issue51 继续贴，大家砸呀

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

Issue51  第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

期末考完了，宿舍的哥们都开始疯玩了。我还得在嘈杂的环境里写作文，郁闷啊！
一定要坚持每天发！

------提纲------
1 初等教育不应该仅仅根据孩子的个人兴趣来定
2 小孩的兴趣常常的多变的
3 对于大学生来说，针对兴趣的教育是必要的。

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
I agree with the speaker's opinion insofar as that individual needs and interests are crucial to students' development. For college students, it is beneficial to design education especially for the needs and interests of each student. However, I insist that general education rather than specially designed education is more suitable to children.

First, the purpose of elementary education is not to train children into specialists based on their interests but to enhance them to grow freely. It is the duty of education to provide student enough skills to cope with all the problems in their future life. Also, from education, students should establish a system of values to the life and society. A genius with ill research purpose to humankind is more harmful to the society than those ordinary persons. Moreover, education should prepare students adequate communicating skills, ability of cooperation and leading capability to meet the need of future career. Furthermore, education should also emphasize students' ability of critical thinking and logical reasoning, which is the basis of development of any discipline. If education focuses too much on the interests of the students and neglect the essence of education, it would be detrimental to the development of the children.

Second, children's needs and interests are usually capricious; sometimes even a kind of impulse. Immature both mentally and physically, it is difficult for children to be ware of what their real needs or interests are. Without restriction, most students might choose the easiest or the more attractive subjects to learn rather than what they really need. Maybe every child has the dream to be a soldier or policeman. Nonetheless, in most cases, adults might find that their true interests are far different from those in their childhood. Hence, if after several years' education designed for some particular interests, students realize that they are no longer their interests, it might be a great of waste both to those students and the society.

When it comes to college students, general education is no longer what college students need firstly, since they have established a set of moral values and formed their interests. Hence, education designed specially to meet individual needs and interests is important. There is a saying goes, 'Interest is the best teacher'. Only students are interested in some subjects can they concentrate on them and learn them well. Furthermore, one of the goals of high education is to prepare students for their career. Therefore, education specially designed for the needs of their careers will enhance students’ performance in their future jobs.

To sum up, specially designed education is necessary for college students. And general education should still be emphasized in elementary education. It is harmful to narrow elementary education on the apparent needs and interests and ignore the primary purpose of education.

花之颜色UID: 187195

ft～我还没考完哪！17号还有一门，前几天忙着写论文没空写作文了都！
太郁闷了，改到一半一不小心，那个破软件把我的工作成果全搞没了郁闷死，只好从头来过

花之颜色UID: 187195

I agree with the speaker's opinion[U] insofar as  that individual needs and interests are crucial to students' development[/U] 感觉这句有点别扭. For college students, it is beneficial to design 【education especially for the needs and interests of each student】改成personal education for different  individuals. However, I insist that general education rather than specially designed education is more suitable to children.

First, the purpose of elementary education is not to train children into specialists based on their interests but to enhance them to grow freely. It is the duty of education to provide student enough skills to cope with all the problems in their future life. Also, from education, students should establish a system of values to the life and society. A genius with ill research purpose to humankind is more harmful 【to the society有点罗嗦了，前面说过to humankind】 than those ordinary persons. Moreover, education should prepare students adequate communicating skills, ability of cooperation and leading capability to meet the need of future career. Furthermore, education should also emphasize students' ability of critical thinking and logical reasoning, which is the basis of development of any discipline. If education focuses too much on the interests of the students and neglect the essence of education, it would be detrimental to the development of the children.

Second, children's needs and interests are usually capricious; sometimes even a kind of impulse[ so it is difficult for the experts to follow their wimsical interests and desigh suitable educational methods]. Immature both mentally and physically, it is difficult for children to be ware of what their real needs or interests are. Without restriction, most students might choose the easiest or the more attractive subjects to learn rather than [what they really need]跟前句重复，建议改成 what really useful to them. [U]Maybe every child has the dream to be a soldier or policeman. Nonetheless, in most cases, adults might find that their true interests are far different from those in their childhood. [/U]  这两句是不是调下顺序？先写成年后的兴趣和同年梦想差很多，再具体写小时候往往梦想……加一句长大后发现……才是自己真正兴趣所在Hence, if after several years' education designed for some particular interests, students realize that they are no longer their interests, it might be a great 【of】删掉可也 waste both to those students and the society.

When it comes to college students, general education is no longer what college students need firstly, since they have established a set of moral values and formed their interests【加形容词限定一下，强调这时候的兴趣有别于童年的，是真正的，固定的】. Hence, education designed specially to meet individual needs and interests is [U]important[/U] more beneficial. There is a saying goes, 'Interest is the best teacher'(这句语法和标点是不是有问题？). [U]Only students are interested in some subjects can they concentrate on them and learn them well. [/U]  病句Furthermore, one of the goals of high education is to prepare students for their career. Therefore, education specially designed for the needs of their careers will enhance students’ performance in their future jobs.

