issue41 非主流学科8月高频—请大家帮看看这次的论证可以了不？寻努力方向，谢谢

flyxwUID: 106489

------题目------
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
------正文------
Do nonmaimstream inquiries assume an important role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science, as the speaker assert? As far as I see, nonmainstream inquiries is useful and necessary in comforting upset and satisfying curiosity, but has little to do with the real problems.

To begin with, the inquiry of mainstream science comfort people when they confront problems beyond the capabilities of mainstream science. In the old ages, when mainstream science are rather unadvanced, most of problems people confront cannot be addressed by the mainstream sciences, people tended to satisfy their unaddressed problem by using of the ways of nonmainstream science. For instance, the emperors in old days believed that it is the god who predominate the war. So they used the astrology to foresee the destiny of wars and encourage their soldier. The common people, again, tended to seek for the god’s protect to dispel their worry about hopeless diseases due to the unadvanced medical science and treatment. Nowadays, when the mainstream science have highly advanced, people who no longer believe the destiny of life and need not to worry about their safety of life in most time, the function of mainstream science seems to be less important than before. However, when people face the extreme danger and cannot find help by mainstream science, for example, the death, they still turn to the fortune-telling and paranormal pursuit to get comfort. As a conclusion, no matter how advanced the mainstream science is, if only they still have something impossible, people will turn to nonmainstream science to find comfort.

In addition, the inquiry of nonmainstream science helps to satisfy human curiosity to the unknown world. In this point of view, nonmainstream science serves as a role of mentor rather than the one of comforter or protector in satisfying human needs. In every period of a society, human curiosity seems to develop much faster than orthodox science. Before Darwin established the theory of evolution and explained the origin of species, humans get from the astrology satisfied answer that they are sons and daughters of the god. Before Columbus find out the American continent, people imagine the world is flat by accepting the explanation of theology. Even in the highly advanced technology and science of today, the full curious people still wander the last unexplained corner of mainstream science—the mystery of death and birth. By turning to the field such as psychic and paranormal pursuits, people imagine the spirits of the gone living happily in other world. By explaining the world in otherwise way, nonmainstream science satisfy people’s curiosity with abundant imaginations.         

Although the mainstream science serves to relax and release people’s mind, the overemphasis on the function of these science would be harmful by making people much negative when they confront their real problems. After all, the final solution of real problems can only come from the mainstream science. Further, if a person suffering a fever only goes to a fortune-teller to seek for the solution, he may just be told that it is the invention of the god. And thus, he may resolve the problem by seeking help of the god and refusing to any medical treatment, and eventually risk the danger of death.

In the final analysis, mainstream science indeed has an vital function in satisfy human needs which cannot resolve by the mainstream science, and the human curiosity to unknown world. But overemphasizing the importance of nonmainstream science is a mistake, for they do little to  resolve our real problems. All in all, we could enjoy the benefit from the mainstream science and take our courage in both hands to confront and solve our problems by the way of mainstream science.

lakeqianUID: 157560

is a mistake-->is mistaken
resolve by 主动被动？
the inquiry of mainstream science comfort people when they confront problems beyond the capabilities of mainstream science.少了non-吧。没看懂这句。

flyxwUID: 106489

to lake: 那句是想说，当人们遇到主流科学解决不了的问题的时候，非主流科学起到了安慰作用。不知道怎么表达才对？
to falchion&glaive: 问题是什么呢？麻烦想起了告诉我，谢谢！
PS：前两篇跑题跑怕了，反反复复改了两个小时 :)
对怎样论述比较有效还是没有很好的认识，写的时候也总是害怕跑题打不开思路，希望朋友们指教我一下，谢谢！

kemiliaUID: 171025

看看哦：）

cleonlxUID: 172606

the inquiry of mainstream science comfort people when they confront problems beyond the capabilities of mainstream science.少了non-吧。没看懂这句。

我也不大懂这一句。
inquiry 表达“对知识、资料或真理的寻求”(金山词霸)
1 : examination into facts or principles  (MW)
好像加上个non就能看懂嘞。
我觉得最好是不要inquiry。

In the old ages, when mainstream science are rather unadvanced, most of problems people confront cannot be addressed by the mainstream sciences, people tended to satisfy their unaddressed problem by using of the ways of nonmainstream science.

有些问题……mainstream 和 nonmainstream是个相对的问题，现在nonmainstream的astrology,fortune-telling在old age可是mainstream的。主流不是一直不变的概念，建议把这一句改写一下，或者加上限定词，限定一下是nowadays mainstream science are rather unadvanced...

the function of mainstream science seems to be less important than before.

