argument一篇 欢迎拍转：）

tomwangUID: 189768

作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：48分0秒     364 words
------题目------
The following appeared in a memo from the president of a company that builds and sells new homes in Steel City.

"Over the past five years, the population of Steel City has increased by more than 20 percent, and family incomes in Steel City have risen much faster than the national average. Nationwide, sales of houses priced above $150,000 have increased more than have sales of lower-priced houses. Such data indicate that we should make changes in our business to increase company profits. First, we should build fewer low-priced houses than we did last year and focus instead on building houses designed to sell at above $150,000. Second, we should hire additional workers so that we can build a larger total number of houses than we did last year."

------正文------
The president claims that they should focus on building expensive houses instead of cheap ones, and they should hire more workers. This recommendation is based on the observation that during the last five years, the population of Steel City has increased , also they earned more. In addition, the speaker point out that the national survey shows that higher-priced houses sells better . The conclusion sounds reasonable at the first glance , however, a careful analysis reveals several problems with the argument which is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

In the first place, the increasing of the Steel City families' incomes do not necessarily mean that more family will buy new houses . It is possible that despite the increasing, the Steel City families' incomes are still lower than other places in the country. Even if Steel City families' incomes are higher , no evidence shows that they have the plans to buy new houses, and  maybe they would like to buy something else, or even just put the money in the bank. Thus, the mere fact that the Steel City families' incomes has increased lends scant support to the recommendation.

In the second place, the speaker assumes that the nationwide statistics about the preference of the house buyers applies equally to Steel City's people. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. Perhaps the people of Steel City all like small buildings . Also, there is no evidence that the company will get more profits through the selling of  more expensive buildings . Without taking into account these possibilities , the conclusion can not be properly drawn.

In the third place, even if more people will buy new houses next year , the author provides no evidence that more workers are needed. It is entirely possible that there has been too many workers in the company that some of them has no work to do.

In sum, to persuade me that higher-priced houses and more workers are needed the author must supply clear evidence that more people will buy higher-priced houses next year. Moreover, it would be necessary for author to rule out all the above-mentioned possibilities before we could better evaluate the argument.

gdhdannyUID: 125843

写的很不错，第一篇能写成这样真的很不容易。

大概看了一下，第一个body的TS the increasing of...do(does)其他的语言我觉得已经很成熟了

希望你也能多帮别人改改作文，提高会更快的

happymichelleUID: 154082

The president claims that they should focus on building expensive houses instead of cheap ones, and they should hire more workers. This recommendation is based on the observation that during the last five years, the population of Steel City has increased , also they earned more. In addition, the speaker point out that the national survey shows that higher-priced houses sells better . The conclusion sounds reasonable at the first glance , however, a careful analysis reveals several problems with the argument which is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

In the first place, the increasing of the Steel City families' incomes do not necessarily mean that more family will buy new houses . It is possible that despite the increasing, the Steel City families' incomes are still lower than other places in the country. Even if Steel City families' incomes are higher , no evidence shows that they have the plans to buy new houses, and maybe they would like to buy something else, or even just put the money in the bank. Thus, the mere fact that the Steel City families' incomes has increased lends scant support to the recommendation.(这段写得不错,增加的收入不一定用来买房，补充一点，increasing income还有可能是inflation, devaluation)

In the second place, the speaker assumes that the nationwide statistics about the preference of the house buyers applies equally to Steel City's people. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. Perhaps the people of Steel City all like small buildings . Also, there is no evidence that the company will get more profits through the selling of more expensive buildings . Without taking into account these possibilities , the conclusion can not be properly drawn.(从全国的情况不一定适合地方这个角度，但是写得比较凌乱，还有你说small building,但是原文是lower priced,这两个概念可不同哦，如果我是你的话，可能会把profits拿出来单写一段)

In the third place, even if more people will buy new houses next year , the author provides no evidence that more workers are needed. It is entirely possible that there has been too many workers in the company that some of them has no work to do.(这段从worker的角度就显得太过单薄了，你可以在挖掘别的角度eg现在房子是否不够？是否有钱雇佣更多的worker,等等)

In sum, to persuade me that higher-priced houses and more workers are needed the author must supply clear evidence that more people will buy higher-priced houses next year. Moreover, it would be necessary for author to rule out all the above-mentioned possibilities before we could better evaluate the argument.

anyway, good job for your first argument
and keep practicing

imongUID: 140258

请注意发帖的格式要求 ^^

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=208286

tomwangUID: 189768

多谢各位指点！！！ :)