Issue114 科技类，第六篇！

blur13_0UID: 150275

Issue114. "Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity."
人类在过去的一百年左右止步不前。技术在不断进步而人类的整体条件却没有改善。战争、暴力和贫困仍然困扰着我们。技术无法改变人类的处境。
技术进步之人类
关键词 real progress ，overall condition，cannot change
提纲   is 1+1 以后补.... ;)

2小时40分
正文
Has humanity really get little advance over the past century? I agree with the statement above that technology cannot ultimately alter the overall condition of humanity, for the reason that the enduring problems of war, violence and poverty derive from human nature and the technology is just a kind of neutral tool in human's hands. However, I disagree with the speaker in that humanity has made some true progress in some aspects while technology innovations assist people in some positive ways.

It is true that the total condition of humanity cannot be thoroughly changed be technology. For one thing, the enduring problems such as war, violence, and poverty, which maybe have lasted for thousands of years, originated from the nature and desires of human beings even since when our ancestors separated into different tribes for foods and lands. These are not newly emerging knots, but the old and repeated nightmares accompanying with humanity. For another thing, technology is just a sort of neutral tool, which is made by human's hands to come to their goals. Technological innovations can provide strength for people not only to improve conditions of lives but also to ruin the civilizations, that is, a danger weapon for evil activities. Nuclear energy may be made into a devastating bomb while be applied in power plants. Internet can distribute unhealthy information in a huge scope while serve as a strong media for art and science education. Yet, the bad or good decisions are not made by technology but chosen by human. Therefore, it is necessary to clarify the fact that technology should not be ultimately responsible for the deterioration of the overall conditions of humanity, in the meantime; it cannot really convert the conditions of humanity all along.

However, for my part, the statement is a bit misleading in that over the past century humanity has somewhat truly advanced in many respects. In fact, with the assistant of technological innovations in many positive ways, the conditions of our lives, our qualities and our arts have made considerable progress, although war, violence and poverty are still around us. For example, the average span-life of overall human beings has ascended in an increasing rate, when more and more people especially in developing countries could be fed with steady food supplies, because new technologies in gene engineering of crops have largely improve the crop production. As a result, many civil fights lasting for many years just for food distribution in some poor areas broke down and people in different tribes became friendly each other rather than hostile. Besides, high-tech brought lots of fresh and efficient ways for people to help each other. For instance, recently, just in the other day after the ground sea in south Asia, thousands of people in other countries donate a great amount of money through Internet by clicking keyboards. In the web site of this incident, many people were aware of the smallness in front of nature and the significance of the help between us.

In conclusion, technology cannot thoroughly alter the overall condition of humanity, which is derived and determined by human nature. Yet, as a kind of neutral tool, technology and its innovations have indirectly contributed something valuable to humanity over the past century.

玉面小狐狸UID: 188981

Issue114. "Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity."
人类在过去的一百年左右止步不前。技术在不断进步而人类的整体条件却没有改善。战争、暴力和贫困仍然困扰着我们。技术无法改变人类的处境。
技术进步之人类
关键词 real progress ，overall condition，cannot change
提纲 is 1+1 以后补....  

2小时40分
正文
Has humanity really get little advance over the past century? I [do][用do可以更好体现让步意味]agree with the statement above that technology cannot ultimately alter the overall condition of humanity, for the reason that the enduring problems of war, violence and poverty derive from human nature and the technology is just a kind of neutral tool in human's hands. However, I disagree with the speaker in that humanity has made some true progress in some aspects while technology innovations assist people in some positive ways.

It is true that the total condition of humanity cannot be thoroughly changed be[应该是by吧，小心这种笔误阿] technology. For one thing, the enduring problems such as war, violence, and poverty, which maybe have lasted for thousands of years, originated from the nature and desires of human beings even since when[这个when要吗] our ancestors separated into different tribes for foods and lands. These are not newly emerging knots, but the old and repeated nightmares accompanying with humanity. For another thing, technology is just a sort of neutral tool, which is made by human's hands to come to their goals. Technological innovations can provide strength for people not only to improve conditions of lives but also to ruin the civilizations, that is, a danger weapon for evil activities. Nuclear energy may be made into a devastating bomb while be applied in power plants. Internet can distribute unhealthy information in a huge scope while serve as a strong media for art and science education. Yet, the bad or good decisions are not made by technology [itself]but chosen by human. Therefore, it is necessary to clarify the fact that technology should not be ultimately responsible for the deterioration of the overall conditions of humanity, in the meantime; it cannot really convert the conditions of humanity all along.[我觉得这句总结有点偏，因为题目是说技术没能改变我们的生活，结尾似乎把恶化人类生活条件和没改变放在了同一地位]

