ARGUMENT24 元旦快乐！请大虾们指教！

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

The arguer concludes that we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant in Grandview to reduce costs. However, the argument suffers form several flaws, which render it unpersuasive. First, is it necessary to build a central plant? In addition, would Grandview be an ideal location for the new plant? I will discuss each of these two flaws in turn.

First of all, is it necessary to build a central plant? The arguer claims so. However, the arguer fails to provide any information about the existing small assembly plants. Do they not satisfy present requirements any longer? Is it true that the production cost is higher in small assembly plants than in large central plants? And how about the cost to build a large central plant? It is entirely possible that the cost is so large that it would cause Viva-Tech in serious financial trouble. Absent such evidence, the recommendation that we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant seems to be groundless and too hasty.

Moreover, even if Viva-Tech indeed needs to build a new plant, would Grandview be an ideal location for the new plant? The arguer cited three facts to support his or her conclusion, however, a careful scrutiny reveals that they are quite open to doubt. First, the arguer points out that the largest adult population in Grandview will be able to make it quickly and easily to staff our plant. But, this is no necessary relationship between large adult population and easily and quickly staffing. How many these adults are out of work or at least willing to change their work? The arguer unfairly assumes that the jobs offered by Viva-Tech have enough attraction. Even assuming they are willing working for Viva-Tech, whether these adults have the skills required by Viva-Tech. Anyway, we are not informed whether this is the case.

Second, the arguer cited the fact that the production costs could be kept low, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than in the other locations. Common sense tells us that the wage of employee is only one of the factors, which consist the production costs. How about the price of the materials-both for manufacturing and for building plants-in Grandview? The transportation fee? And the charges for water and electricity? If the investment in these or other aspects is higher than that of other locations, how can we simply conclude that the production costs are low in Grandview?

Finally, the arguer assumes without warrant that other cities do not offer the similar measures to Grandview-that is, to allow Viva-Tech to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes. Even assuming the inducement is only offered by Grandview, what the city taxes would be after three years? If the city taxes in Grandview are far higher than other cities, it is also unreasonable, considering the long-term profits, to choose Grandview to build the new plant.  Without recognize and rule out all these possibilities, we cannot be convinced that Grandview is the ideal location for the new plant.

To sum up, the argument lacks reliability because the evidence cited could not strongly support the arguer's conclusion. Before any final decisions are made, the speaker should consider carefully. Otherwise the recommendation would come with not the low cost but great economic loss for Viva-Tech.

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

自我感觉还可以哦！给点建议，是不是自我感觉良好呀？

flyingwindUID: 189320

怎么不把题目贴上来啊
总的感觉不错，逻辑比较清楚，几个小的语法错误，继续加油
The arguer concludes that we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant in Grandview to reduce costs. However, the argument suffers form several flaws, which render it unpersuasive. First, is it necessary to build a central plant? In addition, would Grandview be an ideal location for the new plant? I will discuss each of these two flaws in turn.

First of all, is it necessary to build a central plant? The arguer claims so. However, the arguer fails to provide any information about the existing small assembly plants. Do they not Don't theysatisfy present requirements any longer? Is it true that the production cost is higher in small assembly plants than in large central plants? And how about the cost to build a large central plant? It is entirely possible that the cost is so large that it would cause Viva-Tech in serious financial trouble. Absentfrom such evidence, the recommendation that we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant seems to be groundless and too hasty.

Moreover, even if Viva-Tech indeed needs to build a new plant, would Grandview be an ideal location for the new plant? The arguer cited three facts to support his or her conclusion, however, a careful scrutiny reveals that they are quite open to doubt. First, the arguer points out that the largest adult population in Grandview will be able to make it quickly? and easily? to staff our plant. But, thisthere is no necessary relationship between large adult population and easily and quicklyadv?? staffing. How many these adults are out of work or at least，？没开由 willing to change their work? The arguer unfairly assumes that the jobs offered by Viva-Tech have enough attraction. Even assuming they are willing working for Viva-Tech, whether these adults have the skills required by Viva-Tech. Anyway, we are not informed whether this is the case. 最后一句加一个：多不一定好，劳动力素质可能很低，不足以满足生产的要求。如果公司要培训，或是需要从其他地方雇人，无疑是增加了成本

Second, the arguer cited the fact that the production costs could be kept low, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than in the other locations. Common sense tells us that the wage of employee is only one of the factors, which consist the production costs. How about the price of the materials-both for manufacturing and for building plants-in Grandview? The transportation fee? And the charges for water and electricity? 这几个问句列举的比较充分If the investment in these or other aspects is higher than that of other locations, how can we simply conclude that the production costs are low in Grandview?

Finally, the arguer assumes without warrant that other cities do not offer the similar measures to Grandview-that is, to allow Viva-Tech to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes.也许条件更优惠，或者减少tax更多年 Even assuming the inducement is only offered by Grandview, what the city taxes would be after three years? If the city taxes in Grandview are far higher than other cities, it is also unreasonable, considering the long-term profits, to choose Grandview to build the new plant. Without recognizerecognizing and ruleruling out all these possibilities, we cannot be convinced that Grandview is the ideal location for the new plant.

To sum up, the argument lacks reliability because the evidence cited could not strongly support the arguer's conclusion. Before any final decisions are made, the speaker should consider宾语呢 carefully. Otherwise the recommendation would come with not？ the low cost but great economic loss for Viva-Tech.

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

非常感谢flyingwind！我自己也觉得每段段尾的总结句有点罗嗦，有凑字之嫌，以后一定注意。
抱歉，竟然忘了题目，再发一下吧。
-------Argument24 题目-------
The following appeared in a memo from the president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech medical equipment.
In order to reduce costs, we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant.Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. First, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since th e average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations, we should be able to keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes.
为节约成本，我们应该关闭一些现有的小型组装车间而建设一个大型核心厂房Grandview可能是这个新厂房建设的理想位置。首先，在我们所考虑过的地区中，Grandview拥有最大的成年人口，因此我们可以很快很轻易的招收到工作人员。其次，由于Grandview工人的平均收入比其他地区低，我们能够把生产成本压低。最后，我们在那里建厂的诱因这一就是Grandview的市委允许我们运营的头三年可以免付城市税。

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

非常感谢flyingwind！我自己也觉得每段段尾的总结句有点罗嗦，有凑字之嫌，以后一定注意。
抱歉，竟然忘了题目，再发一下吧。

-------Argument24 题目-------
The following appeared in a memo from the president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech medical equipment.
In order to reduce costs, we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant.Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. First, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since th e average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations, we should be able to keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes.
为节约成本，我们应该关闭一些现有的小型组装车间而建设一个大型核心厂房Grandview可能是这个新厂房建设的理想位置。首先，在我们所考虑过的地区中，Grandview拥有最大的成年人口，因此我们可以很快很轻易的招收到工作人员。其次，由于Grandview工人的平均收入比其他地区低，我们能够把生产成本压低。最后，我们在那里建厂的诱因这一就是Grandview的市委允许我们运营的头三年可以免付城市税。

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

ZHGsunny的文章写的很好，flyingwind改的也很到位，我就鸡蛋里掏骨头吧！
1.既然开头已经是问题方式展开，TS1就该换换表达方式吧
2.用了几个cost，注意同意替换
写得很好，赞

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

谢谢coolblazeverest的宝贵意见！