bairong作文练习贴

bairongUID：3607808

Argument 34) The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits. "
"Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted."

According to the vice president, Climpson Industries should install electronic software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers in order to improve employees' productivity. By citing the examples of the time wasted on personal or recreational activities, the vice president puts forward the above recommendation. A number of assumptions need to be further scrutinized, such as the effect of carrying out electronic monitoring and reducing non-work Internet activities, the relationship between electronic software and overall profits, to evaluate the argument.
detect internet use- monitor/ police 选词  
assumptions including 搭配

To begin with, it is assumed that installing electronic software can cut down on personal or recreational activities. Yet, a system focusing on the online activities on the workstations may not serve the purpose well. As we know, nowadays most people can surf the Internet with personal mobile devices such as smartphones and tablet computers that may connect to the Internet via mobile Internet service providers. Thus, even if installing electronic software on employees' computer, they could also take online activities on their smartphones or tablet computers, which still wastes a lot of time. If the electronic software does not work, the proposal of vice president will be not feasible.

这个其他可能性不是很靠谱啊 相比较其他同学写的（包括我的范文里写的）员工可能会玩手机等等
proposal- valid  搭配  


The vice president also assumes that the decrease of non-work Internet activities can increase the employees' productivity. Perhaps reducing the time spent on non-work activities could lower the employees' productivity, because adequate personal or recreational activities help employees to relax and for the moment they can forget the intensive work for a while. For example, online shopping to female staff and online games to male staff is the way coffee to tired people. Such activities can ease employees' pressure, lift their spirits and they will devote themselves deeply to the work later. On the contrary, without personal or recreational activities as a rest, they will be too nervous to work effectively. If reducing non-work Internet activities weakens the enthusiasm and efficiency of employees, the recommendation will be counterproductive.


Because 不能独立成句  句子结构
personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games 题目说的是这些活动 你用的是听音乐的例子 感觉还是用题目的例子好些  这个relaxation release pressure的点是成立的  

the recommendation will be meaningless.- 选词  



Another assumption is that implementing electronic monitoring will improve the overall profits of Climpson. Granted that electronic monitoring improves the employees' productivity, whether overall profits would increase is uncertain. Developing and installing the software to all the workstations in the company would certainly cost a large amount of money, especially when the software has to be made robust enough against the hacking of the employees. Except with the explicit costs, there are also hidden costs. The company may lost some valuable employees who might choose to leave the company feeling offended by such monitoring software. Therefore, the company has to carefully assess the potential benefits and costs of the proposed system before making decisions.  

is unpredicted- is uncertain 选词
这里应该讨论软件的成本  其他因素应该假设保持不变 ceteris paribus




In conclusion, the argument is based on some untested assumptions. We need more information to examine the evidence. If these assumptions do not hold true, the recommendation will be not accepted. (371)

bairongUID：3607808

ISSUE57 The main benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that people living now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


I disagree with the statement in two respects. First, there are marked differences in terms of physiology and value systems between people nowadays and in earlier times. Second, studying history carries other equally important benefits as well.

这里第一个点其实是反驳the illusion that people living now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times 所以后面说这个是beneficial有点多余 第二个点才是回应main benefit


Due to the fundamental changes in lifestyles caused by technological revolution, people nowadays are significantly different from people in earlier times in terms of the shape of our bodies and other aspects of our physiology. For one thing, in today’s society, given that GM foods can increase crop yield, food quality and the diversity of foods, we can enjoy abundant food. With more calorie intake and other nutritious food, we are in general healthier and taller than people in the past and enjoy longer lifespan as well. On the other hand, the sedentary lifestyle, brought by the digital revolution and the advent of Internet, has also led to more health concerns such as high blood pressure and obesity that were rare when people mainly did physical work in earlier times.

impacted by - caused by 选词  
你可以去查一下Green revolution 这里的关键技术其实是化肥、杀虫剂和灌溉 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Revolution#Technologies这个好，稍后仔细看一下
总的来说写得挺好 不知道在句子层面“抄”得多不多  还是要尽量同意转换


Our value systems have also evolved continually and develop different attitudes to people and things in today’s society.Formerly the society often treated women on deprecating and unequal attitudes. Nowadays, the social status of women has been largely improved and most people can respect women’s rights of freedom life and work. Take an example of fertility. By 1960, mothers who had four children were 25 still faced another 15 to 20 fertile years ahead of them, and could hardly take a job. With the invention of Pill-giving the right of a woman to control her own fertility, women are able to postpone having children to pursue a career that had never been possible before.

Formerly the attitudes in which societies treat women were focused on deprecating and unequal attitudes.
attitudes were focused on attitudes搭配
Formerly the society often treated women ...

关于女性所受的待遇做到了前后对比 但是后面一个却没有前后对比 这样就没法突出不同时代的差别 就没有点题
其实你只讲女性问题就足够写一段出来了 女性在现代地位提高的原因包括工业化对体力要求下降 女性的劳动力价值提升 以及避孕丸的发明让女性可以控制自己的生育http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/pill/peopleevents/e_lib.html这篇也好好看



Another problem with the statement is that it ignores other equally important benefits of studying history. As we know, learning about the mistakes of past societies helps us avoid repeating them. Let us look back at our history, the world is slowly coming to learn that autocracy governments whose authority stems from suppression of individual freedoms invariably topple under its own weight. And, learning about one's cultural heritage, can foster a healthy sense of self and cultivate an interest in preserving cultural artifacts, which serves to enrich society.