However, for my part, the statement is a bit misleading in that[嘿我特爱用这个替换because] over the past century humanity has somewhat truly advanced in many respects. In fact, with the assistant of technological innovations in many positive ways, the conditions of our lives, our qualities and our arts have made considerable progress, although war, violence and poverty are still around us. For example, the average span-life of overall human beings has ascended in an increasing rate, when more and more people especially in developing countries could be fed with steady food supplies, because new technologies[used] in gene engineering of crops have largely improve the crop production. As a result, many civil fights lasting for many years just for food distribution in some poor areas broke down and people in different tribes became friendly each other rather than hostile. Besides,[可以写成...hostile,and besides,] [据说老美对插入式的语言情有独钟，既然前后意思差不多可以联上就用呗]high-tech brought lots of fresh and efficient ways for people to help each other. For instance, recently, just in the other day after the ground sea in south Asia, thousands of people in other countries donate a great amount of money through Internet by clicking keyboards. In the web site of this incident, many people were aware of the smallness in front of nature and the significance of the help between us.[例子不会说话，虽然这是在补充前面的观点最好也要再分析几句，例如：without the developed high-technology ,we can hardly raise money from people all over the world in such a efficient way.We utilize technology.We control technology.We can never leave technology.据说短句结尾比较有力]

In conclusion, technology cannot thoroughly alter the overall condition of humanity, which is derived and determined by human nature.[which 指的是谁呢，不会是technology吧，对主语应该不要用which吧。可以写成technology,drived and determined by human nature,cannot ...humanity 同位语据说是个好东西]Yet, as a kind of neutral tool, technology and its innovations have indirectly contributed something valuable to humanity over the past century.
由于我也刚刚开始写，所以对用词不太讲究，我觉得你和我一样有一个共同的小缺点就是用词比较低级，鲜有精彩的词汇来表达普通的意思，以后可以通过积累同义词来改进。
还有第三段如果分成两小点分两段论述也许会更好。
另外我觉得你的例子举得很不错，与时俱进啊！

blur13_0UID: 150275

;) lovely玉面小狐狸，非常感谢你的建议，我细细研究，都是对我非常有建设性的好意见！！！尤其是插入语和同位语的建议，很有道理，还有第二段结尾的跑题（本想偷懒，被你识破，惭愧 :mad: ），还有第三段后面帮我加的小尾巴，感觉好多了。。。欣喜中。

改文
Has humanity really get little advance over the past century? I do agree with the statement above that technology cannot ultimately alter the overall condition of humanity, for the reason that the enduring problems of war, violence and poverty derive from human nature and the technology is just a kind of neutral tool in human's hands. However, I disagree with the speaker in that humanity has made some true progress in some aspects while technology innovations assist people in some positive ways.

It is true that the total condition of humanity cannot be thoroughly changed by technology. For one thing, the enduring problems such as war, violence, and poverty, which maybe have lasted for thousands of years, originated from the nature and desires of human beings even since when our ancestors separated into different tribes for foods and lands. These are not newly emerging knots, but the old and repeated nightmares accompanying with humanity. For another thing, technology is just a sort of neutral tool, which is made by human's hands to come to their goals. Technological innovations can provide strength for people not only to improve conditions of lives but also to ruin the civilizations, that is, a danger weapon for evil activities. Nuclear energy may be made into a devastating bomb while be applied in power plants. Internet can distribute unhealthy information in a huge scope while serve as a strong media for art and science education. Yet, the bad or good decisions are not made by technology itself but chosen by human. Therefore, as a neutral instrument, technology cannot really convert the conditions of humanity all along.

However, for my part, the statement is a bit misleading in that over the past century humanity has somewhat truly advanced in many respects. In fact, with the assistant of technological innovations in many positive ways, the conditions of our lives, our qualities and our arts have made considerable progress, although war, violence and poverty are still around us. For example, the average span-life of overall human beings has ascended in an increasing rate, when more and more people especially in developing countries could be fed with steady food supplies, because new technologies used in gene engineering of crops have largely improve the crop production. As a result, many civil fights lasting for many years just for food distribution in some poor areas broke down and people in different tribes became friendly each other rather than hostile, and besides, high-tech brought lots of fresh and efficient ways for people to help each other. For instance, recently, just in the other day after the ground sea in south Asia, thousands of people in other countries donate a great amount of money through Internet by clicking keyboards. In the web site of this incident, many people were aware of the smallness in front of nature and the significance of the help between us.Without the developed high-technology ,we could hardly raise money from people all over the world in such an efficient way. We utilize technology. We control technology. We can never leave technology.

In conclusion, the overall condition of humanity, stemming from human nature, cannot be thoroughly altered by technology. Yet, as a kind of neutral tool, technology and its innovations have indirectly contributed something valuable to humanity over the past century.

玉面小狐狸UID: 188981

哇这回句式和用词都下了不少功夫！
It is true that the total condition of humanity cannot be thoroughly changed by technology. For one thing, the enduring problems such as war, violence, and poverty, which maybe have lasted for thousands of years, originated from the nature and desires of human beings even since when our ancestors separated into different tribes for foods and lands. These are not newly emerging knots, but the old and repeated nightmares accompanying with humanity. For another thing, technology is just a sort of neutral tool, which is made by human's hands to come to their goals. Technological innovations can provide strength for people not only to improve conditions of lives but also to ruin the civilizations, that is, a danger dangerousweapon for evil activities.这一句最好能把下面两个例子都领起来，不然internet的例子好像有点孤独 a tool backfired our lifeNuclear energy may be made into a devastating bomb while be applied in power plants. Internet canalso distribute unhealthy information in a huge scope while serve as a strong media for art and science education. Yet, the bad or good decisions are not made by technology itself but chosen by human. Therefore, as a neutral instrument, technology cannot really convert the conditions of humanity all along.
这次已经写得很好啦加油