2015年AW暑期同主题练习-Narcissus-art

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Narcissus-art 发表于 2015-7-16 12:28
Argument 87 reading habits (classics vs novel)

In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citiz ...

计时的问题 12楼说得很对

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-17 16:08
计时的问题 12楼说得很对

嗯，时间问题一定尽快提上来，也先列好详细的提纲再写。

老师，我在11楼回答了一下您提出的问题，又是思路的问题，您看一下能否说得通：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3564225
14楼还有一个关于举例太晚的问题，把道理说透彻再举例不行吗？

dingchenchenUID: 3602968

Narcissus-art 发表于 2015-7-17 13:22
谢谢指出问题哦！“把你的详细提纲写好，包括中间段的可能性有几点都想好，最好就是把你要用的句型也顺便 ...

我的表达很成问题，错误百出，我就模仿老师的句型，正在进行中。希望多练能够有进步。加油！

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

91) The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.  



40min，要继续提速。。 因为对范文的思路和句法仔细地看了几遍，几乎都快记住了，没有像之前的几篇有自己发挥的，所以速度提上来了。打字时不够快，不够准确，在思路确定时，要尽量避免typo。

I agree with the statement that the primary goal of technological advancement is to increase people's efficiency in a variety of activities. But whether or not it can make people have and enjoy more leisure time depends on the different roles people play in society and goals they set for themselves.

make people have 表达
enable people to enjoy ...


For the students and researchers in higher education, with the advent of computers and internet, they can acquire large amounts of information for academic studies very conveniently through e-books, journal database and online courseware. The digital development has greatly improved the efficiency of searching academic literature and getting learning materials. However, it does not mean that students and researchers can have and enjoy the leisure time which was saved by technology. In fact, with the enhanced efficiency, the pressure of accomplishing more in a short period also increased. College students want to make themselves more competitive by pursuing double even triple majors and taking courses in traditional classes as well as in online studying platform. Scholars also have to sacrifice their personal time to keep up with the explosion of digital scholarly works, which can help them produce their own articles and survive in the "publish or perish" world.

这段模仿的不错 不过 我自己重读我的范文时觉得这一段的处理有问题 主要是针对goal的回应不够充分
而且将to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time 强行拆分是有风险的



Likewise, white-collar workers and business managers can also increase their team work efficiency through new technology. For example, they can work at home through the internet-based teleconferencing system, which will save a lot of commuting time for them and increase the whole team working efficiency. Actually, this is the primary goal of developing new communication technology. But this innovation has not given people more time to enjoy the leisure activities, but to threaten the time that should be spending with their families. After all, the boundary between workplace and home has been blurred, with the demand of more work eating away family time.

be spending 被动


The only group of people who can actually enjoy the leisure time saved by technological advancements is the retired elderly. They can get what they want at home through shopping online, which will save them a lot of troubles of driving or carrying the cargos by themselves. And the GPS shoes can make them go outside without worrying about losing their way and find their destination more efficiently. Also, the smart wearable devices such as wristwatch can help them do some basic body checkup, which means sometimes it is unnecessary for them to visit doctors as they already know the healthy situations of themselves. Then they can use the time saved by technology to do their favorite things, such as playing chess, doing exercise and traveling, since they have retired and no commitments to jobs.

这篇我自己可能要重写了  到这里已经偏离了题目should这个关键词



In conclusion, it is reasonable to say that the primary goal of technological advancements is to increase people’s efficiency. But for most of the people who have to work to earn their living, they can’t have more leisure time but often find that they have to work overtime to keep up with the fast pace of modern life. Nevertheless, for the retired elderly people, living in an era with so many technological inventions is a true blessing because they can truly enjoy more leisure time.

