issue 同主题写作第四类 8月18-19日

前意识的斑点UID: 3383834

Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  

With the development of modern mass media, scandals are almost ubiquitous.  Hardly can a day go by without some news reporting scandals involving high-profiles politicians, athletes or movie stars.  While it is true that scandals often attract public attention and may expose certain problems, I do not believe that they are useful in solving social problems as they often focus public attention on the wrong issues and can hardly maintain public attention for a sufficiently long time. After elaborating these two points, I will also address the argument that scandals can usefully create pressure for the government to introduce reforms.  


To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue.(points the main point) Take the Clinton scandal and impeachment for example. (Information about the scandal) With the release of Starr report, the Clinton scandal has attracted the national and even international media attention. But the majority of American people seem to find it more interesting to talk about whether or not President Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky.(Further explanation about the information) They would even get into the debate over whether oral sex would count as sex. (More information)But the real issue that should capture public attention is whether or not the President had lied and still deserved the trust of American people. (Elaboration)With the media always interested in reporting sensational news, the Clinton scandal failed to focus public attention on the right issue and therefore was not very useful for the development of American politics. (Elaborate the main point in the context of academic studies)


In addition, when a scandal is involved in powerful corporation, a professional public relations team will very quickly take actions to address the crisis and divert the public attention from the right issues. (topic sentence stating the main Point)The oil giant BP, for example, was responsible for the oil rig explosion in 2013 and subsequent oil spill in the gulf of Mexico. (Information about the scandal) During the scandal of this ecological disaster, BP hired a sophisticated PR team to launch a massive campaign to paint themselves as victims of tort law suits and shift media attention from the aftermath of the oil spill. (Information about the scandal) The large corporations like BP has the large amount of financial resources at their disposal to manipulate the media and the public opinions when necessary. (Information about the scandal) As the public is often forgetful while overwhelmed by the news and scandals, it is fairly easy for them to get away from such scandals.  In other words, one cannot really rely on scandals to solve problems involving big corporations. (Elaborate the main point in the context of academic studies)



Some people may argue that scandals are still useful in creating pressure to push the government to reform. (topic sentence stating the main Point)For example, after the scandal of Sun Zhigang, a Chinese university graduate who was tortured and killed in Guangzhou Center for the Homeless, Chinese government has abolished the institution of arresting the homeless in the large cities. (Information about the scandal) While this case leads to some desirable outcome, it is doubtful that we should count on scandals like this to reform a nation’s legal and social infrastructure.(Elaborate ) To fix the numerous problems in a modern society, the best solution is to educate the people about their rights so people can speak up against injustice when their rights are violated. We cannot just overlook the injustice in our daily life and wait for scandals to fix the problems in our society.  (Elaborate the main point in the context of academic studies)



In conclusion, while I acknowledge that certain scandals may eventually lead to some progress in our society, most scandals are not very useful in reforming the society as the public often focus their attention on the wrong issues and the powerful corporations can easily divert public attention through their public relations campaigns.  To achieve real progress in social development, we need better education to increase people’s awareness of their rights and their sense of justice.


我的作文
Students should always question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

In school nowadays, youngsters are cultivated with science as well as humanity courses. Their thoughts of process are built based on the information they received at school. Thus, some people argue that the youth should always question the knowledge, which they learn at school. However, from my perspective, it depends on the nature of what is being taught. If they are learning about facts and methods, they should only challenge them after mastering it.

To begin with, facts appeared in the engineering courses are usually widely accepted and proved.( topic sentence stating the main Point) When students start learning about data structure of computer science, they would first encounter list, stack as well as heap. (Information about the scandal) They are the basis of this subject and it is ubiquitous in coding. Thus, only by knowing basic knowledges can student understand higher level ideas such as run time and map. It is impossible for the youth to doubt a theory without solid understands of its basic mechanism. (Elaborate the main point in the context of academic studies)


Furthermore, methods utilized in humanity courses are also base stone of the subject. Some people argue that humanity courses are opinion oriented. Thus, student should not accept the information passively. However, the basic methods of the subject are needed because they are tools, which everyone used to communicate. Essays, for example, are known for its strict structure. If students fail to understand how to write introduction, body and conclusion paragraph in the essay, it is not likely for them to write clear and persuasive essays. As a result, the basic tools in the humanity courses are not questionable.

However, values and ideologies taught in schools should be questioned by students. In school, teachers hold different values upon certain topics. One teacher might support the homosexual, while another teacher hate the existence of the homosexual. There is a clear conclusion those topics, Thus, after receiving biased messages, students need to think about them progressively.

In conclusion, students should accept the basic tools taught in science and humanity courses passively. At the same time, they should not follow biased values from teachers blindly.

