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[i习作temp] issue115 感冒中,流着鼻涕写完的,请多指教! [复制链接]

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发表于 2004-12-26 13:27:53 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue115
"It is through the use of logic and of precise, careful measurement that we become aware of our progress. Without such tools, we have no reference points to indicate how far we have advanced or retreated."
(490)

People tend to search for logical or precise measurements as reference points to evaluate how far a field has advanced or retreated, but not all areas of our social life can be measured, or in other word, not every aspect can find measurements as reference.

First, let's take a look at politics, which is a complicated area interacting with almost all other social aspects. How many people can take part in political activities and how much power they have to affect or control the activity can be viewed as logical or precise measurements to evaluate the process of democracy. Crime rate, rate of unemployed, average income of a common family, etc. can be used to measure government efficiency and political feats. We dependent upon these tools to measure the development of politics.

Second, the same things happened in the field of economics, the measurements of which are most obvious and understandable. Gross production and production per day are well used to measure efficiency of industries. The fluctuations of currency rate between different countries and the up and downs of stock market are sensible reflections of economic environment. GDP are widely accepted as a measurement of a country's economical development. Even prices of daily-used products reflect local people's economical situation and state. Economists discover or invent uncountable other formula and relationships to define the development of economy.

Third, when it comes to the realm of arts, things are quite different. It is hard or to say it frankly, it is impossible to find any measurements as reference points. As we all know, there is no unified standard to define what is beauty----the basic concept of arts----no need to say other elements, the standard of value is undefined as well, in fact, the variety and lack of stability is the shape characteristic and charm of arts. No one would wonder whether rock music is more advanced or retreated than pop, because no standard to reference between the two, even the idea of comparing the two seems useless and out of practice. In this sense, no one would bother to seek any measurement or have the feeling of incompletion without them.

Last, in research and education, another important area of social life, logical and precise measurements can be found and used to evaluate the development as the case in politics and economics. Solving the scientific problems, overcoming research difficulties, inventing new apparatus, proposing new theories, etc. are logical measurements in research field. Population of capable highly-educated graduates and average grade of students are used to evaluate educational level. These measurements are indispensable tools in the process of evaluation.

To sum up, logic, precise or careful measurements are widely accepted and used in areas that can be measure in someway or the fruits of development can be converted into measurable things, these tools seldom exist in the area consists of abstract and incorporated things that hardly can be measured in concrete ways.

天儿冷了,大家都注意保暖,窝里多垫点草,别感冒了,像我这样就惨了,这会儿鼻子已经惨不忍睹了,555。。。
信仰,是人们必需的,什么都不信的人不会有幸福。
——雨果
我的信仰是offer会来的。。。
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沙发
发表于 2004-12-26 21:20:57 |只看该作者
good

~~

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板凳
发表于 2004-12-27 10:25:40 |只看该作者
文章整体写得不错,表达丰富;按社会生活的领域不同进行分类,也扣住了题目中的“advanced or retreated”
不过,既然Body4和Body1、2论述的观点一致,为何不把body3放到最后,而要插入其中呢?
另外,有几个语法和句式错误:
1、We dependent upon these tools to measure the development of politics.
2、It is hard or to say it frankly, it is impossible to find any measurements as reference points.
3、末段,你看看是什么问题吧

天冷防寒,抓紧把感冒好了:)
I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky!

坚强 是无论面前是高山还是海洋
都能始终执着的去追求心中的梦想~~~~~~

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地板
发表于 2004-12-28 07:42:38 |只看该作者
Issue115
"It is through the use of logic and of precise, careful measurement that we become aware of our progress. Without such tools, we have no reference points to indicate how far we have advanced or retreated."
(490)

D=delete,  C=comment, A=add, R=replace

People tend to search for logical or precise measurements as reference points(delete) to evaluate how far a field has advanced or retreated, but not all areas of our social life can be measured, or in other word(words), not every aspect can find measurements as reference(delete).

