argument第三类同主题写作 8月24-25日

huan19880122UID：2657720

Argument 10/21/23
Arg 21 Dr. Field anthropologist

10) Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段：
In the argument, Dr. Field concluded the Tertia children were reared by an entire village rather than their biological parents based on his observation study twenty years ago, while Dr. Karp opposed the opinion supported by his recent interview-centered study, of which the method were believed to generate accurate information. To evaluate the argument, more information are needed regarding Dr. Karp’s sample location, questions used in the interview, and additional researches compared between observation and interview centered method.

中间段：
Whether the design of the interview is scientifically reasonable affects the accountability of Dr. Karp study remarkably. Questions in interview-centered study should be comprehensive and unbiased. If most questions in the interview are regarding the children’s biological parents, it would be a natural thing that the children spent much more time talking about them. And if the questions are biased and with tendency, they may also lead children to talk more about their biological parents. For example, if you were asked, would you like to spent more time with persons blood related, talking about biological parents would be a more likely thing. Besides, the method used in evaluating the interview results would also be an useful information to assess the study results. Concluding the child-rearing practice only because of the children talks their birth parents more is not that solid. Nowadays, children talk about their idols everyday so much more compared to mentioning their parents, who surely doesn’t raised by their idols.

修改前
Everyone thinks. The one perpetual thing I could recall is the restless human minds, regardless of whether it is in ancient times or in the twenty-first century.  开头略文艺 和后面的分类有些矛盾  When we evaluating the ability of humans to think, I figure we are referring to whether the thinking delivers results, whether it provides new perspectives or ways to solve problems. 总的来说如题太慢 I regard people with those abilities as thinkers, and the others followers. Technology, as the result of thinking, has changed the world utterly. Nowadays we astonishingly rely on technology to solve problems, that one might say it would deteriorate our abilities to think.（TS） Yet I believe, technology has only changed the subjects of thinking, but never thinking itself. Instead, it enables more followers evolved VF to be thinkers via WC providing opportunities in vast new area and variety forms of education, which are only possible because of technology.
improve the thesis statement by summarizing your main points
没有清晰看到你的分论点  
题目问的是能力有没有转差 你没有正面回应问题  主旨句里点题很重要

修改后
In all time, everyone thinks. When we evaluating the ability of humans to think, I figure we are referring to whether the thinking delivers results, whether it provides new perspectives or ways to solve problems. I regard people with those abilities as thinkers. Technology, as the result of thinking, has changed the world utterly. Nowadays we astonishingly rely on technology to solve problems, that one might say it would deteriorate our abilities to think. Yet I believe, technology has only changed the subjects of thinking, not the abilities to think. Instead, it enables more people to become thinkers through providing opportunities in vast new area and variety forms of education, which are only possible because of technology.

改19楼（帖子里粘贴没修改格式，发给你word看哈）
Arg 31 government spending and residents attitudes on public schools -o

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.

In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend-the city-run public schools-comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the argument, the author argued that Parson City residents place higher value on providing good education in public schools than Blue City residents do by providing the evidence that 似乎有指代不清，最近的名词是blue city，但查了查没有查到特别concrete的理论基础 have a budget priority as they spend more money recently.
argument的总结有些复杂，可以简单一些（不一定对的示范，The author argued that Parson City residents place higher value on public school education than Blue City, claiming Parson City prioritized public education as they spend more money recently.）However, more evidences are needed about average spending on students and schools, past investment records and future plans on education and what  they have done to improve education levels before we can confidently evaluate the validity of the argument.
这句有些太长了，读下来不大清晰，冠词用的有点儿乱，但冠词这我也用不好，不知道改的对不对

Firstly, we need to gather more information about the specific expenses on public schools in each city respectively. Although as stated by the author (非谓语动词作状语，要用分词), the two cities share the same residents, it does not necessarily means that they share the same demographic features. There may be possibilities that Blue City has a smaller proportion of students or they have considerably less public schools. Either way will lead to the possibility that the average spending on students or schools of Blue city outruns Parson City which further undermines the author's argument that Parson City values education construction more. 最后这句过长了，重句太多，意思不够清晰，要注意名词的单复数，以及主谓一致，注意用词是否多余，如果删掉不会改变意思，我会认为这个词是多余的

Secondly, more details are needed about the past investment records and future plans of each city on education improvement, because only the recent data was presented in the argument indicating that Blue City spent only half what Parson has spent. The term "recently" needs more concrete definition. Other scenarios are also likely that Blue spent much more than Parson 10 years ago and those money was spent on infrastructures(个人认为 basic facilities更合适) like playground, computer labs, projection systems, desks or even buildings, which, after being built, would not required huge investment in the future. However, things would be different in Parson City's case, as its public schools’ infrastructures (个人认为 basic facilities更合适)may be outdated recently which requires much more money to rebuild. There are also possibilities that Blue city would spend much more in the near future in their city blueprint. The Lack of  systematical analysis of the records and future plans would make the author's argument unconvincing.

