Issue196 科技是在解决问题还是在制造麻烦？

springyUID: 122511

因为工作超级忙碌，好几天没能看我的作文，生日那天又偷了一把懒。后果是作文生疏了不少。痛心疾首中，还觉得对不起诸位帮我批改作文的朋友。今天终于回归了！希望还能挽回点什么。只有10天了！
Issue196
"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

Nowadays the scientific technology is getting to permeate into our lives more and more deeply, and we depend on them so much that we cannot imagine what would be happen if we lost the help of modern scientific technology. But at the same time we have experienced many new problems, which are generated from applying high technology. Is the scientific technology a troublemaker or a trouble-shooter? Does it create more problems than it solves and does it really threaten or damage the quality of life? To this question, I stick to the belief that technologies really benefit our society, and the problems mainly generate from wrong use and abusing of technology.

Great changes, almost unbelievable, have taken place constantly since three industrial tides happened. Hundreds of years ago, one may spend several weeks to travel from east bank of Pacific Ocean to west bank, but now the trip would take several hours by plane. Hundreds of years ago, the cultural communication among different countries and nationalities is seldom and disconnected, but today the news of Iraq Wars spreads over the world quickly as soon as the first bomb broke out, so it is said by some means that the earth is becoming a village through the strong mass media. Hundred of years ago, most kinds of bacteria diseases were viewed as incurable, and the sufferers had to do nothing except being isolated and waiting for death, but now most sufferers can walk out of the hospital with smile after the discovery of antibiotics. Technology brings our society convenience, safety and progress, helps us enjoy life in high quality.

Just as a sword has two blades, technology seems brings our society negative influences too. When we consider the Atom Crisis, the Cloning, the Network Crime and the high employment rate, we feel upset and anxious. But can we ascribe all these troubles to technology? Is there any duties generate from us? In my opinion, misusing and abusing technology lead to all above negative results. Albert Einstein’s great Relative Theory opened the door to the way of discovery the atomic energy, and in the following days, scientists as Einstein wanted to apply the atomic energy to improving people's lives. But when the great discovery was applied to make the weapons, the dangerous aftermath appears. The abusing of atomic energy would lead to the whole world destroy, although all righteous atom physics scientist don't like the result. Same as Atom Crisis, the cloning technology is applied to make usable apparatus for saving some dying patients, but when the technology is applied to clone human, many moral crisis create. In fact, the technology is innocent itself, and the way by which people apply them is just the key. Technology benefits people if we use it in right way, but harms people if we use it in evil way.

In the sum, technology creates more progress than problems for the society, and it is changing the world in marvelous speed now. Although the technology brings the world problems, finally the problems come from people who grasp the technology. In order to decrease the threatening and damages, the only settling way is using the technology in right direction. We believe it is a trouble-shooter, not a troublemaker in our growing world.

SRVUID: 157299

springy啊，你发的也太晚了我都要睡觉了，明天再拜读你的文章吧，我也还有11天了，专业课考试3天没看，呵呵，今天写了一篇限时完成的，还挺高兴，你要加油哦

SRVUID: 157299

Issue196
"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

Nowadays the scientific technology is getting to permeate（好词！） into our lives more and more deeply, and we depend on them so much that we cannot imagine what would be happen if we lost the help of modern scientific technology. But at the same time we have experienced many new problems, which are generated from applying high technology. Is the scientific technology a troublemaker or a trouble-shooter? Does it create more problems than it solves and does it really threaten or damage the quality of life? To this question, I stick to the belief that technologies really benefit our society, and the problems mainly generate from wrong use and abusing of technology.开头虽然长了点，但我觉得还是写的很好的

Great changes, almost unbelievable, have taken place constantly since three industrial tides happened. Hundreds of years ago, one may spend several weeks to travel from east bank of Pacific Ocean to west bank, but now the trip would take several hours by plane. Hundreds of years ago, the cultural communication among different countries and nationalities is seldom （这个是副词不是形容词）and disconnected, but today the news of Iraq Wars spreads over the world quickly as soon as the first bomb broke out, so it is said by some means that the earth is becoming a village through the strong mass media. Hundred of years ago, most kinds of bacteria diseases were viewed as incurable, and the sufferers had to do nothing except being isolated and waiting for death, but now most sufferers can walk out of the hospital with smile after the discovery of antibiotics. Technology brings our society convenience, safety and progress, helps us enjoy life in high quality.科技改善生活！三个例子，不过例子之间应该加些过渡词好一些吧

