ISSUE93

tabatabayeUID: 144761

93. "The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

Nowadays, the concept of "individual responsibility" is a subject of increasing public concerns. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the author's first contention-individuals should be required to take responsibilities for their own actions. However, I do not agree with his second contention, and I believe people's behavior is partly influenced by forces, rather than largely determined.

To begin with, in this era of rapid social and technological changes leading to more life complexes, the concept of organizational management has emerged and is becoming more and more manifest. Organizational management rests on the assumption that individuals as members within a particular community should and can hold responsibilities in accordance with their specific role in the organizational structure. To some extent, the organization of society is analogous to that of a private entrepreneur. In an entrepreneur, there are managers, employees, checkers and foreman, and every body is assigned respectively with a specific job. Those inferior employees have the very obligations and responsibilities to work sedulously, and obey the rules of compartment managers. During his work, he is checked by those administers, such as checkers and foreman, and his behavior is reported to someone else. Unless he behaves in a loyal and responsive manner toward his job, it's very likely that he will get little dividend or even lost his job during the violent competition. Similarly, within a nation or a society, every body is confined to the laws and institutions, and be watched and controlled accordingly by the police and government executive branches, which are analogous to those administrative employees in a firm, to make sure that citizens’ behavior will not do harm to the national security and social stable. Therefore, in this sense, every individual who work and live in a society has to take his individual responsibilities correspondingly, both for his personal development and the social progress.

As for the author's second contention, I admit that in some cases, the individual's actions are influenced by social forces, but it’s too far away to say largely determined. As a matter of fact, when facing with problems, even those acute ones, there are often considerable a mount of feasible solutions. Thus, individual has to take his responsibility to search a best one, at least a legal one, which not only benefit themselves but also avoid detriments to his community or society. Consider the case of the most recent rising number of criminals, some of whom claimed that their illegal behaviors are influenced greatly by the deterioration of social morality and those television programs fraught with violence and pornography. However, if we look inside many of these cases, we may find their criminal behaviors are mainly due to their lack of self-emotional control and deficiencies of personality, rather than the social influences. Given these facts, it seems reasonable to conclude that those behaviors which bring negative effects to our society are partly influenced by external forces, and chiefly determined by the individual himself.

Admittedly, considering that individuals as social animals, who are molded in the social environments in which they grow up, governments also have obligation to construct and maintain a social environment contribute to the healthy growth of the individuals. As mentioning above, governments should invest considerable significance to pure our television programs, to enhance general education level and to ensure a low unemployment rate, all of which would decrease those negative forces on individuals and contribute greatly to out social stable and progress.

To conclude, while we emphasize the necessities of individual responsibilities, we should also draw our attention to government's effort to eliminate those negative effects on individuals. In other words, when individuals and governments both hold their own responsibilities, can our society flourish.

zhangbaokeUID: 158124

大体看了一下，相当好了
明天把改的发上来！！！！

zhangbaokeUID: 158124

Nowadays, the concept of "individual responsibility" is a subject of increasing public concerns. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the author's first contention-individuals should be required to take responsibilities for their own actions.(不应完全同意，因为据下文，individual responsibility不仅为 a fiction) However, I do not agree with his second contention, and I believe people's behavior is partly influenced by forces, rather than largely determined.

To begin with, in this era of rapid social and technological changes leading to more life complexes（complexity）, the concept of organizational management has emerged and is becoming more and more manifest. Organizational management rests on the assumption that individuals as members within a particular community should and can hold responsibilities in accordance with their specific role in the organizational structure. To some extent, the organization of society is analogous to that of a private entrepreneur. （这一句用的太好了，概括了你要说的两个层面）In an entrepreneur, there are managers, employees, checkers and foreman, and every body is assigned respectively with a specific job. Those inferior employees have the very obligations and responsibilities to work sedulously, and obey the rules of compartment managers. During his work, he is checked by those administers, such as checkers and foreman, and his behavior is reported to someone else. Unless he behaves in a loyal and responsive manner toward his job, it's very likely that he will get little dividend or even lost his job during the violent competition. Similarly, within a nation or a society, every body is confined to the laws and institutions, and be watched and controlled accordingly by the police and government executive branches, which are analogous to those administrative employees in a firm, to make sure that citizens’ behavior will not do harm to the national security and social stable. Therefore, in this sense, every individual who work（s） and live（s） in a society has to take his individual responsibilities correspondingly, both for his personal development and the social progress.

As for the author's second contention, I admit that in some cases, the individual's actions are influenced by social forces, but it’s too far away to say largely determined. As a matter of fact, when facing with problems, even those acute ones, there are often considerable a mount of feasible solutions. Thus, individual has to take his responsibility to search a best one, at least a legal one, which not only benefit themselves but also avoid detriments to his community or society. Consider the case of the most recent rising number of criminals, some of whom claimed that their illegal behaviors are influenced greatly by the deterioration of social morality and those television programs fraught with violence and pornography. However, if we look inside many of these cases, we may find their criminal behaviors are mainly due to their lack of self-emotional control and deficiencies of personality, rather than the social influences. Given these facts, it seems reasonable to conclude that those behaviors which bring negative effects to our society are partly influenced by external forces, and chiefly determined by the individual himself.

Admittedly, considering that individuals as social animals, who are molded in the social environments in which they grow up, governments also have obligation to construct and maintain a social environment contribute to the healthy growth of the individuals. As mentioning above, governments should invest considerable significance to pure our television programs, to enhance general education level and to ensure a low unemployment rate, all of which would decrease those negative forces on individuals and contribute greatly to out social stable and progress.

To conclude, while we emphasize the necessities of individual responsibilities, we should also draw our attention to government's effort to eliminate those negative effects on individuals. In other words, when individuals and governments both hold their own responsibilities, can our society flourish.

结构上很完整，语言也非常好，
就是在第一段organizational management上用了太多的语言，
这些时间还可再论述一个层面（比如，在某些情况下，人不受individual responsibility 约束，军人， 精神病人等）
写得很好，还是多帮别人改吧