Thirdly, instead of focusing on the tax money spending public schools by  governments, we should examine other ways residents of each city后面例子说的仍然是government而不是residents have done to improve the education levels of their cities. There may be scenarios that Blue City's government launched more policies to improve teaching abilities of their teachers of public schools, or to encourage more people to donate money to public schools for construction. Either way  would cast great doubt on what the author tries to argue.

To conclude, the argument that Parson City puts higher value than Blue city is lack of evidence as the information provided does not lend strong support to the argument Before we could make a warrant evaluation of the argument, we need to gather more information about the average money spending on students and schools, the past investment records and future plans of money spending on education improvement and other methods to improve the education level of public schools

总结段内容过于重复，但我没想好咋改。。sorry

整体，重句使用很多，嵌套层次多，不利于讲清楚意思，可以删除多余的用词，
注意避免基础语法错误，这个我觉得是最重要的，名词单复数，冠词，主谓一致，句子结构是否完整 等，非常非常重要

SilverBUID：3790946

Arg 31 government spending and residents attitudes on public schools -o

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.

In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects.

claim: (The citizen provide the money to city-run public schools.)implied
data: the major money spent on the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects.
warrant: (City taxes come from its citizen.) implied
Question: What is the priority of taxes for public schools?
Evidence: information about the government finances
Assumption: The government will not be corrupt.

The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents.

claim: Parson City's people provide twice money than Blue City to city-run public schools.
data: Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools
warrant: Both cities have about the same number of residents.

Question: Are the people's incomes in two cities the same?
Evidence: Tax revenue is related to people's income.
Assumption: The average tax per person is the same for both city.

Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

claim: Parson City residents place a higher value on proving a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
data: Parson City's people provide twice money than Blue City to city-run public schools.
warrant: (More taxes for public school means placing a higher value on proving a good education.) implied

Question: Does more taxes for public school mean that people are more focus on public education?
Evidence:
Assumption: It is the is the government who determines the proportion of taxes.

Introduction:
According to the author of the letter, Parson City residents pay more attention to provide good city-run public schools than Blue City ones do. Analyzing the taxes and population of both of the cities, the author sum up the conclusion. A number of assumptions have been made in the argument about government corruption, income of people, and the use of taxes. These assumptions need to be scrutinized critically to assess the strength of the argument.

Middle paragraph:
TS2:
In addition, we also need to check the assumption that the average tax per person is the same or similar for both Parson City and Blue City. Maybe Parson City is more developed, perhaps a Top 500 company is located here, increasing the per capita incomeof the city. As a result of this, Person City's taxes would be more than Blue City. Consequently, the money providing public schools is more naturelly. But all of the taxes are what they have to pay, and this does not mean that they pay more attention to provide good city-run public schools than Blue City ones do.

感想: 自己在论证逻辑上还有些不清楚，如何能够找到最大的漏洞？需要通过不断思考去训练。


修改训练：
题目：
The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Method: different fields- literature, economics, astronomy
原文：
Throughout history, innovations and progresses in different fields enable human being to discover crucial findings and understand the society from distinctive points of view. While adventures and technology advancement in astronomy lead to important findings that gradually crack the riddles of the universe, economists invent new theories to explain people’s ordinary behaviors in the social context. So, one may ask what do these new progresses come from, an interest in ordinary things in our society or a passion about elusive phenomena? I think the answer is not definite; it depends on different fields. I will discuss this issues on three fields: literature, economics, and astronomy.
improve the thesis statement by clarifying your position : 这个框架和例子都挺好，建议在写主旨句的时候对这几个例子做一些概括；比如文学和经济学都是关注人的行为，所以这个命题成立；而天文关注的是比较遥远的话题，所以命题不成立。

修改：
Throughout history, innovations and progresses in different fields enable human being to discover crucial findings and understand the society from distinctive points of view. While adventures and technology advancement in astronomy lead to important findings that gradually crack the riddles of the universe, economists invent new theories to explain people’s ordinary behaviors in the social context. So, one may ask what do these new progresses come from, an interest in ordinary things in our society or a passion about elusive phenomena? I think the answer is not definite; it depends on different fields. Literature and economics deal with the human behaviors issues and the ideas come from the common things, while astronomer focus on the starry sky that so far away from us that the progresses is independent of common things.

