issue221 pp3模考，history和illusion

haiyaUID: 187989

221. The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.

Over the course of human's history, I concede that the basic human nature maintains similarity with what it was in ancient. However, no one will deny that the society is developing and we are changing every moment. Although history may serves to break the illusion that we are significantly different from the people in any other time to some extent, to narrow down the functions of learning history into such limited notion is inconvincible.

Admittedly, the human nature hasn't changed a lot though the time lapses. For individuals, we love peace and pursue the kindness, truth and beauty. On the other hand, we hate wars and suffer from the fears and foibles. For societies, with retrospect into the history, each empires or nations are impossible to escape from the fate about the budding, prosperity and collapsing ultimately. Additionally, every period is inevitably frustrated with wars and crimes. It illustrates that negative human natures are here to stay, such as greedy, ambition, violence, dishonest, to name a few. Confronting to these homogeneities, we will have a clear understanding about ourselves and attempt to stabilize our ideal as well as overcome the foibles in our nature.

Nevertheless, if we are same, in fact, as our ancestors in all aspects as the statement mentions, why we regard our life and notion are more advanced than that in ancient? Actually, we do experience a gradual evolution in many facets. In the material world, we take advantage of many innovations and inventions with the rapid development of science and technology. As well, influenced by the development, our life style are so modernized that we get rid of the bondage of the nature to some degree. When it comes to the spiritual world, the truth of the nature are unveiled stride by stride so that we become more wise and rational to treat the natural phenomenon than the ancestors, who ascribed these common circumstance to the behavior of the God. With the respect of the art, it is converted to various expression styles to reflect our inner world and satisfy our psychological needs. In addition, notwithstanding the wars are still breaking up in the world as a nightmare to kill the people's life, nowadays, more and more nations and individuals have reached on agreement that the peace and development are the primary topic and tendency. The nations or groups, which are bogged down in the conflicts and collisions are encouraged to deal with problems through peaceful channels, such as negotiations and compromises. On balance, the human today are no longer exactly same as the primitive.

Further, to learn about history isn't only tantamount to break the illusion of the homogeneity. As Bacon, a famous British philosopher, once said, "History makes men wise." Studying the refulgent culture about the nations in history, the patriotism may be enhanced so that citizens are proud of their nations and consolidate together to contribute themselves in the career of developing their nations. Studying the faults which resulted in serious catastrophes in history, we may warn our daily behaviors and minds and prevent the recurrence of these faults. Studying the merits and virtues of the great in history, we may be stimulated to perfect ourselves and encouraged to realize our dreams.

To sum up, to study history doesn’t only equal to study the irrelevant issues to today's life. It will not only instruct us the fears and foibles in the human nature but also ensure us absorb the advantages from the issues and individuals in the history to make up for our disadvantages in reality.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

如果是限时写的,这篇文章是非常优秀的.

主体部分的第一段落和第三段落如果有一两个例子会更加丰满一点.
主体部分的第二段落分析的非常好,但是我感觉应该把落脚点放在说明"[U]通过历史研究[/U],人类也取得了长足的进步"而不应该仅仅讨论人类和过去的区别.  因为题目说的是研究历史的benefit.
你觉得呢?

haiyaUID: 187989

谢谢九月mm：）

从长度来看，第三段感觉是短了点。但因为我做了个排比， 所以如果把例子插在里面，我担心我的用词会使这个段落感觉生硬起来。当时模考时间上也来不及了。回头看的时候，如果把例子间接穿插在文章里面倒是挺好的。

我的第二段表述的意思是我们和古人还是有区别的。是表部分否定了支持所谓的illusion的内容。你的评文，我会考虑一下。

第一段因为我本人历史好差的，中文可能还能说出几个。讲到英文表述就头大了。另外我觉得因为我对于这篇题目是小部分同意。如果把第一段写得太丰满，感觉会造成头重脚轻。

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

mm?  :confused:  :mad:

如果第二段是要这样否定的话,相当与要否定两个观点:1人类和过去有了"很大的变化"(因为题目是not significant 取反就是 很大) 这样看来你的第一段的让步和第二段是不是有矛盾的地方? 2.历史不仅帮助人们认识自己与过去,更去帮助人们作出改变.

哇,这样写有点复杂呢 还是我想复杂了呢?

haiyaUID: 187989

呵呵，jj好。

被你这么一说，我也有点晕了。*^^* 等攒了砖头，明天拿它开刀。哈哈

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

Over the course of human's history, I concede that the basic human nature maintains similarity with what it was in ancient. However, no one will deny that the society is developing and we are changing every moment. Although history may serves to break the illusion that we are significantly different from the people in any other time to some extent, to narrow down the functions of learning history into such limited notion is inconvincible.