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

165) Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands were extinct. Previous archaeological findings have suggested that early humans generally relied on both fishing and hunting for food; since archaeologists have discovered numerous sites in the Kaliko Islands where the bones of fish were discarded, it is likely that the humans also hunted the mammals. Furthermore, researchers have uncovered simple tools, such as stone knives, that could be used for hunting. The only clear explanation is that humans caused the extinction of the various mammal species through excessive hunting.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

45min 参考了老师一些范文中关于这种“不同解释”类型的文章的写法，感觉写得还不是很顺手，所以时间又长了。。。切入的点也不知道准不准，每种写作类型都要练几篇才能知道怎样表达。

The author argues that it was humans’ excessive hunting rather than climate change or other environmental factors which caused large mammal species' extinctions in the Kaliko Islands based on his interpretations and explanations of two observations:1) there were fish bones discarded on numerous sites in the Kaliko Islands; 2) there were some simple tools such as stone knives uncovered. To evaluate the argument critically, we need to explore other alternative explanations for the facts observed and presented.

开头写得不错 明确指出了要解释的现象

1 Given the fact that archaeologists have discovered some discarded fish bones on many sites in the Kaliko Islands, the author asserts that it is possible that the humans also hunted mammals because past archaeological findings have suggested early humans generally got food through fishing and hunting. 2 But there might be other explanations for this fact. 3 On the one hand, the situations about early humans which were suggested by the previous archaeological findings may not apply to the people in the Kaliko Islands. 4 May be they could get enough food just through fishing. 5 Or there were many other food resources on the Islands, such as various fruits, birds and plants, which gave them enough food supply so that there was no need for them to hunt large mammals for food. 6 On the other hand, even if the previous archaeological suggestion is true, we still can’t believe that humans in the Kaliko Islands hunted mammals because there is no direct evidence showing that. 7 If they had hunted mammals for food, then archaeologist must be able to discover some bones of mammals on the numerous sites in the Kaliko Islands since there was no reason for the early humans hiding all the mammals’ bones purposely. 8 If these are the explanations of the facts, then humans could not have been a factor in the species' extinctions.  


这段明显太长了
比如第3句 就有点多余
past archaeological findings其实就是发现了fish bone 分号后面的内容是前面内容的细节
第6句也不是在讲alternative explanation
基本上我不知道你整段在说啥
你首先要搞清楚原作者提出的现象和解释是什么  
这里的现象就是发现了鱼骨  解释就是人们依靠捕鱼和捕猎为生  
捕鱼就一定说明捕猎么 这是关键所在啊



As for the simples tools uncovered by researchers, there are also other alternative explanations we need to consider. Instead of hunting, maybe the humans invented those simple tools such as stone knives for breaking open the hard shell of some nuts, cutting trees or digging the root of plants. More systematic and independent investigation into the use of those simple tools is necessary to settle this issue. Such investigation would help determine whether people had explored used many tools to hunt mammals. 

上段和这段篇幅波动好大
explore tool搭配
这段清晰很多



Even though people had hunted mammals, the author’s final explanation for the extinction of various mammal species is still doubtful. There is no evidence showing that humans had hunted mammals excessively. Maybe humans had also encountered a great loss when hunting, which made them fearful and reduce the frequency of hunting. Or they did not hunt too much because of some kind of religion and knew how to keep a balance between animals and humans. Therefore, if humans did not hunt mammals excessively, there must be other explanations for the extinction of lots of mammals. The most likely reason is that climate change or other environmental factors in the Kaliko Islands had made the environment not suitable for large mammals living any more.

题目的要求是提出rival explanation而不是要你质疑原本的解释  
这里应该讨论其他可能导致extinction的因素 例如气候变化等等   



In conclusion, the argument has to be evaluated by taking into account the alternative explanations discussed above. Specifically, we need to look into the food sources of the humans in the Kaliko Islands, the real purpose of inventing stone knives and the different causes of such extinction.

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

78) People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

45 min  学习将抽象概念具体化的方法，对于范文的思路和例子仔细理解了一下，没有想到更好的例子，所以几乎是完全照搬了下来。

I disagree with the statement that people's immediate situation or surroundings have more influence on their attitudes than society as a whole. In my opinion, people's attitudes are fundamentally shaped by the society through education, media and government policies which, to a large extent, also determine our immediate environment.

