issue同主题写作-第一类 8月8日-9日

游离雨UID: 3816551

完整题目
26.The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

用了第三种方法：对people进行大多数人和少数人的一种分类，，然后前面luxuries and conveniences分别对应两种情形，一是富裕生活，一是技术发展。

我的提纲如下
开头段全文：
As the course of modernization progresses rapidly, the contemporary life is characterized by great abundance in substance and tremendous development in technology. Under such background, some people maintain that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary living keep people from growing into truly strong and independent individuals. As for me, I partly agree with this opinion since I think the independent thinking abilities of most people would decline due to the rich material life and a fraction of other people are able to get out of the “comfort zone” and develop into hardy individuals.

TS1:
Most People tend to pursue immediate gratifications brought by a variety of cultural productions, which has created an illusion of happiness.
example：The rise of cultural industries, like video games, soap opera, webcast.

TS2:
Most people repeat the same work day by day as a result of mechanization , which has become the shackle of their development.
example：Repeat the copy and paste work on the Internet.

TS3:
People who are not content with simple entertainment or repetitive work would endeavor to explore more possibilities about the world and themselves.
example：The rebellion of the American youth in the 60s.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑 :
1、对于luxuries and conveniences的具体定义，具体情境不知道怎么定位才是比较好的。文中采取的定位并不很完善。
2、对于people的分类的这种让步，没有让回来，相当于还是正反两面都说了，但自己本人会比较倾向于这种答案，不知道这样是否合适。

我的点评：6楼
1、开头直接把题目中的people换成了students不知是否合适呢？而且后面将people分成students with great self-motivation, engineers and scientists这三类好像也不构成一个分类体系？
2、可能我们共同的困惑就是 luxuries and conveniences 到底该如何定位情境吧。

MorfireUID: 3747042

132  Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction. Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  分类，具体来说，......
分类：和什么样的人交互？陌生人，一般朋友，极好朋友
让步：降低质，增加量（陌生人）
朋友：减轻负担（精力时间）
极好朋友：加强联系：距离不是问题

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
Compared to the past when we took pains to keep in touch with each other by means of horses, doves, and posters, with the one-click email or instant communication apps, we now can connect with others consuming less money and time. Although all things come with both bad and good side, I strongly take the position that technology benefits us more in terms of communication, depending on who we communicate with.

主题句1
Admittedly, we tend to spending much more time on people we are not familiar with or even not ever acquainted with through Twitter or Facebook, observing their everyday life that are not relevant to us, just because it is easy and quick to chat online.  
具体例子或细节: meaningless small talk; more followers and following but less deep talk; immersed in cyber world--less time on people around you

主题句2
However, technology reduces our time wasting in conveying information, releases us from the postage, and free us from worrying about whether they have received the message. I am willing to experience this with rare intimate friends, but speaking of normal friends, I might just give up communication without convenient technology.
具体例子或细节: more interaction—enhance friendship; more info—know better

主题句3
Last, technology allows us to increase the frequency we chat with intimate friends, and physical distance is no longer a problem.
具体例子或细节: no tech—still contact but less—friendship may end; with tech—chat more—feel closer.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑:
分类混乱，一会将3类朋友，一会又讲便利度……杂糅的过程挺失败的。
例子……想不出除了自己的例子。


我来点评其他网友
楼层： 19

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
开头段讲的是与其利用省下的时间无所事事，不如做以下三种有意义的事。但是题目关注的事科技的目标应不应该为“给人们节省时间”，所以开头段应该再绕回去扣一下题目？
三个主题句：可以有时间完成更多的事、学习感兴趣的东西、与人交流。个人觉得第一点不是闲暇，用这个作为最后一点会比较好。


2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。不过观点1的ex1好像不太需要？这个只讲了科技怎么使人更快解决问题。