在三十分钟里写得真的很短小，感觉很崩溃，不知道大家有什么建议写多一些。我也不知道我的观点突不突出，我原来写作文就来被说，观点不明确

wanghaitao199391UID: 3704441

ISSUE 4
Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  
老师写的：
To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue. (Point)Take the Clinton scandal and impeachment for example. (Information)With the release of Starr report, the Clinton scandal has attracted the national and even international media attention. (Information)But the majority of American people seem to find it more interesting to talk about whether or not President Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky. (Information)They would even get into the debate over whether oral sex would count as sex. (information)But the real issue that should capture public attention is whether or not the President had lied and still deserved the trust of American people. (Elaboration)With the media always interested in reporting sensational news, the Clinton scandal failed to focus public attention on the right issue and therefore was not very useful for the development of American politics. (Elaboration)


In addition, when a scandal is involved in powerful corporation, a professional public relations team will very quickly take actions to address the crisis and divert the public attention from the right issues. (Point)The oil giant BP, for example, was responsible for the oil rig explosion in 2013 and subsequent oil spill in the gulf of Mexico.(Information) During the scandal of this ecological disaster, BP hired a sophisticated PR team to launch a massive campaign to paint themselves as victims of tort law suits and shift media attention from the aftermath of the oil spill.(Information-Elaboration) The large corporations like BP has the large amount of financial resources at their disposal to manipulate the media and the public opinions when necessary. (Information)As the public is often forgetful while overwhelmed by the news and scandals, it is fairly easy for them to get away from such scandals. (Elaboration) In other words, one cannot really rely on scandals to solve problems involving big corporations. (Elaboration)


Some people may argue that scandals are still useful in creating pressure to push the government to reform. (Point)For example, after the scandal of Sun Zhigang, a Chinese university graduate who was tortured and killed in Guangzhou Center for the Homeless, Chinese government has abolished the institution of arresting the homeless in the large cities. (Information) While this case leads to some desirable outcome, it is doubtful that we should count on scandals like this to reform a nation’s legal and social infrastructure. (Elaboration)To fix the numerous problems in a modern society, the best solution is to educate the people about their rights so people can speak up against injustice when their rights are violated. (Elaboration)We cannot just overlook the injustice in our daily life and wait for scandals to fix the problems in our society. (Elaboration)

我写的：
“Although someone may think that heroes and models cannot represent all the people in our society, but the truth is that normally, we never pay attention to the silent majority. (Point)When open a history book, there are all the names of heroes and models, because they write the history. (Information)Once a pedestrian makes him or her heart by us, he or she is a hero or model to some extent rather than a nameless one. (Elaboration)If some ordinary people challenge the authority of elites triumphantly, these people themselves become new heroes and models. (Elaboration)”
1.有PIE，但是最后没有给出一个掷地有声的结论，而是不了了之，要把结论补充在后面。
2.Point 提出句还是不干脆，没有一个让人一下就明白的点，感觉是边思考边写出来的，写完之前自己也不确定会变成什么样。。

对楼上 前意识的斑点 同学一段的评价：
To begin with, facts appeared in the engineering courses are usually widely accepted and proved.( topic sentence stating the main Point) When students start learning about data structure of computer science, they would first encounter list, stack as well as heap. (Information) They are the basis of this subject and it is ubiquitous in coding.  (Information) 要加东西的话可以在这里加：学建筑的学生一开始要掌握很多基础知识，一些在他们学生时代因为叛逆，没有掌握好基本的建筑知识的人从事建筑行业，造成了重大风险。比如说：某某大桥坍塌，某某高档住宅小区消防通道设计不合理酿成悲剧。。（哈哈 我的戏好多）而那些虚心接受基础知识，基本功扎实的建筑师才能给人们带来了安全和便捷。Thus, only by knowing basic knowledges can student understand higher level ideas such as run time and map. It is impossible for the youth to doubt a theory without solid understands of its basic mechanism. (Elaborate the main point in the context of academic studies)

我的收获：
要在动笔前知道自己在写什么，不能怕没得写，因为先定了方向才能想怎么写就怎么写，把它圆回来就行了，因为看的是论证，而不是三观。

天地1沙鸥UID: 3654706

21 Laws should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第1和第三种  支持作者观点通过添加原文的含义及按题目中场景分类，具体来说，circumstances, times, and places 3个角度
flexible 延伸为处理问题时能结合具体情况分析

我的提纲如下
TP：
It is known to us all that our government has been spending plenty of  effort to establish a more resonable law-based society. Thanks to the persistent effort, incereasing numbers of ordinary people become know better about the basic law rules. However, with the sharp development of society, here comes the heated debate whether laws should more flexible to be adapted to the changing society? As for me, increasing flexibility for laws, including considering the circumstances, times and places are indispensable for the goal of achieving a democratica society.