Admittedly, the human nature hasn't changed a lot though the time lapses. For individuals, we love peace and pursue the kindness, truth and beauty. On the other hand, we hate wars and suffer from the fears and foibles. For societies, with retrospect into the history, each empires or nations are impossible to escape from the fate about the budding, prosperity and collapsing ultimately.（这个例子感觉没有支持TS） Additionally, every period is inevitably frustrated with wars and crimes. It illustrates that negative human natures are here to stay, such as greedy, ambition, violence, dishonest, to name a few. Confronting to these homogeneities, we will have a clear understanding about ourselves and attempt to stabilize our ideal as well as overcome the foibles in our nature.

Nevertheless, if we are same, （in fact, 去掉）as our ancestors in all aspects as the statement mentions, why we regard our life and notion are more advanced than that in ancient? Actually, we do experience a gradual evolution in many facets. In the material world, we take advantage of many innovations and inventions with the rapid development of science and technology. As well(可以放在句首吗？), influenced by the development, our life style are so modernized that we get rid of the bondage of the nature to some degree. When it comes to the spiritual world, the truth of the nature are unveiled stride by stride so that we become more wise and rational to treat the natural phenomenon than the ancestors, who ascribed these common circumstance to the behavior of the God. With the respect of the art, it is converted to various expression styles to reflect our inner world and satisfy our psychological needs. In addition, notwithstanding the wars are still breaking up（感觉不要用进行时，我觉得应该突出曾经有许多战争，但是现在不同了，最好能够强调与过去的不同） in the world as a nightmare to kill the people's life, nowadays, more and more nations and individuals have reached on agreement that the peace and development are the primary topic and tendency. The nations or groups, which are bogged down in the conflicts and collisions are encouraged to deal with problems through peaceful channels, such as negotiations and compromises. On balance, the human today are no longer exactly same as the primitive.（楼主用词很不错，我觉得这段层次有点不明显，从物质到精神然后到战争有点突然）

Further, to learn about history isn't only tantamount to break the illusion of the homogeneity. As Bacon, a famous British philosopher, once said, "History makes men wise." Studying the refulgent culture about the nations in history, the patriotism may be enhanced so that citizens are proud of their nations and consolidate together to contribute themselves in the career of developing their nations.（得出这个有些突然） Studying the faults which resulted in serious catastrophes in history, we may warn our daily behaviors and minds and prevent the recurrence of these faults. Studying the merits and virtues of the great in history, we may be stimulated to perfect ourselves and encouraged to realize our dreams.

To sum up, to study history doesn’t only equal to study the irrelevant issues to today's life. It will not only instruct us the fears and foibles in the human nature but also ensure us absorb the advantages from the issues and individuals in the history to make up for our disadvantages in reality
（楼主写得真不错，从用词到构思，因为模考有些地方连贯不够，已经很好了，加油~~~）

pherUID: 192036

嗳，猪头，男女符号都不认识啦，好歹是生物学符号啊。

pherUID: 192036

Over the course of human's【这个's要加吗？】 history, I concede that the basic human nature maintains similarity with what it was in ancient. However, no one will 【又来will了，去掉】deny that the society is developing and we are changing every moment. Although history may serves to break the illusion that we are significantly different from the people in any other time to some extent, to narrow down the functions of learning history into such limited notion is inconvincible.【按照下面的论述，我觉得论点不如改成“历史的benefits是来contrast，有相同的方面，更有不同的方面，最终目的是造福当代。”】

Admittedly, the human nature hasn't changed a lot though the time lapses. For individuals, we love peace and pursue the kindness, truth and beauty. On the other hand, we hate wars and suffer from the fears and foibles. For societies, with retrospect into the history, each empires or nations are impossible to escape from the fate about the budding, prosperity and collapsing ultimately. Additionally, every period is inevitably frustrated with wars and crimes. It illustrates that negative human natures are here to stay, such as greedy, ambition, violence, dishonest, to name a few. Confronting to these homogeneities, we will 【will去掉】have a clear understanding about ourselves and attempt to stabilize our ideal as well as overcome the foibles in our nature.【这段的分析很赞！！很高兴看到这样的话，理性而有条理，先说积极的相同，再由事实推出消极的相同。即使没有事例来佐证，依然显得分析脉络清晰，有说服力！赞！】