3）____网友语言方面有哪些问题？  
It is reasonable that people spend the time, being saved from using advanced technologies, idly.
不太确定。插入语的主语是time，但是主句的主语不是啊，所以应该不能这么说？

more variety  ies？

learn hobbies 不能这么说吧

woakaUID: 3828817

完整题目

109) Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，make classification of key terms in the issue statement，具体来说，我将scientific discoveries分为物理学，生物学以及社会科学。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
During the past one hundred years or so, a lot of scientific rules have been discovered and explosive development in science has been made. When it comes to progress of the condition of humanity all over the world, there are always a host of different opinions held by different individuals from different areas. Have, you may wonder, the developments of science contributed to promoting our understanding of the world? Admittedly, many people would consider that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realized. However, as a whole effect in general, scientific discoveries have in fact, lead to a significant promotion of our understanding of the world around us.

主题句1
There is no doubt that the numerous scientific discoveries in physics provide us with an unprecedented perspective to observe the world and better understand the world. Take optical theory for example. Before the optical theory based space telescope and microscope were invented, the vast universe and the imperceptible microscopic world are always puzzles for mankind, we seldom understand them except some myths and legends. Application of these science and technology, new scientific rules continue to be discovered to verify the scientists’ hypotheses, and refine their theories.

主题句2
The discoveries in biology which help us reexamine the mankind itself, as well as the relationship between humans and other species, are also contributed to promoting our understanding of the world. Genetics theory, for example, reveals that humans are not the only well-designed creatures. Although the gene sequence is complex, its role and mechanism are constantly being studied and found.

主题句3
In addition to natural science, social sciences also brought the public many knowledges about how the society worked and provide a reference for our development. Although problems in social development are diverse and complex in different economic and cultural environment, sociological theory can provide meaningful guidance for their solution.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
1.        本来想物理学生物学总的写为自然科学，但是再提出第三类就觉得有点困难。不知道这样安排是否妥当（因为自己觉得前两种分类与第三种比较起来有些不太平衡）。
2.        是否满足题目中” address both of the views presented”的要求,(自己在每一段均有表示问题尽管很复杂，但是总能有途径被解决或者被研究明白)
3.        写的好艰难，得多练习和积累了！

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 10

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
总体的框架我觉得不错。最后增加一段，把针对的人群分为科学家和普通人，论述了一下第二个观点的适用范围也不是不可以，但是既然开头段是正向态度的话全文应该都是统一的，话题还是应该回归到表示科学可以帮助人们理解世界，否则就应该修改第一段。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
TS1，TS2从两个大学科的角度阐释科学（及科学发现）如何帮助我们更好的理解这个世界，TS2中让步，表明虽然自然科学中的理论让大众很难理解但是它的成果可以对我们看这个世界提供帮助，满足题目中” address both of the views presented”的要求。TS3中提出科学思维对我们理解世界的帮助，我觉得这个角度很出彩。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
感觉开头段阐述了科学的重要性，但是并没有明显的把话题落到科学是帮助我们理解世界呢，还是让我们觉得这个世界更复杂这个问题上来。语言方面没啥问题。

阿之UID: 3452972

完整题目
Issue 91
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1910491-1-1.html
The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种，By considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts.
具体来说，设定科技的确可以节省时间，但是人们用这个时间做什么，却不是一个固定的答案。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
It is reasonable that people spend the time, being saved from using advanced technologies, idly. However, the reasons for pursuing technological advancement could have more variety than just have the time to relax. With better technologies, people can have the time and chance to solve more social problems, enrich themselves, or spend more time to build emotional connections with families and friends.

主题句1
With technologies, government can save time and money, and use them to solve other problems.
        Example1: DMV using internet services for mighty issues such as the change of address, renew licenses, or renew car plates. Therefore, people with more urgent problems could get their problems solved quicker. (too concrete?)
        Example2: police officers can pull out criminal records quicker, broadcast criminal information (such as Amber alert) wider, which increase the efficiency of work. This give police officers more time in solving criminal case instead of spending time to pull history and related information for the case.

