GRE作文句子加油站

fishgoUID: 3607599

句子订正，保持更新

艾小卉UID: 3484633

句子加油站第一次订正记录：

主要订正了I113，A78，A28，I65，A15

I33还没有批改，所以暂未订正  46楼 有时间老师看一下下
，谢谢老师啦

之前未订正的会陆续补上来

雲靉玥UID: 2888572

修改了A78, I133, A28以及I65， 刚刚更新了A15和I122.
谢谢王老师！

雲靉玥 句子订正模板.xlsx (36.15 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2015-6-21 20:42:47 上传

下载次数: 5
6-22更新

tmdxlpUID: 2745223

句子订正模板(tmdxlp).xlsx (45.27 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2015-6-29 00:26:11 上传

下载次数: 0

（更新版本）

晹城UID: 3586536

表格是Argu 15 的订正

句子订正_Argu 15.xlsx (11.8 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2015-6-18 01:40:30 上传

下载次数: 5
句子订正_Argu 15.xlsx

Issue 65交晚了，也还没有改，老师有空的时候看一下吧~谢谢老师啦！
Issue 65

sunshineatnoonUID: 3584816

tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-17 19:44
As far as I can see, I don’t agree with the claim above        这个表达有重复
因为用了两个I  
都是说自 ...

明白了，谢谢老师！

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

修改了argu 65的句子~希望老师指正~

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

issue 146的句子也放上来~

谢谢老师~

刘小帆童鞋UID: 3606137

1.原句： 
For students who have their own interests and do not have any economic burden, they should be encouraged to select the certain spheres in which they are interested.

修改：
For students who have their own interests and do not have any economic burden, they should be encouraged to select the certain realms in which they are interested.

问题：
词汇混用。认为sphere, area, region, field, major, realm, 都可以表示学科领域的意思。


2.原句：
Some people may concern about students who are needy but have interests in some certain realms.

修改：
Some people may be concerned about students who are needy but have interests in some certain realms.

问题：
这个错误我已经觉得自己弱到无药可救。高中就在背“as far as I am concerned”。然后居然堂而皇之的就这里用错了。

3.原句：
For these students, they might choose the fields that prepare them for lucrative careers firstly, then support themselves and lastly study in the major based on their own interests.

修改：
For these students, they might choose the fields that prepare them for lucrative careers firstly, then support themselves and lastly learn what they are eager to know in their leisure time.

问题：
其实想说的就是等这些人有钱了，在业余时间把自己感兴趣的知识当爱好来学。但是原句表达的好像成了去学专业课的感觉。让老师误以为修二专业。其实我想表达的就是先养活自己，然后利用业余时间学自己感兴趣的。

4.原句：
Another question should be tackled with is that whether one month is enough for residents in the first three buildings to find disadvantages of the restriction measure.

修改：
Another question that should be tackled with is how much it would cost to adopt the restriction.

问题：whether可以直接引导从句。我加了that。

5.原句：
We may also need to ask that whether the same measure could be carried out successfully to the last nine buildings?

修改：
We may also need to ask whether the residents and potential tenants are really satisfied with the restriction of water flow.

问题：1）whether可以直接引导宾语从句，我多此一举，还要加引导词that；2）明明是陈述句，我写了问号。

6.原句：
Mentally, individuals are differently from their ancestor regarding ideology.

修改：
Mentally, individuals are different from their ancestor regarding ideology.

问题：
这个纯粹是“智商压制”。 系统词后面显然跟形容词。我写作文的时候光顾着思路去了，直接最基本的语法也忘记了。




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老师我加入的较晚，但是只要您给我修改过的文章，我将所有句子存在问题的都加进去了。并且在EXCEL中用不同颜色清晰的标记了修改的地方。
当然，在原帖中，只要您修改过的文章，我也都相应的考虑了您指出的错误，写了第二稿，并且将修改的部分用粉色做了标记。
虽然加入这个活动很晚，但不得不承认很喜欢这样的备考。充实而且科学，并且锻炼自己。真的很感谢老师。

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今天是加入这个活动的第五天，希望自己坚持下去！后续每周都会在这个帖子里更新自己的错误。