Issue197--请拍砖，马上就要考了，以后一定回报大家，谢谢

RikkuUID: 170558

Issue197  第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：0分12秒     549 words
从2004年9月20日22时31分到2004年9月20日22时0分
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The material progress and well-being of one country are necessarily connected to the material progress and well-being of all other countries.
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As the connection among all countries of the world becomes closer and closer, every nation plays a vital role in the world. So I agree with the statement above. I will show several evidences to support my standpoint.

In the term of economy, different countries of the world are connected by the common market and the same financial system. Every behavior of a country may influence the whole economy of the world. Southeast Asian financial crisis, for example, was entire a disaster for the whole Asia, especially in the southeast Asia, where thousands of people have loss their jobs and had a hard lives. A direct influence was that the stock market of such countries or regions as Korea, HongKong and so on have almost collapsed. The economy of these countries have suffered from a great shock, which leaded to the decreasing rate of economy all over the world, because all of their trading partners have been impacted more or less. Thus, those countries which rely on either export or import have great deal to do with others. For instance, Coca Cola, a famous international corporation in U.S.A, has its products spread all over the world. It's profits can be influenced by any nation which sells its products. The same is to other international companies in U.S.A. In contrast, most of American's petroleum come from west Asia. Once there breaks out a large scale war, the whole economy of U.S.A will have a trouble. All of these indicate how necessary it is for a country that other nations are well-being.

On the problem of environment, all countries are facing the same plight--deterioration of the environment. Take the El Nino for example, since deforestation or pollution in some countries, the temperature all over the world have been increasing all the time during last few years, which resulted in many natural disasters such as the thaw of bergs, the increase of the sea level, hurricanes and so on. All of these bring a lot of suffers to human beings--some cities where many people depend on to live have been overwhelmed, many houses have been destroyed by hurricanes. The environment problem requires solutions as soon as possible through efforts of the whole global.

When it comes to the problem of war, it is also a persistent problem which calls for an approach to solve. It is impossible for countries between which there exists conflicts and wars to develop. Even the neighboring countries have difficulty in developing because of the international instability. The people in a war is the most unfortunate ones who have on home, no food, even do not know how long he can live. Many of these people choose to leave their nation and escape to neighboring countries. This will hamper the development  of it in many aspects such as the social instability, economy, even religion problem which is the most dangerous one.

To sum up, from what we have been discussed above, the assurance for a country to be well-being for a long run depends on the well-being of all other countries. The developed countries will be the leaders and should help the developing and undeveloped countries. This will also be good to themselves and the whole world.

slsUID: 175311

The material progress and well-being of one country are necessarily connected to the material progress and well-being of all other countries.
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As the connection among all all去掉countries of the world becomes closer and closer, every nation plays a vital role in the world.这里的叙述可以再详细些，应该在开头可以出彩 So I agree with the statement above. I will show several evidences to support my standpoint.I agree with the author’s statement based on the following evidences .反正我是觉得你最后两句话可以合成一个复杂句。或使用语气强烈点。

In the termterms of economy, different countries of the world are connected by the common market and the same financial system.这里你说联系可以用个bridge什么的比喻 Every behavior behaviors ?不好of a country may influence the whole economy of the world. Southeast Asian financial crisis 说出具体时间，可能好点, for example, was entire a disaster for the whole Asia, especially in the southeast Asia, where thousands of people have loss their jobs and had a hard lives. A direct influence was that the stock market of such countries or regions as Korea, HongKong and so on have almost collapsed. The economy of these countries have suffered from a great shock, which leaded to the decreasing rate of economy all over the world, because all of their trading partners have been impacted more or less. Thus, those countries which rely on either export or importexports and imports have great deal to do with others.For instance, Coca Cola, a famous international corporation in U.S.A, has its products spread all over the world. It's profits can be influenced by any nation which sells its products. The same is to other international companies in U.S.A. In contrast, most of American's petroleum come from west Asia. Once there breaks out a large scale war, the whole economy of U.S.A will have a trouble. All of these indicate how necessary it is for a country that other nations are well-being. 你怎么是例中有例哟 ，改下呢

On the problem of environment, all countries are facing the same plight--deterioration of the environment. Take the El Nino作文中的任何简写要写全把 ，不清楚 for example, since deforestation or pollution in some countries, the temperature all over the world have been increasing all the time during last few years,some countries 引起 the world ? 总觉得不好 which resulted in many natural disasters such as the thaw of bergs, the increase of the sea level, hurricanes and so on.hurricanes 是自然的把，和pollution等的联系不紧 All of these bring a lot of suffers to human beings--some cities where many people depend on to live have been overwhelmed 改为 are thronged with too many people ？ many houses不好 have been destroyed by hurricanes. The environment problem requires solutions as soon as possible through efforts of the whole global.破折号后面 和pollution的联系？？？

When it comes to the problem of war, it is also a persistent problem which calls for an approach to solve. It is impossible for countries between which there exists conflicts and wars to develop这句话好别捏. Even the neighboring countries have difficulty in developing because of the international instability. The people in a war is the most unfortunate ones who have onno home, no food, even do not know how long he can live还可以活多久？ 中式英语. Many of these people choose to leave their nation and escape to neighboring countries. This will hamper the development of it in many aspects such as the social instability, economy, even religion problem which is the most dangerous one.

To sum up, from what we have been discussed above, the assurance for a country to be well-being for a long run depends on the well-being of all other countries. The developed countries will be the leaders and should help the developing and undeveloped countries. This will also be good to themselves and the whole world.

总体感觉不好的，举例子又没分析到点子上，读起来好郁闷～～～～句子中的用词不好，句式很是单一，本来有很多把句子变精练变生动的机会都错过了～～～可惜，建议――不好意思――重写把。虽然我也经常重写，哈哈

RikkuUID: 170558

恩，明天再写一遍