感觉你倾向一段写2个例子 而不是将一个例子深入讨论  这样容易因为两个例子没有关联而造成段落的松散  
而且你这段其实也没有具体例子  所以相比前两段这段的问题比较大  


In conclusion, the statement is misleading in that we are indeed physiologically and ideologically different from people in the past and can benefit from learning about these differences; in addition, the statement unnecessarily narrows the potential benefits of studying history. (400)

bairongUID：3607808

ISSUE4) Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  

先大致说一下思路（以免看不懂:L ）。写的是同意，但还是借鉴了老师的不少想法。同意在两个方面，一是暴露与利益相关的丑闻，有助于问题的解决；二是当丑闻被谈论，特别是与个人利益相关的丑闻，有助于改进社会环境。挑战的观点是有人argue丑闻吸引了短期的关注、不能解决问题，我提出建立独立委员会，跟踪丑闻事件的后续进展，提出解决方案并确保执行。但挑战写得太弱了，老师先帮忙看看吧:handshake

I agree with the speaker's statement that scandals are useful in two respects. First, through the exposure of scandals, illegal issues involving the personal stake can be solved under pressure; on the other hand, scandals, especially ones that relate to individual rights, need to be talked to help improve one’s community. In order to effectively solve problems revealed through scandals, we should create an independent commission that follows up solutions of scandal issues that would be effectively implemented.


but related to interests 不懂你的意思
scandals especially involved in individual rights need to be talked to不懂
effectively play the role of scandals 这里的主语是we完全不通啊
你这样写完全是做无用功啊  
你不能凭感觉写英语句子  要根据你平时阅读的英语文章的句法来写啊  

  

To begin with,  illegal issues involving the personal stake have to be exposed as scandals to get solved. Consider, for example, a scandal about a factory emitting the toxic effluents into the nearby river is exposed on public media. If the region's residents had not reported such scandal news to the public media, it is rare for any speaker or reformer to say anything about this thing in public. The reason is that the factory usually plays a key role in the economic development of the local region, or even provides a variety of funds for local government, which probably involves the profits of local great speakers or even reformers. However, this scandal exposure elicits the public attention inevitably including speakers and reformers' attention, which will promote a regulation established to balance different interests and to protect residents' health and safety.

a scandal that 你见过scandal后面跟that的引出那个丑闻的具体内容吗 没见过就不能瞎写啊  
  
Because the factory usually relates to the economic development of the local region, or even provides a variety of funds for local government normally involved the profits of local great speakers or even reformers.
这句话的结构有问题啊

我觉得你现在首先要认识到自己语言层面的问题 不能任性的写句子  
这样一来你写文章会很痛苦 会不敢动笔 我觉得这样也好过写一堆错句子啊   




Furthermore, only when scandals are talked about, can our community be improved especially individual rights firmly guaranteed. Let us look back at our history, if some scandals were never told to us, our society would stay in a violate and terrible status. If we did not see the problems of autocracy government, our various individual freedoms we have now would be suppressed by authority, leaving us never to say any different opinion in public, surely including those scandals filled in our society. Consider to another example of abortion. Such kind of right concerned about special groups such as women, would not be established if not any similar scandal to be exposed. Because nations view abortion as unjust, disagree with mothers' freedom of choices and increase the number of underground clinics and potential murder, talking about such scandals on mainstream media can be helpful to afford women’s rights.

Some people may argue that scandals attract short attention that would be unreliable to solve problems. For this purpose, I put forward creating an independent commission to follow up solutions of scandal issues. The independent commission should be responsible for proposing, implementing and getting feedback for solutions.

In conclusion, I agree that due to the exposure and talk of scandals, scandals help us make legal regulations and build enlightened community. And an independent commission that follows up solutions of scandal issues will promote effective implementation. (444)

bairongUID：3607808

ARGUMENT135) The data from a survey of high school math and science teachers show that in the district of Sanlee many of these teachers reported assigning daily homework, whereas in the district of Marlee, most science and math teachers reported assigning homework no more than two or three days per week. Despite receiving less frequent homework assignments, Marlee students earn better grades overall and are less likely to be required to repeat a year of school than are students in Sanlee. These results call into question the usefulness of frequent homework assignments. Most likely the Marlee students have more time to concentrate on individual assignments than do the Sanlee students who have homework every day. Therefore teachers in our high schools should assign homework no more than twice a week.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


写作前：看了老师写evidence的一篇范文；写了提纲。
写作中：用时27分钟。
写作后：自己稍微修改了一下。

According to the argument, high school teachers should assign homework no more than twice a week. We need more evidence about the relationship between less frequent homework assignments and better performance, the time students spend on study respectively, and the representativeness of math and science courses in order to evaluate the argument.
the way of using time of Marlee students这个不太明白你的意思
其他都写得不错


To begin with, we need more information about the relationship between better performance and less frequent homework assignments. It is possible that better performance of Marlee students have little to do with their less frequent homework assignments. There are many other possible explanations, such as higher-quality student resources, more efficient teaching methods, more strict supervision from parents and so forth. On the other hand, less frequent homework assignments do not necessarily mean less amount of homework. Maybe Marlee high school teachers assign homework with less frequency but more amount at one time. Thus Marlee students actually take more assignments than Sanlee students, which could explain the good result of grades and fewer students who fail every year. More information regarding the relationship between performance and homework is needed.

