issue90学生选课问题，3个小时在老板的眼皮底下心惊胆跳的完成，难啊

青蛙过河UID: 153167

issue90: college students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market.
提纲:
1开头,
2不应该光靠就业市场,因为没有永远热门的职业
3我们一些追求使得就业的便利变得不那么重要
4而另一方面,兴趣是最好的老师，是成功的保障。
5结尾
I agree the arguer's assertion that when it comes to selecting subjects, interest, rather than job market, is a better considerable aspect to a college student, which can be substantiated by follow discussions.

To begin with, makeing choice from the aspect of pop jobs is not only unnecessary but also unpratical-because of the rapid changing market.It is a acceleratingly changing time that we live in. With the expeditious development of the science and technology, the expectancy jobs at present do not mean that they are still popular in few years.There are a great many of instences to illustrate this argument.Ten years ago, IT was the most promising career which had the vastliest job expectancy. Whereas large quantities of college student engage in IT studying, who knows what is waiting for them is a worldwide unemployment resulted from the economical crisis and saturation of the IT areas. Mastering the direction of the life can not be a easy thing, so does the jobs.

Another problem with focusing primarily on promising jobs has to do with one's personal values, fulfillment, and larger life goals. Diverse individuals have various value philosophies and personal objectives. For example,well awaring that their future will not be financially lucrative, some students, who have overriding altruistic desire rather than money, still select one of the helping subjects, such as nursing, teaching or social work as their college majors and career directions. At the same time, other choose to pursue intellectual or creative fulfillment-as writers, artists, or musicials-knowing that they are trading off dollars for non-tangible rewards. Under this circumstance, promising employment expectancy plays a peripheral role in major selecting.

On the other hand, interest assumes an active and significant role in one' pursuing progress, which inspire students to wire in, enjoy, and fulfill themselves. Interest is the effective anodyne during one's suffering the frustration and aridity in her/his job. Consider Hawking Stephen for example, one of the most famous physicists in our time, whose interest and favor in physics render him to overcome physical and mental difficulties with great patience and persistence. Without enormous passion and inherent interest in sciences, he was unable to achieve gorgeous accomplishment and comprehensive respect. Without interest, one can not bear the suffering in the process of pursuing success, left alone the beating of the failure.

If all the factors above are considered, we will find out that the advantages of choocing subjects by interests outweigh those of by job markets. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that choosing interest as the consideration is a rather wise decision.

comywenUID: 172022

先帮你顶上去，过两天看看，不过好像很多拼写错误哦！

panda2727UID: 138271

首先建议楼主在发文之前先用word自己检查下自己的词汇拼写。
其次有几处标点后面应该有空格，而你没有。
还有些语法错误就不一一指出了。抱歉。
文章开头，我觉得楼主所用的比如“which can be substantiated by follow discussions.”这样的句子，不是很好。有点argument结构模板的感觉。我个人认为，要让每句话都要为观点做出贡献，而那种结构的句子就没有必要了。

第一部分，没有永远热门的职业。我认为这个论点找的不是很好，没有很有力的支持你的观点。虽然没有永远热门的职业，但是对于教育而言，我总能不断改变我的教育内容，来适应不断改变的职业热点。从这个方面，就能推翻你的观点。

第二部分：我认为楼主没有把你想的完全用文字表达出来。为什么这些方面的追求，就能使他们不care热门工作。你只陈述了现象。为什么他们要追求兴趣爱好？这样做对他们有什么好处？

第三部分：如果第二部分那样展开的话，我认为实际上第三部分就成为与第二部分同质的论述，重复了。

楼主有什么不同意见，欢迎回拍，不会伤和气：），俺态度端正。呵呵。


这是我最新的文章。欢迎指导。谢谢。
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=244748

comywenUID: 172022

To begin with, makeing choice from the aspect of pop jobs is not only unnecessary but also unpratical-because of the rapid changing market.It is a acceleratingly changing time that we live in. With the expeditious development of the science and technology, the expectancy jobsat present do not mean that they are still (will still be用将来时吧？)popular in a few years. There are a great many of instences to illustrate this argument.Ten years ago, IT was the most promising career which had the vastliest job expectancy. Whereas large quantities of college student engage in IT studying, who knows what is waiting for them is a worldwide unemployment resulted from the economical crisis and saturation of the IT areas(realm似乎更好，area感觉更强调空间上的面积). Mastering the direction of the life can not be a easy thing, so does the jobs.(这句话有点牵强，前面你一直都没有讲life的事情，突然引出这个例子，似乎有点突兀) （也有些工作是从不popular到popular,比方说，俄罗斯的女子网球，随着几名优秀女子网球选手的崛起，越来越多的人将自己的孩子送去投入职业网球比赛中，觉得如果正反两面都能论述一下会更好）