天地1沙鸥UID：3654706

10) Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents
Data: Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations.
Warrants: 1) the observation-centered approach can conclude the right result

Claim: Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid
Data: interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices , spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village
Warrants: Talking about their biological parents means the wrong conclusion of Dr. Field's

Claim: future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method
Data: Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices
Warrants: the interview-centered method must lead to accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices

Intro:
Dr. Field visited the islands of Tertia and concluded that children were reared by the whole village instead of the biological parents based on the observation-centered approach 25 years ago. However, recently Dr. Karp concluded that Field's conclusion was invalid as he found that children spent more time on talking the biological parents using the interview-centered method. Based on the conclusion, some anthropologists recommend to obtain more accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices via the interview-centered method. However, there are several questions the passage fail to answer. Whether Dr Karp’s view and the interview-centered method are accurate need more discussing.

TS3
According the two contradicting conclusions from Dr. Field and Dr. Karp, some  anthropologists recommend that future research on the subject should be conducted to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices via the interview-centered method. However, some questions failed to answer in this passage so whether this method can be used in every aspect needs more discussing. It is possible that people in Tertia try to lie or avoid talking something while being interviewed. There is no Thus, from what have been discussed above, it is hard to judge whether the interview-centered method could apply in further research.

Dover999UID：3808377

85) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

1.
Claim: The results of the first study are unreliable.
Data:  In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel.
Warrant: What the respondents said are disagreement with the data collected from the public libraries.
Evidence:
a) The detail individual information of the respondents, including the inhabitant distributions (downtown or countryside), the ages, sex, vocations, educational experience, the reading habits(electronic equipment  or paper based).
b) The checked out data of the public libraries are also need and should be checked whether coincide with information obtained from a)

From the statement, the claimer make a conclusion that the respondents in the first study don’t express their authentic views (or judgements) as the results of second study are disagree with the first. To validate this conclusion, we need the information of both the individual respondents and the checked out data of the public libraries studied.
Once obtain the specific information of the respondents, we can directly attest the conclusion  or pave for further analysis. First, if the respondents are prefer for reading by electronic equipment, then we can think that conclusion is wrong.

powerfulbeanUID：3829312

Arg 31 government spending and residents attitudes on public schools -o

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.

In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim：
The Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City.
Data:
In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects.
Warrant:
Because most students go to the public schools which funded by the taxes collected by city government. So the amount of the money spent on the public school can directly stand for the degree of contribution to the education.
Assumption:
Those two cities have the same number of students going to public school.
The proportion of public school’s funding provided by the government are the same in those two cities.
Question:
Perhaps, in blue city, residents are more willing to donate to the schools.

Claim:
The amount of money spent on public defines the budgetary priority.
Data:
The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education.
Warrant:
If education is in the first priority, it will be spent a lots of money.
Assumption:
The Blue city spent less money on other part of the city than schools.
Question:
May be in Blue city, the number of students is so small that the city’s government does not need to spend too much money on schools.
May be they can spend money on the infrastructure or the social welfare because of there are lot of old people.

Claim:
The Blue city does not pay as much attention as the Parson city on education.
Data:
For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents.
Warrant:
They have the same number of residents which means that they should have spent at least the same money on public education.
Evidence:
The same number of residents means the same number of students.
In the past, the money spent by the Blue city is as same as recently.
Assumption:
Both two cities have the same overall tax revenues.
Question:
May be the blue city spend money on other infrastructure of education such as libraries.

Claim:
, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
Data:
Warrant:
Assumption:
Both the residents are not same involved in negotiating the budgets

Intro
According to the letter, the writer concludes that Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do as Parson city spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public City. We need more information about if the residents in Blue City have other ways to develop the local public education, if the Blue city are in the same situation as Parson city, and if the residents of blue city are involved enough in negotiating the budgets.

Ts2
Additionally, perhaps the Blue city is in different situation compared with Parson City. It is true that recently Parson City spent more money than Blue City did, but it does not mean that the same in the past. May be Parson City just began to spending a lot of money recently for some reasons such as building new schools which quite needed a lot of money than just providing funds for schools to keep them running. Plus, although both city have the same number of people, it does not mean that they have the same number of students. And if the Blue City have less students, they do not need to spend as much as money as Parson city does, and they can spend money on other aspects of the city such as social welfare.

