40岁被拒签，特发study plan 请各位指教，多谢

云之男UID??3940059

各位亲，我40岁，单身。前几天刚在北京被拒，匆忙又约了下周一，20号北京，感觉自己还是没有胸有成竹，特发study plan 请各位指教。我在考虑我是否需要推迟一下下一次的预约，是不是太匆忙了
Research Proposal/Study Plan

1) Research Area of Interest and Major：(please explain what your major is and what you plan to study)
My major is Language, Literacy, & Sociocultural Studies with M.A. concentration on Teaching English as a Second Language (TESOL)/Bilingual Education.

I plan to study at the University of AAA for 2 years. I believe with my English proficiency and 13 years’ teaching experience I am qualified for the requirements of the courses. I will pursue my further study on English Teaching both linguistically and culturally. The courses will also address the social, political, cultural and linguistic contexts that affect language minority students and English language learners, both in the U.S. and abroad, in their schools and communities. I have contacted my initial advisor AAAAA, knowing that they have extensive experience in teaching English internationally.

2) Advisor or Potential Advisor: (this means your research advisor not academic advisor)
AAAA (I only have an academic advisor, not a research advisor)

3) Is your program coursework only? If not, please tell us the name of your research project and give a basic description of your research.
   My program is coursework only, we are not asked to do original research.

4) Research Funding: (Where is the funding coming from?)
   There is no research funding; the program is a coursework only program.
            
5) Practical Application of Research:  
   
The program is a coursework only program. However, I will apply my coursework to my teaching in China in the following ways

1)How to teach English linguistically with effect in China, without the privilege of natural environment. I hope I can perform in-depth study into the successful methodologies, experiences, and theories of English teaching developed by the educationists of an English-speaking country.
2)How to deal with cultural problems in complex Chinese contexts. Language learning is definitely not isolated from culture. By study in XXX can I acquire enough knowledge of culture to be used in my future teaching in China.
3)How to motivate my students’ critical and innovative thoughts which are lacking in Chinese education. I hope I will be able to teach my students how to search out the truth and how to reason and draw their own conclusions rather than rote memory.
4)How to cope with the problems of gender inequality, sexual orientation, disabled students, etc (there are many disabled students in my college).

6) Why do I choose U.S.A and AAA?
I have visited many English-speaking countries and audited several universities, including Canada, the U.S.A., U.K, and some European countries. By comparing them, I found America is the most suitable country to my study, with the strongest educational resources, with my favorite and comfortable intonation and accent of English, which is quite distinct from British English. When I was in my university, 90 percent of my foreign teachers were American, I have been accustomed to American English and their teaching styles. My achievements today are inseparable from those American teachers.
  
I have browsed dozens of American universities’ websites, and was finally admitted by five universities, including the University of CCC, XXXXXXX, .

The reason I choose AAA is because I am very interested in their program Language, Literacy, and Sociocultural Studies in Education with concentration on TESOL, which combined cultural studies and TESOL together. Other universities’ programs are basically pure TESOL or foreign language education, which is very linguistically. English is a tool for communication, which can not be separated from cultural contexts. The ultimate goal of English Teaching should always be communicating with English-speakers rather than passing the examinations. I have contacted several professors in AAA, I am convinced that they provide both sociocultural and linguistic education.
  
The other reason for AAA is they have better diverse faculty and students, Dr.XXX told me I am the only Chinese in my program, while I was told by senior students in University of VVVVV, 90 percent of TESOL program students there are Chinese. For language learning, the more diverse the class is, the better.

7) Career Plan and Return to China

1)My graduate study at XXXwill make me better-qualified for my teaching position in China. I love teaching in this traditional Chinese medicine college. I get along well with my students and colleagues. The leaders in my college encourage us to study abroad and come back to make contributions to our college. I am confident I will make a difference. It will also be helpful to the promotion of my professional title. I am planning to apply Professor Title in less than five years.
[[[[[[2)The master degree from the U.S.A. is also very helpful to my part-time job as a tutor in some English training institutions, which are highly accredited with American education. They can recruit more students by presenting tutors’ American degree to the parents. I have also been teaching piano and painting to the kids in my spare time, which gives me a lot of income. For me, life here is very comfortable and enjoying. ]]]]]不知道这一段关于兼职工作的是否应该写
3)Of all the places I have visited around the world, I find that xxxx, the city where I live, suit me best. It is a seaside city with four distinct seasons.
4)My parents, sister and other relatives live nearby in XXXX province, my parents are around 70 years old and they need my care. I own my own apartment, and definitely plan on returning to fulfill my responsibility.

