issue224 审查不公正 第二篇，自觉比第一篇有进步

xiongyicnUID: 192745

224. "Censorship is rarely, if ever, justified."

I strongly agree with the assertion that censorship is rarely, if ever, justified. Two aspects, the principles of censorship and execution of it in the reality, would lend strong support to this statement. Yet, the chaos of information in the modern society brings the necessity of censorship.

To begin with, the principles for censoring is rarely justified and objective. Who would establish the principles of censorship? Not the whole society of a nation, but the government. And more essentially, it is some several politicians who set down the principles for censoring. Common sense tells that almost every government only tells the public the doctrines which the government conforms to. Accordingly and naturally, the government would rule out the opposite speaking, ideas to the dogmas. So, we can often see that a painting exhibition in a museum was cancelled since only several items in the exhibition was suspected that it is likely to bring on some opposite ideas to the government. Also, the editor of a newspaper or magazine, who publishes some essays without censoring, has to abdicate with the pressure of government. This kind of actions go against the nature of democracy that every citizen has the right to embrace the freedom of speech and expression(as Franklin Roosevelt claimed it as the first freedom in his address of "The Four Freedoms").


Adding further support to the statement is that the execution of censorship is rarely justified in the reality. After the principle of censorship is established, how to censor and who would execute the tasks? Let us reconsider the example about the painting exhibition in a museum mentioned before. On the same painting, it is often likely that different people will hold different views. Consequently, whether or not it will pass the censoring fully depends on the person doing this job, exactly, which depends on the education, ideas, and even political or religious beliefs of individuals. How difficult or even impossible that the censorship based on this kind of execution of censorship is often justified!

However, with the advance of information and communication technology, various kinds of information and ideas are full of everywhere of society, some of which are common enemies of mankind, such as eroticism, violence and heresy and so on. We can get any information we want from the Internet, and also a child can easily get some videos full of violence from the Internet. Furthermore, I often get some garbage emails whose subjects is always about the ideas of a kind of heresy －"FaLunGong", which often leads to violence, killing others or even suicide and has been prohibited in China. It is necessary to sweep away all of this from our society, which is the very function and duty of censorship. Imagine that how terrible if a adolescent magazine is full of pictures about eroticism, violence, which can result in a increase of illegal actions and unharmoniousness of society.

As it stands, the censorship, indeed, is rarely, if ever, justified. But a censorship is very indispensable in the modern society. How to perfect the principles and the execution of censorship,
and consequently bring on a harmonious and healthy-atmosphere society, is the responsibility of the whole human being.

xiongyicnUID: 192745

沉了，RE 一下，每天RE一下，直到有人改为止！

dvdwormUID: 168213

224. "Censorship is rarely, if ever, justified."

I strongly agree with the assertion that censorship is rarely, if ever, justified. Two aspects, the principles of censorship and execution of it in the reality, would lend strong support to this statement. Yet, the chaos of information in the modern society brings the necessity of censorship.

To begin with, the principles for censoring is rarely justified and objective. Who would establish the principles of censorship? Not the whole society of a nation, but the government. And more essentially, it is some several(some 和several 重复吧，我觉的用任何一个就可以了) politicians who set down the principles for censoring. Common sense tells that almost every government only tells the public the doctrines which the government conforms to. Accordingly and naturally, the government would rule out the opposite speaking, ideas to the dogmas. So, we can often see that a painting exhibition in a museum was cancelled since only several items in the exhibition was suspected that it is likely to bring on some opposite ideas to the government. Also, the editor of a newspaper or magazine, who publishes some essays without censoring, has to abdicate with（应改为under） the pressure of government. This kind of actions go (改为This kind of actions goes或These kinds of actions go)against the nature of democracy that every citizen has the right to embrace the freedom of speech and expression (as Franklin Roosevelt claimed it as the first freedom in his address of "The Four Freedoms").


Adding further support to the statement is that the execution of censorship is rarely justified in the reality. After the principle of censorship is established, how to censor and who would execute the tasks? Let us reconsider the example about the painting exhibition in a museum mentioned before. On the same painting, it is often likely that different people will hold different views. Consequently, whether or not it will pass the censoring fully depends on the person doing this job, exactly, which depends on the education, ideas, and even political or religious beliefs of individuals(前面是the person,所以我觉的individuals改为that individual才能对应起来). How difficult or even impossible that the censorship based on this kind of execution of censorship is often justified!

