Issue238,忙着考试10天没写作文了,大退步啊~大家帮忙看看,多谢

花之颜色UID: 187195

------题目------
Conformity almost always leads to a deadening of individual creativity and energy.
提纲:
1 conformity 抑制创造,举例中美教育学生模式比较
2 unconformity 导致新发现,例子伽利略，波义耳，普朗克
3 让步,有些情况下, conformity增加创造力
必须遵循客观规律（反例揠苗助长）和社会规范
结论:完全不动脑子的服从有害,但是客观规律,社会秩序要遵守,接着
发现其不足,并改善和创新.
------正文------
Conformity shouldn't suffocate individual creativity and energy any more. Creativity means something original and even unique, which is contrary to conformity. Thus, in most cases, creativity is indeed deadened by complete conformity.

Firstly, conformity requires identical characters, that is, nobody could have different opinions and behaviors from the others. Since each one is the same, then no novel ideas would be come up with. A case in point is that Chinese children are always required to be obedient. In school, they have to do what the teachers demand without defiance, while at home, the parents decide everything. Those compliant kids are highly praised and taken as good examples for others. Consequently, the kids brought up in such a dependent way usually lack courage and ability to live independently.  Since they cannot adapt to new environment and deal with any accidental happenings, they can make no innovations at all. On the contrary, American kids are superior to their Chinese peers in this aspect. From an early age, they are encouraged to propose their own points of views, no matter how absurd or funny these ideas look like. Unlike formal and serene atmosphere of Chinese class, the active and free air of American class is undoubtedly more helpful to cultivate the children's habit to think independently and the courage to challenge authorities. Therefore, students in American are more imaginative and creative than Chinese ones.  

Furthermore, in academic field, unconformity or defiance to the authority often is the quarry of new findings. For example, Galileo did the famous experiment on the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which refuted Aristotle's false theory about falling objects and correctly described their behavior. Similarly, Robert Boyle established scientific element theory by disproving Aristotle's the four elements theory. Moreover, Max Planck came up with quantum theory, drawing the conclusion of the generalization of classical physics in micro world. All there cases demonstrate that unconformity sparks people's enthusiasms and inspirations to make innovations, while conformity tends to stifle curiosity and block the way to discovery and invention.

Admittedly, as coins have two sides, in certain fields, conformity does not undermine but enhance individual creativity and energy. For one thing, we should comply with objective laws so that more achievements would be received and less effort would be needed. An old Chinese fable is a reverse example. It says that once there was a silly farmer, who absurdly drew his crops everyday to make them grow more quickly. Of course, this foolish behavior, not according to natural laws, only led to no fruits at all. For another thing, only when each one observes the laws and social moral can the society operate smoothly and then the individuals could exert their abilities to the utmost degree. Or else, individual creativity and energy would be undermined.

To sum up, complete conformity without personal consideration, which is evidently harmful to individual development, should certainly be avoided and broke up. However, since the conformity to natural laws and social regulations is the prerequisite to exert personal ability, we should first comply with the laws before we have enough capability to find their faults and then break through their shackles, finally making new findings and creations.

panda2727UID: 138271

全文读起来流畅。佩服楼主能记住那么多科学家的名字写法。

全文的观点读下来应该是有让步的支持题目观点：虽然必要的conformity是应该的，但是主旋律是鼓励unconformity的。因为你第一部分和第二部分是从正反两个方面论述了应该unconformity。但是文章第一句“Conformity shouldn't suffocate individual creativity and energy any more”就冲淡了主题，让人感觉和你文中表达的观点不太符合。

第二部分中你举了科学领域里的例子来支持你的观点。感觉论证力度不够。首先仅仅举了科学领域来概括，那么其他领域到底是什么情况呢？unconformity在这些领域有益吗？其次在科学领域里通过几个例子，就得出“All there cases demonstrate that unconformity sparks people's enthusiasms and inspirations to make innovations, while conformity tends to stifle curiosity and block the way to discovery and invention.”的结论比较草率。他们仅仅只是挑战权威就成功了？那么，读的人可以认为只要挑战权威而unconformity的人就能成功。所以在这个地方逻辑不严密。

第三部分让步处理得不错。

有什么不同意见，尽管拍回来。

blur13_0UID: 150275

;)
Conformity shouldn't suffocate individual creativity and energy any more.[题目是is型，没有提should的必要啊] Creativity means something original and even unique, which is contrary to conformity. Thus, in most cases, creativity is indeed deadened by complete conformity.[一点不提energy也成吗？]

Firstly, conformity requires identical characters, that is, nobody could have[虚拟语气吗？] different opinions and behaviors from the others.[感觉上句有点怪] Since each one is the same, then no novel ideas would be come up with.[为何说上句？] A case in point is that Chinese children are always required to be obedient. In school, they have to do what the teachers demand without defiance, while at home, the parents decide everything. Those compliant kids are highly praised and taken as good examples for others. Consequently, the kids brought up in such a dependent way usually lack courage and ability to live independently. Since they cannot adapt to new environment and deal with any accidental happenings, they can make no innovations at all. [new environment 从何而来？]On the contrary, American kids are superior to their Chinese peers in this aspect. From an early age, they are encouraged to propose their own points of views, no matter how absurd or funny these ideas look like. Unlike[the] formal and serene atmosphere of Chinese class, the active and free air of American class is undoubtedly more helpful to cultivate the children's habit to think independently and the courage to challenge authorities. Therefore, students in American are more imaginative and creative than Chinese ones. [例子不错，但应把atmosphere说得更具体点！否则。。。]

Furthermore, in academic field, unconformity or defiance to the authority often is the quarry of new findings.[这个句子真生动阿] For example, Galileo did the famous experiment on the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which refuted Aristotle's false theory about falling objects and correctly described their behavior. Similarly, Robert Boyle established scientific element theory by disproving Aristotle's the four elements theory.[最好别用伽利略，用的人太多] Moreover, Max Planck came up with quantum theory, drawing the conclusion of the generalization of classical physics in micro world. All there cases demonstrate that unconformity sparks people's enthusiasms and inspirations to make innovations, while conformity tends to stifle curiosity and block the way to discovery and invention.[不如上段例子细致，建议集中精力举一个！]

Admittedly, as coins have two sides, in certain fields, conformity does not undermine but enhance individual creativity and energy. For one thing, we should[用should小心，可用can] comply with objective laws so that more achievements would be received and less effort would be needed. An old Chinese fable is a reverse example. It says that once there was a silly farmer, who absurdly drew his crops everyday to make them grow more quickly. Of course, this foolish behavior, not according to natural laws, only led to no fruits at all. For another thing, only when each one observes the laws and social moral can the society operate smoothly and then the individuals could exert their abilities to the utmost degree. Or else, individual creativity and energy would be undermined. [例子还可以详细]

To sum up, complete conformity without personal consideration, which is evidently harmful to individual development, should certainly be avoided and broke up. However, since the conformity to natural laws and social regulations is the prerequisite to exert personal ability, we should first comply with the laws before we have enough capability to find their faults and then break through their shackles, finally making new findings and creations.
[总评：例子还须加强！结构清晰，语言要加强，我其实不如你，个人意见啊]

花之颜色UID: 187195

谢谢谢谢~意见很中肯,我再改改~