修改前:
It is gradually accepted that education is important to everyone in every stage of life. Many people believe that the benefits of accepting education is to free our thoughts and spirits, while others believe that the spirit and mind are restrained by the formal education. For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic technics WC to keep learning and create new knowledge WF in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future. (improve the thesis statement by clarifying your position)

修改后：
It is gradually accepted that education is important to everyone in every stage of life. Many people believe that the benefits of accepting education is to free our thoughts and spirits, while others believe that the spirit and mind are restrained by the formal education. For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic technics WC to keep learning and create new knowledge WF in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future. (improve the thesis statement by clarifying your position)

修改后：
It is gradually accepted that education is important to everyone in every stage of life. Many people believe that the benefits of accepting education is to free our thoughts and spirits, while others believe that the spirit and mind are restrained by the formal education. Whether formal education restrains our spirit or thoughts depends on whether the students are familiar with the basic skills. For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic skills to keep learning  in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future, they are hindered to make breakthrough.

绿山墙的小豆豆UID：3812248

10) Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp 0 with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: children in T were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents.
Evidence: observation-centered approach
Warrant: children more interaction with villagers than parents ( implied)

Claim: Tertian village culture must be invalid
Evidence: K conducted children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village using interview-centered methods
Warrant: children talked about other adults means they reared by villagers more than parents
(implied)

Claim: Interview-centered better than observation-centered
Evidence: interview-centered recommended by other anthropologists
Warrant: interview-centered accurate

Intro:
According to the author, some anthropologists thought using interview-centered methods approach is more accurate than using observation-based methods. Because after twenty years, Dr. K refused Dr.F’s using interview-based methods and get a opposite conclusion that obtain a conclusion that children living in T village were reared by parents rather than by Dr. F’s conclusion that by parents. And he pointed Dr. F’s observation-centered approaches is invalid. In order to make the recommendation reasonable, we should ask some questions to doubled.’s observation-centered approaches validity, to strength the steady of Dr.T’s approach.

T1
The first question is that is there any strong connection between who rearing children and who have much more interaction with children? From Dr. F’s observation-centered approach, there has not explained this connection clearly. In order to convince Dr. T’s interview-based evidence, we need to know that, according to his evidence, if children talked more about with their parents because they were rearing them instead of children missing parents much when they were rearing by villagers. Or we also need to know if rearing tradition in this island is prefer to using verble language communication instead of physical instruction, such as children imitated their caregivers much. If we could make sure any positive answers to these question would definitely w

SylviaMengyayaUID：3693199

No.31 government spending and residents attitudes on public schools

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim: Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
Data: both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools even though both cities have about the same number of residents
Warrant: both cities have about the same number of students; Parson City has always spent more on education in public schools.
Evidence: (1)the number of students in two cities; (2)information about the spending of tax revenue in the past 10 years; (3)information about the relationship between tax revenue spending and the citizen of these two cities.
开头：
According to the argument, residents in Parson City pay more value on the education in public schools when compared with that in Blue City because no matter as a proportion of its overall tax revenues or in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools, even though the number of residents in the two cities is similar. We need more evidence about the number of students in the two cities, information about the spending records in the past ten years and the relationship between citizen and tax revenue spending to valuate the argument.
中间段：
In addition, we need the information about the spending records of the two city in the past ten years. Although it is said that Parson City has recently spent twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools, the latter may spend fewer than the former only in recent years for some reasons. Therefore we need information about the spending records of the two cities in the past ten years to conform that whether or not, in most time, Parson City has spent more on its public schools than Blue City has.

改错练习：Point out the general class to which your examples belong
Intro paragraph:
Should we consider carefully about what consequences it will bring before we undertake risky action? The answer of this question depends on what kind of roles we play in our society.  It is true for the executors in a company because the risky action they undertake is concern with the operation of the whole company. For leaders of a country, they have to make careful consideration before a risky action as it is concerned with country security. However, the statement may not be true for firemen because their hesitation will result in more casualties.
修改后：
Should we consider what consequences it will bring carefully before we undertake risky action? The answer to this question depends on what kind of roles we play in our society.  It is true for the managers in a company because the risky action they undertake is concerned with the operation of the whole company. For governors of a country, they have to make careful consideration before a risky action as it is relevant to country security. However, the statement may not be true for those who always confront with agent situation such as firemen, whose hesitation may result in more casualties.