挺好 只要是自己的话都 ok 等熟悉了思路 再慢慢过渡到自己独立立论  


To begin with, education is an important social institution which influences determines our attitudes and surroundings. Take the priority seating in public transportation as an example. When we were schoolchildren, we learned the social etiquette of giving your seat our seats to those who are in need, e.g. pregnant women and the elderly. This behavior is encouraged in our education based on a principle of "Treat others the way you want to be treated".  Our attitudes toward our fellow passengers were shaped by this belief which were developed in education. Meanwhile, the society will make sure our surroundings reflecting the principle that is consistent with our attitudes. Priority seats are marked clearly on the bus and subway train to remind us this social etiquette. In other words, society will shape our attitudes at first, then design the environment which will facilitate relevant practices.

determine surrounding好像不太合适 influence好些  
giving our seats  
果然是模仿范文 你比对一下句子没有照抄吧  【木有抄噢。。是先把中文意思记了一下，然后给翻出来了】
或许你可以考虑换一个例子 比如说 charitable organization  或者 volunteerism  之类的  
比如我们从小被鼓励捐钱给慈善机构  周围也会有一些慈善机构的人在街上募捐 香港每周三、六都卖旗

http://www.swd.gov.hk/en/index/s ... olofc/sub_flagdays/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_Day_(Hong_Kong)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To begin with, education is an important social institution which influences our attitudes and surroundings. For example, as schoolchildren, we were encouraged to donate our allowance to the charitable organization, which could help those who are in need. Teachers always told us "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Our attitudes towards other people who have encountered natural disasters or accidents are shaped by this belief which were developed in education. Meanwhile, the society will make sure our surroundings reflecting the principle that is consistent with our attitudes. For instance, there is a 'flag day' in Hong Kong, when people can get small flags which typically bears the name and logo of the beneficiary after they donate money. In other words, society will shape our attitudes at first, then design the environment which will facilitate related practices.


In addition, our attitudes are also determined by society through mass media and corporations. This is particularly true in this consumer-oriented society. We are brainwashed by a variety of advertising campaigns, which make us believe that the expensive goods and services enable us to be happy. Gradually, we begin to feel that our value as human beings are determined by the material goods we buy. At the same time, the society would mold our surroundings by a way so that makes shopping seemingly effortless. For example, the Amazon's 'one-click order' can provide a very convenient channel for online shoppers to buy goods even without further confirmation. Such kind of arrangements around us, along with the advertisements and media, reinforce our attitudes towards consumption.

by a way that- in such a way/ so that


Finally, the society could also change our attitudes through government policies. For instance, gay marriages become more acceptable in American and European countries since governments have adopted more lenient policies towards the Civil Union and homosexual marriages. Despite fierce opposition from some social groups, public attitude towards gay marriage changed from hatred or reluctance to acceptance. On the other hand, the changes in policies also stimulate the industries of gay romance and wedding. The new products and services are available for gay couples to celebrate celebrating their bondings increased. Again social environment would respond to the changes in policies and public attitudes.

new products and services are also available for the gay couples to ...

总的来说模仿的不错 不过我有点担心抄的太多 可能要多一些同意转化以及换例子  


In conclusion, I don’t think our attitudes are determined by our situation or surroundings. Rather, they were shaped by the society through significant institutions like education, media and government, which will determine our social environment and ensure it to be in harmony with our attitudes .

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

Argument 62 示范argument 121 122 124

The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals.

"In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of UltraClean at our hospital in Workby, that hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection than did any of the other hospitals in our group. Therefore, to prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout our hospital system.”

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The director recommended to supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations in their hospital system in order to prevent serious patient infections with the belief that UltraClean has better effects than liquid antibacterial hand soaps in reducing the population of bacteria. A number assumptions about the lab results, the Workby report and the infection channels have to be reexamined in order to assess the argument.

