argument214 30分钟，请帮忙改改。不知道就两个bodies够吗才400字:低级错误已修正

dragonflyljUID: 185331

In each city in the region of Treehaven, the majority of the money spent on government-run public school education comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the value they place on public education. For example, Parson City typically budgets twice as much money per year as Blue City does for its public schools- even though both cities have about the same number of residents. It seems clear, therefore, that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents.
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The arguer's conclusion is misleading, that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents, because the arguer fails to provide convincing evidences and commits some logical fallacy in his statement.

To begin with, the arguer does not provide the detail description on the public schools in both cities. What is the scale of public schools in Parson City or in Blue City? What is the total money amount that public schools need to spend each year? What is the fiscal statement of each public school in both city, are some of them deficit? Without sufficient information, the arguer cannot even prove the educational condition in Parson City is better than is the condition in Blue City, let along criticizing on the comparison between the cares of both cities' residents, for if the Blue City's public schools are sufficient funded, there is no need to pay as much budget as Parson City does.

Further, granted that, the condition of most public schools in Parson City is better than that in Blue City, the arguer fails to provide direct evidence. The arguer only gives a superficial fact, that the populations of both cities are the same and the budget of Parson City is twice as much as Blue City pays on the public schools. However, what is the general income of the residents? It might be true that the residents of Parson City are mostly working in the corporations because Parson City is prosperous for its business, while the residents of Blue City are normal workers, therefore even the Blue City budgets 50 percent on the public schools, the money amount cannot exceed the money that amounts to Parson City's 10 percent general taxes. Thus, maybe the residents in the Blue City are most zealous in the public education in the region of Treehaven, but their ardors are simply underplayed or even aspersed by arguer's unfair observation.

In sum, the arguer would provide more detail materials to prove his conclusion directly, such as a general survey in both cities to reflect the public intentions of the payment of budget and specified comparisons of the situation of public schools, the income of the citizens and any other important statistic of both cities. Otherwise, the arguer might be flagrant in the Blue City for his ungrounded assertion.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

写上你的题目吧

dragonflyljUID: 185331

捞一下。。。。大哥大姐们。。。给看看字数和段数这么少，到底有没有关系

dragonflyljUID: 185331

再捞一下。。。。。。。。。。。。。。谁看看啦。。拜托

PsychocandyUID: 171159

我来拍

PsychocandyUID: 171159

In each city in the region of Treehaven, the majority of the money spent on government-run public school education comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the value they place on public education. For example, Parson City typically budgets twice as much money per year as Blue City does for its public schools- even though both cities have about the same number of residents. It seems clear, therefore, that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents.
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The arguer's conclusion is misleading, that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents, because the arguer fails to provide convincing evidences and commits some logical fallacy in his statement.

To begin with, the arguer does not provide the detail description on the public schools in both cities. What is the scale of public schools in Parson City or in Blue City? What is the total money amount(MONEY AMOUNT看着别扭啊,反正我习惯AMOUNT OF MONEY) that public schools need to spend each year? What is the fiscal statement(STATEMENT不对,SITUATION可以) of each(EVERY或者EACH OF THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS) public school in both city, are some of them deficit? Without sufficient information, the arguer cannot even prove the educational condition in Parson City is better than is the condition in Blue City, let along criticizing on the comparison between the cares of both cities' residents, for if the Blue City's public schools are sufficient funded, there is no need to pay as much budget as Parson City does.

Further, granted that, the condition of most public schools in Parson City is better than that in Blue City, the arguer fails to provide direct evidence. The arguer only gives a superficial fact, that the populations of both cities are the same and the budget of Parson City is twice as much as Blue City pays on the public schools. However, what (HOW MUCH)is the general income （我感觉AVERAGE INCOME比GENERAL好）of the residents? It might be true that the residents of Parson City are mostly working in the corporations (IN LARGE COMPANIES感觉比较好)because Parson City is prosperous for its business, while the residents of Blue City are normal (normal不好,是正常的意思,COMMON还可以)workers, therefore even the Blue City budgets 50 percent on the public schools, the money amount cannot (MAY NOT比较好,毕竟也是猜测,CANNOT太狠了)exceed the money that amounts to Parson City's 10 percent general taxes改成10 PERCENT OF PARSON CITY’S GENERAL TAXES比较好. Thus, maybe the residents in the Blue City are most zealous in the public education in the region of Treehaven, but their ardors are simply underplayed or even aspersed by arguer's unfair observation.

In sum, the arguer would (SHOULD)provide more detail materials(我感觉DETAILED好) to prove his conclusion directly, such as a general survey in both cities to reflect the public intentions of the payment of budget and specified comparisons of the situation of public schools, the income of the citizens and any other important statistic of both cities. Otherwise, the arguer might be flagrant in the Blue City for his ungrounded assertion.


不用太长，重要的都写到了就行了，也可以节省时间。

dragonflyljUID: 185331

en 谢谢，的确很多地方用语还要斟酌：）那个money amount我是以前背过那个新东方推荐的几篇文章，里面这么写的。