Argument 174 写的不好恳请指点（谢谢）

xueerUID: 196304

The author recommends in the argument that keeping the college all-female will improve students' morale and obtain financial support from the alumni. The author cites that most voting faculties prefer coeducation. To support the claim the author provide evidence that 80% students and more than half of the alumni who responded to the survey opposed coeducation. A careful examination of the justification would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.
  

  In the first place, the survey that 80% students and more than half of the alumni responding to the survey dislike enrolling men can lend little support to the claim that keeping the college all-female will improve students' morale and obtain financial support from the alumni. However, the data which the conclusion is based on is unconvincing, because it only includes people who answered to the survey. It is fairly possible that the number of the responded is so small that it cannot represent all the students in the school and all the alumni. In addition, there is no evidence indicating that alumni who opposed to the coeducation are the ones who provide support for the school financially. Without ruling out such possibilities, the conclusion is unconvincing.


  Secondly, a major assumption underlying the line is that alumni would be convinced to keep supporting the college financially if the all-female tradition is preserved. Although the attitude of the alumni is opposing the change, it does not indicate that they would not give their home school support after its enrolling the boy students.  Other than the tradition, there are more factors affecting the finance. Perhaps she has a big treasure, and she will give a donation to Grove College. Or perhaps, the graduated students from the college always feels a responsibility for their mother-school which has give them a lot in the past that they will seize every chance to give it a financial support.


    Finally, there is no convincing relationship between the morale and the change in the tradition. Especially considering that the new students would bring new opinion, new ways of life, and the circumstance students living in would be in accord with the society. In contrast, keeping the tradition would improve the morale lacks credibility, because without considering the faculty's advice the morale of teachers in the college can be affected. The morale of them will inevitably influence that of students.
   

    In summary, lacking enough efficient evidence, the conclusion drawn is groundless. To future support the conclusion the author has to provide convincing evidence to indicate students and alumni oppose the suggestion. Also, the claim would be better argued, if a casual relationship between students’ morale and the enrolling of men and between finance obtained from the alumni and the enrolling.

xueerUID: 196304

紧张了忘贴题目了
174The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.

"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially."

goasupleaseUID: 195799

The author recommends in the argument that keeping the college all-female will improve students' morale and obtain financial support from the alumni. The author cites that most voting faculties prefer coeducation. To support the claim the author provides evidence that 80% students and more than half of the alumni who responded to the survey opposed coeducation. A careful examination of the justification would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.


In the first place, the survey which indicatesthat 80% students and more than half of the alumni responding to the survey 重复了,不要dislike enrolling men can lend little support to the claim that keeping the college all-female will improve students' morale and obtain financial support from the alumni. However, 转折意义不明确the data which the conclusion is based on is unconvincing, because it only includes people who answered to the survey. It is fairly possible that the number of the responded is so small that it cannot represent all the students in the school and all the alumni. In addition, there is no evidence indicating that alumni who opposed to the coeducation are the ones who provide support for the school financially. Without ruling out such possibilities, the conclusion is unconvincing.


Secondly, a major assumption underlying the line is that alumni would be convinced to keep supporting the college financially if the all-female tradition is preserved. Although the attitude of the alumni is opposing the change, it does not indicate that they would not give their home school 母校的说法有点怪support after its enrolling the boy students. Other than the tradition, there are more factors affecting the finance. Perhaps she has a big treasure, and she will give a donation to Grove College. Or perhaps, the graduated students from the college always feels a responsibility for their mother-school which has give them a lot in the past that they will seize every chance to give it a financial support.
这个例子举得有点怪,嘻嘻

Finally, there is no convincing relationship between the morale and the change in the tradition. Especially considering that the new students would bring new opinion, new ways of life, and the circumstance students living in would be in accord with the society. In contrast, keeping the tradition would improve the morale lacks credibility, because without considering the faculty's advice the morale of teachers in the college can be affected. The morale of them will inevitably influence that of students.


In summary, lacking enough efficient evidence不说efficient罢evidence, the conclusion drawndrawn多余了 is groundless. To futurefurther support the conclusion the author has to provide convincing evidence to indicate students and alumni oppose the suggestion. Also, the claim would be better argued, if a casual relationship between students’ morale and the enrolling of men and between finance obtained from the alumni and the enrolling.

错误找的都对,但是好像连贯性稍弱一点啦
语言也稍显稚嫩
大家一起努力，嘻嘻