开头不错

To begin with, it is assumed that the UltraClean can perform in hospitals as effectivelygood as in the lab. But as we all know, the laboratory environment is different from hospitals where the situations are more complicated. Maybe there are more kinds of bacteria in hospitals than in labs. Or the bacteria in hospitals are more active than in labs. If the UltraClean products have not been tested in hospitals, we can not assume that they have better effects than liquid hand soaps.

as good as -词性
这里的重点是concentrated这个词 你的讨论里面不处理这个词 就欠缺一些  

It is also assumed that the main reason of fewer patient infection cases at the hospital in Workby is the use using of UltraClean. This assumption must be carefully examined as there might be other reasons why the hospital in Workby has fewer infections. For example, the total number of patients is smaller fewer than the other hospitals in their group. Or they have launched a campaign to tell their patients the importance of good hygiene. If the fewer infections are caused by these factors, then adopting the proposal would not achieve the desired goal.

the using- the use
number - fewer搭配 smaller  


The third assumption implicitly made is that the provision of UltraClean would necessarily prevent serious patient infections. For one thing, whether or not the UltraClean has better effects in killing bacterias still remains an open question. For another thing, even though it is true that the UltraClean products indeed perform better than liquid soaps in the conditions of hospital, we still can not assume that supplying UltraClean throughout this hospital system would necessarily prevent serious infections since some infective diseases infect other people through breathe or blood rather than hands. If this is the case, it will not be helpful to change all the liquid soaps with UltraClean products.

你这一段的重点应该是讨论serious infection但是真正讲这个问题是在最后两句
前面似乎涉及到推广到其他医院 这个点应该另外一段来写  


In conclusion, it is not reasonable to suggest providing UltraClean at all hospitals in their group based on the lab results and one hospital report. The assumptions discussed above have to be critically examined to help the director make a sound decision.


35min 这篇写得太短了，主要是想不出来其他因素，思路打不开，不够流畅，扩充不起来，都是一些短句。

dingchenchenUID: 3602968

Narcissus-art 发表于 2015-7-24 10:05
Argument 62 示范argument 121 122 124

The following appeared in a memo from the director of a lar ...

互相学习哈~浅评如下

第三段用的人数那个非常好，我当时举例就没有想到。
第四段举的例子也挺好。
还有整篇的布局以及句子挺好的，形式多样。
向你学习~

para.2
To begin with, it is assumed that the UltraClean can perform in hospitals as good as in the lab.
把good改为effective是不是要好些呢。我知道你要表达的意思，用中文说“好”貌似也可以，但是我感觉用effective更准确。

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

dingchenchen 发表于 2015-7-24 23:20
互相学习哈~浅评如下

第三段用的人数那个非常好，我当时举例就没有想到。

多谢鼓励噢~我觉得写得很差。。总是没话说，一两句话就把想到的点说完了，然后不知道讲啥了，直接导致写完都不敢交给老师评了，第二天才贴上作业。还需要很多思维训练才行。

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

82, edu Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country. [claim/ solution]大学应该要求学生至少有一个学期在国外学习。 97, 同上  100, 同上   124, 同上
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

45min 不够充实，没话说， 一个点一两句话就说完了，无法连续地展开，思路不顺畅，必须列详细的中文提纲才行；干货少；单词拼错，浪费时间。总的来说，还是练得太少。

Nowadays, our world is becoming a global village, which makes studying abroad very popular and convenient. Some colleges and universities even begin to require their students to spend at least one semester learning in a foreign country. I agree that this recommendation would be beneficial for students specializing in certain disciplines such as foreign languages, sociology, anthropology and international trade. Yet, students in other fields such as national language and literature, history and archeology would find the requirement unnecessary. Moreover, students with limited financial resources may not benefit from the recommendation.
恩 这个主旨句不错 分类讨论