是不是又写错嘞？


总的来说不错，B1阐述非主流对主流的补充。
B2阐述非主流在满足人们好奇心上面的功用。
我倒是觉得B3没什么必要，讲述过渡相信非主流带来的潜在危害，和题目‘Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
’一点关系都没有嘛。
恩，换一种说法……我觉得你是完全同意嘞原题的观点来论述的，你主要论述的地方是'Do these nonmainstream areas satisfying human needs' 关键词在于satisfying，所以我觉得B3就没什么用了。

要用B3的话，我觉得是论述'Do these nonmainstream areas play a VITAL role in satisfying human needs' 关键词在于VITAL。
MW上的vital释义第四条
4 a : fundamentally concerned with or affecting life or living beings: as  (1) : tending to renew or refresh the living  : INVIGORATING  (2) : destructive to life  : MORTAL  b : of the utmost importance  *a vital clue*  *vital resources*
就是说讨论是否是fundamentally的时候，用B3来论述不是vital的，现在的nonmainstream是且仅是对于mainstream的一个补足，但并不能play a vital role。

恩，个人意见，仅供参考。

flyxwUID: 106489

谢谢kemilia参加，另外to cleonlx: 看得真仔细呀（还动用了MW），又提了很多宝贵意见，1楼都已修改。
那个inquiry of nonmainstream science 的确是有词不搭意，实际不加inquiry才能作全句的主语。这样的毛病我还时常出现，非常感谢你！
另外那个B3，我觉得是可以的
因为题目既然提出一个观点：nonmainstream science扮演着一个最重要的角色，我则需要对这个问题（是否重要，有什么作用）提出自己的观点：是有重要作用（B1B2），但因为它的作用有限因而重要性应该适当考虑（B3）。实际上我的观点不是完全赞同，B3是对B1B2的内容补充，也是对TS中表明的立场的一部分。
我想你的意思是说，vital是指upmost important对吧？实际上我对题目的响应也就是为了说明：有作用，但不是最重要。不能是最重要的原因就是过度依赖有害。 恩，你看是不:)

cleonlxUID: 172606

恩…………有看了一遍你的文章，好像你是对的。
大概我和你的想法有些不一样，我的思路是重点在于nonmainstream没什么用，然后再让步承认它有一些作用，造成了我看了你头两段便有了个错觉：你很赞同nonmainstream有用了…………
大汗一下…………

flyxwUID: 106489

anyway, discussion makes clearer cognition,3x!

ialalUID: 168098

------题目------
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
------正文------
Do nonmaimstream inquiries assume an important role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science, as the speaker assert? As far as I see, nonmainstream inquiries is useful and necessary in comforting upset and satisfying curiosity, but has little to do with the[不用特指] real[有些含糊] problems.[nice]

To begin with, the inquiry of mainstream science comfort people when they confront problems beyond the capabilities of mainstream science[替换一下]. In the old ages, when mainstream science are rather unadvanced, most of[去掉] problems people confront[encountered] cannot be addressed by the mainstream sciences, [thus]people tended to satisfy their unaddressed problem by using of the ways of nonmainstream science. For instance, the emperors in old days believed that it is the god who predominate the war. So they used the astrology to foresee the destiny of wars and encourage their soldier. The common people, again, tended to seek for the god’s protect to dispel their worry about hopeless diseases due to the unadvanced medical science and treatment. Nowadays, when the mainstream science have highly advanced, people who no longer believe the destiny of life and need not to worry about their safety of life in most time, the function of mainstream science seems to be less important than before. However, when people face the extreme danger and cannot find help by mainstream science, for example, the death, they still turn to the fortune-telling and paranormal pursuit to get comfort. As a conclusion, no matter how advanced the mainstream science is, if only they still have something impossible, people will turn to nonmainstream science to find comfort.[总体来说这段很充分了，就对问题的解释与论点的支持上看没有问题，但个人认为，对事物产生原因的深层次分析还是不足，如为何担心，为何不能解决，期望怎样的解决等等]

In addition, the inquiry of nonmainstream science helps to satisfy human curiosity to the unknown world. In this point of view, nonmainstream science serves as a role of mentor rather than the one of comforter or protector in satisfying human needs. [很清楚]In every period of a society, human curiosity seems to develop much faster than orthodox science. Before Darwin established the theory of evolution and explained the origin of species, humans get from the astrology satisfied answer that they are sons and daughters of the god. Before Columbus find out the American continent, people imagine the world is flat by accepting the explanation of theology. Even in the highly advanced technology and science of today[有语病], the full curious people still wander[表迷路是否不及物？漫步是及物吧] the last unexplained corner of mainstream science—the mystery of death and birth. By turning to the field such as psychic and paranormal pursuits, people imagine the spirits of the gone living happily in other world. By explaining the world in otherwise way, nonmainstream science satisfy people’s curiosity with abundant imaginations. [最后两个by可一点出comfort之类的词,与首句呼应]

Although the mainstream[?] science serves to relax and release people’s mind, the overemphasis on the function of these science would be harmful by making people much negative when they confront their real problems.[可以更深刻一些，比如人心理上对确定性的渴望等等] After all, the final solution of real problems can only come from the mainstream science. Further, if a person suffering a fever only goes to a fortune-teller to seek for the solution, he may just be told that it is the invention of the god. And thus, he may resolve the problem by seeking help of the god and refusing to any medical treatment, and eventually risk the danger of death.

In the final analysis, mainstream science indeed has an vital function in satisfy human needs which cannot resolve by the mainstream science, and the human curiosity to unknown world. But overemphasizing the importance of nonmainstream science is a mistake, for they do little to resolve our real problems. All in all, we could enjoy the benefit from the mainstream science and take our courage in both hands to confront and solve our problems by the way of mainstream science.

[总的来说相当不错了，论证思路上也是很典型的正反式，如果要加强，个人认为在产生现象的深层次原因上多说几句，比如must和will]

flyxwUID: 106489

3x，今天太晚了，明天改正
谢谢鼓励！