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[同主题temp] issue31 求砖 修改之后 希望大家来评 [复制链接]

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发表于 2004-8-23 20:00:36 |只看该作者

issue31 求砖 修改之后 希望大家来评

Issue31  Money spent on the research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.

The speaker asserts that Money spent on the research is generally money well invested. Although on some occasions there is some harmful impact due to abusing the research, the research brings about the progress of development of human being and thus it is worth investing in.

Money spent on the research is generally a good investment because the research brings about the advancement of knowledge and helps the people to deal with many difficult problems so that people can have better lives. One apt illustration of this point involves the extension of life span. Many scientists all over the world plunge themselves into the research about how to cure the cancer. A lot of treatments are applied to inhibit the increasing of the sells of cancer. The lives of some patients are prolonged from several months to over the years and they have a normal life as common people without any suffering. Nothing is more important than the lives of the people. The scientific research makes the patients saved from the verge of the death. Therefore the money spent on the research is worth and the research is the basic foundation for the breakthroughs of curing hard diseases.

Moreover, even the results of the research are controversial, I still concede that money spent on the research is generally a sound investment. For example, many scientists are devoted to the research of the genetic transformation because it can ameliorate the type of the plants and increase the quantity of the produce. But some people worry about this endeavor that contradicts to the tradition. However, there is not any data and research that shows that this endeavor exerts the bad influence on the balance of the ecology. For a long time people used the fertilizers and pesticides to produce the growing number of the produce yet it leads to the great pollution of the environment but using this technology can avoid the pollution to some extent. It is another idea to replace the old one when the people are searching for another way to deal with this problem. So to some sense it is a great progress no matter whether or not it has a drawback that now the people can not see and the people will get good experiences for the further study. In short, this research is worth even the results may be controversial.

Admittedly, the research brings about some negative influence on the people’s lives. For example, the hundreds of thousands of innocent people are murdered and maimed by atomic blasts and by nuclear meltdowns with the advent of the modern weapons. However, it is not the faults of the research. The scientists are making the research only for the advancement of the technology yet some people have so strong ambition to get the maximum interests for their own sake with the consideration of the humanity and the protection of the environment so that they abuse the results of the research. This behavior can be controlled by the morality of humanity and the rules the behavior. The results of the research can not be contradicted by the wrong abuse and as long as the research is made reasonable use of, the people can get the benefit from it and make progress relying on it.

In sum, as long as we do the research for the good purpose and take correct advantage of the research. The research will enhance the standard of the living level and advance the development of the society. So money spent on the research is generally a good investment.

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沙发
发表于 2004-8-23 22:06:59 |只看该作者
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发表于 2004-8-23 22:56:25 |只看该作者
我想我的body2是说转基因的食品,使没有任何证据说他有害也没有任何证据说明他没害。所以叫controversial吧。不包括克隆的问题。ts是写的糟糕了一点。我想说明的是用转基因的可以避免农药的污染,他改良了品种增产增效。它之所得值得投资因为他的前景广泛,它在克服人们千百年来使用农药的危害,从这个意义上已经可以说是思维一种突破,和创新。因此值得投资。

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地板
发表于 2004-8-23 23:02:45 |只看该作者
总体来讲不错,比较明了。这篇我看了很久,一些地方还是拿不太准,共同探讨!
Money spent on the research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.

The speaker asserts that Money spent on the research is generally money well invested. Although on some occasions there is some harmful impact due to abusing the research, the research brings about the progress of development of human being and thus it is worth investing in.

Money spent on the research is generally a good investment because the research brings about the advancement of knowledge and helps the people to deal with many difficult problems so that people can have better lives.讨论,生命是可数的,生活是不可数的吧 One apt illustration of this point involves the extension of life span. Many scientists all over the world plunge themselves into the research about how to cure the cancer. A lot of treatments are applied to inhibit the increasing of the sells of cancer. The lives of some patients are prolonged from several months to over the years and they have a normal life as common people without any suffering. Nothing is more important than the lives of the people. The scientific research makes the patients saved from the verge of the death. Therefore the money spent on the research is worth and the research is the basic foundation for the breakthroughs of curing hard diseases.
关于这段的例证,癌症算作有争议的研究?如果是,阐述出来就更好了。看了下段的让步,上段主要是在阐述前半句,个人倾向于不作论述的重点,有待讨论。