To begin with, students majoring in certain disciplines, such as foreign languages, sociology, anthropology and international trade, can benefit a lot from this requirement. Through learning abroad taking courses abroad, they can expand their vision outlook, acquire some empirical knowledge to supplant their theoretical knowledge, and get inspirational ideas very possibly. For example, the French sociologist Tocqueville wrote a famous book called Democracy in America after his nine month's journey in America. This is the first book which describes the institutions of American society and political system as well as the conditions of American people from a sociology view. Without the direct experience and observations in America, Tocqueville could not have that acumen to create this masterpiece. From this example, we can understand the importance of studying abroad for the students majoring in sociology, foreign languages, anthropology and so on.  

learning abroad -taking courses abroad -选词
expand their outlook选词
very possibly 不懂
例子不合适 题目讲的是大学生出国学一个semester   



Nevertheless, this requirement would be unnecessary for students in other fields such as national language and literature, history and archeology, since the researching subjects of these majors are mainly local people and events and the learning materials are mainly preserved in local arealocally. Take the students who major in Chinese contemporary literature as an example. During their research, they need to read a lot of literary works which depict the lively scenes and stories happened in China. Moreover, many of these reading materials could only be found in China. So, if the students want to understand and interpret these works more deeply, it is better for them to immerse in the relevant cultural atmosphere, 断句and obviously learning in China has more advantages than learning abroad.

the researching subjects of these majors are mainly local people and events 主题句不合适 理由有问题  文学、历史的research subjects?   
materials- preserved搭配


Finally, this requirement may not be beneficial for students with limited economic resources. Before the colleges and universities propose this requirement, they should consider this group of students since it will bring a big financial burden for their families and even make some of them have the feeling of inferiority. Some people may argue that they the students in limited financial situations  can make money through working part-time. But it is very hard to cover the expense of studying abroad through part-time jobs which will also bring lots of distractions for their studies. Unless the schools could provide some scholarships or other channels to help the students with limited financial resources studying abroad, it is unreasonable to require them to spend a semester studying abroad. Otherwise, it would cause some unnecessary pressure and trouble for the students.

make some of them have the feeling of inferiority. 搭配
they can make money - they指代不明


In conclusion, whether or not requiring students to spend some time learning in a foreign country should be decided according to the demands of different disciplines. For the students who are not in good economic conditions, the colleges and universities should encourage and help them to study abroad but not require.

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

100) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

40min 按照老师上次讲的方法列出claim，data, 写出中文假设，然后开始写文章。问题：同义词替换，句子衔接，句式变换。之前是想不到点，现在是想到点了又不知道怎样更好地表达出来。

In this argument, the author claimed that opening a jazz music club in Monroe would be very profitable. A number of assumptions about the popularity of jazz music in Monroe, the inconvenience of going to a club and the expense jazz fans spending on clubs need to be reexamined in order to evaluate the soundness of the argument.



To begin with, it is assumed that jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe based on the facts of over 100,000 people attending Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer and ‘Jazz Nightly’ being the highest-rated radio program at every weeknight in Monroe. This assumption has to be carefully examined as there might be other interpretations for the facts mentioned above. For one thing, the population attending jazz festival might include many young people coming back to Monroe during their summer break. After all, the annual jazz festival was a good chance for them to have fun. Or there were many people from other places going to Monroe to attend the music festival. If this is the case, we won't know how many people are local jazz fans in Monroe. As for the radio program, there might also be other reason why the program of jazz music is highest-rated. Maybe there are only a few radio programs in Monroe, which leaves small space for people there to choose leaves local people only a few options. If this is the condition it is in this condition, we can not assume that people in Monroe love jazz music.

small space - only a few options 选词
If this is the condition 选词

写的不错 jazz festival这个点写得有点啰嗦  整段略长



In addition, it is also assumed that some famous jazz musicians owning have homes in Monroe because of the popularity of jazz music in this city. But there might be other reasons why jazz musicians choose to own home in Monroe. For example, there might be beautiful views in Monroe or there is a small population in Monroe, which makes Monroe a good environment for the musicians to create music. If these are the main reasons of jazz musicians owning home in Monroe, then this phenomenon does not have a relation with the popularity of jazz in Monroe.

some famous jazz musicians owning homes in Monroe because of the popularity of jazz music in this city句子结构