First, let's take a look at politics, which is a complicated area interacting with almost all (A: the) other social aspects. How many people can take part in political activities and how much power they have to affect or control the activity can be viewed as logical or precise measurements to evaluate the process(do you mean “progress”?) of democracy. Crime rate, rate of unemployed, average income of a common family, etc. can be used to measure government efficiency and political feats. We dependent(depend) upon these tools to measure the development of politics.
(what is the main idea of this paragraph, are you trying to figure out what measurement tool we can rely on in politics? If you are, why not clarify in the very beginning of the paragraph?)

Second(D), the same things(D) happened in the field of(D) economics, the measurements(R: measurement) of which are most obvious and understandable. Gross production and production per day are well used(R: established) to measure (A: the) efficiency of industries(R: industry). The fluctuations of currency rate between different countries and the up and downs of stock market are sensible reflections of economic environment. GDP are widely accepted as a measurement(R: mark) of a country's economical development. Even prices of daily-used products(R: daily articles) reflect local people's (R: the) economical situation and state (A: of citizens). Economists discover or invent (R: have invented) uncountable other(D) formula and relationships(D) to define(depict) the development of economy.

(C: Obviously you want to continue your idea of the capability of depicting some kind of progress, which means, this is not the 2nd idea. What is worse, it doesn’t further your idea, I mean, to some degree, this paragraph is unnecessary, in my opinion.)

Third, when it comes to the realm of arts, things are quite different. (R: Things are quite different when it comes to the realm of arts.)(C: You are thinking in the Chinese order) It is hard or(D) to say it frankly, it is impossible to find any measurements as reference points(D). As we all know, there is no unified standard to define what is(R: definition for) beauty, (A: which is) the basic concept of arts----no need to say other elements(D, C: hehe, standard Chinese), the standard of value is undefined as well,(R: .) in(R: In) fact, the variety and lack of stability is the shape characteristic(C: I don’t know what is that, maybe that’s due to my ignorance) and charm of arts. No one would wonder whether rock music is more advanced or retreated(R: superior or inferior) than pop, because no standard to reference between the two, even the idea of comparing the two seems useless and out of practice.(D) In this sense, no one would bother to seek any measurement or have the feeling of incompletion without them(D).

(C: It is fairly a good idea to use the arts as the example to show the difficulty of measuring. But due to the expression difficulty of you, the idea here is not shown well enough)

Last(D), in research and education, another important area of social life, logical and precise measurements can be found and used to evaluate the development as the case in politics and economics. Solving the scientific problems, overcoming research difficulties, inventing new apparatus, proposing new theories, etc. are logical measurements in research field. Population of capable highly-educated graduates and average grade of students are used to evaluate educational level(R: their quality. C: Hey, guy, you need to read more. Here is another standard Chinese). These measurements are indispensable tools(D) in the process of evaluation.
(It is weird to have this paragraph. Tell me what the hell your line for this text is!!!)

To sum up, logic, precise or careful measurements are widely accepted and used in areas that can be measure in someway or the fruits(R: outcome) of development can be converted into measurable things, these tools seldom exist in the area consists of abstract and incorporated things that hardly can be measured in concrete ways.

(C: don’t use the Chinese translation a lot!! Remember, some English expression actually doesn’t have any related Chinese counterpart. The only solution to this is more reading and practice.)
我是一只青蛙,主要由圆形构成。

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发表于 2004-12-28 08:26:14 |只看该作者
楼上的是强人,也是好心人,赞一个
look at the stars, look how they shine for you

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发表于 2004-12-30 23:07:05 |只看该作者

谢谢大家!都是好人!

感冒刚好,没能及时回复,谢谢大家啦!//bow:)
这两天练习追星剑第二部分教育类,只写了两篇,等下发上来。
谢谢大家花时间给我改,特别感谢dezhi和glassfrog,谢谢你们的意见,现在干劲更足了!
我是在职,学习时间不多,迄今为止只帮人改过一篇,对不起xdjm们,我会加油的!GTer互相帮助!
Many thanks!都是好人:)
信仰,是人们必需的,什么都不信的人不会有幸福。
——雨果
我的信仰是offer会来的。。。

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RE: issue115 感冒中,流着鼻涕写完的,请多指教! [修改]
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