TS1 法律应该更灵活的结合愈发复杂的背景
First of all, there is no denying that any law has its own applying conditions. Therefore, increasing flexibility should be taken into consideration as the society is become more and more complex.
Example: Internet / realtime-showing platform which not exist before
Reason: laws must be flexible enough to face the new born things and to counter the more complex society

TS2  法律应该紧紧跟随时代进步
Moreover, It is also of significant importance to accommodate the laws to the time changing which means more flexibility is needed for the society development. Because the congnization of certain things may change sharply as we constanly improve our thoughts.
Example: plan-based economy/ ban on commercial
Reason: In the war period, the plan-based economy is more effective but after entering the peace period, it is unsuitable

TS3   法律应该根据具体场所来更加灵活
In addition, more flexibility should the laws possess with the changing process of a certain place. The verifying demand for a place or an area could hardly keep constant over time.
Example: cities and pollution rules
Reason: Cities should apply more strict rules as more indudtry carried out otherwise it may cause great pollution.

中间段：
In addition, more flexibility should the laws possess with the changing process of a certain place(point). The verifying demands for a place or an area could hardly keep constant over time. To face these changing demands, the law should considering to be more flexible when handling issues. Otherwise we will not make right dicisions in a place if sitick to the tranditional rules which is unsuitable in that area(information). For example, the Hebei province, which absorb many of the steel-manufacturing industry in Beijing since 1970s, gradually establish some strict laws to forbid the air pollution. Without these rules,the air may get even more worse. (example)  

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
当时想根据原题角度分成3角度，感觉place角度不好展开，如果想从原文提供三角度分类应该怎么阐述？

露葵.UID: 3822722

65 Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


一：公正的法律应该被遵守，它保证社会和谐稳定。如法律规定不能家暴，人们都应该遵守。因为如果家庭矛盾诉诸暴力，不但不能解决，反而会激化，而且引起社会问题。
二：有人认为不公正的法律应该反抗，如在中国大陆，法律不允许同性恋结婚，导致很多相爱的人得不到社会认可。这对性少数人来说不公平，违背人权。但是如果你不走正当途径而采取非法游行、暴力行动，不仅不能改善法律，还会给你带来麻烦。所以对于我们认为不公正的法律，也不应该…
三：有人会说，不反抗不公正的法律意味着永远无法改变现状。如果没有人出来，就不能修订法律。但我们应该用正当手段表达，所以不能不遵守所有法律

开头：
As a member of a society ruled by law, our daily life is closely related with various laws. On the one hand, the laws protect us from being harmed by the possible threatens around. On the other hand, we might be angry with some controversial laws that limit our just rights. While someone declares that the just laws should be obeyed while the unjust ones are not supposed to be respected. I remain doubtful to such proposal, because if we choose to resist the unjust laws in irrational ways, much more trouble will be caused. What's more,  what we can do is to respect the unjust laws and seek legal ways to revise them meanwhile.

Ts1: the just laws should be obeyed.
-The just laws ensure the normal social order.
eg: family violence is forbidden- protect the health right of female and children

Ts2:the unjust laws should be obeyed.
-If the activists demonstrate illegally or they just resort to violence, they will be arrested, and cause chaos.
eg: homosexual marriage

Ts3:we should challenge a law within the legal framework.
eg:修改法律的正当程序。

Ts2扩充：
Advocates of this argument might reject to my opinion. They contend that at times the human rights of people, especially the minority, will be jeopardized by the unjust laws. The controversy on the homosexual marriage can exemplify their argument. There is no doubt that every individual has the right to conjugal bliss, while such a right are regarded as illegal in many countries. An abundance of sexual minority people suffer from the stress from the whole society. Nevertheless, reasonable this claim might be, I am inclined to argue that disobedience and resistance might not solve homosexual marriage problem. If the activists demonstrate outside the government illegally or they just resort to violence, they will be arrested by the police. What's more, this kind of resistance makes our society more chaotic. Consequently, while I admit that some laws for the time being may do harm to some group, I maintain that we should obey and respect the laws.
这个不是完全按照PIE方法写的，写了正反双方，但是每方也有PIE


练习：选择了王老师issue4 的范文
To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue. （point） Take the Clinton scandal and impeachment for example.  With the release of Starr report, the Clinton scandal has attracted the national and even international media attention. （information） But the majority of American people seem to find it more interesting to talk about whether or not President Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky. （information） They would even get into the debate over whether oral sex would count as sex. （information） But the real issue that should capture public attention is whether or not the President had lied and still deserved the trust of American people. （elaboration） With the media always interested in reporting sensational news, the Clinton scandal failed to focus public attention on the right issue and therefore was not very useful for the development of American politics. （elaboration）


