Argument 75 price regulation for milk to ensure fair prices for consumers

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周六考试前写下的最后两篇大纲之二，还请王老师批改，多谢！另外请将本帖子的链接加入到argument练习帖目录中，谢谢！周五还要交一篇论文，这两天得赶了，实在没时间写新的大纲了。还没写的题目就只有看老师与前辈们讨论的帖子，积累一下思路。

1 抄题

75. The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure fair prices for consumers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

zsczslUID: 2888426

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure fair prices for consumers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


2 列出argument的结论和主要证据
claim或结论：Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure fair prices for consumers.

证据01 The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago.   
证据02 During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon.
证据03 To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk,

3写第一段
写第一段的第一部分不包括主旨句
In this letter, the author suggests the government of Batavia should limit the prices of retail milk and claims that such policy is essential for customers to enjoy a reasonable price. To buttress her conclusion, she cites a report of Batavia agriculture department on the number of dairy farms in this nation, the milk price at the local Excello Food Market, and assumes that the supply of milk has risen and the farmers are earning extra money.  
写第一段的第二部分-主旨句
To evaluate the effectiveness of the advice, readers need the responses for the questions about the average quantity of milk produced on each dairy farm, the representativeness of the Excello milk price, the total demand of milk in this country and what the dairy farmers’ real profit level is.

我感觉你在总结几方面的时候过于具体了 这样对你后面的讨论带来了不必要的限制
感觉这篇可以问 为什么价格会上升、为什么农场数量会增加以及其他影响利润的因素这三方面来讨论比较好
如果有时间还可以讨论管制价格的后果  



4 写出中间段的主题句（英语）用汉语解释主要讨论的点
中间第一段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 （系统列出题目的主要句子供选择）
The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago.
输入这段要处理的主要question
First of all, the author had better answer the question what is the mean production of milk on every dairy farm if she wants to convince the reader.  作者假设牛奶总产量增加了，那么每个农场的平均产奶量要么保持不变，要么至少不能减到原来的1/1.25 以下。
写出相关的其他可能性
否则，虽然奶场的数量增加了，而每个奶场的规模却减小了，平均产量下降到原来的1/1.25 以下，那么全国总产量还是减少了。
写出这种可能性的后果
根据供求关系决定价格的原理，如果全国总需求保持不变的话，那么牛奶价格升高属于正常现象。

如果这里是讨论为什么农场数量增加的话
你讨论的规模和产量就是其中一个因素
然后还可以问是不是因为利润比较好 或者高的不合理 而导致数量增加




中间第二段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 （系统列出题目的主要句子供选择）
During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon.
输入这段要处理的主要question
The next question which readers should consider is whether the local Excello Food Market milk price can represent the national milk price.如果答案是肯定的话，作者说这个市场的牛奶价格十年内翻倍，也就能说明全国奶价普遍翻倍。
写出相关的其他可能性
可是答案也可能是Excello Food Market改变了营销策略，过去是面向一般大众，而现在进行了精装修，专为高端客户服务，精选优质奶源，贵一点也合情合理。而其它市场却没有经过这样的改变。
写出这种可能性的后果
那么该市场的奶价不能代表全国奶价，作者对于全国奶价上涨的判断不成立。

Excello Food Market这个应该不是一个企业而是指当地市场吧？

local不能代表national这个点不错

或许你也可以讨论一下通胀的因素


中间第三段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 （系统列出题目的主要句子供选择）
To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk
输入这段要处理的主要question
Even if the overall supply of milk in this nation has truly increased and the milk prices have really augmented during the past ten years, the arguer should answer whether the national demand of milk has ascended more substantially. 如果答案是否定的，那么按照供求关系决定价格的规律，价格上升就不合理，政府应该调控。
写出相关的其他可能性
要是答案为肯定，那么价格上升就合理了。
写出这种可能性的后果
价格本来就公平，无须调控。

我觉得这里直接问是否存在excessive profit
也许是成本上涨包括运输环节的成本  
是否存在不正当竞争




中间第四段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 （系统列出题目的主要句子供选择）
To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk.
输入这段要处理的主要question
Finally, the readers need the response to the question what the real level of dairy farmers’ profits is.  作者指出由于牛奶产量和价格都上升了，目前农场主的利润太高，因此不合理，奶价需要调整。
写出相关的其他可能性
然而要是在这十年中，运行农场的成本，如给牛吃的草料（forage）价格、挤奶工（dairyman）的工资等上涨的幅度更大，使农场主的利润空间反而缩小了，
写出这种可能性的后果
那么目前价格反而是对农场主不利的，政府更不能限价了。


和上一段可以合并


另外可以讨论一下政府regulate price的可行性 比如是否具有这种权力 会否遭到反对 会否导致供求不平衡 等等

我在189楼写了一篇 请参考

#feedback_simon

wawaGREUID: 3498913

我来顶一下！！！顺便问问同学，现在寄托还有写作互改小组吗？我找不到了。  如果没有互改小组的话，互改的方式就像你发帖这样吗？我也是下周六就考试啦到现在还不知道该怎么互改好着急希望小伙伴帮帮忙。。。我看了新人超级入口，但没有找到近期的互改小组

zsczslUID: 2888426

wawaGRE 发表于 2015-1-14 03:40
我来顶一下！！！顺便问问同学，现在寄托还有写作互改小组吗？我找不到了。  如果没有互改小组的话，互改的 ...

