设CI的投资回报率高于其他可供选择的投资项目

这些一一对应的我懂，但是具体文章怎么写呢？  具体写的时候，要反驳不是还是要举反例吗？  假设。。。就一定。。。
具体写的时候  不是应该写  低于正常的气温也不一定要大量烧油 有可能blabla
argument不是应该先说明这样的逻辑链有问题，怎么有问题，然后举反例吗

具体写的时候，每一个论点（反驳点）怎么安排顺序？？先反驳哪个？？


修改后的提纲：
1.BB开了cafe，MB也应该开→MB可以和BB竞争  错
BB的情况不一定会在MB重现
举例  原材料，运输。。


2.MB的cafe占得位置是原来children 书的部分
children少了（national 调查）→children书效量会低，不挣钱→cafe占这个位置没有关系，cafe挣钱

survey有问题（我原来的第二论证段）



具体怎么写我还是不太清楚
希望老师可以帮我解答一下，我都是一个一个字敲上去的 花了一晚上  看着倒计时 心都颤~~~~

这篇文章老师有范文么

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

槭树下的夕熙 发表于 2014-10-22 21:48
The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its opening  ...

The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

结论：By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
data：
1Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store.（Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe）
2Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline.
作者论证思路：
1.BB开了cafe，MB也应该开→MB可以和BB竞争
2.MB的cafe占得位置是原来children 书的部分
children少了（national 调查）→children书效量会低，不挣钱→cafe占这个位置没有关系，cafe挣钱

嗯 你尝试按照Toulmin的模型来分析argument是不错的  这里可以重新梳理一下

claim By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
data "Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects.
data Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store.
data Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline.
warrant the new competitor offers cafe; to deal with the new competition, Monarch should also have cafe
warrent population of children decline proportionately; therefore, the demand of children’s books declines; no need to have children’s section

写这类assumption的题目的关键是要不断围绕在assumption来写






原文修改：
The author's argument is not convincing. According to the recommendation, the author assumes that the opening cafe is quite attractive and the children's book section is not necessary which suggents that opening cafe is a optimal choice competing with Book and Bean. However, there are several aspects the recommender has failed to take into account.  

我建议你argument第一段这么写

首先概括argument的结论以及主要的证据
然后指出哪几方面的assumption需要进一步的验证  
注意你的任务不是要驳斥原论证 而是要指出需要检验哪些assumption 因此你这段开头结尾两句都不太合适
另外 你在文中大量使用We 这个是不可取的 因为你的角度是一个旁观者 而不是Monarch决策层  





红色修改部分，提出了作者的假设，指出这些假设有问题


我自己原来文章的思路：
1反驳大前提  cafe是有吸引力的（可能cafe没有吸引力（举例），原文的一系列论证都站不住脚了）
2反驳论据 national survey    national的不能推出当地情况
3. 就算cafe好，children少了（就算1.2.论证是对的）        开cafe  可能不是最优选择，可能有别的更能挣钱


你的思路基本没问题 但是没有围绕假设来写  
其实假设是很多的 但是你要考虑如何分作三段来讨论

或许你可以从以下三方面讨论
当地儿童人口问题
影响儿童书籍的其他因素
咖啡吧的吸引力与竞争力问题  








我仔细阅读了老师的那篇文章
有一些地方不太懂，
例如
讨论
1.天气对热油需求的影响：假设了低于正常的气温就一定需要大量烧油、天气预报是准确的、天气在几年后还会这么冷
2. 人口、新房和替代能源对热油需求的影响：假设新房一定能建成不会烂尾、建成一定卖得出有人住、新房一定烧油而不用替代能源、新房不会用隔热材料保暖
3. 是否投资CI的其他因素：假设CI的零售业务是盈利的（热油成本不会涨）；假设CI的非主要业务没有亏本；假设CI的投资回报率高于其他可供选择的投资项目

这些一一对应的我懂，但是具体文章怎么写呢？  具体写的时候，要反驳不是还是要举反例吗？  假设。。。就一定。。。
具体写的时候  不是应该写  低于正常的气温也不一定要大量烧油 有可能blabla
argument不是应该先说明这样的逻辑链有问题，怎么有问题，然后举反例吗

具体写的时候，每一个论点（反驳点）怎么安排顺序？？先反驳哪个？？


我觉得你还是在用老G的思维 现在不是要你反驳 而是要你讨论假设
或者提出需要回答的问题 或者需要哪方面的证据  

https://www.evernote.com/shard/s ... 69d30b41e2b6b80967b
这篇我很早以前写的 你可以看看

如果是assumption其实就是换个说法

The business manager argues that the sales of children’s books will decline because the national survey suggests that the number of children will decrease. It is assumed here that the results of national survey can accurately reflect the local situation of … (town). 然后接下来提出某种这个假设不成立的可能性，注意只是可能不成立，也有可能成立
In addition, it is also assumed that the demand for children’s books will necessarily decrease as a result of the population change.  这里就可以讨论影响童书需求的其他因素，从而指出这个假设也未必成立

max940623UID: 3559548

请问王老师，我刚好大约四周后考试，A提纲写了五六篇全文写了两，I还没动过。可以加入您的联系小组吗

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

max940623 发表于 2014-10-26 15:28
请问王老师，我刚好大约四周后考试，A提纲写了五六篇全文写了两，I还没动过。可以加入您的联系小组吗

如果你能每天写一个提纲坚持一星期就很好了 目前大部分组员都做不到

槭树下的夕熙UID: 3470225

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-22 23:31
The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its openin ...

“首先概括argument的结论以及主要的证据
然后指出哪几方面的assumption需要进一步的验证  
注意你的任务不是要驳斥原论证 而是要指出需要检验哪些assumption 因此你这段开头结尾两句都不太合适
另外 你在文中大量使用We 这个是不可取的 因为你的角度是一个旁观者 而不是Monarch决策层 ”

这一段就概括全文? （我看的OG范文好像不是这样的）
the author assumes that the opening cafe is quite attractive and the children's book section is not necessary which suggents that opening cafe is a optimal choice competing with Book and Bean.
这一句是说的assume的问题啊  

作者assume 了。。。。     这些有问题        这不就是   “指出需要检验哪些assumption”？？



如何为    没有围绕假设来写  
如果每一段指出  作者假设了什么   推出了什么结论（逻辑链）

我需要写
这假设有问题。。。          还是       逻辑推理有问题？？


觉得你还是在用老G的思维 现在不是要你反驳 而是要你讨论假设
或者提出需要回答的问题 或者需要哪方面的证据

这个我似乎懂了



老师   我现在分析材料 再列提纲的时候  会按照你说的  那个模型  data 结论  论证思路 想

写的时候  讨论假设 或者提出需要回答的问题 或者需要哪方面的证据    会在每一段提出  然后分析逻辑链的漏洞

这样做对吗？？

槭树下的夕熙UID: 3470225

老师，argument的攻击顺序是怎样的？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

槭树下的夕熙 发表于 2014-10-27 22:21
“首先概括argument的结论以及主要的证据
然后指出哪几方面的assumption需要进一步的验证  
注意你的任 ...

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777232-1-1.html
你看一下这几篇 有什么具体问题再问我吧

43楼: Argument 32 示范
50楼: Argument 51 示范
56楼：Argument 3示范