issue 235, 恳请修改

lsnUID: 176887

Issue235  第21篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：0分12秒     422 words
从2004年8月24日12时8分到2004年8月24日12时0分
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Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty—whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution—is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force.
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Whether loyalty, a most common topic in our lives, is a positive or destructive force on the earth? In my opinion, this problem should be considered in its own terms. In most cases, it is really a virtue of human beings. However, it is not always appreciated without any conditions, when it comes to some extreme circumstances, it will become a destructive force.

The significant difference between human beings and other lower animals is that we have strong emotions and morals. Loyalty is one of most important virtue. The history is filled with moving stories of loyalty, whether to one's friends , to one's family, occupations or beliefs. In scientific field, Copernicus is not only famous for his great contribution to the astrology, but also respected for his fortitude in his theory, which is also the loyalty to the truth. In the long war-years of china's history, numerous of heroes preferred to sacrifice their lives rather to yield to the enemy because of their loyalty to their party and believes. We value this great virtue of loyalty, because it is not only benefit the individuals and the  country, but also create samples  that help to make a fine atmosphere and a good order of  the society.

However, loyalty can be appreciated only based on the right ideology and the justice institutions, or else it will turn out to be blind loyalty, and more one is loyal to the wrong things the more one will harm to the society. A case in point is the affair of the FaLun Gong, which referred a lot of loyal people. They are confused by the evil religion and make  some extreme activities for example suicide and protesting the government in a wrong way which caused disorder and terror of the society. Another example is the terror organization which commit a series of bleeding events. The blind loyalty leads to the inhumanity of the  terrorists. These loyalties bring great pain to people. Therefore we take our action of loyalty, we must inspect our object carefully and then to make our decisions.

To sum up, like a coin has its two sides ,almost every thing has its merit and flaws. We can not observe and evaluate it unilateral and make a hasty conclusion. Or, many things are neutral themselves, it is human ourselves endue them with good and bad. In this sense, we can not decide that whether loyalty is destructive or beneficial, what we can evaluate is the things we do with it is destructive or beneficial.

dapangduUID: 176130

1、第一段的position似乎有点不明确，而且有语法问题 。个人觉得不管自己的观点是赞成还是反对，以及中立都应该让读者明了的看到。但是本文中开始会让读者误以为要偏重于destructive
2、more one is loyal to the wrong things the more one will harm to the society. 这个应该是the more... ，the more ...的经典句型吧？
3、falungong在美国人眼里一定是邪教吗？我觉得针对这个情形可以举讲日本的邪教比较合适。

偶也是新手，自己水平有限。不过直截了当的说了自己的一家之言。不对的请大家指出。

lakeqianUID: 157560

太短