In addition, when a scandal is involved in powerful corporation, a professional public relations team will very quickly take actions to address the crisis and divert the public attention from the right issues. （point） The oil giant BP, for example, was responsible for the oil rig explosion in 2013 and subsequent oil spill in the gulf of Mexico. （information） During the scandal of this ecological disaster, BP hired a sophisticated PR team to launch a massive campaign to paint themselves as victims of tort law suits and shift media attention from the aftermath of the oil spill. （information） The large corporations like BP has the large amount of financial resources at their disposal to manipulate the media and the public opinions when necessary. （information） As the public is often forgetful while overwhelmed by the news and scandals, it is fairly easy for them to get away from such scandals. （elaboration） In other words, one cannot really rely on scandals to solve problems involving big corporations. （elaboration）

Some people may argue that scandals are still useful in creating pressure to push the government to reform. （point） For example, after the scandal of Sun Zhigang, a Chinese university graduate who was tortured and killed in Guangzhou Center for the Homeless, Chinese government has abolished the institution of arresting the homeless in the large cities. （information） While this case leads to some desirable outcome, it is doubtful that we should count on scandals like this to reform a nation’s legal and social infrastructure. （elaboration） To fix the numerous problems in a modern society, the best solution is to educate the people about their rights so people can speak up against injustice when their rights are violated. （elaboration） We cannot just overlook the injustice in our daily life and wait for scandals to fix the problems in our society.  （elaboration）


感想：非常感谢王老师给我们组织了这个活动，不管是教学视频还是小组交流我都受益很多。
不过感觉微信小组制度还没有完全发挥作用，小组交流和打卡检查可以多一点~

批改：晚上批小组作业

游离雨UID: 3816551

tesolchina 发表于 2017-8-17 20:33
这四类题共有10道，都和权威及对权威的挑战有关。17和6关注对教育的定性，究竟是让人更自由，还禁锢人的思想 ...

不好意思，先占个楼。怕晚上回来太晚。占在这里今晚回来一定完成任务的！

Formal education, normally delivered by trained teachers in a systematic intentional way within a school, plays an important part of an individual’s education in life. People receive planned instruction there and study cultural knowledge, social norms, ethics, values and so on. In spite of  those benefits brought by formal education, I believe, more often than not, our minds and spirits are likely to be shackled rather than to be set free in that the method and content of most modern formal education go against the basic conception of cultivating the “free human”.

To begin with, the content we learn from the formal education is usually a production under the control of national ideology, offering only the knowledge some people want us to know, which prevent us from seeing more possibilities. For example ,the history taught in class is sometimes far from the reality.

In addition, the method teachers adapt to educate students tend to make them spoon-fed doctrines, discouraging students from building up their independent thinking. For instance, the exams are used to evaluate how much the students has digested what the teacher said, ignoring the students’ creative thinking.

Last but not least, the end of the education institutions is more trainning people for the job market than cultivating a person with a comprehensive character. For instance, the education resources would lean to subjects that are easy to make capital available.


我的困惑：
本来想从内容、方法和目标上来论证学校教育的束缚性。但是好像举得例子比较片面和薄弱，说服性不是很强，逻辑连接性也不是很紧密。


我的点评：
1、楼下写得很好哦！棒棒哒，每次看到你的作文都会很有启发，觉得这就是我想写出来的样式，然而我自己实在是写不出来哈哈哈。
2、觉得紧紧抓入“权威性”入手，虽然入口小，但是对讨论的范围限制的很明确，而且相对分老师的权威、知识的权威、和大多数学生的权威，这种分类也比较明晰。不过这三者的顺序或许可以调整下，有个一步步递进的关系？从人，到内容，再到人，虽然是并列，但如果有某种递进的感觉会更好？


最后真的感谢王老师！语言真的无法描述！不过就是每次完成任务都会有偷懒。觉得比较羞愧。会继续努力完善突破自己不敢写的东西的

猜ccUID: 3828818

17)Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. [claim/comparison]

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

claim: education restrains our minds and spirits.
reason: It enforces the authority of teachers, knowledge and the majority, which limit our ways of thinking.

Intro:
Education plays a more and more important role in modern life nowadays. From my understanding, education, especially formal education in the elementary and high school, is to teach the majority of people the knowledge they need to live their life. However, accompanied with it are many hidden presumptions which chain our mind and spirit, like the authority of teacher and knowledge, and also of the majority.

ts1: Teachers' authority is set up through the praise and punishment system.[point]
Teachers punish those intractable children who dares to question their authority and paise those good boys.[info]
long after, students won't speak out their own views, or even lose the ability to think in different ways, which actually restrict the mind and spirit.[elaboration]

ts2: Knowledge was made unquestionable due to the grading and examination system.[point]
As we all know, exams are vital in grading students' achievement. All the learning process of students is set to help students get high scores. Students are asked to recite most of the knowledge as if they are always right. Moreover, to improve efficiency and standardization of assessing a person, there is only one perfect answer to a question.[info]
In this circumstance, students will gradually get used to follow the most common and easy solutions and wouldn't waste time thinking of other possibilities, cause it won't improve his grades. Their thinking mode is also stuck in the most common ways and was never free from these constraints.[elaboration]