主题句2
For people who are eager to learn more, they can use the time to improve their work, or learn a secondary hobby.
        Example1: when people are not satisfied with their current work, with the time saved from using advanced technologies, they have more time to learn additional courses to improve themselves for promotion, or finding another job.
        Example2: With the time saved, people can also learn hobbies online. Technologies even provide different ways of learning, such as online painting courses.

主题句3
In addition to solving social problems and enrich people themselves, some people also find it’s meaning to spend the time to build emotional relationships with people around them.
        Example1: building up relationship with friend.
        Example2: have the opportunities to spend more with your family instead of work.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑：
觉得第三点不够强……有点担心建立情感联系也被考虑为leisure time
-
拜读了一下老师的文章，感慨颇深。一开始的思路和老师相似，但是写出来整体的逻辑却差得多。
1. 第三点不够强，可以作为让步段。
2. 在写自然段的时候，可以时刻加强否认正在反驳的观点。
3. Scholar, white collar, and retired old people are much, much, better and clearer examples.

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 16

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
先对于本身现在文章的框架而言，我觉得开头段没有很好的代表每个topic sentence. 开头段如果最后一句写成，例如，because it is human nature to pursue instant satisfaction and a large fraction of people only work on repetitive jobs everyday, I agree that ... However, there is also a small fraction of people ... 可能会更加切合内容。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
我有点不太明白第三个例子……如果是a small fraction of people，怎么能用一代人（整个美国60年代）来作为例子？可能几个杰出的名人，比如Steven jobs, mark zuckerberg, 再强调这些人的少数比较合理？（也有可能我没看懂例子TAT）

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
“...living keep people from growing into...” should be "keeps"
“...and a fraction of other people...” and可能换成but更好
我觉得background info有点多……但是不确定这样是不是好事儿~

LynnHanUID: 3788778

Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction. Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种 ，对key items:human interaction进行分类（原因：human interaction较为抽象）具体来说：information exchange,working cooperation,emotional contact.
前两段支持观点2：how technology benefit human interaction，第三段对观点1进行让步。

我的提纲如下

TS：Many of us have expressed the following statement,or some variation on it,during our daily life and work:”Communication are getting easier these days!”Right now we are sitting the golden age of technology,using it all the time to interact with people and environment surrounded.Definitely,with the utilization of various products such as instant messaging,internet technology,people may have links with families,friends or even society in a more efficacious and vivid ways.Nevertheless,I suppose that technology has isolated and distracted us,essentially transforming us into individuals focusing on scale of phone screens and thus paying less attention to interaction in reality world.


ts1-The utilization of technlogy enables people to communicate with more efficiency and creativity,especially in fields of information exchanging.
eg-e-mail  wechat  skype  

ts2-However,people rely more on technology products while  excessive use surely impairs ablities of face to face communication,and cause reluctant to interation in reality
eg-working coorperation.(In companies.timely communication，brain storm.


Ts3-Furthermore,there are tendency witnessed,that nowadays people spent less time on families for friends.Rather than a real hug or chat,they prefer to staring at their phones.
eg.emotional contact(Families and friends.


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑 :
感觉反向不是很好写啊。。。如果支持观点1的话会容易些很多，但是事实上我是支持观点2的。求建议啊啊~~~另外感觉自己积累的真的挺少的，赶紧积累起来。

wanghaitao199391UID: 3704441

完整题目26
The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

使用了提出一种新concept的方法：我们不需要担心自己变得不强大和不独立。因为首先能创造出并且正在创造奢侈和便利生活的人就是那些强大又独立的人，其次今天的便利生活在很多方面帮助我们越来越强大和独立，最后如果把不强大和不独立归因为生活本身是不坚定的表现。

我的提纲如下：
开头段：Lliving in a world enjoying many conveniences and luxuries of technology, more and more people are afraid to be less and less strong or independent. I think it is an unnecessary worry for three reasons. First, since any technology development we are making can be owed to the truly independent and strong persons, then we have no reason to be not strong.What’s more, physically and mentally, conveniences of modern life have already contributed to helping us achieve more and more independent in more ways. Finally, if luxuries of contemporary life makes a weaker man, the problem exist not in life, but the man himself.