那个required to repeat你没有回应啊

Another important piece of evidence is about the relationship between the time students spend on study and less frequent homework assignments. While it is assumed that the Marlee students spend more time on individual assignments due to less frequent homework assignments, there are other possible scenarios. Even if school teachers assign less homework, the Marlee students with great enthusiasm and consciousness of study may use more time to concentrate on homework that is arranged by themselves. Thus, in fact, the Marlee students spend more time on homework than do the Sanlee students. The good grades of the former may be just caused by more homework, which weakens the effectiveness of the suggestion that should assign less frequent homework.

the way of using time of Marlee students.
the way Marlee students used time
evidence - that the way 搭配  
effective 词性


其实这里要比较的就是两间学校的学生在作业上花的时间以及学习的收获  你这个主题句要改一下
这里的关键是 作业次数少和时间花得多之间有没有关联或者因果关系  以及时间花的多和学习质量之间的关系

In addition, while the survey indicates that math and science courses have less frequent homework assignments in Marlee than that in Sanlee, we need key evidence about the representativeness of math and science courses. Perhaps due to the character of math and science courses, students need not repeat practicing to get good grades. They instead to devote themselves to independently thinking the internal law of math and science knowledge that equips students sufficient ability in solving problems. On the contrary, some other subjects such as English require students to persistently practice again and again to be familiar with language. In such case, more frequent homework assignments could be helpful for earning good grades. So specific evidence of the representativeness of math and science courses is needed to inform.


这个点或许放到最后会好些  

In conclusion, it is difficult to decide whether less frequent homework tasks bring good scores. More information about different issues discussed above has to be gathered to assess the strength of the argument. (433)

bairongUID：3607808

Argument38) The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


感觉这一篇写得不错 比楼下那篇issue要强

订正：
1 We need  more evidence about the supply of new fabric, the demand of customers, the  willingness to pay higher prices in order to evaluate the argument.词性，这个错误犯了不止一次了
2 We need  to know the quality of fabric the supplier provides, because the supply of  fabric was of high quality before the suspending of production as  mentioned. 这种用法应该用of不能用with
3 If the  new supplier cannot provide high-quality fabric, the prospect of recovering  production is open to doubt. 不能凭想象用词
4 Too high  supply cost would be unfavorable to resuming production. 这种表达不太会
5 Instead  it is possible that customers are willing to choose those close substitutes  for alpaca overcoats. likely和possible的肯定程度比possible大
6 On the  other hand, with the increased awareness of environment protection among the  customers, the alpaca overcoats adopting wool fabric may be resisted by  customers, which would threaten the profit of sales. 时刻记住和主题句紧密结合

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
According  to the Memo, Sartorian should resume production of alpaca overcoats that will  increase profits of the company.	提出结论
We need  more evidence about the supply of new fabric, the demand of customers, the  willingness to pay higher prices in order to evaluate the argument.	更多证据		willingness - 词性
para.2
To begin  with, while the vice president of Sartorian shows that they have a new fabric  supplier so that they can resume production, we still want more information  about the supply of new fabric.	证据1
We need  to know the quality of fabric the supplier provides, because the supply of  fabric was of high quality before the suspending of production as  mentioned.	细节1		of high quality 选词[/td] [/tr] [tr]  [td=325]If the  new supplier cannot provide high-quality fabric, the prospect of recovering  production is open to doubt.	结论可能不成立		reproduction选词
Likewise,  the information whether the supplier can steadily offer the fabric is also  needed.	细节2		information of 搭配
Without  stable supplier, it is possible that production faces problems again.	结论可能不成立
Meanwhile,  more evidence has to be gathered, such as the cost of raw materials, labor  and machinery, to assess the feasibility of supply.	细节3
Too high  supply cost would be unfavorable to resuming production.	结论可能不成立		reduce the value of production  restoration.选词 不懂你的意思
More  information regarding these issues is needed.	总结需要证据
para.3
In  addition, we also need to know more evidence about the demand of customers  for alpaca overcoats.	证据2
We need  to examine the prices and fashion of clothes similar to alpaca  overcoats.	细节1
Perhaps  customers are less interested in alpaca overcoats compared to five years  ago.	解释细节1
Instead  it is possible that customers are willing to choose those close substitutes  for alpaca overcoats.	解释细节1	肯定程度 你凭什么说likely
Moreover,  the fact that competitor stopped making alpaca coats may just indicate  diminishing consumer demand for them.	细节2
If  customers do not like alpaca overcoats anymore, the proposal of production  restoration is worthless.	结论可能不成立
On the  other hand, with the increased awareness of environment protection among the  customers, the alpaca overcoats adopting wool fabric may be resisted by  customers, which would threaten the profit of sales.	细节3	和主题句结合不紧密（其他可能性不靠谱）要讨论对demand的影响	awareness ... among the  customers 信息不足[/td] [/tr] [tr]  [td=325]Specific  evidence mentioned above has to be provided.	总结需要证据
para.3
Another  important piece of evidence is that whether customers are willing to pay  higher prices for alpaca overcoats or not.	证据3
While  the vice president suggests that the price of most types of clothes has  increased, we do not know the sales of those clothes after the price spike.	细节1
Maybe  the customers bought fewer clothes due to higher price in the past five  years.	解释细节1
Besides,  the phrase “most types” is too vague. We need the information about prices  and market for clothes similar to alpaca overcoats.	细节2
We also  need to know how elastic the demand of alpaca overcoats is relative to other  clothes.	细节3
Thus,  it could be extrapolated that how the trend of sales of alpaca overcoats  following the change of their prices.	解释细节2、3
Otherwise,  without detailed evidence, we cannot assert that the company profits will  increase.	结论可能不成立
para.4
In  conclusion, it is difficult to decide whether the production restoration of  alpaca overcoats will increase profits. More information about different  issues discussed above has to be gathered to assess the strength of the  argument.	结论