Just as a sword has two blades（帅！）, technology seems（seem to固定用法，后边不能直接加动词吧） brings our society negative influences too. When we consider the Atom Crisis, the Cloning, the Network Crime and the high employment （unemployment吧？）rate, we feel upset and anxious. But can we ascribe （好词！收藏！）all these troubles to technology? Is there any duties generate from us? In my opinion, misusing and abusing technology lead to all above negative results.（这里的结构可以改动一下，后面你的观点的句子放到句首，比较鲜明） Albert Einstein’s great Relative Theory (相对论不是研究时间和空间的吗？应该是他的量子物理理论吧，我大物没学好，有待考究)opened the door to the way of discovery the atomic energy, and in the following days, scientists as Einstein wanted to apply the atomic energy to improving people's lives. But when the great discovery was applied to make the weapons, the dangerous aftermath appears（过去式）. The abusing of atomic energy would lead to the whole world destroy（被动语态）, although all righteous atom physics scientist don't like the result. Same as Atom Crisis, the cloning technology is applied to make usable apparatus for saving some dying patients, but when the technology is applied to clone human, many moral crisis create（应该用被动语态吧？）. In fact, the technology is innocent itself, and the way by which people apply them is just the key. Technology benefits people if we use it in right way, but harms people if we use it in evil way.

In the sum, technology creates more progress than problems for the society, and it is changing the world in marvelous speed now. Although the technology brings the world problems, finally the problems come from people who grasp the technology. In order to decrease the threatening and damages, the only settling way is using the technology in right direction. We believe it is a trouble-shooter, not a troublemaker in our growing world.

文章写的挺好的，每次看你作文都收集很多词汇，呵呵，佩服springy用词水平！部分小错误需要再改改，你开始限时写了吗？我也开始冲刺了11天！一起加油！

springyUID: 122511

seldom,seem to还有量子物理理论，你指出的意见很对，谢谢！我这篇没有限时，不过开始不用金山词霸了，所以没有用自己不熟悉的词汇。今天晚上打算开始限时第一篇。还有我的argu还没有开始呢！过分阿！努力！抵制所有的诱惑！

rebecca1983UID: 149834

推荐一篇文章吧。记得是复旦大学出的一本英语专业的精读课本第二册有一篇题目为the egg的文章，谁写的忘记了（谁叫咱上二专课从来都在背单词呢）。他的观点是technology is trouble-maker。

rebecca1983UID: 149834

Same as Atom Crisis, the cloning technology is applied to make usable apparatus（是器官组织的意思吗？organs?) for saving some dying patients,
springy的词汇量真是让人佩服呀！

springyUID: 122511

欧，其实这个词是自己比较有印象的，但是不太会拼，所以当时查了一下。不过我觉得用organ更好啊！可惜当时写的时候并没有想到用这样的好词。 by the way，我并不认为用生词多就是好事，因为我其实并不太熟悉他们的用法，不过奇怪的是很多简单的好词我反而很难反应出来。你说的那个文章有没有电子版阿？我已经工作，找这种复旦的书太困难了。介绍一个连接也好。谢谢了。

dezhiUID: 156141

Issue196
"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

Nowadays the scientific technology is getting to permeate into our lives more and more deeply, and we depend on them so much that we cannot imagine what would be多余，去掉 happen if we lost the help of modern scientific technology. But at the same time we have experienced many new problems, which are generated from applying high technology有些罗嗦，直接new problems caused by high technology如何？. Is the scientific technology a troublemaker or a trouble-shooter? Does it create more problems than it solves and does it really threaten or damage the quality of life? To answer this question, I stick to the belief that technologies really benefit our society, and the problems mainly generate from wrong use and abusing of technology.
首段写得不错！

Great changes, almost unbelievable, have taken place constantly since three 是否该用the third？ industrial tides happened. Hundreds of years ago, one may spend several weeks to travel from east bank of Pacific Ocean to west bank, but now the trip would take several hours by plane. Hundreds of years ago, the cultural communication among different countries and nationalities is seldom and disconnected, but today the news of Iraq Wars spreads over the world quickly as soon as the first bomb broke out, so it is said by some means that the earth is becoming a village through the strong mass media. Hundred of years ago, most kinds of bacteria diseases were viewed as incurable, and the sufferers had to do nothing had nothing to do but be isolated？ except being isolated and waiting for death, but now most sufferers can walk out of the hospital with a smile after the discovery of antibiotics. Technology brings to our society convenience, safety and progress, and helps us enjoy life in high quality enjoy a high-quality life如何？.
这个body的例子描述的很生动，很有感染力，不错

Just as a sword has two blades Like a two-edged sword也行, technology seems brings our society 前面不对，应该是：seems to bring to our society negative influences too. When we consider the Atom Crisis, the Cloning, the Network Crime and the high employment 是不是说反了？ rate, we feel upset and anxious. But can we ascribe all these troubles to technology? Is there any duties that generate from us? In my opinion, misusing and abusing technology lead to all of the above negative results 或者说all negative results above.此句可用强调句，效果更好 Albert Einstein’s great Relative Theory opened the door to the way of discovery of the atomic energy, and in the following days, scientists as Einstein wanted to apply the atomic energy to improving people's lives. But when the great discovery was applied to make the weapons, the dangerous aftermath appears appeared. The abusing of atomic energy would lead to the whole world destroy 有问题，lead to the destruction of the whole world如何？, although all righteous atom physics scientists don't like the result. Same as Atom Crisis, the cloning technology is applied to make usable apparatus for saving some dying patients, but when the technology is applied to clone human, many moral crisis create create是主动词呀，用appear如何？. In fact, the technology is innocent itself, and the way by which people apply them is just the key. Technology benefits people if we use it in right way, but harms people if we use it in evil way.
我觉得例子不错，但论述的不是太好，有些句子经不起推敲