Herio_HKeKeUID：3657363

85) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


Claim: first study shows the most popular kind of reading material among citizens is literary classics.
Data:  In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material
Warrant: the study represent majority of people's choice in reading habits
Evidence:
1. the statistics of the University of Waymarsh means authority
2. most respondents can speak for all Waymarsh citizens

Claim: the second study shows the most popular kind of book among citizens is mystery novel
Data: a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel
Warrant: the number of checked-out book can reflect that how much people love it
没写完，占个坑白天补上

RazorLXUID：3543691

Choose a better position or point

Issue 6
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. [claim/comparison]

Original Text by 遠子w
Secondary school educatiaon nowadays tends to become experimental, in a way that can release students’ potentials and minds.(point) revise the topic sentence to better summarize the body paragraph 主要是experimental这个词不太合适 tend to adopt innovative pedagogical approaches …  而且这是真的么？ Instead of focusing on traditional subjects, many secondary schools broaden students’ scope of learning by providing elective courses that such as AP Psychology and AP Art History that enable students to explore more fields and develop their interests in distinctive areas.(information) Moreover, many teachers in secondary school start to incorporate discussions into classrooms so that students have opportunities to exchange ideas with each other and speak up their own opinions. (information) Through exploring different subjects and actively search ing for their interests, they are offered with opportunities to freely think about their future paths. (elaboration) Through discussions in the classrooms, they can develop their diverging thinking ability and consider theories and knowledge in textbooks critically. (elaboration) Even though they indeed need to take substantial standardized exams for different subjects so as to graduate, they still have a lot of time to explore and discuss issues that they find disputative rather than sorely memorizing information, thus setting their minds free. (elaboration)

Revision
Position: Formal education tends to restrain our minds.
Reasons:
1.        Generally, there are standard answers to examination questions.
2.        The emphasis of essential and comprehensive knowledge during the middle school.

[Need to add more]

AngelyyyUID：3625119

xiulin2015 发表于 2017-8-25 23:40
兩個Introductory paragraphs似乎是太冗長了。雖然老師有提到盡可能將分論點概括在首段，但是並不是把所有 ...

恩，我也发现这个问题，这几天对待作文有点水，自我检讨，我已经自己在习作里改过来，你可以看一下：
第一段
According to the letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper, the author made his claim that the Parson City presidents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do. To support the claim, the author described several evidences and implied several assumptions. However, the evidences need to be discussed before we accept the claim.

主题段1
To begin with, the author described the facts that both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools. Meanwhile, the fact is that the majority money spent comes from the taxes. The author implied that the total number of finance support for its public schools is more in Parson School than in Blue City. However, the evidence is not valid, it is reasonable to believe there might be other resource to support the finance of Blue City, for example, the donation. The letter doesn’t mention the recent situations in schools, possibility could be the financial support is enough in Blue, but lack in Parson.

The faculty situation and the number of students who study in schools recently.
-The new enrollments in both schools.
-If the teachers are not enough in Parson school
-If the faculty should be increase in Parson

The construction situation in schools recently
-The new equipment is under construction in Parson, but it is already built in Blue.
-There are unfinished projects need more financial support in Parson, but Blue doesn’t have this need.

AngelyyyUID：3625119

xiulin2015 发表于 2017-8-25 23:12
Arg 21 Dr. Field anthropologist

10) Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited  ...

感觉对于原文的驳斥少了一点？

ning97UID：3781898

Argument 85/87
Arg 87reading habits of library patrons

85) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

87) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading preferences.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


1.Claim: Most respondents said they prefered literary classics as reading material.

Warranty: the population of the first study respondents  are qualifed to represent the Waymarsh citizen which always borrow books from the public llibraries. (relevent)

Evidence: the constitution and popularity of the subjects are enough to represent the Waymarsh citizens.
2. Claim: Waymarsh citizens like reading mysterious  genres books.
    Warranty: The most frequently checked out of each public libraries in Way marsh  is  the mystery novel.
Assumption: I. The library is the only way for people to access the books.(There is no other accessable way to library books such as Internet or bookstores)
                  II. The best way to evaluate which types the people read most is the frequences of checked out.
                 III. The books about library are in the similar amount contrast to the mystery books. (the public )