Moreover, even the results of the research are controversial, I still concede that money spent on the research is generally a sound investment. For example, many scientists are devoted to the research of the genetic transformation because it can ameliorate the type of the plants and increase the quantity of the produce. But some people worry about this endeavor that contradicts to the tradition. However, there is not any data and research that shows that this endeavor exerts the bad influence on the balance of the ecology. For a long time people used the fertilizers and pesticides to produce the growing number of the produce yet it leads to the great pollution of the environment but using this technology can avoid the pollution to some extent. It is another idea to replace the old one when the people are searching for another way to deal with this problem. So to some sense it is a great progress no matter whether or not it has a drawback that now the people can not see and the people will get good experiences for the further study. In short, this research is worth even the results may be controversial.
关于转基因作物的利弊,我不大了解;其弊端文中只是指出了其有悖于传统,有利的一面是通过于化肥和农药的比较来说明的。然而,今天的转基因食品还没有得到广泛的认同,以及带来巨大的前进,有待探讨。

Admittedly, the research brings about some negative influence on the people’s lives. For example, the hundreds of thousands of innocent people are murdered and maimed by atomic blasts and by nuclear meltdowns with the advent of the modern weapons. However, it is not the faults of the research. The scientists are making the research only for the advancement of the technology yet some people have so strong ambition to get the maximum interests for their own sake with the consideration of the humanity and the protection of the environment so that they abuse the results of the research. This behavior can be controlled by the morality of humanity and the rules the behavior. The results of the research can not be contradicted by the wrong abuse do not contradict with,主动语态何如?and as long as the research is made reasonable use of, the people can get the benefit from it and make progress relying on it.
有争议的发明本身是有价值的,负面影响是因为滥用,认为可以拿到上面,作为RESEARCH的两面性来讲,如何?阐述的再具体一些就更好了

In sum, as long as we do the research for the good purpose and take correct advantage of the research. 从句于主句之间不要断The research will enhance the standard of the living level and advance the development of the society. So money spent on the research is generally a good investment.
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Cancer巨蟹座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2004-8-24 10:36:51 |只看该作者
我还有点想不明白,题目说even the results are controversial ,那就是限定在这个前提下讨论马?
在这个前提下,是那个研究成果利大于弊,就可以说是值得投资了吗?我对a good investment,觉得它只要促进人类的发展,改善人类的生活,就是了。如果现在还看不出有什么大弊,而将来产生很严重的问题。那是 a good investment吗?



基本同意以上几位观点。你的确需要研究一下ts的写法。
even the results are controversial可以用一个body段来讨论,不必全文都围绕这个展开。
关于什么是a good investment,你可以自己给它下一个定义,如果你认为“它只要促进人类的发展,改善人类的生活,就是了”,是可以的。

“如果现在还看不出有什么大弊,而将来产生很严重的问题”。一般来说这不算a good investment,这也是ets出此题的意思,所谓controversial不就是对人类到底有没有益,短期有还是长远有?有没有害?短期还是长期?对谁有利对谁有害?

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发表于 2004-8-24 11:25:26 |只看该作者
我想问我是,如果我的b1,把主题句改成研究带来促进人类的发展,改善人类的生活。我后面的例证是不是有力的说明了?我后面的逻辑是没有比生命更重要的了,所以延长了寿命,就是进步。所以应该是一项有益的投资。

中间那段转基因食品,是不是可以这样写,因为我们在研究的目标是提高产量而改善农药造成的污染。而研究之初是无法预料到以后的效益的。所以它在解决当前的问题具有突破性的进展,我们就应当说这是值得实验的。具体到是否要大规模投入生产要在局部地区试验n年以后才能推广。但就这种尝试本身来说已经是一种突破了,所以是值得投资的。这样可以吗?

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发表于 2004-8-24 13:55:34 |只看该作者
你的pm收到~~也回复了

正巧看到你的作文,先占个座吧 :)

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Cancer巨蟹座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2004-8-24 19:07:10 |只看该作者
我想问我是,如果我的b1,把主题句改成研究带来促进人类的发展,改善人类的生活。我后面的例证是不是有力的说明了?我后面的逻辑是没有比生命更重要的了,所以延长了寿命,就是进步。所以应该是一项有益的投资。


B1这样写可以的


中间那段转基因食品,是不是可以这样写,因为我们在研究的目标是提高产量而改善农药造成的污染。而研究之初是无法预料到以后的效益的。所以它在解决当前的问题具有突破性的进展,我们就应当说这是值得实验的。具体到是否要大规模投入生产要在局部地区试验n年以后才能推广。但就这种尝试本身来说已经是一种突破了,所以是值得投资的。这样可以吗?