ts3: The paramount of the majority's need in education insitution ignores personal distinction, making individuals easily succumb to the majority's opinions.[point]
The principle that the majority's needs overwhelm personal need is applied in almost every decision of the education institution. All the rules, like the timetable, the size of all the desks and tables, and even the way teachers instill knowledge, are made to satisfy the majority's need. when teachers or administrators make these decisions, students is just an abstract notion, not a concrete person. There also many other decision in the school made through voting, which means the majority counts, such as electing a monitor or choosing a sightseeing day.[info]
so, every individual has to adjust themselves to the majority's need in all aspects of their life, which will cause them to believe that the majority's need is most justifiable, so is the opinions of the majority. Students are too worried about having different opinions from most others to think freely.[elaboration]

点评五楼明早起来写。
感想和建议：特别感谢王老师这次的活动，感觉老师花费了好多心血，感动。跟着写下来觉得获益很多。中间几次因为在旅途中，写得比较匆忙，很遗憾。活动很好，老师的课程很实用，点评也非常有针对性，互评的模式让大家更深刻地理解老师的建议和要点。就是老师的字有时看不清😄。

Dover999UID: 3808377

17)Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. [claim/comparison]

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


It is argued that the standard education doesn’t emancipate but constrain people’s beliefs. In some degree, it may be right. For example, in order to keep their interest or social status not being impaired, some people control the others through education. There are also a few schools view the education only as a tool by which they can improve the students’ scores, which extremely stiffs the students’ mind. On the contrary, the schools that admire the academic free can largely energize the students’ mind.
TS1
Usually, governments regard education as the main means to control citizens’ spirits. Almost every semester in my university, there is some classes that teach you nothing but how right the route the leaders recommended is.  

TS2
Regardless for the promotion or for the further education, people are often required attend some tests to attest they have already obtained that kind of ability. It’s  very common in China, the aim of the high schools are only help student to acquire their ideal score. Not  surprising, in such a circumstance, what the students learn is more about the skills of passing the exams than knowledges.  

TS3
The universities that aim to promote the students’ abilities of solving practical problems  often help student free their minds but not stiff them. Nowadays, most of the science and technology results from the education, which promote the society greatly.

哥特同学UID: 3829477

占楼，一会儿补充。

GoldenStringUID: 3787185

Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

TS：In the modern socirty, laws are an peaceful way to solve various sociable problems without degenerating into a violent state. It is obvious that all people should obey the just laws that are admitted by all individuals in terms of its justice. However, for the unjust laws that are incompatible with the development of modern society, individuals should challenge such laws through legal means and civil disobedience.

ts1.There is no doubt that every individual ought to obey the just laws.(POINT) For a simple example, Every individual is aware of the importance of obeying the traffic law about the ban on runing red lights .(INFORMATION) It's illegal to run red lights in most countries.  A relatively complete set of traffic laws including illegally running red lights that everybody recognize and abide has been formed to make sure the traffic safety and the efficiency of daily transportation. If a driver runs red lights, his or her behavior will be of great possibility to cause a traffic accident that threatens the safety of the driver, the passengers and others sharing the road and affect people's normal travel negatively. In order to protect the interests of everyone involved and the normal operation of society, the traffic laws ban such behavior amd punish the people who breaking the laws. For just laws like this,  people don't challenge the justice behind them and sincerely hope everyone to abide the laws seriously.(Elaboration)

ts2:Some laws are controversial and questioned by people for its justice. I can't find any better examples than this, the 522nd article of Lebanon's criminal laws: if the rapist marries the victim, the rapist will not be prosecuted.
The criminal was given a chance to escape the trial.
For the victims who are forced to marry the rapists because of the family's honor, they could have to bear the double torture of the body and mind. This is undoubtedly a secondary injury to the victim.
It is unjust for both the victims and rapists.

ts3: How to deal with such unjust laws for us? Some people argue that we should fight against the government even with violent resistance. However, I don't agree with it because this behavior may threaten the stability of socirty and have little effect on solving the problems.
As far as i am concerned,individuals should challenge such laws through legal means and civil disobedience.

campaign for abolishing the laws through new legislation.  
Pacific protest campaign/  lead to the public opinion/  get the public ,government and lawmakers / to abolish the laws through new legislation

点评11楼
1）作者框架OK，就是你的ts3好像是在说法律的公正根基是由人民决定的，人们都反对的话法律就无效了！（这个我有点质疑，在某一时间某一情景下大多数人所坚持的所谓公正并不一定是法律真正的公正）
2）作者的ts2所用例子不是太充分，好像一点而过，有点模糊。ts3作者好像实在论证法律的公正&根基是由谁决定，没有具体例子充实，感觉有点空。
3）作者语言并没有太大差错，就是ts2的
-Although the developed countries can’t feel the injustice today, however,this kind of situations still there in developing countries.
应该是are still there.还有就是我觉得这句话有点别扭，什么叫发达国家不能感觉到不公平？你可以直接说发达国家也存在法律不公平现象。这样我觉得更通顺些~

amber_123UID: 3830001

17)Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. 

