GRE argument 14——近期高频，大家快来踩踩讨论~

郝_仁UID: 3643919

  While it may be true that only by hiring those who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night can prosper a business, the author's argument does not make a cogent case for it. Although this argument might seem reasonable for the results that hiring people who need less than 6 hours can facilitate the working results at first glance, it is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus not strong enough to lead to the conclusion.
  Citing the survey of 300 male and female advertising executives, the author reports that a business can be prospered through the less sleeping hours. It is unclear, however, the scope and validity of the survey. For example, the survey could have asked the limited field that only included advertising executives, and the whole business may usually take various areas, such as the International trading, Internet business, into consideration. Meanwhile, those executives may not fully reflect stuffs' condition, either. The sample may not be representative of the whole business, asking only those advertising executives. The survey may have been 10 pages long, with 2 questions dedicated to sleeping hours. We just do not know. Unless the survey is fully representative, valid and reliable, it can not be used to effectively back the author's argument.
  Building upon the implication that higher margins and faster growth are the results of needing less sleeping hours, the author suggests that hiring people sleeping less than 6 hours could totally increase the efficiency of business. If the high incomes result from the need of sleeping less than 6 hours, which can intend to choose someone who only need 6 hours, it may be true. For example, an advertising person who only needs 6 hours sleeping time can use the rest of the day to deal with business events, which works more time than the average level of people, thereby increasing the productivity of the whole company. If it is true, it conceivably could be remedied. But if the high incomes result from the high efficiency of workers, rather than the long working hours, this may not be true. People with high working efficiency can finish his work more two times than others in the same time. But he may easily feel tired and need more sleeping hours to recover his energy. This is not something likely to be affected by the need of less 6 sleeping hours. Consequently, hiring people who need less 6 hours people may have no impact upon increasing the incomes. Regardless of whether the sleeping hours can affect the efficiency of working or not, the author does not effectively show a connection between the needs of sleeping hours and business incomes.

yume1491UID: 3829524

You are missing intro and conclusion paragraphs. Adding some connection words might help.