In the sum 是in sum吧？, technology creates more progress than problems for the society, and it is changing the world in marvelous speed now. Although the technology brings to the world problems, finally the problems come from people who grasp the technology 掌握技术就会带来问题吗？应该是掌握技术，并将技术用于evil目的的人. In order to decrease the threatening and damages, the only settling way is using the technology in the right direction. We believe it is a trouble-shooter, not a troublemaker in our growing world.
最后这个段落是不是有些散？可以合并一下，再调整一下语序，呵呵

dezhiUID: 156141

写得挺好，不过有些固定搭配用得不是太熟练，有些句子写得稍显罗嗦
另外，正文还是写三个段落好一些吧？不知道你的字数是多少，呵呵
楼主好像和我一天考，SRV也只再晚一天，rebecca1983时间还充足一些，呵呵，大家共同努力:)

springyUID: 122511

谢谢dezhi，我觉得你改的很好。看得出你对英语的应用能力比我强！你指出的几个错误我发现正是我的软肋。我这篇文章约560字，一般来说，我觉得我只能想到两个方面的内容的话，我就只写两段，虽然这样字数不多，但是我怕第三段因为拼凑的关系弄得很散乱。另外就是结尾，结为和开头都是令我头疼不已的东西。我担心在考试中我也会写到最后因为时间关系草草收尾，反而削弱整篇文章的力量。

PhoebuswangUID: 158473

Issue196
"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

Nowadays the scientific technology is getting to permeate into our lives more and more deeply, and we depend on them so much that we cannot imagine what would be happen if we lost the help of modern scientific technology. But at the same time we have experienced many new problems, which are generated from applying high technology. Is the scientific technology a troublemaker or a trouble-shooter? Does it create more problems than it solves and does it really threaten or damage the quality of life? To this question, I stick to the belief that technologies really benefit our society, and the problems mainly generate from wrong use and abusing of technology.(开头写的不错）

Great changes, almost unbelievable, have taken place constantly since three industrial tides happened. Hundreds of years ago, one may spend several weeks to travel from east bank of Pacific Ocean to west bank, but now the trip would take several hours by plane. Hundreds of years ago, the cultural communication among different countries and nationalities is seldom and disconnected, but today the news of Iraq Wars spreads over the world quickly as soon as the first bomb broke out, so it is said by some means that the earth is becoming a village through the strong mass media.（应该是通信科技而不是媒体吧） Hundred of years ago, most kinds of bacteria diseases were viewed as incurable, and the sufferers had to do nothing except being isolated and waiting for death, but now most sufferers can walk out of the hospital with smile after the discovery of antibiotics. Technology brings our society convenience, safety and progress, helps us enjoy life in high quality.（中间写的娓娓道来，不错）

Just as a sword has two blades, technology seems brings our society negative influences too. When we consider the Atom Crisis, the Cloning, the Network Crime and the high employment rate（高就业率？？因该是UNEMPLOYMENT吧）, we feel upset and anxious. But can we ascribe all these troubles to technology? Is there any duties generate from us? In my opinion, misusing and abusing technology lead to all above negative results. Albert Einstein’s great Relative Theory opened the door to the way of discovery the atomic energy, and in the following days, scientists as Einstein wanted to apply the atomic energy to improving people's lives. But when the great discovery was applied to make the weapons, the dangerous aftermath appears. The abusing of atomic energy would lead to the whole world destroy, although all righteous atom physics scientist don't like the result. Same as Atom Crisis, the cloning technology is applied to make usable apparatus（ORGAN） for saving some dying patients, but when the technology is applied to clone human, many moral crisis create. In fact, the technology is innocent itself, and the way by which people apply them is just the key. Technology benefits people if we use it in right way, but harms people if we use it in evil way.

In the sum, technology creates more progress than problems for the society, and it is changing the world in marvelous speed now. Although the technology brings the world problems, finally the problems come from people who grasp the technology.（这句话和主题矛盾了） In order to decrease the threatening and damages, the only settling way is using the technology in right direction. We believe it is a trouble-shooter, not a troublemaker in our growing world.



总体来说，结构和内容都不错，比较正确的说明了自己的观点，再接再厉

我的作文  https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=178090

springyUID: 122511

抱歉阿，我不是故意刷贴，操作失误，把修改别人的帖子贴在自己的后面了。只好又改过来。
楼上的，我帮你改了。你去看看：）不过读得很吃力，因为生词太多了。