TS1 First technology development we are making today can be owed to the truly independent and strong persons because the process of bring conveniences and luxuries into our life is our instinct of survival.

TS2 What’s more, physically and mentally, conveniences of modern life have already helped us achieve more and more independent.

TS3 Last but not least,if there’s something that prevent human beings from being strong and independent, lacking of these to personality should not be the result of contemporary life.

对于这个提纲我感到困惑：
1.该用哪些例子来支持才显得有说服力，我没想好。
2.没有让步一下，承认原文说的有道理是不是不行。

Stacey_sueUID: 3777358

26.The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  对key term进行分类。 具体内容为将people分为students, scientists, engineers。

开头段全文：
Some people may believe that modern hardly develop their own abilities and spirits by the impeding of the luxuries and conveniences. However, it’s definitely wrong in my opinion. The conveniences like a tool to make the life easier and the luxuries also like a tool to make the spirit healthier. They came out to help the life a lot and take a vital role in the life for kinds of people like students, scientists, engineers.

主题句1
The conveniences and luxuries help the students pay more attentions on their interests which give the students more time to study various ways to develop independent individuals.
具体例子或细节
A survey result showed that more top scorers from the middle classes or above.

主题句2
Scientists can use the conveniences to find the new aspect which can not be discovered before and the luxuries to find new idea.
具体例子或细节
With the developments, Elon Musk get great life and then made technological innovation come out like TESLA.

主题句3
For engineers, the conveniences and luxuries also take the development smoothly.
具体例子或细节 LEI JUN push the MI become the top 5 largest smartphone sellers around the world by the conveniences and luxuries.


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
这是我一战的issue题目，再次拿来看的时候会发现考场上写的时候的好多问题QAQ。
这篇大纲是站在完全反对题目的角度表达的，非常强烈的反对。
如何让例子体现出强烈而又有独立的人格我觉得这一点比较难，例子虽然有想表达这种感觉，可是具体表现的时候不知道怎么去做。
关于结构，我是想举一个反例，没有conveniences和luxuries的不好之处，可是前面又分了三类人群，此时再加反例是不是没有针对性就有点泛泛而谈的缺点，如果想加，应该怎么加呢？

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 18楼
1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
总体框架合理，将科学分为三种方面，我个人认为如果觉得三种写起来比较困难的话可以选择不写，只分两类，把两类例子写详细。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
TS1提出了光学带给人们观察世界的可能性，例子可以再详细一些，可以提具体的事迹和成就，比如说地心说理论的推翻。
同理TS2和TS3，TS2个人觉得可以写具体某种疾病的发生和预防的方法和人类认识自身有密切联系，比如肺痨。TS3社会科学我个人没有想起什么具体的例子orz 23333。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
啊啊啊语言是我的一大弱项，我觉得层主的语言没什么问题，挺棒的。开头得提一下分的三类，有一个总述我觉得好一些。

第一次寄托发帖:$:$

wanghaitao199391UID: 3704441

我来点评20楼LynnHan同学的提纲：
1.框架是否合理？

合理。个人觉得开头段引号里的话要是用第一人称说出来的会更有说服力，更能开宗明义。

你的TS2明显更有说服力，要是大部分来写反面，反面是不是要放前面重点写，把正面的放后面稍微写一下就行了。

2.例子怎么样？

来源于生活，比较能发挥。

3.语言

我也遇到了和你一样的情况，话到嘴边说不出来，还是写得少吧  共勉~

MaggieLLLLLLUID: 3827790

Issue 26
The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
       
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  from different perspectives, 分身体上和精神上，精神上有分两个方面，一个是关于信息的接收更全面使人更能独立思考，一个是关于自己的想法的表达更自由从而能影响其他人

我的提纲如下


Intro: Technological development has brought us a brand new lifestyle by offering extensive luxuries and convenience that was considered as unrealistic fancies in the past, some even become an indispensable part of our life just at our finger tips. With more and more reliance on these high-tech products, some people argue that it hinders us from developing into true strong and independent individuals. However, from my perspective, it really depends on specific situations. While physically it may holds true, it is not the case when considering people’s independence spiritually as it not only enables us to absorb more information and knowledge based on our free will but also empower us to disseminate our own ideas to the outside world.