Nevertheless, if we are 【were，虚拟语气，注意，你得文章里几乎所有用虚拟语气的地方动词都不对:(】same, in fact, as our ancestors in all aspects as the statement mentions, why we regard our life and notion are more advanced than that in ancient? Actually, we do experience a gradual evolution in many facets. In the material world, we take advantage of many innovations and inventions with the rapid development of science and technology. As well, influenced by the development,【我觉得这句改成“under the influence of development”】 our life style are so modernized that we get rid of the bondage of the nature to some degree. When it comes to the spiritual world, the truth of the nature are unveiled stride by stride so that we become more wise and rational to treat the natural phenomenon than the ancestors, who ascribed these common circumstance to the behavior of the God. With the respect of the art, it is converted to various expression styles to reflect our inner world and satisfy our psychological needs. In addition, notwithstanding the wars are still breaking up in the world as a nightmare to kill the people's life, nowadays, more and more nations and individuals have reached on agreement that the peace and development are the primary topic and tendency. The nations or groups, which are bogged down in the conflicts and collisions are encouraged to deal with problems through peaceful channels, such as negotiations and compromises. On balance, the human today are no longer exactly same as the primitive.【我觉得这段说的有点绕，虽然看上去洋洋洒洒一大段，但是逻辑上，段中各句之间的关系不大。这么一大段的目的仅仅是陈述了一个事实，我觉得用处不大，应该从社会发展，科学发展，人的思维发展的角度来阐述为何人在历史发展中会不同，多写出一些理性的分析。】

Further, to learn about history isn't only tantamount to break the illusion of the homogeneity. As Bacon, a famous British philosopher, once said, "History makes men wise." Studying the refulgent culture about the nations in history, the patriotism may【去掉may】 be enhanced so that citizens are proud of their nations and consolidate together to contribute themselves in the career of developing their nations. Studying the faults which resulted in serious catastrophes in history, we may 【去掉may】warn our daily behaviors and minds and 【and改成to】prevent the recurrence of these faults. Studying the merits and virtues of the great in history, we may be stimulated to perfect ourselves and encouraged to realize our dreams.

To sum up, to study history doesn’t only equal to study the irrelevant issues to today's life. It will 【去掉will】not only instruct us the fears and foibles in the human nature but also ensure us absorb the advantages from the issues and individuals in the history to make up for our disadvantages in reality.

【第二段精彩，其他一般。】

pherUID: 192036

还有一点，we开头的句式要少用，都滥了。用people代替we也挺好

haiyaUID: 187989

221. The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.

Over the course of human's history, I concede that the basic human nature maintains similarity with what it was in ancient. However, no one denies that the society is developing and we are changing every moment. In my opinion, the chief benefit of the study of history is to inform the whole human of the homogeneity as well as heterogeneity through the gradually advancing and various times.

Admittedly, the human nature hasn't changed a lot though the time lapses. For individuals, we love peace and pursue the kindness, truth and beauty. On the other hand, we hate wars and suffer from the fears and foibles. For societies, with retrospect into the history, each empires or nations are impossible to escape from the fate about the budding, prosperity and collapsing ultimately. Additionally, every period is inevitably frustrated with wars and crimes. It illustrates that negative human natures are here to stay, such as greedy, ambition, violence, dishonest, to name a few. Confronting with these homogeneities, we have a clear understanding about ourselves and attempt to stabilize our ideal as well as overcome the foibles in our nature.

Nevertheless, if we were same, in fact, as our ancestors in all aspects as the statement mentions, why we regard our life and notion are more advanced than that in ancient? Actually, we do experience a gradual evolution in many facets. For individuals, people take advantage of many innovations and inventions with the rapid development of science and technology. As well, influenced by the development, their life style are so modernized that they get rid of the bondage of the nature to some degree. For the social group, such as the academic field, the truth of the nature are unveiled stride by stride so that we become more wise and rational to treat the natural phenomenon than the ancestors, who ascribed these common circumstance to the behavior of the God. For the whole world, notwithstanding the wars are still breaking up as a nightmare to kill the people's life, nowadays, it appears a declining tendency and more and more nations and individuals have reached on agreement that the peace and development are the primary topic. The nations or ethnics, which are bogged down in the conflicts and collisions are encouraged to deal with problems through peaceful channels, such as negotiations and compromises. On balance, the human today are no longer exactly same as the primitive.

