issue154 (prepare for 207—18)

LSDUID: 157855

Issue154  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分3秒     548 words
从2005年1月3日12时14分到2005年1月3日12时45分
------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
------正文------
I agree with the speaker's assertion that both parents and communities should participate in children's education. Meanwhile, I must accentuate that the involvement of parents must obey the principle of moderation.

To begin with, communities should take part in education. In contemporary society, according to the modern education principles, students should not only stay in the so-called ivory tower, and in fact the best way of education is combine school curriculum with social practice. For this sake, communities, which can provide such opportunities, must support the modern education. A good example is German's success. In Germany, most of the middle school and college students have the opportunities for practicing in big companies or some institutions they prefer. During the process, students learn how to collaborate with others and the necessities of cooperation. More important, these special experiences provide the guidance for students and they can make a correct choice for their future careers. Now people in Germany have already see the fruit of this projects, and attribute the high level of German work to the help of the communities. From the foregoing statements, we can see the importance of communities' involvement for today's education.

Similarly, parents should also take their responsibilities for students' education. As the first teachers of children, the influence of parents are huge, parents’ action and thoughts can give their children deeply express, and sometimes this kind of affection may play an important role in the children's whole lives. For instance, the famous American leader Martin Luther King who is well known for his political assertion of freedom and equal rights for black people was to a large extent influenced by his parents’ education. His parents instilled him a reams of religions and human rights which influenced his whole life. Likewise, Edison thought as boob by his teacher due to his unique ideas when he was a child. His success also had great relationship with his mother, who educate him herself and helped cultivate Edison's interests of reading. For the two examples, we may find that parents' join for children's education also be an indispensable part.

However, everything needs moderation, so does the education of parents. If parents always add their own expectations to their children, their benign consideration will become nightmare of students. One of my friends is a typical example, because of the high hopeness of his parents, he was forced to attend enormous classes beside school work. From Monday to Sunday, his parents arranged classes of piano, handwriting, singing classes for his spare time, when we had a good time playing with little companies, he had to brought a big bag and went for these classes. I concede these special skill may help him with his future development, while as a little child, what he needs is not only knowledge, but also a happy memory of childhood. Hence, parents should not over intervene students’ education; they ought to leave students their own time and choice for their lives, not to put burden on them.

In sum, the speaker's conclusion has its merits, since without the involvement of communities, education may lose its pragmatic significance, and become simple and impractical, without the help of parents, education also may lose a strongly support. Nevertheless, the involvement, especially for parents should not beyond certain limit.

自己修改过得，请指教:p

foreverlovesUID: 166930

I agree with the speaker's assertion that both parents and communities should participate in children's education. Meanwhile, I must accentuate为何不用emphasize that the involvement of parents must obey the principle of moderation.

To begin with, communities should take part in education. In contemporary society, according to the modern education principles, students should not only stay in the so-called ivory tower, and in fact the best way of education is combine school curriculum with social practice. For this sake, communities, which can provide such opportunities, must support the modern education. A good example is German's success. In Germany, most of the middle school and college students have the opportunities for practicing in big companies or some institutions they prefer. During the process, students learn how to collaborate with others and the necessities of cooperation. More important, these special experiences provide the guidance for students and they can make a correct choice for their future careers. Now people in Germany have already see the fruit of this projects, and attribute the high level of German work to the help of the communities. From the foregoing statements, we can see the importance of communities' involvement for today's education.

Similarly, parents should also take their responsibilities for students' education. As the first teachers of children, the influence of parents are huge, parents’ action and thoughts can give their children deeply expressexpression, and sometimes this kind of affection may play an important role in the children's whole lives. For instance, the famous American leader Martin Luther King who is well known for his political assertion of freedom and equal rights for black people was to a large extent influenced by his parents’ education. His parents instilled him a reams of religions and human rights which influenced his whole life. Likewise, Edison thought as boob by his teacher due to his unique ideas when he was a child. His success also had great relationship with his mother, who educate him herself and helped cultivate Edison's interests of reading. ForFrom the two examples, we may find that parents' join for children's education also be an indispensable part.[爱迪生的例子不错,认真研读收藏之]

However, everything needs moderation, so does the education of parents. If parents always add their own expectations to their children, their benign consideration will become nightmare of(to 或 for吧) students. One of my friends is a typical example, because of the high hopenesshope of his parents, he was forced to attend enormous classes beside school work. From Monday to Sunday, his parents arranged classes of piano, handwriting, singing classes for his spare time, when we had a good time playing with little companies, he had to brought a big bag and went for these classes. I concede these special skill may help him with his future development, while as a little child, what he needs is not only knowledge, but also a happy memory of childhood. Hence, parents should not over intervene这个地方很奇怪,还是中间加个横线吧 students’ education; they ought to leave students their own time and choice for their lives, not to put burden on them.