TS1: It is widely accepted that people’s ability to live without technological products has been greatly deteriorated.
Without electricity to charge our computer and mobile phones, people may have great trouble to study, to work and even communicate with others. Though the advancement of technology surely improve productivity all around various industry such as agriculture, clothing, architecture, tourism and so on, it is no doubt that some skills that people used to master in the past has long gone nowadays. Embroidery… Many youngsters don’t know how to cook…

TS2: However, the development of technology surely has broadened our horizons. The advancement of printing industry provided more people the opportunity to read and lay the foundation to receive education. Moreover, it hugely reduces our reliance on the governors who used to only provide information that they want their citizens to know because of the rapid pace of information dissemination on the internet……
We can even see for ourselves given that moving from one place to another will never be a bother with just a single flight……

TS3: Furthermore, technology facilitate us to express our true thoughts and thereby influence people all around the world.
The power of word-of-mouth… gay and lesbian hold digital movement on social media…

To conclude, although it is true that people have greater and greater reliance on technology physically but it is not the case to say that people are being less strong and independent. Because with more information flooding in and more opportunities to sending out information, people are able to think more critically and independently, thus becoming stronger spiritually.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑:
关于精神上更独立我分了这两个方面，但不知道是否合适这样展开写，不知道大家和王老师有没有更好的思路，欢迎指正！




我来点评其他网友
楼层： 20

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
我觉得这个框架挺合理的，但是我觉得ts2和ts3那个框架最好不是只在栗子里出现，而是在ts中就概括道比较好吧，因为我乍一看ts2和3有些小重复

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
栗子我觉得还不错，就是第三个我觉得可以在有一些证据可以支撑without actual hug and physical interaction, 人们的 emotional contact 真的减少了，因为有些人可能觉得通过social media也可以做到很好的emotional contact

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
总觉得咱们中国人写作文都很难写到不chinglish（我也是。。。积累有限啊）但我觉得通顺是最重要的！

改了名字你们就认不出我了UID: 3670039

109)Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realized.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种。
首先同意第一种观点，通过事实进行论证。
然后肯定第二种观点也有其可取之处，在某些情况下是成立的。（让步段）
最后阐述这两种观点其实并不矛盾，并且点出第二种观点恰巧是第一种观点的某种特质的体现。从而抛出我个人的看法更倾向于第一个。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文
What did scientific discoveries bring? It’s a better understanding of the world or more complexity？ Due to the intricacy and ambiguity of this topic, both of the two statements can be plausible from some aspects.

TS1: The conclusion that scientific discoveries have provided us better understanding of the world is easy to draw by simply looking at the state-of-the-art equipments around us.
Eg1: people won’t feel frightened when they saw the lightning since we already figured out the principle of lightning formation and even apply this principle into daily use.
Eg2: other aspects

TS2: However, some people may hold the opinion that scientific discoveries revealed the complexity of the world. They claim that the mission of scientific discoveries is to explain the world with more detailed information.
Eg: take the example of lightning again. In ancient times, people will simply own it to mythology. But now people find there is lots of information behind it waiting for us to solve and it’s impossible for us to choose ignoring them at certain stage.

