Issue16 写的时候基本没有停顿，请大家批改。

CodeXUID: 194093

[B]"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."[/B]

Different points of view on the contribution of a particular individual would come out under different backgrounds and social settings. Changes in value system and beliefs over time are likely bring entirely opposite evaluations. Whille the achievement of some of the great people are conspicuous and well-acknowledged of the society of their age, there are still many talented people who work far away from the spot lights towards some long-term goals of which current time is not conscious. We should give equal respect and acknowledge to these people in the encouragement and support of their work.

Many great people have seized the opportunity to let the whole wide world know their enormous success and thus have gained respects and sponsorship that they desire from the society. They are the heroes and idols of our time and no doubt they are lucky to live in today’s world. With the development of information technology and intense competition in media industry, their stories could be broadcast to everyone on this planet and often become legends for ordinary people to admire. Movie stars and pop singers, CEOs of giant corporations, venture captalists and many others all live under the spot lights to the public. For example, world-class movie stars could show his/her talents in every movie he participates. Later on, the movie copies would be shown in many cinemas and the DVD copies would be played in millions of homes all around the world. People would not have to wait until the actor’s passing away to comment on his performance. Immediately would critics and reviews come after the movie’s release. The talents of the actors would be instantly acknowledged.

However, there are certain realms, such as natural science and art, in which the importance of people’s work could be recognized in a short period of time. A famous example is the well-known Dutch impressionism painter, Van Gough. No a single piece by the poor painter has been sold out to the public during his life time, with the exception that his brother once paid for two paintings in an attempt to give him money to improve his finacial conditions. Extreme poverty and insanity has driven this genious painter to end his life with his own hands at the very early stage of his life. However, it was not until about 20 years after his death did people realize the brilliance of this painter and start to collect his paintings. The prices of his master pieces went up to an unbelievable level.

Anyway, it is not enough to realize the limitation we have to recognize the significant achievement of those people behind the scene. It is more important to call on our society to have a profound and long-term concerned vision in evaluating and encouraging these talented but less-known people. The neglectence of the significance of their work and the failure to sponsor them in time would hinder them from greater contribution to the society and merely waste their talents which are precious to contemporaries. Take the fundamental research of theoritical physics as an example. The potential importance of their work is far beyond the scope of conventional people. These scientists work to reveal the basic principles of elementary particles that compose every subtance in our world, which is vital to to the discovery of some already popular and useful innovations such as nano-technology. Every piece of their work adds one single block to the entire building that could be finally used to improve our daily life. However, without sufficient support and acknowledgement, the foundation of the whole building would be unstable and we would possibly never see the day of widely-spread applications of these researches.

In conclusion, many genious people in this world have achieved significant successes, however, only a few of which are lucky enough to be acknowledged. We should also focus on the long-term effects in assessing one’s work so that adequate support would be provided to make the best use of their abilities for the wellfare of the whole society.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

占座.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

郁闷死了,刚才掉了,全没了.....

首先我觉得你的语言很流畅 向你学习 希望能看到你给别人修改作文.
这个题目似乎要我们讨论到底一个人的成就到底能被谁评价,不是被谁评价,我觉得说法变一下比较好.最后一段作为延伸是很好的 但是重点还是在于分析能不能而不是有没有. 个人的荒唐言,请笑纳.

imongUID: 140258

文笔果然流畅 提几个问题

Different points of view on the contribution of a particular individual would come out under different backgrounds and social settings. Changes in value system and beliefs over time are likely bring entirely opposite evaluations. Whille the achievement of some of the great people are conspicuous and well-acknowledged of（by？） the society of their age, there are still many talented people who work far away from the spot lights towards some long-term goals of which current time is not conscious.（很娴熟） We should give equal respect and acknowledge to these people in the encouragement and support of their work.（这句话是不是就多余了 我看到这里困惑了半天）

Many great people have seized the opportunity to let the whole wide world know their enormous success and thus have gained respects and sponsorship that they desire from the society. They are the heroes and idols of our time and no doubt they are lucky to live in today’s world. With the development of information technology and intense competition in media industry, their stories could be broadcast （-ed？）to everyone on this planet and often become legends for ordinary people to admire. Movie stars and pop singers, CEOs of giant corporations, venture captalists and many others all live under the spot lights to the public. For example, world-class movie stars could show his/her talents in every movie he participates. Later on, the movie copies would be shown in many cinemas and the DVD copies would be played in millions of homes all around the world. People would not have to wait until the actor’s passing away to comment on his performance. Immediately would critics and reviews come after the movie’s release. The talents of the actors would be instantly acknowledged.（还是要说很娴熟 TS在最后出来 而正好是水到渠成 没有一定的功底估计不敢这么写的 呵呵）

However, there are certain realms, such as natural science and art, in which the importance of people’s work could be （could be？好像这里 本要表达的意思是需要"一定的时间"吧。）recognized in a short period of time. A famous example is the well-known Dutch impressionism painter, Van Gough. No（Not） a single piece by the poor painter has been sold out to the public during his life time, with the （可以加个only？）exception that his brother once paid for two paintings in an attempt to give him money to improve his finacial conditions. Extreme poverty and insanity has driven this genious painter to end his life with his own hands at the very early stage of his life. However, it was not until about 20 years after his death did people realize the brilliance of this painter and start to collect his paintings. The prices of his master pieces went up to an unbelievable level.（was unbelievably high.）

Anyway,（太随意的词） it is not enough to realize the limitation we have to recognize the significant achievement of those people behind the scene. It is more important to call on our society to have a profound and long-term concerned vision in evaluating and encouraging these talented but less-known people. The neglectence of the significance of their work and the failure to sponsor them in time would hinder them from greater contribution to the society and merely waste their talents which are precious to contemporaries. Take the fundamental research of theoritical physics as an example. The potential importance of their work is far beyond the scope of conventional people. These scientists work to reveal the basic principles of elementary particles that compose every subtance in our world, which is vital to to the discovery of some already popular and useful innovations such as nano-technology. Every piece of their work adds one single block to the entire building that could be finally used to improve our daily life. However, without sufficient support and acknowledgement, the foundation of the whole building would be unstable and we would possibly never see the day of widely-spread applications of these researches.
第三段整整一段的补充说明 难怪开头有那句话。我还是认为这部分内容就比较离题了。b1和b2还是比较正点的，但是你所提的we should这段，和judging the greatness有关吗？

In conclusion, many genious people in this world have achieved significant successes, however, only a few of which are lucky enough to be acknowledged. We should also focus on the long-term effects in assessing one’s work so that adequate support would be provided to make the best use of their abilities for the wellfare of the whole society.

果然是流畅的文章 好久没看到过这样的文笔了 过瘾
本来想评个精华 看到后面 还是觉得文章上有问题 再改过？

表达能力一流 掌握好对题目的response的话 结果就必然极其优秀啦！

期待后续习作呢！

imongUID: 140258

btw 你发的题号错了

这道题应该是issue36而不是16

参见精华区里的帖子 里面有说明本版通用的题号顺序的

CodeXUID: 194093

非常感谢二位，小弟第一次发文如此详尽的拍砖，bow

我确实感到目前主要的问题在于如何列好分论点，好像自己立场总有些问题:(。因为怕到后来时间来不及，每次都急匆匆的想了几个然后马上写，弊端是显而易见的。25号就考了，但愿还来得及

承蒙斑竹提携，无奈这几天实在时间太紧，等马上考完了我会尽绵薄之力多改改别人文章的。就怕水平不够啦