bairongUID：3607808

Argument166) The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

写之前参考了老师的提纲和一篇写questions的范文，此篇没有计时。

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
In this  memo, it is recommended that the way of taking fish oil on a daily basis  should be adopt to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.	提出结论
A  number of questions about why East Meria people saw doctors for treating  colds infrequently, the real causes of absences from school and work in West  Meria and the effects of taking fish oil on a daily basis need to be answered  in order to evaluate the argument.	更多问题
para.2
The  first question we need to investigate is why East Meria people saw doctors  for treating colds infrequently.	问题1
While  the memo indicates that eating fish can obviously prevent colds, there are  other scenarios.	其他可能
Maybe  the people there cannot afford visiting the doctor and instead take some OTC  medicine for colds.	细节1
We may  track the sales of OTC medicine for colds to examine the evidence.	检查方法
It is  also possible that people in East Meria exercise more or take vitamin C  everyday, which effectively prevent colds.	细节2
Perhaps  the particular environment of East Meria makes fewer children and adults  vulnerable to colds.	细节3
If  treating colds infrequently did not result from eating fish, the proposal in  the memo would not improve the situation.	结论可能不成立
para.3
The next  question we should address is the real causes of absences from school and  work in West Meria.	问题2
We need  to ask whether medical certificates have been produced for the absences.	细节1
If the  answer was no, colds would possibly become the excuse for absences from  school and work.	结论可能不成立
Then  what are the real causes? The attitudes of students towards learning in  school need to be investigated.	细节2
Likewise, the motivation levels and the  working compensation in West Meria should be gathered.	细节3
It is  likely that workers in West Meria are allowed for many days of absences  during which could be still paid as much as in days of attendance .	解释细节
Again,  if the real cause of absences was not colds, the recommendation would not  lead to desired outcome.	结论可能不成立
para.4
The  final issue we concern about is the effects of taking fish oil on a daily  basis relative to eating fish.	问题3
Because  fish may be a healthy substitute of pork and beef, if people in West Meria  only take fish oil and continue to eat red meat as the main meat, the effects  for enhancing immunity and preventing clods might be reduced.	细节1
On the  other hand, the direct effects of fish oil on preventing colds need to be  examined through control experiment.	细节2
Besides,  fish oil, as a kind of artificial supplement, needs to be scrutinized about  its side effects.	细节3
Maybe  taking fish oil would be unfavorable for health and colds prevention.	结论可能不成立
para.5
In  conclusion, since we do not know the real reasons why East Meria people saw  doctors for treating colds infrequently and why West Meria people absented  from school and work and the effects of taking fish oil on a daily basis, it  is untenable to assert that taking fish oil can prevent colds and lower  absenteeism. More efforts should be made to investigate the real causes and  effects discussed above to reach a convincing suggestion.	结论

bairongUID：3607808

Argument 15）The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.

"Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
The  business manager of HPH argues that replacing butter with margarine had  little influence on their customers based on his interpretations and  explanations of two observations: 1) only 2% of customers complained; 2)  customers did not complain about the replacement according to the  servers.
To  evaluate the argument critically, we need to explore other alternative  explanations for the facts observed and presented.
para.2
Given  the fact that only 2% of the customers complained about margarine used to  replace butter, the manager believes that 98% of the customers are OK with  the replacement.
But  there might be other reasons why complaint rate was only 2%.
For  example, perhaps the only way for the customers to complain about the change  was to speak to the restaurant servers directly, which may make customers  feel reluctant to do for fear of embarrassment or confrontation.
If the  restaurant had a Facebook page accepting the complaints from the customers,  the complaint rate might be much higher.
Indeed,  customers may have already complained about the change in social networking  sites such as Facebook and Twitter, which the restaurant is not fully aware  of.
para.3
Another  possible explanation of the relatively low complaint rate is that the  restaurant has done a decent job overall serving the customers.
The food  was generally delicious and the service was very good.
As a  result, the customers choose not to complain about the change of butter.
But the  lack of complaints should not be interpreted as the customers being satisfied  with the change without stronger evidence to support such an  interpretation.
para.4
As for  the servers’ report of few complaints after failing to deliver the order,  there are also a number of alternative explanations we need to consider.
Maybe  the servers choose to withhold information about the complaints they received  from customer in order to look good to the management of HPH.
More  systematic and independent investigation into the customer satisfaction about  the change of ingredient is necessary to settle the issue.
Such  investigation would help determine whether the customers could not  distinguish butter from margarine or used the term “butter” more  loosely.
para.5
Meanwhile,  for the lack of complaints in both cases, we also need to consider the  possibility that customers decided not to come to HPH for dinner again after  the change about butter.
They simply voted against HPH by their foot  without taking the trouble to lodge a complaint.
We need  to track the customer returning rate before and after the change about butter  to decide if the change has cost the restaurant some customers.
Indeed,  such loss of customers may be more threatening to the restaurant than  complaints as it is harder for manager to recognize the problems when the  customers just gave up the restaurant silently.
para.6
In  conclusion, we need more information about customers’ attitudes towards the  change and a number of other issues to decide which explanations were the  most appropriate for the observed facts.

bairongUID：3607808

ISSUE 91) The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.  