TS3: Actually, there is certain linkage between these two mainstream statements. The fact is scientific discoveries bring us better understanding of the world by revealing the complexity.
Eg1: physical science.
Eg2: so is the social science.
So personally speaking, I’m more inclined to agree with the first statement.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
写了之后翻了以下别的同学的回答，大家更多的将科学或者人进行分类讨论，感觉这样的写法有点类似于托福作文，很清晰简洁，思路也很顺畅。反观我的回答，会感觉更模糊暧昧，也不太好展开写。后来思考了一下，我可能会着重去写主题句3，用一些更详尽的例子阐述他们之间的关联。（我好像想太多写跑题了……）

我来点评其他网友
楼层：18

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
比较多的去写我方的观点，对另外一方的观点是在例子当中体现的。虽然两个观点均有涉及，但从框架的角度去看，我会觉得复杂性属于细节的部分，而不是框架中的一环。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子符合每段要写的学科，感觉还是很丰富恰当的。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
要表达的观点很清楚，在最后一句直接点了出来。只是前面的话有点长，感觉有些句子可以整合到一起去。语言方面没有什么问题。

大田点点十UID: 3705449

Stacey_sue 发表于 2017-8-9 13:59
26.The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly stro ...

完整题目
26. The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，对key term进行分类讨论。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
I agree that a lot of people are not strong and independent themselves because of the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life. Yet, it does bring to us a lot of benefits and advantages that we have not experienced before and helps such people as diligent students, factory workers, and travelers to be more strong and independent.

TS1:
For students having strong motivations to learn new knowledge and expand their views, they do not have to merely rely on teachers and library that are not always accessible. The Internet and digital library are so convenient to be their tools and help students have independent study and develop the strong learning ability.

TS2：
Nowadays we have a lot of inventions to make our works easier and convenient. With the assistance of machine robots, a factory worker is able to deal with multiple missions that are usually completed by several people. The machine robots set them free from low efficiency and dependent work pattern.

TS3:
As a representative product of contemporary life, automobile definitely brings a lot of conveniences to our life. For travelers who are interested in seeing different views and experiencing life, they do not have to rely on public transportation or limited by distance and time. An automobile helps them to have any kind of trip whenever they want.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑 :
好久没有动笔写作文，各方面都跟不太上，尤其是思路和分类举例讨论上，感觉不是很compelling，希望以后经过锻炼熟练的掌握写作思路，在举例方面开拓下思维。

我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 24

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理，先用一个例子让步再用另外俩个表达，强化自己的观点。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
我觉得挺合适，尤其对精神方面分类的讨论，其实是一种知识上的strong and independent, 一种是心智上的。
然后receive education 和express true thoughts这俩个借助contemporary convenience的例子很棒, 最后一个例子可以再想下如何使人们independent（没错,勇于表达想法是一种strong）

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
很好，有点题，有让步，有表达自己观点。语言水平很好，要多向层主学习！

grace93UID: 3829168

选题：43 The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

下定义并拆分不同情境。下定义是快速的生活是由什么因素促成的，科学的发展，政治的高效，文明的先进，再分别从三层入手阐述这些因素解决了什么问题。

Nowadays，the world is experiencing a high-speed moving-forward. From the development of science, the efficiency of political process to the advancement of culture and civilization.，these elements mentioned above are all contributed to the such increasing rapid pace of life today. Surely, I agree with the viewpoint that these elements made some problems tangible and inevitable to us, such as science can never ever solve ethics problems, politics always comes with inequality and civilization are always uneven in region. But our life pace are changing to a mode of well-ordered and positive-going in a large extent.

TS1
Science keeps catalyzing capital currency, cooperation and communication. Hardly to imagine that I can sit in my own dorm room within 10 square meters shopping, learning and chatting with my friends located far across the Pacific Ocean without the invention of technic devices and the Internet. …….
TS2
Political efficiency based on wise creation and update provides us a sense of liberation and participation which arrests increasing amount of people in the framework of development, and it will necessarily conciliate some disruptions and conflicts in a peaceful way…….
TS3
High productivity, supported by the development of science and technology, may liberate people from traditional work and focus more on the theme of advance civilization. That will lay a counterforce to stimulate the improve our eco-society.

