Issue12 第5篇 重写不限时，并附详细思考过程

glassfrogUID: 170569

Issue12 第5篇 重写不限时！
------题目------
People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic.

------提纲-------
viewpoint:
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Questions:
(inspired by https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=130665)

What is people’s attitudes? What do you mean by “determined”? What is the content of “immediate situation or surroundings”? Is it objective or subjective? What is the internal characteristic? How is it generated? Why the word “immediate” is used here?

How are one’s internal characteristics, surroundings and attitudes changes? Will the internal characteristics the same as you have now after 5 years? Why? Can you control it? How? Can you affect others? Why? How?

Are there any other ingredients for doing things? What are they? Comparing to them, what is the importance of internal characteristic, attitude, and surroundings?

How do attitudes affect the results? What do we mean by a good attitude? Why? How to get a good attitude?

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Brain storming as the answers

Attitude: a : a mental position with regard to a fact or state b : a feeling or emotion toward a fact or state(from MW)
In short, I can say it is just mental position, like high and low, physically speaking.

Determine here means influence. The point is: which influence more on the mental position.

Immediate situation and surroundings: it includes the entire goings around you. Like the money you have, the GPA you get, the health of your body, the problem you face, etc. Although they are objective, no one can observe them without any attitude.

Internal characteristic: It can only be shown indirectly from the deeds of a man. It is changing all along the life time, modified by the men you met, people you love, affair you confront, problem you face, etc.

The word “immediate” is used since the attitude could deeply determine the doings, then doings lead to the result you wish or don’t wish. The doings indeed has changed the situation, in return the situation influence the attitude.

It is hard to say which determines the attitude. Since different men could hold different attitude towards the same surroundings, while the same guy could hold different opinions towards different situations.

One’s internal characteristic changes by learning from the experience of his own. Attitude changes from one person to another, from young to old, from one situation to another. The surroundings can be changed by everyone of us, by the nature of the world, by the doings of human. One can only change part of it.

For internal characteristics, we can control to some degree. Self-discipline is the word for these activities. Attitudes the same. We can influence that of others too, as we are actually kind of surroundings to others, especially when we are parents.

Other ingredients for doing things: methods we use, and opportunities. It includes the arrangement of resources, strategy we take, schedule we have, technology we apply. It is actually the choice based on the surroundings. The attitude guide us to the choice.

A good attitude is the one that can lead to a good result. One can force himself to be highly hardworking because he hate it or can’t wait to work hard because he like it.





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Thesis
Following https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=173331

Thesis 1
Both the immediate situations or surroundings and the internal characteristics determine the attitudes.

Thesis 2
The internal characteristic is quite abstract, which can only be shown indirectly from the attitudes.

Thesis 3
The surroundings and attitudes are interactive.

Thesis 4
How to have a good attitude? Basically it is just the matter of choice.



------正文------
The attitude is generally defined as the mental position with regard to a fact or state. Both the immediate situation and internal characteristic play a significant role in determining the attitude. You can say surroundings are important since I will feel pleasant in Seattle, which is called the Emerald City, but nervous in Los Angeles, where crowds of people create noisy sound and traffic jam. The equal importance of internal characteristic can be seen by another friend of mine who prefer to live in Los Angeles because it rains nine months a year in Seattle.
(初步说明我的观点)

The internal characteristic is quite abstract, which can only be shown indirectly from the attitudes. It is like a computer system. The attitude could be considered as the output, the internal characteristic as the calculation capability, and the surroundings as the input. The calculation capability can only be justified by carrying out some complex working, that is, input some initial data. That is how we know Pentium 4 can run above 2 GHz. In the same way, we can see one’s internal characteristic by observing his performance in specific surroundings.

Attitude is not everything. To achieve our goal, we still need suitable methods as well as opportunities. It is not necessary for a diligent man to be a successful man even if his attitude is so optimistic to be energetic and earnest for painstaking efforts. How can one imagine a country to become rich by cutting down all its forests? When all the woods are gone, the country would be poor again. Opportunities are suitable immediate situations or surroundings. Well, the phrase “immediate situations or surroundings” are quite objective words, but the word “suitable” are subjective. The opportunities can only be found through judgments. When the gold rush is booming in 1860s, the opportunity of gold is actually not so realistic since there isn’t so much gold. But while it was not suitable to be another gold-rusher, it was quite suitable to be a shovel retailer, which was discovered by a businessman at that time, who thus earned much more than those rushers. So the different consequences between the rushers and that man are due to the different method they took.