之前写过提纲的一篇，作为自己练习，模仿了范文，目的是熟悉语句和写作思路。
在准备开始写作和正式开始写作之间浪费了很长时间，自责。

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
In  today’s society, technology has dramatically revolutionized the world and  changed people’s lives.	背景
It is  important for us to reflect on the goal of technological advancement and its  consequences.	回应题目
I agree  that the chief function of technology should be to increase people’s  efficiency.	观点
But  whether or not the result of increasing efficiency means more leisure time  depends on the different groups of people in the society and the goal they  have in their life.	按人群讨论
For  groups of people such as researchers and white-collar workers, due to the  characters of their work, they have to work longer time and own less leisure  time.	研究者和白领
The only  group that can enjoy more leisure time as a result of technological  advancement is the retired elderly people.	退休人群
para.2
When it  comes to researchers in higher education, the goal of developing technologies  should be to help them work on research projects more efficiently, which  otherwise makes them enjoy less lesiure time.	主题句
One of  the major challenges of scholars is to keep pace with the increasing amount  of scholarships that are now availabe in digital forms.	背景
Search  engines such as Google Scholar have enabled scholars to access and manage a  large number of research articles efficiently.	回应主题句
Yet, as  a result of such advanced technologies, researchers will not enjoy more  leisure time.	回应主题句
With the  increasing competition among scholars worldwide for research  funding,expectation is high for better research output.	解释
Therefore,  it is likely that researchers have to work longer time to meet such  expectation.	结果
para.3
While  the goal of technological development should increase the efficiency of  white-collar workers,  white-collar  workers will have to own a busier and more stressful life.	主题句
For  example, the goal of developing new telecommunication technologies is to  increase work efficiency.	举例，回应主题句
Through  teleconferencing enabled by the Internet, people can now work from home by  staying in touch with colleagues by microphone and camera, thereby saving the  commuting time and increasing the overall work efficiency.	解释
But  this new development, instead of offering more time for people to enjoy their  leisure activities, threatens to take away the time they should spend with  their families.	回应主题句
After  all, the boundary between workplace and home has been blurred, with the  demand of more work eating away our family time.	解释
para.4
The only  group that actually can enjoy more leisure time as a result of technological  advancement is the retired elderly people.	主题句
For  instance, the advent of Internet has allowed retired elderly people for a  more efficient life.	举例，回应主题句
WebMD,  a popular Internet portal for medical information, allows for old people to  self research symptoms and unnecessary to visit the doctor under certain  circumstances.	解释
The time  they saved will go to their favorite leisure activities such as touring-club,  bridge club or dancing club.	回应主题句，举例
para.5
In  conclusion, I agree that the main goal of technological development is to  increase people’s efficiency in doing different things and save our precious  time. But for most people who have to work and make a living, they would not  be able to enjoy more leisure time but often find themselves working long  hours to keep up with the pace of modern life. Yet, for the retired elderly,  to live in today’s world full of technological innovation is a true blessing  as they can enjoy a great amount of leisure time.	结论

bairongUID：3607808

ISSUE119) When old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

对这个题目讨论的内容缺乏专业知识，借鉴了老师和其他同学的讨论，中文写的思路是：主要观点是是否同意题目观点取决于古建筑的价值，对有历史意义的古建筑和建筑遗产要保护，将现代城市建设与这些古建筑协调；而重复出现的古建筑保留价值不高，甚至有安全隐患，不应保留，否则影响现代人们的生活质量；保护古建筑的目的在于纪念历史和未来更好的发展，如果单纯为了保护古建筑而影响现代生活质量，城市将难以进步。
你好像还没加我微信；汗~~~


这个表格虽然方便逐句点评 但是不太方便我理解你整体的思路 感觉你这篇文章的立论还有问题   一方面语言表达的问题很严重 关键的句子让人读不懂  另一方面立论和支持的论据也有问题 可能这道题还是有点难吧

你首先要想办法写出我能看懂的句子 做不到这一条  就只好拿3分认命了  
所以建议你先修改语言表达的问题  
立论方面多模仿范文吧

订正：
1 The statement recommends that modern development outweighs the preservation of historical buildings that be located on modern regions. 词的用法
2 For those buildings of great historical significance and cultural heritages, we need to preserve them and make modern urban construction harmonize with them. with和of的用法
3 On the other hand, some duplicated old buildings that even have security problems should not be preserved, otherwise the blind presavation would decrease the quality of modern life.
because和while不能跟完整句子要注意！
4 After all, the purpose of protecting historical buildings is to learn from valuable history and create better future; if blindly preserving historical buildings yet impact the quality of life, modern society would hardly make progress. 注意很多时候要加上the purpose of使句子意思完整。
5 We need experts to make judgment on whether a historical building should be preserved, by considering various factors such as historical significance, characteristic culture and so forth.  worth to这个搭配要慎用
6 For example, Forbidden City in Beijing is an apropos symbol of traditional Chinese philosophy, which illustrates its value to be protected. Modern architecture around Forbidden City is designed to follow the united style. 选词搭配
7 For this purpose, historical buildings first need to be classified by authority experts, such as buildings reflecting local characteristic culture, significant celebrities’ residences, buildings with scientific research value and so forth. 有些用法是知道的，写作时要特别小心仔细
8 Through learning knowledge from those valuable historical buildings, we will appreciate our cultural heritage, understand our historical development, and achieve our better future.