Intro:
According to the type of book most frequently checked out of each of public libraries, which is against with the first study research results, the researchers concluded that the first study had misrepresented their reading habits. However, in the conduction, the researchers made some unstated assuption influencing the results about the representing meanings of frequency, the category where people find the book and the relevence between two research. I will present the assumpiton they made and evidence
we need to reinforce the conduction.
TS1:
To begin with, we need to reexamine the second research scupulously. The warranty is that the people borrow mystery books most frequently in each of public libraries. So there is an supposition that the public libraries are the only places where people could get the books, not in bookstores or the internet. In this way, we need stastics in other approaches they can get the books and add them up.
TS2:
In addition, we need weight whether the frequence is the standards people read more. They may choose to read in the libraries without checking out. Also, it is still possible because there are limited library books, quite fewer than the mystery books. And maybe it is easily to be checked out and won't be returned in a long time. So we need many other parameter about the libraries, including the amounts of two kinds of books, the time people borrowed the book and the frequencies people read the books in the libraries.

修改：我的第一篇习作，先感谢东扯扯同学的评价，我摘录如下。

61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

思路：第二种-different perspective 我把它作为应然性题目，即取决于是否有足够时间、能否考虑清楚、

Into paragraph
As we all know, living as a human being means that we must accept every consequence caused by our actions. Inevitably, we sometimes take a lot of consideration WC before we undertake the actions. But should we consider carefully before the ultimate decision every time? I think it depends on different conditions. improve the thesis statement by summarizing your main points
TS1
On the one hand, if there is any situation that allows you to carefully think,  especially those signficant situation, do it RP .
Example: personal attitude    1. apply for graduate school\jobs\majors
                governmental attitude    2.any regulations closely related to people's life
Focus on one example

TS2
One the other hand, if we couldn't find enough time or we could't find any possiblity, we may not waste the time on it.
Example: 1.Emergency conditions like earthquake\fireman
                2. some things we won't even find the roughly answer, such as whether the theoretical scientifc research.

conclusion:
After all analysis above, I persist WC that we should take carefully thinking RP as long as we have the time or we can get a roughly answer. In some other conditions, do as the first intuition.

批改如下
问题在于thesis statement只是回应了instruction，应该再补充outline statement，即概括主体段的内容。
根据作者列的outline，在不改变大意的前提下，我个人尝试修改的intro段如下
It is universally acknowledged that people should be responsible for their own actions, which means that risky action usually require a full consideration before being undertaken. However, I  do not agree that such full consideration is the compulsory prerequisite of any risky action. As far as I am concerned, we should take actions depending on specific conditions, namely whether we have time to think twice and whether we are able to assess the potential risk which are two important factors affecting our decision.

个人认为该作者列的提纲展开写全文的话可能不是很好写，首先点有点泛，其次分为正反两点，正面说完反过来说，略显单调，比较难展开。个人建议找三个角度，会比较好操作，时间有限的情况下也好展开。

本来打算标注是哪位同学的，这样他能看到是自己的被修改，能有借鉴意义，或许能从中受益。但鉴于没提前跟他打个招呼，这样比较冒犯，好像不大好就算了。我个人觉得别人帮忙看自己文章，常常能提供自己想不到的思路，发现自己不容易意识到的问题，可以学到很多。在此谢谢曾经给过我意见的小伙伴们。
---------------------------------------------------------------------
首先是情况分类讨论不够好，有一点反复在嚼的感觉，其次是没有申明自己的观点。所以我把大纲一起修改。
As Thomas saying about pursuing success, he suggested us to regard prudence as brothers. It is generally known that risky action usually require a full considersation before undertaken. However, I have some disagreement in the fully considersation. From my point, we should take actions depending on specific conditions, namely whether we have enough time to overthink, whether we could find out the outcomes and whether we can undertake the results. 所以新大纲也分三类讨论。

sweepyouUID：3559530

85) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim:  the respondents in the first study didn't tell the truth about their reading habits.
Facts: most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material;
the most frequently checked out books of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel
Outline:
1. About citizens' reading habit. Do they prefer purchasing a book on literary classic or borrow a book from the library? Or they just want to read in the library instead of checking it out? How often do they finish a book on each category?
2. About the  public library. Do they provide enough high-qualified literary classic books? Is there any private library?
3. About the category of a book. Are there books that belong to both the categories of literary classic and mystery?