No model essay

My essay

More and more people have received formal education since young. No matter you are in America or in Africa, the numbers of children who get formal education are increasing. I believe that formal education has freed human minds and spirits instead of restraining them. Because formal education builds concrete foundational knowledge for students. When people attend universities, formal education would guide them to specific fields. Although people may concentrate on several spots in their fields, their minds are even freer.

To begin with, formal education help students build concrete foundational knowledge. (point) As we all know, foundational knowledge is the basic of free thinking. (information) When we are in primary school, we mainly learn simple mathematics like plus and minus. (information) Later we would learn convoluted ones.  (information) Formal education system teaches knowledge from easy to difficult which is good for learners. (elaboration) Formal education also teaches comprehensive knowledge which contains verbal, math, art, and other courses. (information) Students who receive formal knowledge would develop into a full grown man. (information) With a scientific teaching process and comprehensive knowledge, formal education gives people concrete foundational knowledge. (elaboration)

In addition, in universities, formal educational system would guide students to specific fields according to everyone’s interest. (point) There are many colleges and specific fields in university such as medicine, psychology, mathematics and engineering. (information) After short time learning of general courses, people would freely choose what they like to learn further. (information) University would guide them into the fields from easy and basic knowledge to professional one. (information) If a person choose psychology, he would receive courses like general psychology, developmental psychology and experimental psychology. (information) Through learning specific courses, people would free their interests. (elaboration)

On the other hand, while concentrated on a specific field seems being constrained in a spot, our minds, if we take a deeper look, are even freer. (point) When learners choose a field to study, they usually don’t have outside pressure to learn other knowledge because university only evaluates score of related courses. (information) That may seem like an adversity of formal education of being limited. (elaboration) However, as we all know, our energy is limited as well. (information) With learning vast knowledge, we are usually not able to think deeper of a specific one. (information) People need to concentrate on specific fields to learn deeper and make breakthrough. (information) Inside these fields, they are encouraged to challenge old theories and discover new findings. (information) To a certain degree, they are even freer than before because of breaking limitations. (elaboration) People would think deeper and freer when concentrated on specific fields. (elaboration)

powerfulbeanUID: 3829312

68) Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我所采用的是第三种方法，分基础教育和高等教育两方面来讨论。

Intro

It is gradually accepted that education is important to everyone in every stage of life. Many people believe that the benefits of accepting education is to free our thoughts and spirits, while others believe that the spirit and mind are restrained by the formal education. For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic technics to keep learning and create new knowledges in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future.

TS1
In the primary school, students are taught basic knowledge and skills which help them better accumulate knowledge in the future.
Eg. The verbal and quantitative skills are the tools for people around the world to communicate in daily life.
Eg. The self-control of children are weak, the formal education can help them to develop a well personality.

TS2
In the middle school, the education have both sides’ impact on students.
Eg. Students will accept formal education which teaches them basic natural knowledge, which not only can be applied in the future learning in the University, but also can be applied to solve some problems we face in the daily life.
Eg. But, to some extent., the education also restrain students’ mind. As most teachers ask students to think about physical problems or math problems in specific ways, some competitions encourage the participants to solve problems innovative ways.

TS3
In the university, formal education can restrain students’ long-term succeed.
Eg. In the university, students are preparing for the future researches or careers.  As we all know, many questions do not have absolutely right answers and students should learn to challenge the authorize and to find if there is a better way.

Eg. However, without basic skills learnt from the formal education, it will be more difficult for people to make innovation, cause they do not know how to communicate, how to write essays or how to calculate.

PIE
Teacher’s part:
ISSUE 1
The development of new technologies also challenges those people responsible for formulating policies and rules regulating the use of technologies.(POINT: Thesis statement) The popularity of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter presents a wide variety of social problems such as cyberbullying, hacking and privacy violation that call for the introduction of new rules and policies.(INFORMATION) Government officials, legislators and experts in relevant fields have to work together to address these issues through developing more sophisticated policies and laws.(ELABORATION: Regulations are needed) For example, Facebook has now gathered a staggeringly large amount of data about its users in digital forms and used the data to make profits in many different ways.(INFORMATION: specific challege) To address issues like these, the policy makers will of course rely on the state-of-the-art technologies for communications such as email, video conferencing and even Facebook to collect feedback from the users and data from different sources.(ELABORATION) They may also rely on statistical software packages such as SPSS to analyze the data.(ELABORATION) But the technologies can never make the decisions for them.(POINT) They still have to think about these issues from different perspectives and come up with their own decisions.(INFORMATION) As a result, for these policy makers, this statement does not hold true, either.(ELABORATION)

HelloC424UID: 3815350

Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

老师的范文：

I believe that scientific research and development should not be subject to any restrictions from governments.  I will first discuss why the governments should not place restrictions on research activities by considering the nature of the government and its threat to academic freedom.  Next, I will explain why such restrictions are not necessary by explaining how research activities are being monitored by funding agencies and ethical review committees.  