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
The  statement recommends that modern development outweighs over the preservation  of historical buildings that locate on modern regions.	题目观点		outweighs over the preservation选词搭配问题 that locate 动词用法
I think  whether giving priority to modern development over historical building  protection depends on the value of historical buildings.	我的观点
For  those buildings with great historical significance and architectural  heritages, we need to preserve them and make modern urban construction  harmonize with them.	有价值的历史建筑		buildings with architectural  heritages 搭配
While  some duplicated old buildings that even have security problems are worthless  to preserve, which otherwise would decrease the quality of modern life.	没有价值的历史建筑		while后面不能跟完整句子   句子结构 which 指代不明
After  all, protecting historical buildings is to memorize valuable history and  create better future; if only preserving historical buildings yet impact the  quality of life, modern society would hardly progress.	保护历史建筑的目的		(the purpose of) protecting historical buildings is to   信息不全 memorize history 搭配 if only 句子结构
para.2
To  begin with, we should preserve historical buildings with great significance  and architectural heritages, at the same time make modern urban construction  harmonize with them.	主题句		选词（用词重复） 句子结构
We need  experts to make judgment on whether a historical building is worth to  preserve by considering various factors such as historical significance,  characteristic culture and so forth.	判断价值		worth to preserve 搭配
Once the  historical building is determined to be preserved, modern planners should focus  on how to make surrounding modern construction harmonize with the historical  building.	回应主题句
For  example, Forbidden City in Beijing is an apropos symbol of traditional  Chinese philosophy, which illustrates its value to be protected. Modern  architecture around Forbidden City is designed to keep united style.	举例		keep - follow the style ... 搭配
Even  the nearby outlet of Starbucks, an extremely modern brand, is decorated like  a Chinese historical building viewed from the outside, which not only  preserves historical heritage but also facilitates modern people’s life.	举例
para.3
However,  I don't deny that some duplicated old buildings that even have security  problems are worthless to preserve, which otherwise would decrease the  quality of modern life.	主题句		are worthless to preserve 汉英直译 which otherwise选词
Some  historical buildings are repetitive and superfluous-too many old houses, too  many old bridges-and even some among them have security problems because of  too long history.	判断没有价值的历史建筑	例子不合适或没有例子
Therefore, we also need experts to identify  these historical buildings and remove them in order to turn into the place  more suitable for modern development, which can improve living standard of  local residents.	回应主题句
para.4
The  purpose of protecting historical buildings is to memorize valuable history  and create better future; if only preserving historical buildings yet impact  the quality of life, modern society would hardly progress.	主题句		句子结构 make progress 选词
For  this purpose, historical buildings are first need to be classified by  authority experts, such as buildings reflecting local characteristic culture,  significant celebrities’ residences, buildings with scientific research value  and so forth.	判断价值		are need 动词用法
Through  learning from those valuable historical buildings, we will appreciate our  cultural heritage, understand our historical development, and achieve our  better future.	回应主题句		这里的learning是指什么 选词
On the  contrary, if the goal of preservation was only to preserve all historical  buildings, the action would waste resources that could have been used for  modern development, which could be harmful to the advancement of modern  society.	回应主题句	和前面的过渡有问题 不太懂你的意思
para.5
In  conclusion, I agree to preserve buildings with great historical significance  and architectural heritages, and disagree to preserve duplicated old  buildings that even have security problems. After all, the final objective of  preservation is for better development of modern society.	结论

TalaghUID：3623477

你好，我来互评啦~

先说说语法~不过我不太擅长语法，如果说错了还请告诉我呀
outweigh不用加over吧
locate是定位于，be located 才是坐落于
whether貌似后面是跟句子
those buildings with great historical significance用of可能更好？
We need  experts to make judgment on whether a historical building is worth to  preserve, by considering various factors such as historical significance,  characteristic culture and so forth.  by前面不用加逗号。
Once the  historical building is determined to preserve, 应该是to be preserved
modern planners should focus  on how make surrounding modern construction harmonize with the historical  building.应该是how to make
不太理解duplicated old buildings是啥

亲的这篇和我的思路蛮像的也，都是分情况讨论。但是我觉得第三个点讲的东西有点和前面重复。可以考虑先申明保护的目标是啥，然后根据这目标说，如果值得保护怎么样，不值得怎么样。我的策略是第三点讲可以维修旧建筑满足新需要，这样保护和发展两点得到协调。

bairongUID：3607808

Argument63)The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.

When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games.

Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities.

Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine.

写作前：看了老师写的提纲。
写作中：计时，第四个假设没写完。这题信息量比较大。
写作后：稍检查了下语句，自己看不出问题了。

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
According  to the editor, athletic competition for children under nine in Parkville  should be discontinued. By citing the examples of injuries, an interview  study and education experts, the editor reaches the above conclusion.	题目结论
A  number of assumptions about injury situation, the distribution of injured  players, the interview study and long practice sessions need to be examined  in order to assess the argument.	需要假设
para.2
To begin  with, the editor assumes that injuries are so server that sport competition  must be suspended.	假设1
Maybe  these injuries are minor and can be cured quickly, which makes stopping sport  training unnecessary.	细节1，结论可能不成立
It is  also likely that enhancing protection measures could decrease the number of  injuries, which may be better than harshly stopping sport competition.	细节2，结论可能不成立
Furthermore,  perhaps the injury rate is not very high compared to other activities.	细节3
So we  should investigate injury situation carefully before making the decision of  stopping sport competition.	进一步检验假设
para.3
Moreover,  it is assumed that the distribution of injured players is even across age  groups, sport categories and cities.	假设2
This  assumption is unwarranted. It is possible that children under nine hardly get  hurt when they take exercises, or they can cover quickly from injuries.	细节1
Thus,  stopping sport competition for children under nine is not necessary.	结论可能不成立
Another  underlying assumption about even distribution of sport categories is also  untested. Maybe some sports such as soccer are major injury sources.	细节2
On the  contrary, athletic sport the editor recommends to stop might not have many  injury cases, which undermines the argument.	结论可能不成立
Besides,  the situation that over 40000 of young players suffered injuries may occur in  several cities, not including Parkville.	细节3
Therefore,  we may continue sport training in Parkville and take some protection  measures.	结论可能不成立
para.4
Another  assumption is that the result of interview study is representative.	假设3
But the  limited scope of study just indicates that it cannot be applied in all  cases.	假设可能不成立
First,  the subject of study is soccer player. Maybe soccer is such a competitive  sport that soccer players suffer huge psychological pressure, but we cannot  assert that other sports have the same situation.	细节1
Second,  the study occurs in several major cities, again, which are not  representative. Perhaps children in Parkville have strong will to face to  challenges.	细节2
Finally,  psychological pressure is not always a bad thing. It is likely that sport  players can learn a lot from difficulties and have better performance than  before.	细节3
para.5
Likewise,  the assumption that long practice sessions would waste time that could be  used for academic activities should be further scrutinized.	假设4
Perhaps  many players do not practice very long sessions.	细节1
On the  other hand, maybe the exercise can improve the health and study efficiency,  and the competitive spirit could motivate the students to study harder as  well.	细节2
para.6
In  conclusion, the argument is harshly reached. We should examine many  assumptions discussed above. If these assumptions do not hold true, the  recommendation will be not accepted.	结论

