issue203 重出江湖之四

冥界星灿UID: 184746

203"The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines."

提纲：
BODY1、表面上，英雄是代表一个社会的特征
BODY2、仔细分析，上述想法大错特错
BODY3、实际上，英雄拥有的特征是别整个人类社会共同认可的，而不是某一个社会特有的特征

According to the statements, it is feasible to observe a society by its heroes and heroines. Many evidences in reality seem to attest to the proposition at ease. Taking scrutiny of these circumstances, however, we find that although the superficial phenomena of the proofs bolster the stated points, their qualities actually suggest that its heroes and its heroines cannot represent a society's character.

At the first glance, heroes and heroines do represent the most valuable characters one society holds. Two examples bolster the assertion involves the fields of commercial and science. Bill Gates, as a hero in commercial, is regarded by people for his cuteness about the market, the interest about the science, and his mercy against the people in poverty. And, Albert Einstein, admired by the community for his carelessness about reputation and sage in physics. One can cite as many examples as one can when concerning the representation of heroes and heroines in a society they live.

Take a close analysis to the evidence, however, we find the explanation for heroes' and heroines' receiving admire is not the character adored by his or her society, but fundamental characters rewarded by human beings thousands of years. Returning to the two examples mentioned above, the reasons for which both Bill Gates and Albert Einstein are admired are not only respected by the American Society, but the whole world even in the Middle East and throughout the history of human beings even in middle age Europe. Two cases in point are the admiration to the brilliant and merciful businessmen in Middle East as well as the reputation gained by Isaac Newton who almost have the same characters with Albert Einstein. Therefore, the reason for the fact that heroes and heroines receive the reputations is not their behaviors are adored by their own society but the primary characters adored by human beings.

After all, the principle factor the heroes and heroines have is their compactness with human moral system. Indeed, a myriad of facts proved this assertion. Consider, for example, Helen Keller, blind and deaf, gained her achievement in literature after going over great odds and admired by not only American societies but the whole world. And Martin Luther King, the outstanding leader of the civil rights movement, received his reputation from people around the earth no matter their nations and sexualities. Wolfgang Mozart, a brilliant composer, is the hero of his society for his talent and indignity. Simply put, the heroes and heroines chose by a society is the representation of the kindness, talent, humanity and so forth. Consequently, it is almost impossible to understand the characters of a society by observe its heroes or its heroines. Through observing its heroes or its heroines, we always detect characters of the whole society but not ones of certain society.

From the reasons mentioned above, it is presumptuous to judge a society by the heroes and heroines it holds. The heroes and heroines chose by a society is most likely ones who have the characters adored by the whole human society but not the special characters admired by certain society.

LSDUID: 157855

203"The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines."

提纲：
BODY1、表面上，英雄是代表一个社会的特征
BODY2、仔细分析，上述想法大错特错
BODY3、实际上，英雄拥有的特征是别整个人类社会共同认可的，而不是某一个社会特有的特征

According to the statements, it is feasible to observe a society by its heroes and heroines. Many evidences[ in reality去掉] seem to attest to the proposition at ease. Taking[take,后面用了连词了，这是两个句子] scrutiny of these circumstances, however, we find that although the superficial phenomena of the proofs bolster the stated points, their qualities actually suggest that its heroes and [its去掉] heroines cannot represent a society's character. [开头说明了立场，但是没有明确地说明原因，而且显得有些罗嗦]

[At the first glance, heroes and heroines do represent the most valuable characters one[a] society holds.][还是论坛上很多人都提到的老问题，ts后没有引子，直接就举例子了，最好有个引子，显得更自然些。] Two examples bolster the assertion involves the fields of commercial and science. Bill Gates, as a hero in commercial, is regarded by people for his cuteness about the market, the interest about the science, and his mercy against the people in poverty. And, Albert Einstein, admired by the community for his carelessness about reputation and sage in physics. One can cite as many examples as one can when concerning the representation of heroes and heroines in a society they live.[这段的论述和你的中心有点远哦，你要表达的是否定的观点啊——从你第一段来看][我想如果你要写一段让步的化最好在第一段有一个交待，否则就跑了]

[Take a close analysis to the evidence, however, we find the explanation for heroes' and heroines' receiving admire is not the character adored by his or her society, but fundamental characters rewarded by human beings thousands of years.][这个中心句好长啊，意思有点不明确，最好用短句，追求言简意赅] Returning to the two examples mentioned above, the reasons for which both Bill Gates and Albert Einstein [are去掉] admired are not only respected by the American Society, but the whole world even in the Middle East and throughout the history of human beings even in middle age Europe. Two cases in point are the admiration[换换，重复了] to the brilliant and merciful businessmen in Middle East as well as the reputation gained by Isaac Newton who almost have the same characters with Albert Einstein. Therefore, the reason for the fact that heroes and heroines receive the reputations is not their behaviors are adored by their own society but the primary characters adored by human beings. [我觉得应该再强调的分析一下他们不是代表某个社会的特征，也就是再结合题目深入讨论一下，可能会更好]

[After all, the principle factor the heroes and heroines have is their compactness with human moral system.] Indeed, a myriad of facts proved this assertion. Consider, for example, Helen Keller, blind and deaf, gained her achievement in literature after going over great odds and admired by not only American societies but the whole world. And Martin Luther King, the outstanding leader of the civil rights movement, received his reputation from people around the earth no matter their nations and sexualities. Wolfgang Mozart, a brilliant composer, is the hero of his society for his talent and indignity. Simply put, the heroes and heroines chose by a society is the representation of the kindness, talent, humanity and so forth. Consequently, it is almost impossible to understand the characters of a society by observe its heroes or its heroines. [Through observing its heroes or its heroines, we always detect characters of the whole society but not ones of certain society.仔细看一下你这句话和上一段的意思重复了阿]

From the reasons mentioned above, it is presumptuous to judge a society by the heroes and heroines it holds. The heroes and heroines chose by a society is most likely ones who have the characters adored by the whole human society but not the special characters admired by certain society.
[继续努力！！]

冥界星灿UID: 184746

真是麻烦LSD了，自己考完了还在帮我改作文，感动ing——

教诲都仔细看了，句句切中要害，高手就是不一样啊！很有帮助，这些问题我考场上真是需要注意呢。

非常感谢！