My first objection to government restriction is based on my skepticism of the power of governments in general and my belief in academic freedom. （point） As Thomas Paine famously put it, “Government, even in its best form, is a necessary evil.”  We allow the government to take away part of our freedom and property (via taxation) because some form of government is necessary to maintain the social order.  （Information） But the power of the government should be restricted; otherwise, the power will be abused by the government officials. （Elaborate) Since scientific research and development do not usually threaten the social order and national security, I believe that the government should not place any restrictions on them. (Elaboration) Meanwhile, the principle of academic freedom, which is the core values of higher education, also dictates that the government should allow maximum freedom for the scientists and researchers to pursue any projects they are interested in.  

Another reason why the government should not restrict scientific research is that research projects nowadays often have to go through lengthy processes of funding applications during which experts will evaluate the potential benefits and harms of the research.  （topic）If a research project carries certain risk or threat to public safety or national security, it is very unlikely that such projects would receive financial support from the funding agencies.  （information）In other words, we should trust the scientific community itself to make sound decisions on whether or not a particular project should be supported or not.  (Elaboration) Through the competitive processes for funding, projects that are potentially harmful will be stopped.   (Elaboration)

Finally, it is important to recognize the importance of the ethical approval mechanisms that are in place to screen all research projects nowadays. （topic） Before the researchers start any projects, they will have to submit a report to the ethical review committee of their institutions to get ethics approval.  （information）Any projects that are ethically problematic or may threaten the public interests will not receive endorsement from the ethics committees. （information） As a result, such projects will not continue.  (information)Again, the ethical approval mechanism is another example of how the scientific community itself can check the validity and soundness of the research projects without the need of government intervention.  (Elaboration)

In conclusion, governments should not restrict research activities in any way because the power of the governments should be limited to the scope where government is necessary.  In addition, scientific research and development have already been subject to close scrutiny in funding applications and ethical review through which potentially harmful or dangerous projects will not be approved or supported.  

对楼上同学的评价：
结构很清晰，然而整体的例子稍显弱势，所以段落比较短。里面有一些例子和观点的connection可能比较不够清晰，比如ts2的随着时间变化，对自由的定义变了，但是例子是同性恋。其实我觉得这里更多是人权的问题（恋爱自由）。这同时也是我的问题，怎么样才能写出很长很长的段落？怎么样可以有更多的话说？

其他感想：
因为这两天比较忙，我就没有选择自己写文章，粗浅的分析了一下老师的文章。
我觉得在实际写作文中，自己例子的积累比较匮乏，在写作文时想法的速度比较慢，并且写的段落也比较短。还未能形成一个自己的模版。不知道如何在较短的时间内获得性价比比较高的提升～
小群大群的左右仿佛都不大，我们小群比较沉默，大家也没有什么交流，可能需要一些活动促进交流～

liwenhao19UID: 3472930

tesolchina 发表于 2017-8-17 20:33
这四类题共有10道，都和权威及对权威的挑战有关。17和6关注对教育的定性，究竟是让人更自由，还禁锢人的思想 ...

4 Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  

TS: Though scandals are powerful way to focus people’s attention on some social problems, they are not useful means to push forward social reform, since scandals often focus our attention on the wrong issue, and scandals often fails to hold our attention longer enough to lead to reform. Moreover, sandals often arouse irrational emotion rather than rational refection, and irrational emotions are the worst enemies of social reform.

Ts1: scandals often focus our attention on the wrong issues:
Example: in the sandal that a famous host in fox news sexual harassed its women employees, people show great interests in whether they have slept together, but the real issues are how to protect women in work place from sexual harassment.

Ts2: scandals often fail to hold our attention long enough to lead to useful reform.
Example, fox news sexual harassment, people stop talking about it weeks later, since in the social media era, there are tons of breaking news compete for our attention every seconds. While real reforms usually take years to achieve.