也没有多大问题,只要你能自圆其说就可以了。其实AW题目很多都是要你给它一个定义然后自己去证明,只要合理就可以

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发表于 2004-8-31 06:09:50 |只看该作者
Issue31 Money spent on the research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.

The speaker asserts that Money spent on the research is generally money well invested.这个开头。。。invest的用法不对劲啊,再说money is money这样的说法显得罗嗦,而且用词也并不能体现什么新意,尽管你前面用了spend ,后面用了invest。。。而且invest的用法你可以自己查一下,用宾语加宾补的情况比较好 Although on some occasions there is some harmful impact due to abusing the research,这里不严谨,而且很武断 the research brings about the progress of development of human being and thus it is worth investing in.句子别扭,建议再改一下

Money spent on the research is generally a good investment because the research brings about the advancement of knowledge and helps the people to deal with many difficult problems so that people can have better lives. One apt illustration of this point involves the extension of life span. Many scientists all over the world plunge themselves into the research about how to cure the cancer. A lot of treatments are applied to inhibit the increasing of the sellscells of cancer. The lives of some patients are prolonged from several months to over the years and they havelead更好些 a normal life as common people without any suffering. Nothing is more important than the lives of the people. The scientific research makes the patients saved from the verge of the death. Therefore the money spent on the research is worth应该是worthwhile吧,感觉worth做表语不表示这个意思 and the research is the basic foundation for the breakthroughs of curing hard diseases.关于语言,句子有些显得罗嗦了。。。关于内容和组织,这段话应该提到题目的后半句,否则,大家都知道money应该spend的,你这样只说明了一部分,而且不是题目想要的那一部分

Moreover, even the results of the research are controversial, I still concede勉强承认?让步? that money spent on the research is generally a sound investment. For example, many scientists are devoted to the research of the genetic transformation hoho~~偶对这个熟悉,天天做这些。。。because it can ameliorate the type of the plants专业角度讲,转基因不是主要为了改善type的,品种《》种类 and increase the quantity另外,除了产量,还应该提到质量的,当然,评卷的可能不会从这个方面说你不严谨 of the produce. But some people worry about this endeavor that contradicts to the tradition.这句话不太地道,我用金山糍粑一个一个词查一次才看懂什么意思 However, there is not any datadata是复数,所以主谓一致不对 and research that shows单数?修饰谁的 that this endeavor exerts the bad influence on the balance of the ecology. For a long time people used the fertilizers and pesticides to produce the growing number of the produce yet it leads to the great pollution of the environment but using this technology can avoid the pollution to some extent. It is another idea to replace the old one when the people are searching for another way to deal with this problem. So to some sense it is a great progress no matter whether or not it has a drawback that now the people can not see and the people will get good experiences for the further study. In short, this research is worth even the results may be controversial.这个例子举的个人认为不太恰当,所以具体的用词我没有详细看了。你谈到转基因的利弊,重点讨论是不是有利,以及利大还是弊大,但是这个例子并不十分支持即使结果controversial但是仍然要花钱去做研究这个题目

Admittedly, the research什么research ?你这样说不确切 brings about some negative influence on the people’s lives. For example, the hundreds of thousands of innocent people are murdered and maimed by atomic blasts and by nuclear meltdowns with the advent of the modern weapons. However, it is not the faults of the research. The scientists are making the research only for the advancement of the technology yet some people have so strong ambition to get the maximum interests for their own sake with the consideration of the humanity and the protection of the environment so that they abuse这个词的搭配不准确 the results of the research. This behavior can be controlled by the morality of humanity and the rules the behavior. The results of the research can not be contradicted by the wrong abuse and as long as the research is made reasonable use of, the people can get the benefit from it and make progress relying on it. 还是例子和观点。。。楼主再想想

In sum, as long as we do the research for the good purpose and take correct advantage of the research. 这个句子不全,是错误的The research will enhance the standard of the living levellevel可以省略 and advance the development of the society. So money spent on the research is generally a good investment.结尾仍然不是很准确
总结一下,如何很好的扣题——对于题目中的even句,绝对要强调的。而且是在那个        前提下讨论的。
发上来的有点晚了,前些天我在外面上网,很不方便,改好的文章在自己电脑里。今天总算用u盘带到实验室发上来了。抱歉~~

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发表于 2004-9-3 01:40:03 |只看该作者

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发表于 2004-9-3 08:00:03 |只看该作者
我觉得题目说的是even甚至当,潜台词说的是其他时候都是好的投资,而且even的时候也是。
所以我觉得应当在b1的时候写大多数的时候,但是应当少写。