Further, to learn about history isn't only tantamount to break the illusion of the homogeneity. As Bacon, a famous British philosopher, once said, "History makes men wise." Studying the refulgent culture about the nations in history, the patriotism is enhanced so that citizens are proud of their nations and are willing to contribute themselves in the career of developing their great nations. Studying the faults which resulted in serious catastrophes in history, we warn our daily behaviors and minds and prevent the recurrence of these faults. Studying the merits and virtues of the great in history, we are stimulated to perfect ourselves and encouraged to realize our dreams.

To sum up, history is like a mirror. Looking in the mirror, we see the foibles in the human nature so that we are able to erase it. Looking in the mirror, we also know the distinguished changes as time goes by. Thanks to these homogeneities and heterogeneities, they give us the confidence and courage, which propel us to nerve ourselves to advance.


  改好了。：）在说明自己的想法之前，首先要感谢nickaaronlee 和九月gg（不好意思啊，我一直默认是女生爱打乒乓，没有看符号），还有亲爱的pher。：）

1。开头，我把最后一句话按照pher的意见改写了。感觉这样是不错。
2。第二段基本没改动。
3。第三段自己后来看也觉得乱了，特别是spiritual的部分。但是pher给的三个领域我觉得并不是完全并列的三个领域，而且这样一动就要大改了。我懒。。。。所以把原先那一句art的话去掉。按照个人--》社会团体--》全世界 组成递进关系来支持ts.
关于九月对于这段的疑问，我改的时候想了想。我这段是针对“人类有改变是个illusion”来反驳的。因为题目是个that的重句。所以这个引号句子里的关系从ets说吃成立的。我不同意，事实并不是这样的。所以写了第二段。
4。第三段，九月啊。我实在不知从哪里切入来加例子进去。感觉插在里面把格式破坏了。而且一句陈述加个例子在这里显的不舒服。另外这篇文章字数我看了一下，在550左右。正常考试的时候，我觉得这个长度挺好的。今天我又好罗嗦的写了篇700+还超了时间。。正常考试我觉得字数少于600比较合适，对于我来说。
5结尾重新写了一把， 因为感觉原来的结尾太平了。不过新写的也不是特别满意。。想不出来了。

louchen1984UID: 172975

文章拜读了～～限时写成这样很厉害了～～
不过有个疑问：history 和study of history 是回事么？haiya好像通篇写的都是history吧？
这个问题我自己写的时候也很困惑

pherUID: 192036

有道理的，不过问题应该不大，但是结尾里面应该改为study of history

DriverEntryUID: 143979

I will read it later. Wait a minute.

DriverEntryUID: 143979

我觉得题目包含2个假设，一个是：古代和现代的人基本是相同的。
第2个：有些人认为古代和现代的人有很大不同。
根据这2个假设，题目认为，研究历史的好处就是纠正第2个假设提到的那些人的错误观念。

如果你同意题目，那么就把这2方面再说下酒可以了。

楼主是不同意的观点。
先让步一下，说有些地方还是类似的。
然后反驳，说明很多地方还是不一样，进步了。
最后再说，研究历史的好处是可以使人进步！

用词上偶尔不是很准，问题不大。

我觉得有几个地方可以改进下：
1)        主题句。在第一段里，楼主说研究历史就是为了看出人们在发展中的相同与不同。那么看出这些以后呢？就完了么？看出这些有什么用处呢？我觉得还是把最后一段总结的那几句作为中心比较好。或者用培根的那句。历史让人聪明。这样更清楚。而且严格说，找人们的相同和不同和“历史使人进步” 还是不太一样的。我理解

2)        反驳的那一段，也就是NEVERTHELESS这段。反驳的好像不太好。题目的着眼点是人。古代人和现代人是不是有很大不同。但是楼主论述的好像和人比较少，大部分是社会方面的。有些不够恰当
总的来说还可以。加油！

PS：前面的讨论我没仔细看，见谅

haiyaUID: 187989

谢谢大家

to louchen1984
我觉得history是个客观的fact, 有好处是因为学习了才会得到啊。history本身感觉是中性的东西。


to DriverEntry
1.我的b2和b1是并列关系，不是反驳。
2。知道历史的最大好处是让我们在比较中看到不同和相同。然后拿这写不同和相同怎么办，我觉得是间接的历史好处。
所以我在开头是引下面两段。 如果再写他们各自的好处放在第一段，我的语言功底会把开头弄得太臃肿。另外针对原题，我增加了一个heterogeneity的概念作为补充。
3。社会和群体不是人组成的吗？如果单个人来比较，如何体现是大趋势的改变？整体人类的改变？我觉得如果单纯从个人上来分析，并不恰当。
4。谢谢你的回复，我的意见如上：）