云之男UID??3940059

下面是我的简介，还有拒签经历。

各位朋友大家好，刚刚拖着累垮的身体回到家，今天上午在北京F1被拒，昨天坐了一天的火车去了北京，今天坐了一天的火车回来，一路上想想自己一年来的付出，数次的托福，GRE，浏览无数的学校，发了无数的邮件，成绩验证，邮寄资料，打了无数的国际长途，因为时差经常是半夜起来和美国老师沟通，最后被5所很好的大学录取，40岁了，单身男。这一步步走来真的太累了。感谢一路上无数年轻朋友的帮助，感谢。
说一说今天的遭遇，签证官是25岁左右的中国人脸孔的帅哥，我前面几个都过了，本来以为他会比较好过，问了我大学，然后program，然后问我去干什么，我的program是TESOL，英语教育，因为我在国内就是英语老师，我就说我像出去提高我的英语，因为英语学习还是需要在英语国家完成的最好。然后说我可以用这个学校服务于我的兼职工作，我在国内做教英语的兼职，这个学历有助于提高我的薪水，他好像惊讶的问了我一句“为了提高薪水”，我意识到他可能误会了，因为我是说提高我的兼职英语辅导班的薪水，我解释主要是提高我自己的英语，服务于我的教学。他接着问我多大了，我说40了，他就是开始邹眉头，不耐烦，态度也不是很好，咕哝着说，大体意思是，你在美国两年花这些钱不值得，没有什么用处。我要给他别的资料他也不要。接着就拒了。因为我的1-20上写的时间将近3年，我问过学校，都是这么写的，其实这个研究生项目是2年，签证官也问过我，我也做了解释。感觉好像觉得40岁不应该出来读书一样。

今年他没有看我的银行流水，我的银行流水也有个问题，就是近期有10几万的转账过来，请问大家这个该怎么解释呢？我想解释是我的兼职收入，一直在别的账户。

云之男UID??3940059

@gterlann 版主多谢您的帮助，我也问别的中介了，但是都感觉和你水平相差甚远，所以不想找中介。就相信您。

gterlannUID??3595027

1) Research Area of Interest and Major：(please explain what your major is and what you plan to study)
My major is Language, Literacy, & Sociocultural Studies with M.A. concentration on Teaching English as a Second Language (TESOL)/Bilingual Education.

I plan to study at the University of AAA for 2 years. I believe with my English proficiency and 13 years’ teaching experience I am qualified for the requirements of the courses. I will pursue my further study on English Teaching both linguistically and culturally. The courses will also address the social, political, cultural and linguistic contexts that affect language minority students and English language learners, both in the U.S. and abroad, in their schools and communities. I have contacted my initial advisor AAAAA, knowing that they have extensive experience in teaching English internationally.

问题回答太笼统, 一看就是从学校主页或者 wiki 之类的网站上面找的那种东西. 讲人话, 讲你自己的故事.

2) Advisor or Potential Advisor: (this means your research advisor not academic advisor)
AAAA (I only have an academic advisor, not a research advisor)

3) Is your program coursework only? If not, please tell us the name of your research project and give a basic description of your research.
   My program is coursework only, we are not asked to do original research.

4) Research Funding: (Where is the funding coming from?)
   There is no research funding; the program is a coursework only program.
            
5) Practical Application of Research:  
   
The program is a coursework only program. However, I will apply my coursework to my teaching in China in the following ways

1)How to teach English linguistically with effect in China, without the privilege of natural environment. I hope I can perform in-depth study into the successful methodologies, experiences, and theories of English teaching developed by the educationists of an English-speaking country.
2)How to deal with cultural problems in complex Chinese contexts. Language learning is definitely not isolated from culture. By study in XXX can I acquire enough knowledge of culture to be used in my future teaching in China.
3)How to motivate my students’ critical and innovative thoughts which are lacking in Chinese education. I hope I will be able to teach my students how to search out the truth and how to reason and draw their own conclusions rather than rote memory.
4)How to cope with the problems of gender inequality, sexual orientation, disabled students, etc (there are many disabled students in my college).

四点写的都还可以.
如果还要改进, 建议可以联系你的项目课程, 比如motivate critical and innovative thoughts, 在你要去学的哪个课程里面会有所体现?

6) Why do I choose U.S.A and AAA?
I have visited many English-speaking countries and audited several universities, including Canada, the U.S.A., U.K, and some European countries. By comparing them, I found America is the most suitable country to my study, with the strongest educational resources, with my favorite and comfortable intonation and accent of English, which is quite distinct from British English. When I was in my university, 90 percent of my foreign teachers were American, I have been accustomed to American English and their teaching styles. My achievements today are inseparable from those American teachers.
  
I have browsed dozens of American universities’ websites, and was finally admitted by five universities, including the University of CCC, XXXXXXX, .

The reason I choose AAA is because I am very interested in their program Language, Literacy, and Sociocultural Studies in Education with concentration on TESOL, which combined cultural studies and TESOL together. Other universities’ programs are basically pure TESOL or foreign language education, which is very linguistically. English is a tool for communication, which can not be separated from cultural contexts. The ultimate goal of English Teaching should always be communicating with English-speakers rather than passing the examinations. I have contacted several professors in AAA, I am convinced that they provide both sociocultural and linguistic education.
  
The other reason for AAA is they have better diverse faculty and students, Dr.XXX told me I am the only Chinese in my program, while I was told by senior students in University of VVVVV, 90 percent of TESOL program students there are Chinese. For language learning, the more diverse the class is, the better.

