5.8gre 二战 求作文互批小组

3254UID: 3700993

5.8 求相近场的小伙伴 求互相监督互批作文 求打破零回复 我先来一篇issue

先来一点提纲
Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.
是非题
提正：竞争给人们带来好处---物质财富、灿烂文明
求反：竞争的有害性----人性丑恶的一面、使人沦为竞争的奴役
合：depends；重定义

elsa.liUID: 3622209

欢迎加入寄托！
此帖帮你移到作文版，希望找到小伙伴。

若如此UID: 3649064

这个提纲是不是简洁了点呢? 貌似没体现出大致思路~

可以加上e.x.和思路

3254UID: 3700993

若如此 发表于 2016-3-16 18:59
这个提纲是不是简洁了点呢? 貌似没体现出大致思路~

可以加上e.x.和思路

谢谢！我手机码了一下，能帮我看看么~

        As the rapid development of technology ,the world's distance  has been shrinked simultaneously connection has been strengthened. It has become the trend that we emphasize and appreciate cooperation between countries to reach a better result. However, when it comes to competition,  people seem to hold an equivocal attitude. From my perspective, we cannot jump into a conclusion that competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental without any determiner. Whether the benefits overweighes the detriments depends on what kind of situation we are discussing on.
     There is no doubt that competition plays an essential role in achieving what we human beings can enjoy today ranging from what we eat to what we use. It is a bit of horrifying but true-the power of competion penetrates into our lives so deeply that we may even not realize it.Take an easy example,  no smart phone will occur if it was not companies urges to attract coustomers.Without rivals, our market will be in disorder  and uncontrollable because monopolization will occur; Without competition, our civilization will stands still     due to no motivation to move forward.
       Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the negative side of competition. I bet most of us see the news that one staff murdered another for a promotion or something like that.It happens cause competition can spur the dark side of people.  And if we extend the promotion to the inclination of customers,things go worse. Pursuing to high sales, companies will sometimes cut their expense by introducing harmful ingredients which are chronic. That means we may not even notice it in a short time and will not blame our later symptoms to it. When the mania dominates in our mind, what damages we are capable of bringing to can even go beyond our imagination.
    Every coin has two sides. Thus, there is no abolute answer in treating competition. Which side will the competition bring to us depends on what kind of situation we set and how we apply it.  

3254UID: 3700993

好久没写过作文了，一战时也没练过作文，作文只拿了三分……然后最近看了新gre5.5，按照正反合的方式写的，但是最后一段不大会写，感觉写不出来什么东西了……请教一下各位写完合这段还需要再总结么？ 还有是不是文章里得有具体的例子，不能大白话的写?

若如此UID: 3649064

3254 发表于 2016-3-16 21:40
好久没写过作文了，一战时也没练过作文，作文只拿了三分……然后最近看了新gre5.5，按照正反合的方式写的， ...

1. Issue是可以正反合写法, 但是想一下, 最高境界的writing是什么? 是不受拘束的表达自己的意思.  当合的时候写不出来什么的时候, 就可以想下正反反或者反反正之类的, 反正你的 叙述/ 推理过程要完整, 逻辑完整表达清晰就好..

2. 最后一段来个In conclusion, 把首段你的总论点和分论点 进行整合改写

3. 大白话? 例子最好得有2个以上, 不一定高大上的名人.. 切合题意为好, 可以写你身边的人/事

若如此UID: 3649064

3254 发表于 2016-3-16 21:38
谢谢！我手机码了一下，能帮我看看么~

        As the rapid development of technology ,the world's ...

感觉你最后一段只是写了套话上去,没写内容.

你先在提纲列好你想写什么再下手,

比如写 这个Issue很复杂, 不能一概而论/ 分情况讨论. competition有好处, 也有坏处, 然后什么情况怎么对待 etc.

韩大华UID: 3705536

同是5.8考生。。。话说我还没开始搞作文，完全没计划现在