第二段,我想写的是even的情况。我想怎么是好的投资呢?就是它能为人类造福,即利大于弊。即使它不能产生很大的作用,但它已经是人类思想的一次飞跃,提出新的观念对于人类长久的问题的解决。我想这也算是好的投资了吧。
所以对于转基因食品来说虽然争论很多,这应该算是controversial 了吧,但是方向和手段都是人类一种新的尝试。

b3,我也是说的很不能说服人。想说的是就像武器的制造,我觉得是人类征服自然的工具。可是现在用来自相残杀,是人们自己滥用研究结果的结果。

我已经改了好几遍了,但总是觉得不怎么合适题目。对于题目的理解不知是否正确。例子很难说服人吧。我现在也开始混乱了。

ps 下面的女孩的照片是你吗?你大概是学生物的吧?嘻嘻。还可以从生活中得到这么多的快乐,很是羡慕。还有几天了。加油了!我的日子定了,你的要是还不知道,你要打电话查询一下了。祝好!

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发表于 2004-9-3 12:05:31 |只看该作者
Issue31 Money spent on the research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.

The speaker asserts that Money spent on the research is generally money well invested. Although on some occasions there is some harmful impact due to abusing the research, the research brings about the progress of development of human being and thus it is worth investing in.

Money spent on the research is generally a good investment because the research brings about the advancement of knowledge and helps the people to deal with many difficult problems so that people can have better lives. One apt illustration of this point involves the extension of life span. Many scientists all over the world plunge themselves into the research about how to cure the cancer. A lot of treatments are applied to inhibit the increasing of the sellscells of cancer. The lives of some patients are prolonged from several months to over the years and they have a normal life as common people without any suffering. Nothing is more important than the lives of the people. The scientific research makes the patients saved from the verge of the death. Therefore the money spent on the research is worthworthwhile and the research is the basic foundation for the breakthroughs of curing hard diseases.你要说明money spent on research is good investment。一个research有很多好处,如你举的cancer investigation,那么有好处的research就是一个good investment了吗?我觉得更好的further your statement is that you should point out the insurmountable rewards/profits, since the research itself bring advances。最好是把钱这个东西再提到纸面上.或者你对good investment下一个概念,有助于对后面的讨论

Moreover, even the results of the research are controversial, I still concede that money spent on the research is generally a sound investment. For example, many scientists are devoted to the research of the genetic transformation because it can ameliorate the type of the plants and increase the quantity of the produce. But some people worry about this endeavor that contradicts to the tradition.这里不是tradition的问题,你想说ethics伦理吧?但plant不会涉及伦理问题 However, there is not any data and research that shows that this endeavor exerts the bad influence on the balance of the ecology.这个论据不好,事实上有很多data and bad influence证明了转基因植物对ecology的影响 For a long time people used the fertilizers and pesticides to produce the growing numbernumbers of the produce yet it leads to the great pollution of the environment but using this technology can avoid the pollution to some extent. It is another idea to replace the old one when the people are searching for another way to deal with this problem. So to some sense it is a great progress no matter whether or not it has a drawback that now the people can not see and the people will get good experiences for the further study. In short, this research is worth even the results may be controversial.要证明你的statement you should put your emphasis on the comparison between the advantages and disadvantages of research. Take your example to analyse, the advantages are transgene plant which boost the gross of foodstaff, and so on, yet the disadvantages are its latent damage toward ecology. you better focus on analysis of the advantage outweighing the disadvantage so as to support your statement

Admittedly, the research brings about some negative influence on the people’s lives. For example, the hundreds of thousands of innocent people arewere murdered and maimed by atomic blasts and by nuclear meltdowns with the advent of the modern weapons. However, it is not the faults of the research. The scientists are making the research only for the advancement of the technology yet some people have so strong ambition to get the maximum interests for their own sake with the consideration of the humanity and the protection of the environment so that they abuse the results of the research. This behavior can be controlled by the morality of humanity and the rules the behavior. The results of the research can not be contradicted by the wrong abuse and as long as the research is made reasonable use of, the people can get the benefit from it and make progress relying on it.

In sum, as long as we do the research for the good purpose and take correct advantage of the research. The research will enhance the standard of the living level and advance the development of the society. So money spent on the research is generally a good investment.
原来hatty也是学生物的。发现这个版学biology and biochemistry的人特别多。

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发表于 2004-9-7 15:36:52 |只看该作者
回楼上的两个:

照片里的当然不是我~~~只是自己喜欢而已

我的学生物的啊,版上好多人都是呢~~(兴奋ing~)

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RE: issue31 求砖 修改之后 希望大家来评 [修改]
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