Another assumption being made is that people in Monroe would like to have a jazz club opening in their city go to the proposed jazz club since the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. This assumption might also not hold true. Maybe there is a high way from Monroe to the nearest jazz club, which is very convenient for the Monroe residents to drive. And they would like to enjoy the one-hour journey after work, which is a good time to relax. If this is the case, opening a new jazz club in Monroe might not be welcomed.

people in Monroe would like to have a jazz club opening  表达  
-  people in Monroe would go to the proposed jazz club  



Finally, it is assumed that the main part of expense a typical jazz fan spending on jazz entertainment is going to a jazz club a typical jazz fan would spend the main part of his\her money of jazz entertainment on clubs. However, there might be other places for a jazz fan to spend his/her money. He/she might buy a jazz CD, or go to a jazz concert, or download some jazz music on iTunes. If they did not go to a the proposed jazz club frequently, the jazz club developers’ expectation of earning a lot of money might be frustrated not be realized .

a typical jazz fan spending on jazz entertainment句子结构
a jazz club- the proposed jazz club
expectation- frustrated 搭配


In conclusion, it is not reasonable to recommend opening a jazz club in Monroe based on some surface facts. The assumptions discussed above have to be critically examined before the developers made a final decision.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Narcissus-art 发表于 2015-7-28 16:32
100) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of ...

写的挺好 这篇

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

105) Claim: Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience.
Reason: People who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible without the constraints of established habits and attitudes.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

40min 看了老师几篇关于reason 和 claim类型的文章，好像有点知道怎样把两个统一起来讲，但还是不太明晰。想了很长时间，不知道这种分类行不行得通，实在是想不到第三种分类情况。第一种分类的具体例子想了半天也没找到，只能用一个虚拟的例子。

As time goes by, people gain more and more experience which comprises of knowledge, skill or observation of life. Experience is like a double-edge sword that might constrain our thoughts or librate our thoughts. Since some people with experience may be constrained by their established habits and attitudes, it is argued that people who lack experience are more likely to free their imagination and therefore imagination is more valuable than experience. While I agree that sometimes people who are complacent with their situations may just make judgements out of their experience and don’t want to imagine or create a new way to fix a problem,  other people who are more proactive and inclined to challenge themselves could benefit a lot from their experience which is the foundation of imagination.

你这个开头写了多久 感觉太长了  时间有限啊 考场上开头写太久会影响后面的进度 你这里是将人分作两种不同的态度   


To begin with, for people who are very content and proud of their own experience, they might be limited by the experience because they are so self-satisfied that their brain are used to make judgements out of inertia. In this case, experience almost equals to the constraints of established habits and attitudes, which is quite likely to lock people’s imagination. We are not unfamiliar with this kind of examples in our surroundings. Some people who have worked more than 3 years in one industry is surpassed by a new colleague who has less experience, since the experienced people are less aggressive compared with the new hand and they overly relied on their established habits or attitudes. For this kind of people, lacking experience might be a motivating force to impel them to develop their imagination more freely and accordingly imagination is more valuable for them than experience.

their brain are used to make judgements out of inertia （一般做决定的是mind吧 选词；而且这句话我不懂）
意思是：自满的人受限于自己的经验，因为他们的大脑出于惯性做出判断。
整段没有具体例子啊  

Nevertheless, for the people who are more proactive and inclined to get ahead of themselves, experience is a huge fortune and the resource pool for imagination. They can exert their imagination based on their special experience including the established habits and attitudes. With the good habits and attitudes, they will have a larger space for imagination than a novice. Take the famous movie star Stephen Chow as an example. He is honored as the king of comedies in China as his performance is full of imagination and very creative. Many of his film clips are imitated by other actors but none of them overtake him. Stephen has been an walk-on role in movies for more than ten years, which gave him much time observing other people’s ordinary life and accumulating performance experience. Later, he created a lot of classic roles in his films, most of which came from his life experience and thus very lively.  From this example, we can know that if you are good at learning from your experience, they can help you and guide you to imagine more freely.

experience和imagination之间的关系到底是怎样的
周星驰的故事里这个关系又是怎样的  
感觉看完这段话还是没明白


In conclusion, whether or not experience could constrain his\her imagination depends on the characteristic of different people. If he\she is easily self-satisfied with his\her experience, then their imagination would be limited and lacking experience might be better for them. Otherwise, experience will be a valuable asset for people, which is the cornerstone of imagination.