你好，谢谢支持。

以下是我所在的写作互改小组链接，请点击加入吧，不用谢！:handshake
http://group.gter.net/index/show/gid/144.html

ee_stoneUID: 3573213

75. The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure fair prices for consumers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段
In the letter, the editor pushed the government to regulate the milk prices to protect consumers and prevent  farms from making too much money. The argument is based on the increased number of dairy farms and the increased milk prices in the same time period. However, to consolidate the argument, some questions should be answered on the average amount of milk production for each farm,  the cost of milk production and the extra milk supplier in these ten years.

1
The first question to answer is how the average amount of milk production for each farm changes throughout the ten years. With the answer to this question, we can further confirm the milk supply is increasing as stated. There are chances that the average production decreases due to the tighter limitation on the way to feed cows or the changes of weather and quality of grass.
第一个需要回答的问题是每个农场的平均牛奶产量在这十年中的变化。有这个数据我们才能进一步确认牛奶的供应是如题目中所说的持续增加。虽然科技在不断进步，但是政府也有可能出于对健康的考虑，限制农场的牧养方式，天气的变化以及牧草的质量也会影响牛奶的产量。如果平均产奶量下降了，那我们就不能仅凭25%的牧场数量增长断定牛奶供应在不断增加。

2 How the cost of milk production changes should also be answered. Only with the cost and the retail price available, can we judge whether farms are making excessive profits.
牛奶的生产成本的变化也需要被回答。只有当成本和售价的情况都了解了之后，我们才能判断农场获得了超额利润。而牛奶的生产成本受到很多因素的影响，例如挤奶工人的工资，奶牛的饲料，牛奶的运输和存储成本等等，这些成本在十年中都有可能变化。

3 Last but not least, whether there is much import of milk should be studied, so that we can assess how powerful the local farms are when setting the prices.
另外，是否有国外进口的牛奶，数量多少也需要了解，这样我们才能判断本国农场在牛奶定价时候所处的位置。一般来说，如果有足够的进口牛奶满足本地的需求时，本地农场的定价权相对较低，也不太容易取得超额利润。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ee_stone 发表于 2015-1-14 22:51
75. The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of a ...

主要由两个问题需要关注
一个是句子表达 比如 how the cost of milk...后面和answered搭配是不合适的 whether there is ..和studied也不对 如何提出问题 相关的句型要熟悉一下
另一个就是每段要讨论的点的设置和安排 或许可以看看我在189楼的示范

#feedback_simon

wawaGREUID: 3498913

zsczsl 发表于 2015-1-14 19:17
你好，谢谢支持。

以下是我所在的写作互改小组链接，请点击加入吧，不用谢！

好的！嘻嘻嘻

ee_stoneUID: 3573213

tesolchina 发表于 2015-1-15 08:05
主要由两个问题需要关注
一个是句子表达 比如 how the cost of milk...后面和answered搭配是不合适的 w ...

多谢老师，准备就拿这篇argument先写篇全文。

ee_stoneUID: 3573213

In the letter, the editor recommended that government need to regulate the milk price to protect consumers and prevent farms from making too much money. The argument is based on the increasing number of dairy farms and milk price during the same time period. However, to corroborate the argument, we need to answer some extra questions about the average milk production output for each farm, the prevailing cost and retail price of milk across the whole country and the effectiveness of governmental regulation.

push regulation? 你见过别人这么用么 我好像木有  (已改)
increasing number of ... (已改)
questions about (not such as 除非后面跟questions） (已改)


Firstly, we need to ask how the average milk production output for each farm has changed in the past ten years. With the answer to this question, we can better assess the soundness of the assertion that the milk supply is increasing. If the average production decreased by 20 percent, the actual milk production will just be the same as 10 years ago. Actually, there are various possibilities which can cause the decrease of average production. For example, changes of weather and quality of grass may have a great impact on the production output, and some big farms may split into several small ones to make sure cows are better taken care of. Without the data of average production, the claim that milk supply is increasing is not convincing enough.

government may limit the size of each farm  只有北韩会吧  (已改)
the statement （claim?) of increased supply of milk (已改)

We also need to answer how retail prices have changed in the whole country. To support that milk price has been rising, the letter gives an example that the milk price doubled in a specific food market, which may bias the assessment of general milk prices. For instance, the food market may have switched to targeting higher end customers, and started selling organic milk instead of normal product, or the local milk production in that region was extremely excessive and caused relatively low prices ten years ago. Both cases may weaken the assumption that retail prices have increased in the whole country.

你第三句讲的内容和第二句完全不同 衔接有问题 (已改)

Questions about cost of milk production should be investigated as well. costs may also vary a lot during the ten years. Increase of salary expense, feeding stuff and milking equipment will certainly reduce the gross margin of farms. Assuming the average cost of milk production tripled and the average retail prices only increased by 50 percent, it is unreasonable to blame farms are receiving excessive profits.

这段就木有提出问题啊 写着写着就忘了题目了 汗 (已改)


Last but not least, we need to ask what the regulated price is (would be) and whether government regulation is effective for fair prices. In some cases, if the price is limited too low to make farms profitable enough, farms will be discouraged from producing at full capacity, or even quit the business. Thus, the supply of milk will decrease and the actual price will go higher if the requirement stays the same. Meanwhile, the regulation may only be applicable to big markets where the regular monitoring on the price is possible. There can be some other small markets and even black markets, where the regulation is just ignored. Hence, we may consider lowering the prices by open the market for external suppliers from foreign countries.

因为是提出的建议 时态要注意

the price is limited (set as) lower than the cost 这个是不可能的 农场主会造反的  
关于effective你木有展开讨论  (已改)



In summary, the answers to the questions above, on the average production, cost and prices, will either support or weaken the statement, and it is important to resolve these questions before making the recommendation.

#feedback_simon