第二个论点我认为是个好的出发点，但是阐述没有力度，大家为什么会不从利益的角度出发而从人生价值、更长远的目标来选择职业呢，有没有很强的说服的例子呢？writers, artists, or musicial 难道就不promise entry into the job market了吗？要知道，很长一段时间，这些都是很热门很神圣的职业，我觉得这一段你一定要点出这一部分选择职业的崇高目的，为国家，为人类，为理想，可能他们的职业很艰苦，但是最后他们赢得了荣誉和认可。

如果第二个论点阐述明确了，就不会导致第三个论点象是第二个论点的补充了。

总结，语言用词都很精确到位，句子结构也很好，如果完善一下，可以给高分了 ：）

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

issue90: college students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market.
提纲:
1开头,
2不应该光靠就业市场,因为没有永远热门的职业
3我们一些追求使得就业的便利变得不那么重要
4而另一方面,兴趣是最好的老师，是成功的保障。
5结尾
I agree the arguer's assertion that when it comes to selecting subjects, interest, rather than job market, is a better considerable aspect to a college student, which can be substantiated by follow discussions.

To begin with, [U]makeing choices from the aspect of pop jobs[/U]题目说的是pursue subjects 这么换是不是应该有个解释？from the aspect......这个表达不好accroding to  is not only unnecessary but also unpratical-because of the rapid changing market.[U]It is a acceleratingly changing time that we live in.[/U]此句多余  With the expeditious development of the science and technology, the expectancy jobs at present do not mean that they are still popular in a few years.There are a great many of instences to illustrate this argument. Ten years ago, IT was the most promising career which had the vastliest job expectancy. Whereas large quantities of college student engage in IT studying, who knows what is waiting for them is a worldwide unemployment resulted from the economical crisis and saturation of the IT areas. [U]Mastering the direction of the life can not be a easy thing, so does the jobs.[/U] 总结的话直接说 你并没有论证掌握生活的方向是一件多么困难的事情
这一段，语易清晰，例子也挺到位，说理还是有点欠缺，为什么当时流行的职业之后变成冷门？应该多解释一下。比如你可以说社会需求不断变化，也可以说很多流行只是一时的，等等 总之要解释一下 这个论点就更充实了。

[U]Another problem with focusing primarily on promising jobs has to do with one's personal values, fulfillment, and larger life goals.[/U]这句话在我看来是一个很典型的语焉不详的中心句，建议你去精华区找一个pooh的关于如何写中心句的帖子。其实你就是想说个人的追求高于就业的需要，但是按照你的话，就得揣摩了，“只找有前途的职业的另一个问题在与一个人的价值观，任务，人生目标”这句话是否很好的反映了你的中心思想？？  Diverse（不要用这个词修饰人） individuals have various value philosophies and personal objectives. For example,well awaring that their future will not be financially lucrative, some students, who have overriding altruistic desire rather than money, still select one of the helping subjects, such as nursing, teaching or social work as their college majors and career directions. At the same time, other choose to pursue intellectual or creative fulfillment-as writers, artists, or musicials-knowing that they are trading off dollars for non-tangible rewards. Under this circumstance, promising employment expectancy plays a peripheral role in major selecting.

Do you explain why?  


On the other hand, interest assumes an active and significant role in one' pursuing progress, which inspire students to wire in, enjoy, and fulfill themselves. Interest is the effective anodyne during one's suffering the frustration and aridity in her/his job. Consider Hawking Stephen for example, one of the most famous physicists in our time, whose interest and favor in physics render him to overcome physical and mental difficulties with great patience and persistence. Without enormous passion and inherent interest in sciences, he was unable to achieve gorgeous accomplishment and comprehensive respect. Without interest, one can not bear the suffering in the process of pursuing success, left alone the beating of the failure.
建议这一段写到前面去

If all the factors above are considered, we will find out that the advantages of choocing subjects by interests outweigh those of by job markets. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that choosing interest as the consideration is a rather wise decision.

用词还要再准确一点，表达比较清晰。二三段的论证没有仔细看，还要在论证上下点工夫。个人建议，欢迎讨论。