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Issue177 第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间:45分5秒 489 words
从2004年11月4日12时4分到2004年11月4日12时45分
------题目------
The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.
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I totally agree with the speaker that academic disciplines alter the way we understand the world around-- physical and social world. To retrospect the process of learning could help us come to appreciate this significant change.
The process of learning, generally speaking, is [前面总觉得有些别扭,写成Learning is a process……如何?] from the basic level to the advanced; from concrete to abstract; and from fragmental to systematic. Consider changes we made from experience to knowledge. Experience, which I mean direct observation, provides us immediate perception of physical facts and phenomenon. It is through experience [^that!] we come to get primary information about truths[->the truth]. For instance, we easily figure out that mud is solid, water is fluid, and the air is gaseous- basic states of matters. Admittedly, experience is a way we see the world, but when we progress into interpretation of experience, the acquisition of knowledge happens, which reflects deeper comprehension towards matters as they exist. Talking about states of matters mentioned above, it is in our chemistry discipline, we were [这个句子有毛病,两个谓语!] guided to make clear that the physical existence of almost all substances could have three forms- solid, fluid and gas; and further, we generalized that under certain conditions, transformation from one state to another could take place. This is a leap of our perception toward the physical world, where difference[->differences] happen, from basic information to intellectual cognition.
[举的例子被分成两半,有些零碎。把分析放在前面,然后在后面举那个例子,最后再总结怎么样?]
If we move further in academic realm, changes continue[为何不说的再清楚一点?主题句最好不要模棱两可。]. And in most cases, these changes manifest greater values. Through academic discipline, knowledge we have gained transfers into theory, which reflects a higher level of cognition and reveal[单复!] the general laws in the fields it fits, and thus has potential application. Think about the example of chemistry discipline once more. Water can be changed into ice, and carbon dioxide could be transformed from gas to solid. Yet, these relatively solitude knowledge seems to have limited values until we relate them, interpret them, and finally come to a general law—physical state have[单复!] changed, but the real substance remained[时态!]. Subsequently, a fundamental theory in Chemistry is figured out, that is, without chemistry reaction, there is no substantial change in matters and this kind of change is called "physical change". Now, we have experienced again an elevation in our comprehension towards the nature of matters. Put it this way, education facilitate [单复!] our understanding from superficial to substantial.
[各段段首加些连接词是不是更好?]The process of changing could similarly be extended to social science study[前面并未点明讨论的不是social science,这里又单独讨论social science,而且用similarly,不妥]. A student major in psychology is more likely to acquire useful information from people's words and behaviors [^so] as to make judgment of one's personality or something relevant. Also, a student earnestly pursuing cultural research no longer see [单复数,能记着吗?] our customs and traditions as they actually are, but get down to quest the cultural distinctiveness or analyze underlying reasons that how we embrace this cultural identity. Again, a student interested in history tends to explain certain social events with historical perspectives and reasonably makes a vision about the future. In a word, learning is a process in which we change in our awareness, in perspectives and ultimately in our values system.
Conclusively, an educated person should be the one with enriched mind and distinct perspectives, which significantly distinguish him or her from an innocent child he or she used to be.[这个结论离题目和TS也有点远了吧?不要随意联想和扩展] |
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