In sum, the speaker's conclusion has its merits, since without the involvement of communities, education may lose its pragmatic significance, and become simple and impractical, without the help of parents, education also may lose a strongly support. Nevertheless, the involvement, especially for parents should not beyond certain limit.

写的挺不错的,所以只找了些小的语言上的错误,加油

LSDUID: 157855

谢谢楼上！

G猫UID: 192988

我觉得写的很好呀，条理很清楚，错误也少，向你学习：）
-----题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
------正文------
I agree with the speaker's assertion that both parents and communities should participate in children's education. Meanwhile, I must accentuate that the involvement of parents must obey the principle of moderation.

To begin with, communities should take part in education. In contemporary society, according to the modern education principles, students should not only stay in the so-called ivory tower, and in fact the best way of education is combine school curriculum with social practice. For this sake, communities, which can provide such opportunities, must support the modern education. A good example is German's success. In Germany, most of the middle school and college students have the opportunities for practicing in big companies or some institutions they prefer. During the process, students learn how to collaborate with others and the necessities of cooperation. More important, these special experiences provide the guidance for students and they can make a correct choice for their future careers. Now people in Germany have already see the fruit of this projects, and attribute the high level of German work to the help of the communities[这句有点怪，the level of work？有这种表达吗？help感觉也不是很好，assistance？]. From the foregoing statements, we can see the importance of communities' involvement for today's education.

Similarly, parents should also take their responsibilities for students' education. As the first teachers of children, the influence of parents are huge, parents’ action and thoughts can give their children deeply express [?], and sometimes this kind of affection may play an important role in the children's whole lives. For instance, the famous American leader Martin Luther King who is well known for his political assertion of freedom and equal rights for black people was to a large extent influenced by his parents’ education. His parents instilled him a reams of religions and human rights which influenced his whole life. Likewise, Edison thought as boob by his teacher due to his unique ideas when he was a child. His success also had great relationship with his mother, who educate him herself and helped cultivate Edison's interests of reading. For the two examples, we may find that parents' join for children's education also be an indispensable part.

However, everything needs moderation, so does the education of parents. If parents always add their own expectations to their children, their benign consideration will become nightmare of students. One of my friends is a typical example, because of the high hopeness of his parents, he was forced to attend enormous classes beside school work. From Monday to Sunday, his parents arranged classes of piano, handwriting, singing classes for his spare time, when we had a good time playing with little companies, he had to brought a big bag and went for these classes. I concede these special skill may help him with his future development, while as a little child, what he needs is not only knowledge, but also a happy memory of childhood. Hence, parents should not over intervene students’ education; they ought to leave students their own time and choice for their lives, not to put burden on them.

In sum, the speaker's conclusion has its merits, since without the involvement of communities, education may lose its pragmatic significance, and become simple and impractical, without the help of parents, education also may lose a strongly support. Nevertheless, the involvement, especially for parents should not beyond certain limit.

G猫UID: 192988

奇怪，变色工具竟然没变色

LSDUID: 157855

[Now people in Germany have already see the fruit of this projects, and attribute the high level of German work to the help of the communities[这句有点怪，the level of work？有这种表达吗？help感觉也不是很好，assistance？]
这句想表达德国工人的高水平要归因于他们在中学时候的社会实践。
改为：Now people in Germany have already see the fruit of this project and attribute the high level of German workers to the help of the communities’ assistance.

LSDUID: 157855

谢谢楼上：）

G猫UID: 192988

这样多少感觉有点chiglish，你不如说high quality of。。。

LSDUID: 157855

good idea：）

LSDUID: 157855

还有没有人能帮忙看看？
谢谢！

冥界星灿UID: 184746

Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
------正文------
I agree with the speaker's assertion that both parents and communities should participate in children's education. Meanwhile, I must accentuate that the involvement of parents must obey the principle of moderation好句子.

To begin with, communities should take part in education段首句很干净，短句子真的有力度. In contemporary society, according to the modern education principles, students should not only stay in the so-called ivory tower, and in fact the best way of education is combine school curriculum with social practice. For this sake, communities, which can provide such opportunities, must support the modern education. A good example is German's success. In Germany, most of the middle school and college students have the opportunities for practicing in big companies or some institutions they prefer. During the process, students learn how to collaborate with others and the necessities of cooperation. More important, these special experiences provide the guidance for students and they can make a correct choice for their future careers. Now people in Germany have already see the fruit of this projects, and attribute the high level of German worklevel of work? 什么意思？high quality? to the help of the communities. From the foregoing statements, we can see the importance of communities' involvement for好像in 好一些？ today's education.