The surroundings and attitudes are interactive. While attitudes affect the deeds of man, thus influence the surroundings, the surroundings in return shape the attitudes and the internal characteristics. The education is the set of surroundings in school. It carves our manners ever since we have got involved in. And education could be broadly defined as all the process in which we learn the experiences and knowledge so that the education is everywhere. We learn to work harder when we fail in the final, to use microwave oven by reading the instruction, to keep patient when we broke the dishes because of our impatience, and to be precise when we are working on a math problem.

It is remarkable to notice that we are surroundings to others too. The world could be a better place by bettering our own attitudes even a little. As to how to get a good attitude, in my opinion, it is just the matter of choice. When something bad happens, you can choose to be gloomy and let it go from bad to worse, or be satisfied with what you have learned. Get busy living, or get busy dying. The choice defines the attitude.

In a word, both the surroundings and the internal characteristic determine the attitudes. And attitudes could influence the deeds thus affect the consequences. The changed surroundings then in return shape attitudes and internal characteristics.

imongUID: 140258

The attitude is generally defined as the mental position with regard to a fact or state. Both the immediate situation and internal characteristic play a significant role in determining the attitude. You can say （这里的句子语气和用词上有些过于随意了）surroundings are important since I will feel pleasant in Seattle, which is called the Emerald City, but nervous in Los Angeles, where crowds of people create noisy sound and traffic jam. The equal importance of internal characteristic can be seen by another friend of mine who prefer to live in Los Angeles because it rains nine months a year in Seattle.
(初步说明我的观点)

The internal characteristic is quite abstract, which can only be shown indirectly from the attitudes.（这一句话看得不是太懂） It is like a computer system. The attitude could be considered as the output, the internal characteristic as the calculation capability, and the surroundings as the input. The calculation capability can only be justified by carrying out some complex working, that is, input some initial data. That is how we know Pentium 4 can run above 2 GHz. In the same way, we can see one’s internal characteristic by observing his performance in specific surroundings.（能看出来 似乎要传达的意思是 input 和 自身因素 协同 最终产生out put 而谁是制约/控制条件 就是有所取决了。不过表达上 The attitude could be considered...这一句 能看得比较明白 而其他的就比较puzzling. 如果这的确是你的意思 那么在文字上应该润色的清晰些。）

Attitude is not everything. To achieve our goal, we still need suitable methods as well as opportunities. It is not necessary for a diligent man to be a successful man even if his attitude is so optimistic to be energetic and earnest for painstaking efforts. How can one imagine a country to become rich by cutting down all its forests? When all the woods are gone, the country would be poor again. Opportunities are suitable immediate situations or surroundings. Well, the phrase “immediate situations or surroundings” are quite objective words, but the word “suitable” are subjective. The opportunities can only be found through judgments. When the gold rush is booming in 1860s, the opportunity of gold is actually not so realistic since there isn’t so much gold. But while it was not suitable to be another gold-rusher, it was quite suitable to be a shovel retailer, which was discovered by a businessman at that time, who thus earned much more than those rushers. So the different consequences between the rushers and that man are due to the different method they took.（没看懂在说什么 基本上判定为跑题。讨论的是which influence more，而不是Attitude is not everything，opportunity should be taken into account，然后再来个opportunity = immediate situation，全乱套了。影响attitude的因素怎么跑到和attutide平行的等级去了）

The surroundings and attitudes are interactive.（which --surrounding / internal characteristics -- influence more？） While attitudes affect the deeds of man, thus influence the surroundings, the surroundings in return shape the attitudes and the internal characteristics. The education is the set of surroundings in school. It carves our manners ever since we have got involved in. And education could be broadly defined as all the process in which we learn the experiences and knowledge so that the education is everywhere. We learn to work harder when we fail in the final, to use microwave oven by reading the instruction, to keep patient when we broke the dishes because of our impatience, and to be precise when we are working on a math problem. （继续跑题 扯到education就开始说education吗？跟education有关吗？如果education是个例子 那么是用education来阐述题目 还是阐述education自己？）

It is remarkable to notice that we are surroundings to others too. The world could be a better place by bettering our own attitudes even a little. As to how to get a good attitude, in my opinion, it is just the matter of choice. When something bad happens, you can choose to be gloomy and let it go from bad to worse, or be satisfied with what you have learned. Get busy living, or get busy dying. The choice defines the attitude. （仍然是胡扯）

In a word, both the surroundings and the internal characteristic determine the attitudes. And attitudes could influence the deeds thus affect the consequences. The changed surroundings then in return shape attitudes and internal characteristics.