In the study, the scholar claims that the respondents didn't tell the truth about their reading habit, according to the fact that they didn't check out as many literary classics as mystery novel although they claimed they preference was the former one. However, in order to scrutinize this argument, we need to find more evidence about the citizens' reading habit, the conditions of the public libraries as well as any other libraries, as well as the exact categories on books.

To begin with, we need to find more evidence about the citizens' reading habit. Do they prefer borrowing a literary classic book from a library, reading within a library or a bookstore, or they'd rather purchase a book and have a collection of their own? It is quite possible that a literary classic book is too time-consuming to read, and they could not finish it within the limited time, so they'd rather purchase one. Or if they only want to read some highlight of a book, they would just read it within a library or a bookstore. If these were the cases, not checking out literary classics so often as mystery novels didn't necessarily mean that they don't have a preference on literary classics, and thus the conclusion of the argument may largely be weakened.


revise your topic sentence to address the keywords in the issue statement
I49：
Claim: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from those whose views contradict our own.
Reason: Disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.


首段：
I strongly agree that it is much harder for us to learn from people with contradictory views than those who share similar ideas.呼应了claim中的关键词。 Basically, if we don't share the same belief or values system, there will be no common grounds on which we can develop an open discussion. Moreover, even if we share a common value system and thus free from some fundamental disagreements, we may still learn more from ones with similar ways of thinking than one, because of the same methodology or tools we use.但悲剧的就是完全没有呼应reason中的关键词，完全忘了有reason这回事儿了。

修改：
I strongly agree that it is much harder for us to learn from people with contradictory views than those who share similar ideas. Basically, if we don't share the same belief or values system, there will be no common grounds on which we can develop an open discussion. In such cases, many embarrassing divergences would be engendered, which may cause stress between the two sides or even end up with unpleasant conflicts. Moreover, even if we share a common value system and thus free from some fundamental disagreements, we may still learn more from ones with similar ways of thinking than one, because of the same methodology or tools we use, as well as the harmonious atmosphere of discussion generated.


ts1: It is almost impossible for people to reach a consensus whey they share different belief systems. Generally, one's belief system, such as a religious one, is a set of transcendental moral orders, which cannot be proved or disproved by mere facts.
-Theists and atheists cannot persuade each other in a debate of "whether God exists".
-In this case, we cannot agree with the premises of their opinions, let alone learning anything from an open discussion.
也是同样的毛病，忽略了reason中的关键词，但是为了避免啰嗦，我加上一个形容词来表示情绪，不知道行不行。

ts1: It is almost impossible for people to reach an agreeable consensus whey they share different belief systems.

ts2: Hardly can we learn from people with different value systems. Although in this case, an open debate is possible, we can hardly agree with ones who stand a different ground.
-Some people are ideal ones, while others tend to be more practical. It is hard for them to adopt the way  in doing things from each other
e.g. supporters for the left wing or the right wing?  
修改ts2:
Similarly, hardly can we learn from people with different value systems because of the tesion between the two sides.

ts3: It's also hard for us to learn from people with different way of thinking.
-Some one tend to make decisions based on their feelings, while others on their logical thinking.
e.g. artists v. scientists
修改ts3:
It's also hard for us to learn from people with different way of thinking, because of the negative emotional effects.

MargueritexyUID：3788684

Arg 31 government spending and residents attitudes on public schools -o

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.

In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend the city-run public schools comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school seven though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim: The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education.
Data: Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school seven though both cities have about the same number of residents.
Warrant: Parson City spends more proportion of taxes on public education per year than Blue City does so they place a higher value on education than Blue city
Assumption: Maybe they differ in their incomes so the total taxes are different.

Claim: Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
Data: Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school seven though both cities have about the same number of residents.
Warrant: Parson City residents has recently spent more taxes for public school than Blue City residents do so Parson City places a high value for a good education in public schools.
Assumption: The quality of education cannot be measured by investment simply because it is related to many factors such as investment, teachers and technology.

Claim: The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education.
Data: Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school seven though both cities have about the same number of residents.
Warrant: Parson City spends more proportion of taxes on public education per year than Blue City does so they place a higher value on education than Blue city
Assumption: Parson City spends much more money on public education may be influenced by the number of students.

开头段：
According to the letter, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do just because Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school seven though both cities have about the same number of residents. However, in order to make this conclusion be more reliable and certain, we need to ask more questions to make sure of it.