小白第一次来，严格意义上说这也是我写的第一篇作文提纲，希望老师和伙伴们多多指正帮助。

我来点评其他网友
楼层：

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
并列框架，重复论证，我感觉有我可以学习的地方


2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子单体的compelling还好，不过感觉楼上是理工科吗……再用一些人文的例子会不会语势更强。


3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
感觉一些语序有点奇怪，比如bring sb sth 就可以了，to完全可省

芸乔UID: 3596115

完整题目

33) As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and mysterious.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  讨论key term，具体来说，......

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
Since the proto-scientific times (for example, in ancient Greece), human beings have been devoting themselves to understanding the natural phenomena, the human body, and the outside universe, and have made considerable achievements. Among the celebration of these significant achievements, there is a voice that as people possessing the knowledge, things become more complex and mysterious rather than more comprehensible. However, the statement mixes up the comprehensibility and the complexity in some way.

主题句1
Firstly, it is necessary to define what the “things” are. Things that had been fully-understood should be distinguished from those remain mysterious.
具体例子或细节
Cured smallpox vs. uncured cancers

主题句2
It should also be noticed that it is not because of human’s advanced knowledge that makes things more complex, but because of the fact that things are indeed mysterious themselves. What we could do is to offer plausible answers or explanations to the existing events.
具体例子或细节
The development of the physics shows that the time and equipment confined our understanding. 用 Galileo Galilei, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein 的例子说明the new discoveries do not mask the previous ones. --Does the early explanations, simple and seemingly more accessible, means the real comprehensibility?

主题句3
As human’s effort in pursuing new knowledge, the mysterious questions would be solved in the future, and become comprehensible.
具体例子或细节
Gene therapy的阶段性成果举例


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
写得很纠结，看完了老师的视频，还看了几遍，但感觉还是没有get到要点。自己主要还是从题干给的那句话去理解，不会分类，不像老师可以从不同群体入手。这次主要从comprehensible去谈，提到1.有没有被理解需要分情况讨论，有的事物被理解了，有的还没被理解，不能一概而论；2.事物本身就是神秘的，以前所谓的comprehensible不一定是真正理解；3.随着人类知识的进步，现在不被理解的，将来也有一天会被理解。总观点是反对这个statement.

希望老师能提供指导，看这种分论点是否合理。另外也不知道这几个观点算不算重复。


我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）





我来点评其他网友
楼层： 27

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
框架分三类很好。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
个人感觉层主在写高科技带来的便利时，不要只写它们的好处，可以尝试举一些反例，说有xx坏处，但是XXXX好处更多，这样可能更有说服力，因为题目用了more这个词，所以有对比会好些。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
1.层主的开头段有两处使用了中文逗号，考试的时候要注意都是英文的。
2. From the development of science, the efficiency of political process to the advancement of culture and civilization.，这句话是不是没有写完整？还是说和后面的these elements合并成一句了？但是如果直接合并，也有语法上的问题，可以再斟酌一下。
3.elements后面的contribute to 不需要被动。
4.Surely那句，such as后面貌似不能跟一个完整句，所以不能接science can….可以修改一下，或者换个词。
5.life pace后面跟单数的谓语动词。


第一次点评，班门弄斧了。

SilverBUID: 3790946

完整题目

33) As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and mysterious.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  对关键词进行细分类别，具体来说，我将“knowledge”分为“science and technology”, "experience", "methodology"

我的提纲如下

开头段全文（TS）：
'Knowledge itself is power' occurs in Bacon's work. And knowledge is the power that makes things more comprehensible. When we come to the world as a baby without any knowledge, we don't know anything about the world. As we grow up, we acquire more and more knowledge, such as experience, science and technology,  and methodology. With these types of knowledge, many things that connected with the knowledge we have understood become more easy and comprehensible.

主题句1:
The first and uppermost thing that we learn in the world is the experience which opens the door of world comprehension.

- Empathy comes from the same experience. Example: Some boys can not understand their girlfriends' complex emotions.