To sum up, specially designed education is necessary for college students. And general education should still be emphasized in elementary education. It is harmful to narrow elementary education on the apparent needs and interests and ignore the primary purpose of education.

大的脉络是清晰的，就是第一段说的东西太多，有点乱，用了一堆此外，建议再整理一下。

happymichelleUID: 154082

Issue51 第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

期末考完了，宿舍的哥们都开始疯玩了。我还得在嘈杂的环境里写作文，郁闷啊！
一定要坚持每天发！

------提纲------
1 初等教育不应该仅仅根据孩子的个人兴趣来定
2 小孩的兴趣常常的多变的
3 对于大学生来说，针对兴趣的教育是必要的（提纲不错，clear and direct）
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
I agree with the speaker's opinion insofar as that individual needs and interests are crucial to students' development. For college students, it is beneficial to design education especially for the needs and interests of each student. However, I insist that general education rather than specially designed education is more suitable to children. （好，观点明确）

First, the purpose of elementary education is not to train children into specialists based on their interests but to enhance（enhance 这个词不准确，还不如help） them to grow freely. It is the duty of education to provide student enough skills to cope with all the problems in their future life. Also, from education, students should establish a system of values to the life and society. A genius with ill research purpose to humankind is more harmful to the society than those ordinary persons. Moreover, education should prepare students adequate communicating skills, ability of cooperation and leading capability to meet the need of future career. Furthermore, education should also emphasize students' ability of critical thinking and logical reasoning, which is（are） the basis of development of any discipline. If education focuses too much on the interests of the students and neglect the essence of education, it would be detrimental to the development of the children. （很好的段子，你从skill, value, critical thinking这些角度出发都很好证明了基础教育不能考虑孩子的兴趣，但是你的TS说help them grow freely,似乎没有概括出你的本意；另外段子中间结构有些乱skill, value说完又moreover了一遍skill,最好能说完一点在提出下一点，anyway better job than mine!~）

Second, children's needs and interests are usually capricious（好词，虽然背过但没有想到用,汗~）; sometimes even a kind of impulse. Immature both mentally and physically, it is difficult for children to be ware of what their real needs or interests are. Without restriction, most students might choose the easiest or the more attractive subjects to learn rather than what they really need. Maybe every child has the dream to be a soldier or policeman.（你是想说每个孩子都曾经有过当..的梦想吧，但没说清楚，跟后面连接不好） Nonetheless, in most cases, adults might find that their true interests are far different from those （dreams）in their childhood. Hence, if after several years' education designed for some particular interests, students realize that they （这个they通常都会理解成students,改成such interests）are no longer their （current）interests, it might be a great of waste（of great waste） both to those students and （to）the society.

When it comes to college students, general education is no longer what college students need firstly, since they have established a set of moral values and formed their interests. （这个TS衔接非常好，漂亮）Hence, education designed specially to meet individual needs and interests is important. There is a saying goes, 'Interest is the best teacher'(这句语法和标点是不是有问题？). Only students are interested in some subjects can they concentrate on them and learn them well. （别扭！改成Without interests, students can hardly concentrate on their studies, let alone learn them well如何？）Furthermore, one of the goals of high education is to prepare students for their career. Therefore, education specially designed for the needs of their careers will enhance students’ performance in their future jobs.

To sum up, specially designed education is necessary for college students. And general education should still be emphasized in elementary education. It is harmful to narrow elementary education on the apparent needs and interests （of different student）and ignore the primary purpose of education.（简洁有力，很好！）

你的思路结构都很清楚，语言也很流畅
除了BODY1内部安排上有瑕疵，及个别的语法错误外，我看不出什么大问题
这个绝对写得比我的好,赞一个~

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

谢谢花花和Michelle!
改了第一段

First, the purpose of elementary education is not to train children into speicalists according to their interets, but to provide them basic requirements to grow up as a new generation of citizens to function in the society. On the one hand, education should help children to establish a value system to distinguish right from wrong, to cultivate a positive attitude toward life and society.  A genius with ill research purpose could bring more dangers to human beings than ordinary persons. One the other hand, schools have to teach students enough "life skills", such as logical thinking, analysis, creative problem-solving, which are indispensable to their future no matter what caceers they choose. Moreover, modern education should emphasize more on fostering students' leadership, sportmanship, ability of organization to meet the demand of competition in contemporary society. If education focuses too much on the interests of the students and neglect the essence of education, it would be detrimental to the development of the children.