However, with the advance of information and communication technology, various kinds of information and ideas are full of everywhere of society, some of which are common enemies of mankind, such as eroticism, violence and heresy and so on. We can get any information we want from the Internet, and also a child can easily get some videos full of violence from the Internet. Furthermore, I often get some garbage emails whose subjects is always about the ideas of a kind of heresy －"FaLunGong", which often leads to violence, killing others or even suicide and has been prohibited in China(法轮功的例子我觉得最好不要举，美国人对它的看法好像和咱们不太一样，即使一样对他们而言也不熟悉，你可以举美国人他们自己历史上的邪教，我记的是有的，你查查吧.) It is necessary to sweep away all of this from our society, which is the very function and duty of censorship. Imagine that how terrible if a（an） adolescent magazine is full of pictures about eroticism, violence, which can result in a increase of illegal actions and unharmoniousness of society. [你这一段是想说虽然审查很少是公正的，但是我们还需要审查是吧？我觉得你缺少表达这一思想的TS]

As it stands, the censorship, indeed, is rarely, if ever, justified. But a censorship is very indispensable in the modern society. How to perfect the principles and the execution of censorship, and consequently bring on a harmonious and healthy-atmosphere society, is the responsibility of the whole human being.
从逻辑和思想上来看，写的还是不错的，但是有一些小得语法错误要注意呀，另外语言上我觉的句式缺少变化。
谢谢你帮我改文章，你的另一篇因为不难而且写得人挺多，我就不帮你改了，欢迎你继续把文章发上来，有时间我一定帮你看。

xiongyicnUID: 192745

谢谢，很是受用。
一起进步。
work hard and happy new year!

flyfish9UID: 156664

224. "Censorship is rarely, if ever, justified."

I strongly agree with the assertion that censorship is rarely, if ever, justified. Two aspects, the principles of censorship and execution of it in the realityin the reality?好别扭啊，用realistically多好, would lend strong support to this statement. Yet, the chaos of information in the modern society brings the necessity of censorship.开头段不啰嗦，很清楚.摆明了大否小是的立场,也指出将从principles和execution两方面阐述否的方面

To begin with, the principles for censoring isare rarely justified and objective. Who would establish the principles of censorship? Not the whole society of a nation, but the government. And more essentially, it is some several politicians who set down the principles for censoring. Common sense tells that almost every government only tells the public the doctrines which the government conforms to. Accordingly and naturally, the government would rule out the opposite speaking, ideas to the dogmas. So, we can often see that a painting exhibition in a museum wasis,时态要统一 cancelled since only several items in the exhibition was suspected that it is likely to bring on some opposite ideas to the government. 可以举《华氏911》的例子Also, the editor of a newspaper or magazine, who publishes some essays without censoring, has to abdicate with the pressure of government. This kind of actions go against the nature of democracy that every citizen has the right to embrace the freedom of speech and expression(as Franklin Roosevelt claimed it as the first freedom in his address of "The Four Freedoms").


AddingTo add further support to the statement is that the execution of censorship is rarely justified in the reality. After the principle of censorship is established, how to censor and who would execute the tasks? Let us reconsider the example about the painting exhibition in a museum mentioned before. On the same painting, it is often likely that different people will hold different views. Consequently, whether or not it will pass the censoring fully depends on the person doing this job, exactly, which depends on the education, ideas, and even political or religious beliefs of individuals. How difficult or even impossible that the censorship based on this kind of execution of censorship is often justified!

However,用Admittedly更好，毕竟是大否小是的立场，论述次要立场语气应该弱化一些 with the advance of information and communication technology, various kinds of information and ideas are full of用反了， A is full of B 是A里充满了B,如 The cup is full of milk everywhere of society, some of which are common enemies of mankind, such as eroticism, violence and heresy and so on. We can get any information we want from the Internet, and also a child can easily get some videos full of violence from the Internet. Furthermore, I often get some garbage emails whose subjects is always about the ideas of a kind of heresy －"FaLunGong", which often leads to violence, killing others or even suicide and has been prohibited in China. It is necessary to sweep away all of this from our society, which is the very function and duty of censorship.对这个可能国外看法有所不同,不过也无所谓,老美未必看得懂"FalunGong"是什么意思:)，定语从句写好就行了 Imagine that how terrible if a adolescent magazine is full of pictures about eroticism, violence, which can result in a anincrease of illegal actions and unharmoniousness of society.

As it stands, the censorship, indeed, is rarely, if ever, justified. But a censorship is very indispensable in the modern society. How to perfect the principles and the execution of censorship,
and consequently bring on a harmonious and healthy-atmosphere society, is the responsibility of the whole human being.

总体感觉思路清晰，论证有力。
语言上似乎有所不足，举例子也主要是国内的思维，如果能多搜集些国外的例子更好