Similarly, parents should also take their responsibilities for students' education. As the first teachers of children, the influence of parents are hugeprofound, parents’ action and thoughts can give their children deeplydeep, deeply is an adv. expressimpression, influence, and sometimes this kind of affection may play an important role inthroughout the children's whole lives. For instance, the famous American leader Martin Luther King who is well known for his political assertion of freedom and equal rights for black people was to a large extent influenced by his parents’ education. His parents instilled这个词好漂亮 him a reams这个词查了一下，好像不对。姐姐确信吗？ of religions and human rights which influenced his whole life. Likewise, Edison thought as boob by his teacher due to his unique ideas when he was a child. His success also had great relationship with his mother, who educate him herself and helped cultivate Edison's interests of reading. Forform the two examples, we may find that parents' joinparticipation for children's education also be an indispensable part.

However, everything needs moderation, so does the education ofof=>delivered by, the education of patrents means an education provided to the parents^_^ 楼主反对吗？欢迎批评 parents. If parents always add their own expectations toadd A to B是不是两个一样的东西才能加到一起？expectation  和 children 好像不能加呢？赐教 their children, their benign considerationintent will become nightmare of studentstheir children说话最好严谨，想想句子填空？. One of my friends is a typical example, because of the high hopeness of his parents, he was forced to attend enormousnumerous classes besideexcept school work?. From Monday to Sunday, his parents arranged classes of piano, handwriting, singing classesclasses去掉 for his spare time, when we had a good time playing with little companies这句最好用虚拟语气，楼主认为？, he had to brought a big bag and went forgo for 好像有其他意思attended, took part in, these classes. I concede these special skill may help him with his future development, while as a little child, what he needs is not only knowledge, but also a happy memory of childhood感人. Hence, parents should not over intervene同意foreverloves的加横线一说，请姐姐考虑 students’ education; they ought to leave students their own time and choice for their lives, not to put burden on them.

In sum, the speaker's conclusion has its merits, since without the involvement of communities, education may lose its pragmatic significance这两个词，真不错，但因为我不认识，不知道地道否，不能给姐姐保证，你自己要确定（确定的话告诉我啊^_^）, and become simple嗯？ and impractical, without the help of parents, education also may lose a strongly support. Nevertheless, the involvement, especially for parents should not beyond certain limit.

结构还是一如既往地清晰漂亮

语言是不是不在状态？虽然别人（像我这样的）能写成这样已经非常不错了，但对你，尚需斟酌。还是我乱纠一气都改错了？

但，即使如此，5。5应该是可以的，加油加油！

我是个改东西很狠的人，所以，你不要被我吓倒，就算是中文，我改完也是没法看的（满篇花^_^），你要了解，我只是在挑骨头，是希望你完美，虽然我知道完美对任何人都是不可能的（没办法，就是这么变态）。你的文章一直是满分水平，不要影响心情,

否则我就白改了，知道吗？！！！

加油，放松

LSDUID: 157855

谢谢楼上认真的修改，错了这么多真是惭愧。因为是限时写的，很多语句都没有斟酌，下次一定注意！

LSDUID: 157855

[a reams这个词查了一下，好像不对。姐姐确信吗？ Of]
这个我写错了，应该是reams of


[However, everything needs moderation, so does the education of of=>delivered by, the education of parents means an education provided to the parents^_^ 楼主反对吗？欢迎批评 parents.]
提醒得非常对，谢谢！


[If parents always add their own expectations toadd A to B是不是两个一样的东西才能加到一起？expectation 和 children 好像不能加呢？赐教
这句话想想是没有写对阿，不过你的问题我也不能确定阿，不好意思


[这句最好用虚拟语气，楼主认为？]
这个为什么呢？


[went forgo for 好像有其他意思]
nod这个改成attend


[同意foreverloves的加横线一说，请姐姐考虑]
over-intervene


[pragmatic significance这两个词，真不错，但因为我不认识，不知道地道否，不能给姐姐保证，你自己要确定（确定的话告诉我啊^_^）]
这个我觉得对吧：）


再次感谢楼上的认真修改，使我受益匪浅:p

冥界星灿UID: 184746

不如改为A useful/[这句最好用虚拟语气，楼主认为？]
这个为什么呢
因为不是真有时间，应该是本应有时间？

客气什么！给你改学到不少哦^_^

xjfromszUID: 157530

LSD最近怎么没发作文了，不许偷懒