主题句2:
Holding basic knowledge of science, advanced science would become easier to understand.

- In school, most courses have their prerequisite ones. Without prerequisite ones, it's hard to understand them. Examples: Real number and complex number.
- In our daily lives, It's not easy to comprehend why we can grow up without the science of cell.

主题句3
The methodology enables us to quickly acquire and understand knowledge so that we can understand things efficiently.

- Reading is an important way to gain and understand knowledge. How to read a book is a book about the methodology of reading. The methodology is a type of knowledge and can significantly improve the ability to acquire and understand knowledge.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想

        1. 在选择题干的关键词时，应该确定题干中的抽象词，抽象词有哪些分类，如果有两个或多个抽象词可以确定最主要的抽象次，也可以对抽象词进行对应分类，例如：本题中knowledge 和 things 可对应实例化：experience 对应 emotion, science对应knowledge in school, Methodology 对应是非方法论知识。

困惑：

        1. 为了保证文章的严密性，三种分类必须保证涵盖大部分实际情况（即分类合理），如何能够保证自己的分类合理？因为本提纲中的science其实应该是涵盖范围偏小的一个分类，但是我找不到一个合适的词语去概括基础知识的分类。而且我相信在很多分类中都会遇到这样的问题，所以将这个困惑提出来。



我来点评其他网友
楼层：25

1）_改了名字你们就认不出我了_网友提纲的框架是否合理？

        1. 作者介绍的框架是第三种方法，但是第三种方法是：Through classification of key term(s) in the issue statement. 作者第一段对两种观点均认同，但是并没有对名词做分类。所以该结构并不是典型的第三种方法，更像是第二种，从不同角度看问题。
        2. 第一段中并没有作者自己的观点，较容易让考官认为作者均认同两种观点。不过作者在最后一段得到自己的观点，观点鲜明，符合题目描述。我认为这样的结构有些风险。

2）__改了名字你们就认不出我了 __网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？

        1. 第一个lighting 例子合适
        2. 第二个lighting的例子在论证TS2时并不是十分有力，埋下了和一个个观点矛盾的种子。因为more detailed information 也可以说是better understanding. 引出TS3
        3. 任何一个科学的例子放在这里都可以支撑这个观点，这要看如何展开。

安歌UID: 3662922

43. The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. 

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
Living in the 21st century is like traveling by a high-speed train. The moment you get on board, the scenery outside starts changing rapidly. For many, the rapid pace of life contributes to efficiency and interconnectivity. Meanwhile, such pace of life also brings about stresses which might lead to health problems. However, its advantages outweigh the side effects, as illustrated below.

主题句1
Efficiency has become one of the key words in the 21st century, the pursuit of which leads to socio-economic development.
具体例子或细节
The implementation of 5S methodology in industries such as manufacturing and healthcare raises productivity, contributing to the development of society as a whole.
主题句2
With the help of mass media and we-media, fragmented reading efficiently promotes information sharing, providing people with first hand news and thus contributing to interconnectivity around the globe.
具体例子或细节
People around the world quickly react to the earthquake in Sichuan after the news came out, many offering their help.
主题句3
Though enhancing efficiency and interconnectivity, the rapid pace of life still has its side effects. One of the major concern lies in people’s health.
具体例子或细节
Many young people are faced with the danger of “Karoshi”—death from overwork.

点评10楼
1. 语言：有一定语言功底，但长句有些多，感觉有点淹没主干，因此主题词不太容易捕捉到。
2. 结构：我不太清楚可不可以同时将两组概念进行分类。但是，感觉论述段每一段之间递进关系较浅，甚至可以说有一些重合，不知道是不是分类的问题。
3. 内容：我不太清楚10楼小伙伴是否写的是提纲还是正文。如果是正文的话，我觉得论点二论据不足，还可以再多补充。
总之写的很认真很用心，我也是要绞尽脑汁才能想出来一点意见，不够贴切的无则加勉哈~~