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-29 21:45
写的挺好 这篇

多谢老师鼓励！每篇都有这样那样的问题，写得很费劲，自己觉得不满意，只能硬着头皮交作业，，，接下来还是要多练多总结。

Narcissus-artUID: 3564225

Argument 34) The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits. "

"Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.”

漏洞是否一般找3个即可，最多4个？这篇点找的貌似多了，还有一个“监控软件可能造成电脑运行变慢”的点没写。写得点多了以致超时不少，45min。考试时应该要少写一个点。现在理解上次老师讲的写assumptions时照抄原文是怎么回事了，这个错误很容易犯啊，我第一遍提纲是这样的，后来意识到又改了

In this argument, the author recommended to implement electronic monitoring of employees’ Internet use from their workstations in order to improve the employees’ productivity and the company’s overall profits.  A number of assumptions about the boundary between work and non-work activities, the rationality of punishments and the effectiveness of installing detecting software should be reexamined in order to evaluate the soundness of this argument.


To begin with, it is assumed that there is a clear boundary between work and personal or recreational activities, which is easy for the detecting software to identify. However, in many occasions, there is no such a clear line to distinguish work from non-work activities. For example, if a person works in an e-commerce company, he probably needs to go to the shopping websites in work time in order to know the information of price and marketing, which is very important to help him make further judgements. Or people who works as an programmer in a video-game company, it is very hard for a monitoring software to tell that this programmer’s behavior of playing games is work or recreational activity. If these are the cases, it might be very difficult to realize the author’s purpose of identifying the employees who spend work hours on personal or entertaining activities.

感觉这个点写得挺机灵的  但是我不太确定是合适的  当我们不知道公司的性质时 我们不能假设这个公司会是某些特殊行业的



In addition, it is also assumed that the employees who can not focus on their work all the time during the work hours should be punished. Even if there is a software which can identify the employees are working or not, it is not appropriate for a company to punish the employees without knowing the concrete situations of different people. Maybe the person who surfs online to read some news or stories just wants to take a break from the intensive work, which will make him work more efficiently later. Or one person just spends several minutes on buying some goods online because of urgent needs. So if the company punish anyone who does not concentrate on their work during work hours, it might cause some rebellious emotions of the employees' discontent with this company rather than improving their productivity.

concrete situations - specific/ particular 选词  查了一下COCA，里面可以这样用哦
rebellious emotions搭配


Another assumption being made is that employees can only use the Internet on company computers. But there might be other channels instead of company computers for the employees to do what they want. The most convenient device is mobile phone which is more and more like a micro-computer. If the employees know their company install detecting software on their working computers, they may choose to use their mobile phone to do some personal or entertaining things. Therefore, the company's purpose of preventing employees from wasting time through installing detecting software might not be achieved.

这段写的不错  


Finally, it is also assumed that installing detecting software won’t affect the employees' feelings towards their company and will foster a better work ethic at Climpson. This assumption might not hold true since the employees may view the company’s monitoring behavior as the distrust of them a kind of distrust. If this is the case, installing detecting software might cause the employees’ antipathy aversion toward the company rather than loyalty, which is likely to induce many people to have an idea of job-hopping increase the turnover rates of the employees.

as the distrust of them 搭配
antipathy选词
induce many people to have an idea of job-hopping- increase the turnover rates of the employees


In conclusion, if installing monitoring software won’t have the effects of preventing employees from wasting time and fostering a better work ethic, it is impossible to improve the company’s overall profits. Despite the good intention of this recommendation, the company’s president needs more information to evaluate the soundness of the argument in order to make a wise decision.