中间段：Initially, the author implies that the region's cities differ in the budgetary priority they give to public education when the author use the example that Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school seven though both cities have about the same number of residents. However, input of money cannot represent the budgetary priority directly and convincingly. For example, if there are more students in Parson City than Blue City, and in order to keep the development of public education, Parson City needs to spend more money on it. Thus the factor they consider about budgetary priority is students and school’s development. In addition, the city may also take teachers and technology into account. Nevertheless, budgetary priority is determined by multiple factors.

批改如下:
开头段
In modern society, with the pace of life becoming faster and faster, for those working in metropolitan city,  people do not have enough time to discover the reality or truth of everything. Although in the short term, putting more attention on appealing image can help us save a lot of time, it does not mean that in the long term,  producing a fascinating image is more important than the reality.

TS1: In our daily life, the most popular commodities are the ones which may not have outstanding images but always provide high qualities and low price.
A.        The mooncake for example.
a.        In short term, people give the Moon Cake (as gifts?)  ,which are well packaged, to others as gifts on the Moon Festival. Because most people giving them to others once time per year, the appealing package can easily show how expensive they are.
b.        But people always buy those which are not well packaged and also tastes good as their daily food in long term. Which can save a lot of money without the costly package.
need more appropriate examples



B.        The articles on the website.
a.        Many writers give their articles some appealing titles, but actually the contents of them do not have much thoughtful things. People like the articles with high value contents.
b.        But without a good title, people may cannot pay more attention on them. need more appropriate examples
(the image of an article?)

C.        With a good image, the good things with high quality have more chances to be well known. So an appealing image is also important.
a. The most popular Apple Phones which do not only have the high performance operating system and hardware, but also have a good look. The appealing appearance of it is one of the reasons that make it popular.

个人认为，作者开头段很好，但是展开讨论比较困难，例子不太好说。
TS1的例子不太合适，说到月饼，短期内大家送礼喜欢看包装，但是长期自己吃或者买倾向于实惠的月饼。这个例子不太适合观点。因为你的观点是，短期内大家送礼喜欢看包装，如果你想说长远来看，实用更重要的话，还是应该对你短期描述的内容加以说明，也就是说不要变换对象。
TS2的例子不太完整，因为你说了人们喜欢看标题吸引人的文章，但是后边没有说到人们会看重实际内容的例子，就相当于说了你的观点的前半段，却没有后半段，也可能是写忘了。。。
希望大家共同进步~

desperado-17UID：3822238

10)
Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid.
Data: In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village.
Warrant: Children in Tertia were reared by their own biological parents rather than by an entire village.
Questions: what are the questions taken to interview these children?

Claim: Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid.
Data: Twenty years ago, Dr. Field …
Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp …
The conclusions drawn by those two anthropologists are different.
Warrant: the Dr. Karp’s study conducted recently accurately respect the Tertian child-rearing practices.
Questions: Have the Tertian child-rearing practices in the island changed over 20 years?

Claim: Future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.
Data: Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that ...
Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid.
Warrant: the invalid conclusion drawn by the Dr. Field confirms the observation-centered approach invalid as well.
Questions: Is it reasonable to evaluate the observation-centered approach just according to a result obtained through that approach?

Introduction
Dr. Karp conducted a study about the island of Tertia using an interview-centered method. And the conclusion he obtained by the method was different with that of Dr. Field, who studied Tertia culture through an observation-centered approach. Thus, Dr. Karp argued that Dr. Field’s conclusion must be invalid and some anthropologists recommend that, in order to obtain accurate information, the interview-centered method should be adopted in the future research about Tertia culture. However, a number of questions about  
have to be answered in order to decide if the argument and the recommend are reasonable.

ts1
To begin with, in order to evaluate the argument and recommend, we need to know what the questions have been used to interview these children. Maybe the questions using in the interview would lead the children to lead the children to think of or talk about their biological parents more. For example, the children may be asked about what they would like to do with their parents or whether they miss their own parents. Questions like that would let the children say more about their own parents, but it would not mean that they are reared by their biological parents. As a result, Dr. Karp's conclusion would be weakened greatly.
ts2
In addition, we need to know whether the child-rearing practices in the island of Tertia have changed over the twenty years. Dr. Field conducted the study in twenty years ago, while the Dr. karp's research is accomplished recently. So, it is possible that the family structures and child-rearing practices in Tertia have changed greatly due to some other factors. For example, maybe some immigrants with distinct lifestyles and culture moved into the island in large number in the past twenty years, and their coming probably changed the local child-rearing practices completely, from the entire village rearing to biological parents rearing. In that case, the argument of Dr. Karp that Dr. Field’s conclusion must be invalid would be weakened.