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[优秀习作] issue10 政府对于大城市的基金问题 [复制链接]

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发表于 2004-3-28 15:01:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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发表于 2004-3-28 18:13:29 |只看该作者
Should government input financial support mainly to the cities in order to ensure their nation’s cultural traditions to be well preserved and generated(应该是protected and preserved). I am inclined to argue that the rural area(areas) of nation deserve more attention from the government!

First of all, in the history, cities appears after the appearance of the rural, so the traditions in the cities are derived from those in the rural, that is to say, the rural is the root of all the traditions. What is more, due to the impact of globalization, the cities of the world are being homogenized; ad(as) a consequence, a nation's culture traditions might be better preserved and generated in the rural where exotic influence hasn't took so much place yet. Take Chinese Naba festival for example, it is originally a festival to memorize some famous monk in the southern part of China(最好说明是农村), now it is seldom for us to see people celebrate this festival in the cities, but in the rural this festival still maintains. And we know, handing embroils a kind of woman's handworks in the old China, only in some southern rural can we find and buy(pursue) some of them.

Second, due to the highly advanced economy, cities can accumulate some fund by itself(themselves) without financial support from government. And undue support from the government can only result in that over reliance on the support of the government, which will controversially lead to the underestimation and even ignorance to the importance of protection and generation of the culture tradition.(可以展开点说一下,有点不太明白) In contrast, the rural are in the poverty and some may even in the trouble of survival of a nation's tradition just because of lack of money(感觉这句话好象没有说,前面说poverty,后面又来lack of money). What a pity it will be if our culture traditions handed from our ancestors disappear !(用感叹句的想法不错,不过这句话写得好象有点别扭,我也没有想到怎么改好)

Nevertheless, admitted that ,(Admittedly,) there are also some major cities that are characterized by their long history and culture traditions, which should be pay special attention to the perseverance of the places of interest(,) which will do(make) a great contribution to the overall economics of that country. One need no further look than Beijing-- the capital city of China. Chinese government has exerted great human recourse as well as great amounts of money on them, which in retune(in turn) boost the tourism. (最好说一下北京文化传统,老外可不知道那一定很有文化)

To sum up, we can obviously draw the conclusion that the government should ensure that their rural receive the majority(of) financial support they need to preserve and generate the culture traditions. But to some other major cities supporting prosper their tradition will exceed their financial ability(abilities), at this time the government should give a hand.
整体结构把握得很好,语言也还不错,很流畅。不足上面都指出来了。
水平有限,恕我胡言。
有空你也帮我看看吧。下面是连接:
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread....threadid=177607
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread....threadid=177605
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=177744
我只爱我的猪猪,
猪猪说一,俺绝不说1。01,
猪猪让俺朝东,俺连东偏一点点。。。西都不朝,不,什么叫西,俺连想都不想:除了东,难道还有其他方向吗

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板凳
发表于 2004-3-30 19:19:15 |只看该作者
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地板
发表于 2004-3-30 21:44:31 |只看该作者
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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2004-3-31 12:51:34 |只看该作者
issue10 "Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

Should government input financial support mainly to the cities in order to ensure their nation’s cultural traditions to be well preserved and generated{?inherited}. I am inclined to argue that the rural area{s} of nation deserve more attention from the government!很清楚提出支持农村。

First of all, in the history, cities appears after the appearance of the rural, so the traditions in the cities are derived from those in the rural, that is to say, the rural is the root of all the traditions{传统起源于农村,后面讲城市全球化了,农村还有,这样的话,不如前面不要,直接用what is more 为TS是好一些,因为给我的感觉是两个观点,第一个没developing,这个很危险}. What is more, due to the impact of globalization, the cities of the world are being homogenized; ad a consequence, a nation's culture traditions might be better preserved and generated in the rural where exotic influence hasn't took so much place yet. Take Chinese Naba festival for example, it is originally a festival to memorize some famous monk in the southern part of China, now it is seldom for us to see people celebrate this festival in the cities, but in the rural this festival still maintains. And we know, handing embroils a kind of woman's handworks in the old China, only in some southern rural can we find and buy some of them.{通过对比说明文化-农村-好,合理}