看到开头两段 总算是有长进 从第三段开始 又回去了。
该说的没说 不该说的扯得七七八八。

第一段的开头文字上再改改就能够算不错了 第二段也差不多
问题是 第二段提出来的东西要在后面给以论证和支持？支持了吗？自己提出的观点给与证明了吗？

没证明就拿去证明后面的东西 那么不是胡扯是什么嘛。况且 后面写了那么多乱七八糟的 相关吗？

从第三段开始 写
当input 如何如何的时候 这个时候 characteristics不起作用 或者观察不到 那么自然是取决于input
当character如何如何的时候 这个时候input的效果观察不到 那么自然是character
一下子清清楚楚 一个depends就出来 事儿就说完了。

我原来贴过那个“制约分析”的帖子。表达制约 思维制约 打字制约 协同制约 其实一个道理的。
好比N个变量 某一个显著性突出的时候 其他因素可以忽略 无非把这件事从几个侧面说清楚。

看到开头以为文章可以收精华 看到中间就知道还是欠火候了。

blur13_0UID: 150275

;) 向glassfrog学习发贴子的严谨精神！！！
这么详细的帖子，小弟先下了再改，尽快发上来！！！

imong斑竹，这些天一直在按照您的追星剑特训练习，俺作了详尽的笔记，争取早点发上来给大家分享！
认真地问，imong斑竹可否抽空帮俺看看呢，我的第一篇就issue144感觉有点难，心里没底啊，是否只有像青蛙这么发贴子您才会改呢？如果这样，我也效仿是否就能得到您的批阅呢？

imongUID: 140258

呵呵 其实每天都上来 只不过越来越忙 顾不上改很多作文的。

尽管贴上来啦 首要的大家互相看看讨论
一般来说 出现什么特殊的问题的时候 或者有谁特别积极帮助别人的时候 斑竹更倾向出来冒泡呢 ^^

blur13_0UID: 150275

;) hehe，收到，理解万岁！！

恩，小弟在多问一句， ;) 这三天俺帮兄弟们认认真真改了三篇作文，说实话每篇都是认真思考，每篇大概用2个小时，可能因为基础差所以用时长（改的过程中，俺也学到很多）这样算您说的“特别积极帮助别人”吗？呵呵，如果不够，俺会在努力！如果勉强算，俺有个小请求，劳你帮俺也看看我的第一篇，主要是帮把把脉，看我还有前途吗，因为2月21号就靠了，真的没底（如果实在忙，俺理解）
还是谢谢imong的那么多好贴，当然以后俺也会给您提建议！

imongUID: 140258

看过你的文章啦 自己去看看回复吧！

genie05UID: 30358

爬过~
imong斑竹什么时候帮我也改改吧~

glassfrogUID: 170569

谢谢各位大牛的砖头啦！
imong，根据你的建议，我会尽快修改再发上来的。

glassfrogUID: 170569

The attitude is generally defined as the mental position with regard to a fact or state. Both the immediate situation and internal characteristic play a significant role in determining the attitude. Surroundings are important so that I will feel pleasant in Seattle, which is called the Emerald City, but nervous in Los Angeles, where crowds of people create noisy sound and traffic jam. The equal importance of internal characteristic can be seen by another guy who prefers to live Los Angeles because it rains nine months a year in Seattle.
(通过一个例子初步说明我的观点)

It is like a computer system. The attitude could be considered as the performance, which is usually the display on the screen. The internal characteristic depends on the CPU, chips, graphic cards, etc… The surroundings for it would be the input, which is the initial data it receives. The performance is determined more by those that are not so advanced. Suppose we have a professional operator so that a good enough input is guaranteed, the output would definitely show the limitation cause by the internal characteristic. The operator will complain to us for offering Pentium 2 in 21st century, or the TNT graphic card which is the state of art 5 years ago. But when we have the configurations according to the state of art nowadays, the performance would be defined by the initial data the computer receives. The quality of the operator will be the key point. The value of a professional operator could be only shown on these professional enough computers.
(通过一个比喻进行阐述)

Likewise, only when the internal characteristics are nearly the same can the surroundings serve as the limitations of the response of attitudes. You can easily tell what the response of a 3 year old child is when he is hungry, or sleepy since that’s the age when we were still not well shaped by the experience and learning and thus have a similar internal characteristic. But when we have grown up, the same immediate situation or surroundings must lead to different reactions for different people, which is due to the different internal characteristic after years of living. It is then the internal characteristic and the surroundings or immediate situations that both determine the attitudes.
(回复到话题本身进行讨论)