bairongUID：3607808

ISSUE 78) People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

之前练习过的一篇，学习分析了范文。写得真好，环环相扣，结构齐整，语言也好，流畅，感觉写出来不费力一样。主要目的是熟悉思路，学习好的语言表达方式。

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
The  society as a whole, the attitudes of individuals towards different issues and  immediate situation or enviornment interact with one another to creat complex  human experience as we know. I think that our attitudes are fundamently  shaped by the society through education, media and government policies which  also, to a large extent, determine the situation and surrounding in which we  find ourselves.	主题：社会通过教育、媒体、政府政策形成态度，同时也决定了我们周围的环境。
para.2
To begin  with, education is an important institution that determines our attitudes as  well as our social environment.	教育决定态度和社会环境。
Take the  simple example of priority seating in public transportations.	让座的例子
As  school children, we learned the social norm of offering our seats to those in  need, such as pregnant or sick passengers.	学生学习让座的社会规范
Such  practices are encouraged in our education based on the golden rule:  "Treat people the way you want to be treated."	教育准则鼓励让座行为
Our  attitudes towards our fellow passengers are shaped by this belief developed  through education.	形成态度
Meanwhile,  the society would also make sure the environment reflects the same principle  that is consistent with our attitudes.	同时，社会也确保环境与态度一致
Priority  seats are clearly marked in buses and subway trains to remind us this social  norm.	公车地铁里都有让座标识
In other  words, the society would first shape our attitudes and then design our  environment that faciliate the related practices.	总结，社会先形成态度再设计环境来加速相关的实践。
para.3
Our  attitudes are also determined by society via media.	媒体决定态度。
This is  particular true in today's cutomer-oriented society.	引出干货：消费者导向型社会
Through  extensive advertising campaigns, we are brainwashed into the belief that we  need all the luxurious products and services to be happy.	形成态度（信念）
We  become to believe that our value as human beings is determined by the  material goods we buy as advertised in the media.	进一步说明
Meanwhile,  the society would shape our environment in such a way that shopping and  buying these items is effortless.	同时，社会也形成环境。
The  Amazon's 1-click ordering, for example, enables the online shoppers to place  their orders with just one click without even confirmation.	亚马逊网站的例子：订单不用确认
Such  arrangment in our surrounding, along with the advertising and promotion in  the media, reinforces the attitudes we hold towards consumption.	媒体决定环境和态度的总结。
para.4
Finally,  the society may also influence our attitudes through government policies.	政府政策影响态度
In  recent years, gay marriages have become increasingly acceptable in western  societies as the governments have adopt the more lenient policies towards the  civil unions or marriages of homosexual couples.	例子：同性恋婚姻得到政府政策的支持
Despite  the fierce opposition from certain social groups, the public attitudes  towards gay marriages have gradually changed from hatred or reluctance to  acceptance.	公众态度转变
On the  other hand, the change in government policies also stimulate the industries  for gay romance and wedding.	另一方面，政府政策转变激励相关行业发展
New  products and services become increasingly available for homosexual couples to  celebrate their relationships and bondings.	进一步说明
Again  the social environment would respond to the shift in government policies and  public attitudes.	总结，政府政策影响社会环境和公众态度
para.5
In  conclusion, I do not believe that our attitudes towards different issues are  determined by our immediate surrounding. Rather, our attitudes are shaped by  the larger society through institutions such as education, media and  government, which, at the same time, would shape our social environment and  make sure that it is in harmony with our attitudes and behaviors.	结论

bairongUID：3607808

Argument4) The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.   

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
According  to the author of the letter, it is recommended that her friend should choose  Adams Realty to sell the home because of more full-time agents, higher  average sale prices and quicker rate to sell homes.
A number  of assumptions need to be examined critically to assess the argument.
para.2
To begin  with, it is assumed that Adams that owns more full-time real estate agents  can do better job.
Yet it  is unfair to assume that more full-time agents can sell more homes.
As  part-time agents, they choose to sell homes after their regular work or  study, which indicates that they have strong desire to do jobs in real estate  industry in order to either make more money or cultivate certain ability.
In such  case, it is likely that part-time agents devote themselves to sale jobs more  deeply than full-time agents, so the prior could make better performance in  real estate industry.
para.3
The  author also assumes that higher average sale price shows that Adams can sell  any home better than Fitch.
But the  fact might be that an extremely high sale price of one home could boost the  average sale price while other homes are sold at lower prices.
It is  safer to assume that different sale prices depend on different areas,  different time and different home types.
Maybe  Adams is not good at selling those homes of lower prices and the home of  author's friend is just that kind of lower-price home.
Thus, it  is unwise to choose Adams as the real estate agent.
para.4
Another  assumption is that the real estate agent that can sell one home faster is  suitable to sell the home of author's friend.
First,  it seems that the situation of home sales remain unchanged during the ten  years.
Second,  it is possible that the agent who sells author's home in Adams is better at  the job than the one in Fitch.
But we  cannot assert that the particular agent's ability reflects the whole  company's sale ability.
So we  cannot ensure that Adams Realty is a better choice for selling the home of  author's friend.
para.5
In  conclusion, the argument is harshly reached. We need to gather more  information to test above assumptions. If these assumptions cannot hold true,  we cannot accept the recommendation.

