argument147 潜了n天.....狂超时

ryanqUID: 154025

Argument147
------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
------正文------
This editorial concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are probably to increase dramatically in the next few months. The editorial suffers from several problems, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the survey that this editorial bases on fails to convince me for the number of players surveyed is not mentioned. Perhaps, the amount of players involved in the investigation is not enough. It is possible that not all players like to play lifelike-graphics game. Thus, lacking reliable evidence of all player's preference to lifelike graphics, it is difficult to accept the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are going to increase.

Secondly, even if the lifelike graphics is the favorite style among the whole video players, there is no guarantee that people 10 to 25 years old can buy Whirlwind's products. For example, lifelike graphics are a subjective concept. Though the Whirlwind engineers consider their video games are life like enough, it does not consequently mean players also think so. In addition, it is very likely just a little number of gamers process the up-to-date computers required by lifelike graphics. In terms of good-performance computers' price, the procession rate of such computer is an important factor deserved to be considered. What's more, the time of players should also be accounted in. Gamers especially between 10 to 25 years old may have no time to play these wonderful games due to the heavy load of study or work. Without involving and ruling out these and other factors, the author cannot justifiably conclude that the raise of sales.

Finally, when it comes to the arguer's conclusion, it is groundless to predict Whirlwind's significant increase in sales. There are several other factors determining the sales beyond games' popularity. Such as the video game's packaging, services after sales, Whirlwind's main competitors' game style and current economy situation. These facts should be completely considered especially in the background of sales decline in the past two years.

To sum up, the prediction advanced by the arguer does not stand on the ground since evidences and survey provided are far from credible. More information should be collected along with a more logical reasoning to make this editorial persuasive and feasible.

冥界星灿UID: 184746

好久不见^_^

Argument147
------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
------正文------
This editorial concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are probably to increase dramatically in the next few months. The editorial suffers from several problems, which render it unconvincing as it stands.最后一句模板太重了

First of all, the survey that this editorial bases on fails to convince me for the number of players surveyed is not mentioned. Perhaps, the amount of players involved in the investigation is not enough. It is possible that not all players like to play lifelike-graphics game. Thus, lacking reliable evidence of all player's preference to lifelike graphics, it is difficult to accept the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are going to increase.

Secondly, even if the lifelike graphics is the favorite style among the whole video players, there is no guarantee that people 10 to 25 years old can buy Whirlwind's products. For example, lifelike graphics are a subjective concept. Though the Whirlwind engineers consider their video games are life like enough, it does not consequently mean players also think so. In addition, it is very likely just a little number of gamers processpossess? the up-to-date computers required by lifelike graphics. In terms of good-performance computers' price, the procession rate of such computer is an important factor deserved to be considered. What's more, the time of playersthe times of players? should also be accounted in. Gamers especially between 10 to 25 years old may have no time to play these wonderful games due to the heavy load of study or work. Without involving and ruling out these and other factors, the author cannot justifiably conclude that the raise of sales.感觉论述不是很清楚。说问题时要一句话说实。
你可以说10－25岁人喜欢不代表会买，如他们可能时间有限。
不要说10－25岁人不会买，因为要考虑时间问题，因为有可能要写很多作业——，
换一下语序。要不感觉思路绕，又罗嗦，楼主考虑

Finally, when it comes to the arguer's conclusion, it is groundless to predict Whirlwind's significant increase in sales. There are several other factors determining the sales beyond games' popularity. Such as the video game's packaging, services after sales, Whirlwind's main competitors' game style and current economy situation. These facts should be completely considered especially in the background of sales decline in the past two years.

To sum up, the prediction advanced by the arguer does not stand on the ground since evidences and survey provided are far from credible. More information should be collected along with a more logical reasoning to make this editorial persuasive and feasible.

ryanqUID: 154025

最初由 冥界星灿 发布
[B]好久不见^_^

Argument147
------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have ..

以下省略...... [/B]

很多人的时间:the times of the players ?
time可数吗？



thx,  ;)   剩下的都接受。sigh,一模考，紧张得要命