Second, due to the highly advanced economy, cities can accumulate some fund by itself without financial support from government.{在此对比论证,说明农村的必要性,但是我想TS中最好体现出来,然后再specifically speaking} And undue support from the government can only result in that over reliance on the support of the government, which will controversially lead to the underestimation and even ignorance to the importance of protection and generation of the culture tradition. In contrast, the rural are in the poverty and some may even in the trouble of survival of a nation's tradition just because of lack of money. What a pity it will be if our culture traditions handed from our ancestors disappear !

Nevertheless, admitted that , there are also some major cities that are characterized by their long history and culture traditions, which should be pay special attention to the perseverance of the places of interest which will do a great contribution to the overall economics of that country. One need no further look than Beijing-- the capital city of China. Chinese government has exerted great human recourse as well as great amounts of money on them, which in retune boost the tourism. [让步,承认有些城市也需要保存,合理]

To sum up, we can obviously draw the conclusion that the government should ensure that their rural receive the majority financial support they need to preserve and generate the culture traditions. But to some other major cities supporting prosper their tradition will exceed their financial ability, at this time the government should give a [help]hand.
总之,文章很流利,没有甚大的问题,只是调整 一下结构,突出每段的TS,个人意见,仅供参考。欢迎继续讨论
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发表于 2004-3-31 13:13:00 |只看该作者
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发表于 2004-3-31 19:57:58 |只看该作者
issue10 "Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

Should government input financial support mainly to the cities in order to ensure their nation’s cultural traditions to be well preserved and generated. I am inclined to argue that the rural areas of nation deserve more attention from the government!

First of all, in the history, cities appears after the appearance of the rural, so the traditions in the cities are derived from those in the rural, that is to say, the rural is the root of all the traditions.(? 根据呢?太武断了吧。农村-城市-国家。国家的传统就一定来自农村?) What is more, due to the impact of globalization, the cities of the world are being homogenized; as a consequence, a nation's culture traditions might be better preserved and generated in the rural where exotic influence hasn't took so much place yet. Take Chinese Naba festival for example, it is originally a festival to memorize some famous monk in the southern part of China, now it is seldom for us to see people celebrate this festival in the cities, but in the rural this festival still maintains. And we know, handing embroils a kind of woman's handworks in the old China, only in some southern rural can we find and buy some of them.(例子很好)

Second, due to the highly advanced economy, cities can accumulate some fund by itself without financial support from government.(? unfounded assumption!) And undue support from the government can only result in that over reliance(怎么全是毫无根据的想法啊) on the support of the government, which will controversially lead to the underestimation and even ignorance to the importance of protection and generation of the culture tradition. In contrast, the rural are in the poverty and some may even in the trouble of survival of a nation's tradition just because of lack of money. What a pity it will be if our culture traditions handed from our ancestors disappear !(城市一定有钱,农村一定没钱?)

Nevertheless, admitted that there are also some major cities that are characterized by their long history and culture traditions, which should be pay special attention to the perseverance of the places of interest which will do a great contribution to the overall economics of that country. One need no further look than Beijing-- the capital city of China. Chinese government has exerted great human recourse as well as great amounts of money on them, which in retune boost the tourism. (结尾总结?)

To sum up, we can obviously draw the conclusion that the government should ensure that their rural receive the majority financial support they need to preserve and generate the culture traditions. But to some other major cities supporting prosper their tradition will exceed their financial ability, at this time the government should give a hand.
曾经沧海难为水
除却巫山不是云

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发表于 2004-3-31 21:14:09 |只看该作者
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RE: issue10 政府对于大城市的基金问题 [修改]

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issue10 政府对于大城市的基金问题
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