bairongUID：3607808

ISSUE 100) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
Should  colleges and universities require their students to spend at least one  semester studying in a foreign country?	回应题目
I agree  with the requirement for two reasons.	我的观点
First,  it is particularly helpful for students to sharpen their foreign language  skills that can benefit their future careers.	提高语言能力
Second,  higher quality of education in foreign countries can help the students deeply  understand their majors and devote themselves to what they really like to  do.	深入理解专业
As for  the concern about the cost of studying abroad, exchange programs and  scholarships should be offered to make the opportunities of studying abroad  affordable.	财务问题可以解决
para.2
To begin  with, students should be required to study abroad so that they can improve  their proficiency levels of a foreign language.	提高语言能力
This  policy is particularly important for university students from non-English  speaking countries.	对非英语国家学生特别重要
While  they learn English for a long time, they are lack of opportunities to enter  real English-speaking environment and will benefit tremendously from spending  time in an English-speaking country.	之前的问题
Not  only can they get more chance to use English in a daily basis and practice  the language skills with native speakers, they will also become much more  confident users of the language after studying abroad.	留学的好处
With  English skills becoming increasingly important for one’s future career, this  requirement can help students become more marketable and employable.	对事业有利
para.3
The  second reason why I believe this requirement is helpful is that students can  also better understand their majors and do what they really like to do as a  result of higher quality of education in foreign countries.	深入理解专业
Compared  to our education, foreign teachers and schools tend to help the students to  equip the ability in asking questions and pursuing further knowledge about  doubts, rather than limit the thought of the students by educating them with  model answers.	国内外教育对比
So  foreign students show a better ability in managing or solving doubts and make  better understanding of their own majors that they are really interested in.	国外学生的优势
When students study abroad, they can also  learn the new way of facing problems and absorbing knowledge.	留学的好处
The new  perspective that is very valuable may be not possible if students stay in  their home countries for college studies.	不留学就不能享受这个好处
para.4
People  may be concerned with the cost of studying abroad and argue that this  requirement may impose extra financial burden on students and their families.  Here are two ways the concern can be addressed.	财务问题可以解决
First,  the study-abroad program usually takes the form of exchange program. Under  such arrangement, students only need to spend a small amount of money for  studying abroad.	方法一：交换项目
Second,  in many circumstances scholarship and financial aid may be provided to cover  the transportation and living expenses for studying abroad.	方法二：奖学金和财务资助
Through  the financial support of the government and/or the universities, students  with limited financial resources can also have the opportunities to study  abroad.	财务问题可以解决
para.5
In  conclusion, the policy of requiring students to study abroad can provide  valuable opportunities to practice their language skills and pursue their  specific area of career. Meanwhile, exchange programs and financial aid  should be introduced to help students with financial difficulties.	结论

bairongUID：3607808

Argument5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

写作前：看了范文。
写作中：计时内完成。
写作后：修改了语句。

句子	作用	内容点评	句子点评
para.1
According  to the letter, the author argues that, in order to reduce the number of  accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the moped rental companies should  limit the number of mopeds rented in Balmer Island. By citing the experience  in Seaville Island, the author reaches the above conclusion.	回应题目
We need  to answer a number of questions about the sources of mopeds in Balmer, the  actual reasons of accidents and the comparability between Balmer and Seaville  to assess the argument.	更多问题
para.2
To begin  with, we need to ask where the people get mopeds from during the summer in  Balmer.	问题1
Perhaps  the rental companies do not be the only sources of mopeds.	细节1
Maybe  the local residents own mopeds privately and some tourists bring their own  mopeds along.	其他可能
In  addition, if mopeds are really fun to ride, young people who could not rent  the mopeds might buy one.	其他可能
These  possible scenarios discussed above would make the policy fail to prevent  people from riding mopeds.	结论可能不成立
On the  other hand, we need to know whether the number of mopeds rented currently  exceeds 25 per day during the summer season.	细节2
If the  current number of mopeds rented is too small, the proposal would not result  in the decreasing number of mopeds.	结论可能不成立
para.3
We  should also consider the question about the actual causes of traffic  accidents in Balmer.	问题2
If the  accidents were mainly caused by the increasing number of mopeds on the  street, the proposed policy for reducing the number of mopeds could be  helpful.	结论成立的条件
But if  the accidents might be due to the recklessness of a small number of moped  riders, it makes no sense to restrict the application for rentals.	细节1
In this  case, what needs to do is to launch enough safety education for all moped  riders.	其他可能
para.4
Another  question we need to ask is whether the situation in Balmer is comparable to  that in Seaville.	问题3
It is  understandable the author hopes to learn from the successful experience of  Seaville.	愿望是好的
But it  is possible that the main sources of mopeds and the actual causes of accident  reduction in Seaville are very different compared to those in Balmer.	其他可能
First,  maybe most mopeds were provided by the rental companies in Seaville, as a  result, the restriction on rentals was effective.	细节1
But this  might not be the case for Balmer.	结论可能不成立
Besides,  the real reasons of reduction in moped accidents may be caused by rigorous  safety education.	细节2
It is  also possible that the number of tourists visiting Seaville decreased last  year, accordingly reducing the use of mopeds and the number of accidents  caused by mopeds.	细节3
If we  did not know the concrete situation in Seaville, we could not harshly take  the similar action in Balmer.	结论不能被草率接受
para.5
In  conclusion, in order to determine if the recommendation will help reduce the  number of accidents, we need to collect more information to answer the  questions raised above.	本文结论