Ts3: scandals often arouse irrational furies than rational reflection, and those irrational feelings can often ruin instead of facilitate social reform.
Ex: after the scandals of several horrible crime by immigrants, people force the government to kick immigrants out of the country, thus ruin government’s effort to save the weak economy by bring immigrants laborers with low cost to the country.

xiulin2015UID: 3609356

Sample writing:
"The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.”
If a person is not answerable to anybody then in spite of his sincerity he might be negligent in performing his duties. (Information) On the contrary if a person is aware of the fact that he is answerable to the public for what ever he does for the society, he would make sure that everything is done properly. (Information) Authority and responsibility are the different sides of the same coin.( Elaboration)  They appear to be different but they are integral parts of each other. (Elaboration) Therefore, a person who is given authority has to take the responsibility. (Point) It was in the past when there was authoritarian rule like the one of Adolph Hitler but soon people realized the importance of being free and slowly all such practices came to an end. (Information, further facts) In the present day scenario people are more educated and thus more aware of their rights and they want to question if they are deprived of their rights. (Information, provide a different context ) The right to question has brought revolution and people have become stronger. (Point) Now nobody can make a fool out of them as they know what their rights are. (Elaboration)

comments: The point doesn’t show in the first sentence and the information and elaboration come before the introducing the point. I doubt  whether this organizing of paragraph is accepted and can be adopted by test takers or not. PIE structure is clearly demonstrating the development of logic. Point in the topic sentence, supported by facts of Information and then relating the reasoning between point and information.

TaylorWUID: 3668665

Issue 23
Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


TS:Should government reduce the restrictions they press on scientific research and development or should they not? From my point of view, they should for the reason that government’s interference on scientific research, for the most time, plays a negative role in developing. With government’s excess restrictions, scientific research is inevitably impeded in budget misled in direction and slowed down in researching process.

Pt1: Government cut down research budget easily when they let other project such as transportation constructions and urbanization take priority to science.
-Government prefer projects that bring immediate profit or visible changes to scientific developments which cost time and money.
-Steven hawking once claiming to leave England for its government cut down national research fund.

Pt2: When government has a limited financial budget on scientific research they tend to mislead research direction to fields that would profit military and national arsenal. It is a betray to science original intention, humanity.
-nuclear weapon is invented during world war two and it bite back on human beings.

Pt3: Government’s concerning would seriously impede efficiency of developing.
-Government force science institute not to use mice in tests for human rights groups put pressure on them. While there is no other animal are more suitable.



Pt2: When government leave a limited financial budget on scientific research they tend to mislead research direction to fields that would profit military and national arsenal. (topic sentence starting the main point) The meaning of existence of science is to provide benefits to all creature. While developing high tech weapons became a violation to science original intention. When potent weapons embody power to a country , it put threaten to humans at the same time.(provide further information) Take nuclear weapons for an example. (elaborate the information with an example ) In late 20 century, nuclear fission is raised as a significant finding in atomic research. As World War II breaks , nuclear weapon developing is funded by the U.S government and later the first atomic bomb is invented. And that bomb burn down a whole city into ashes. (elaborate the example )Without the government’s furtherance, the nuclear could be used in power station to generate energy for daily life instead of destroy civilization. Science became weapons in government’s hands. (summarize main point)  
   

Issue23-范文分析：
Pt4：Finally, it is important to recognize the importance of the ethical approval mechanisms that are in place to screen all research projects nowadays.  （point& information -ethical approval mechanism is important）Before the researchers start any projects, they will have to submit a report to the ethical review committee of their institutions to get ethics approval.   Any projects that are ethically problematic or may threaten the public interests will not receive endorsement from the ethics committees.  As a result, such projects will not continue. （elaboration-how it works） Again, the ethical approval mechanism is another example of how the scientific community itself can check the validity and soundness of the research projects without the need of government intervention.  (Further elaboration & summarize main point)



我来点评其他网友
楼层： 18

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
作者提纲分类按照原文提供的3个角度circumstances, times, and places分类展开
从这三个方面来肯定支持题目观点 站正面 完全合理

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
circumstances 用了应对新生事物网络
Times用了计划经济
Places 用了污染防治
例子都是合理的 place 举例也可以举例城市和小乡村税率不一样 大城市税高农村低

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
incereasing numbers of ordinary people become know better about the basic law rules.
Becomeh和know两个动词
As for me , increasing flexibility for laws , including considering the circumstances , times and places is indispensable to the goal of achieving a democratic society .

中间段更正部分：
The verifying demands for a place or an area could hardly keep constant over time . To face these changing demands , the law should consider to be more flexible when handling issues . Otherwise we will not make right decisions on a place if stick to the traditional rules which are unsuitable for that area .




写作活动中期感受：
活动到现在写了4个issue两个argument了 开始时候结构框架很模糊 经过学习有了 更好的掌握也比较灵活 但是缺乏应试能力 因为现在都是给定范围内的写作 考场随机出题 有限时间迅速成提纲的能力还要锤炼 老师这期帖子的讲解比较开门见山 省略了很多前部分的内容 我看过老师的6分教学博客帖子后有更全面的理解 因为想深入学习 所以工作量更大 总结博客和这次活动后应该收获就不仅丰厚了 更能扎实。
老师的入门系列一审题的那帖子非常非常好非常非常重要 希望这期活动的小伙伴们也关注一下
我一直觉得老师的语言很高级，想学升级表达呢，句式用词上的一些技巧 希望也能传授呢~~~~~