If we want to persist optimistic when facing various situations, we then need to make our internal characteristic dominant in deciding our attitudes. An optimistic person is actually a person with a strong and healthy internal view of the world. No matter how good or bad the surroundings are, or how pacific or emergent the immediate situations are, he can hold the optimistic attitude as indeed the belief. A healthy internal characteristic is based on enough knowledge, experience, and understanding of life, which is the reason for the usually advanced age of them.
(一个具体的例子，保持乐观的态度)

In a word, there is a balance between the immediate situation or surroundings and internal characteristic. The ignorance of one leads to the significance of the other. Surroundings are important when internal characteristics are not so distinct, and vice versa.
(总结)

zhangsx_1982UID: 176926

The attitude is generally defined as the mental position with regard to a fact or state. Both the immediate situation and internal characteristic play a significant role in determining the attitude. Surroundings are important so that I will feel pleasant in Seattle, which is called the Emerald City, but nervous in Los Angeles, where crowds of people create noisy sound and traffic jam. The equal importance of internal characteristic can be seen (R=shown) by（C=seen is not quite proper here I think ）another guy who prefers to live Los Angeles because it rains nine months a year in Seattle.
(通过一个例子初步说明我的观点)

It is like a computer system. The attitude could be considered as the performance, which is usually the display on the screen. The internal characteristic depends on the CPU, chips, graphic cards, etc… The surroundings for it would be the input, which is the initial data it receives. The performance is determined more by those that are not so advanced.(C=算是你的主题句了吧?我觉得放在开头好像更好些,观点层次更明确些) Suppose we have a professional operator so that a good enough input is guaranteed, the output would definitely show the limitation cause（caused） by the internal characteristic. The operator will complain to us for offering Pentium 2 in 21st century, or the TNT graphic card which is the state of art 5 years ago(R=produced 5 years ago. C=这样改不知道你是不是喜欢). But when we have the configurations according to the state of art（art? 什么意思） nowadays, the performance would be defined by the initial data the computer receives. The quality of the operator will be the key point. The value of a professional operator could be only (R=only be)shown on these professional enough computers(R=when the computers are good enough). (觉得你的比喻完全可以用更精炼的语言体现)
(通过一个比喻进行阐述)

Likewise, only when the internal characteristics are nearly the same can the surroundings serve as the limitations of the response of attitudes. You can easily tell what the response of a 3 year old child is when he is hungry, or sleepy since that’s the age when we were still not well shaped by the experience and learning and thus have a similar internal characteristic. But when we have grown up, the same immediate situation or surroundings must lead to different reactions for different people, which is due to the different internal characteristic after years of living. It is then the internal characteristic and the surroundings or immediate situations that both determine the attitudes.（C=觉得你的举例有点乱呢）
(回复到话题本身进行讨论)

If we want to persist optimistic when facing various situations, we then need to make our internal characteristic dominant in deciding our attitudes. An optimistic person is actually a person with a strong and healthy internal view of the world. No matter how good or bad the surroundings are, or how pacific or emergent the immediate situations are, he can(R=can he,觉得是这样,忘记这样对不对了) hold the optimistic attitude as indeed the belief(D). A healthy internal characteristic is based on enough knowledge, experience, and understanding of life, which is the reason for the usually advanced age of them(C=看不明白这个丛句什么意思).
(一个具体的例子，保持乐观的态度)

In a word, there is a balance between the immediate situation or surroundings and internal characteristic. The ignorance of one leads to the significance of the other. Surroundings are important when internal characteristics are not so distinct, and vice versa.
(总结)
觉得你的论证主体部分层次不怎么鲜明，感觉有点乱哦。希望老兄把各部分要说明的问题明确一下。J 提的不对的地方还请包涵。

zhangsx_1982UID: 176926

我明明在word把改的的地方弄成红色了的传上来却是:o

glassfrogUID: 170569

zhangsx_1982，谢谢你的批阅
关于变色问题
在作文版有一个帖子变色工具，用那东西挺好

glassfrogUID: 170569

zhangsx_1982：
state of the art是指代表当前技术最高水平的意思
no matter后面的确是要用倒装，谢谢你的提醒
我的论证的确还是比较混乱，我会继续努力

zhangsx_1982UID: 176926

:)  学习中！