回答的不好, 说明你完全不懂签证的套路.
问你为什么美国, 为什么学校, 其实最后问的还是为什么学习这个项目. 这个是签证当中VO最常用的烟雾弹.
所以还是回到"留学必要性"和"回国规划"的问题上面.
而不是东拉西扯所谓的 accent, 看到的美国人更多之类的理由.
你是一个学生签证申请者, 解释学生签证的两大核心问题是始终的主题.

你这个回答太长了, 不太可能有时间说完, 而且你作为一个英语教学者, 应该知道英语思维强调金字塔结构: 重点的观点先说;
你第二段才开始说跟学习稍微有点关系的内容, 就算 VO 有耐心听到这里, 注意力也早就已经涣散了.
另外这一段缺少回国规划! 一点学习本身对于你未来回国的计划的帮助都没有.

7) Career Plan and Return to China

1)My graduate study at XXXwill make me better-qualified for my teaching position in China. I love teaching in this traditional Chinese medicine college. I get along well with my students and colleagues. The leaders in my college encourage us to study abroad and come back to make contributions to our college. I am confident I will make a difference. It will also be helpful to the promotion of my professional title. I am planning to apply Professor Title in less than five years.

为什么出国留学对于申请教授职称有帮助? 这个信息缺失
另外一个硕士学位能够满足国内教授职称申请吗? 我怎么有点不信? VO 可不是傻子, 我建议你确认一下

[[[[[[2)The master degree from the U.S.A. is also very helpful to my part-time job as a tutor in some English training institutions, which are highly accredited with American education. They can recruit more students by presenting tutors’ American degree to the parents. I have also been teaching piano and painting to the kids in my spare time, which gives me a lot of income. For me, life here is very comfortable and enjoying. ]]]]]不知道这一段关于兼职工作的是否应该写

听完就一个感觉, 松散, irrelevant.
无从教起, 还是自己多去理解一下签证的基本功, 不要说什么喜欢去培训机构教书教钢琴, 这些跟"回国规划"显得完全没有联系. 你的表达需要改进.

3)Of all the places I have visited around the world, I find that xxxx, the city where I live, suit me best. It is a seaside city with four distinct seasons.

就因为这点原因你就选好了自己的埋骨地了? 你当 VO 是哈的嘛

4)My parents, sister and other relatives live nearby in XXXX province, my parents are around 70 years old and they need my care. I own my own apartment, and definitely plan on returning to fulfill my responsibility.

之前的拒签经历已经说过无数遍了, 你作为一个40岁的男人, 出国学英语, 留学必要性是最大的硬伤, 这个只能靠你自己去准备.

不知道你现在主要重心是在你那个任教的大学, 还是类似新东方那种的培训机构里面.
如果我是你, 我会把后者作为主要的牌来打, 因为你一个硕士学位而已, 说实话对于你当正规大学的 faculty 估计帮助也不会很大, 而且培训机构本来收入就多一些.

留学必要性可以建立在"外来的和尚会念经"这个基础上面.
现在很多人托福考个一百来分就可以去培训机构当老师了, 那么怎样在这样低门槛的行业里面脱颖而出, 是所有从业者需要思考的难题.
一个思路就是, 有洋学历的老师, 会更加有分量: 可以有一定的统计结果来证明, 比如机构内部, 那些真的海归的, 确实最后级别都比土著高一些.
当然, 这个讲的时候要委婉一些, 不能就很傻白甜地直接说, 钱多.
可以rephrase 成: stand out in peer competition之类的, 政治正确之类一点的说法, 不提钱.
当然, 还是要跟学校结合起来, 你下一步说:
为什么这些海归更加容易晋升呢? 我认为不是因为学历本身, 而是因为他们确实作为与真正的native speaker有过reallife-based的交流之后, 对于英语这门语言以及背后的文化, 有着不一样的了解.
根据这条思路, 我不仅要去美国留学, 获得这个exposure to cultural orientation, 而且我还要学习专业的英语教学理论.

最后一个总结: 我知道我这个年纪出去读书代价很大, 但是我最大的问题在于, 我现在已经40岁, 所以我肯定不会选择去做其他的行业.
那么在我这个行业, 最大的特点是准入门槛太低, 所以竞争激烈.
但是正因为如此, 留学读书对我是收益最高的一个办法: 因为行业从业人员平均水平低, 两年的硕士学习, 我有把握甩开大量的 peer, 这是最直接的突围办法.

这样一个故事, 就整体做到了把40岁的年龄短板问题, 转化成了一个自证的优势.

具体稿子撰写, 就是你自己的事情了.
我还是那句话, 不是你自己动脑子想出来的东西, 教了你也没用.

云之男UID??3940059

gterlann 发表于 2019-5-15 11:35
问题回答太笼统, 一看就是从学校主页或者 wiki 之类的网站上面找的那种东西. 讲人话, 讲你自己的故事.
...

非常感谢您