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[i习作temp] issue 160 政治类,必回改!!! [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-2-24 00:08:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
从2005年1月23日20时56分到2005年1月23日22时110分
------题目------
The most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives. Any leader who is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion will accomplish little.
------正文------
观点:既要坚持一些自己的观点又要适当听取一些大众的意见
1,        坚持自己的观点可以帮助领导人得到人们的拥护
2,        坚持自己的观点可以使领导人更容易获得成功
3,        但是这并不意味着可以不理会群众的意见,毕竟他们的权利或成功是大众给予的。
There is much controversy about the question whether the leader should commit to their certain rigid principles and objectives. In my point view, the effective leader, generally defined, at least in our society, as that which achieves power and exert the power effectively, should adhere to their certain objective and principles appropriately, and consider the public opinions at the same time. Now I will demonstrate my opinions.

Firstly, the adherence to certain object and principle can help the leader gain the support of the public. In my opinion , the rigid adherence may grant the leader a confidence and resolution, maybe generally considered as a character of the charismas , which help he or she attract more proponents successfully. Contrarily, the capricious leader , who in order to gain public support always change their principle, will lose support as a result. Consider that if Martin Luther KIng gave up his dream: one day , people in the world may not be recognize through his color but through the real content,  in the Civil Right commitment . How can he get the holding up of the black people and the whole society, which is same to Gandhi, the great leader of India's Independent. Without resolute purpose and confidence to nonviolent tactic, Gandhi may discard his civil disobedience and of course lose the support of the public who appeals to peace but no violent protest.

The commitment to principles and objectives can not only help the effective leader achieve the leadership but also make wield power effectively, and gain success as a result. Holding certain principle and objective, the leader may be more insightful than the normal people and be more clear  about what he or she will do next ,why he or she will do like that, especially in the hard condition when he or she  was opposed by  some popular opinions. For example, Roosevelt, the 32nd President of the United State, had never discarded his domestic program, known as the New Deal, which also granted him chance to save American from the economic crisis effectively.

While, it can be agreed with that the commitment is pivotal to an effective leader. However, it dose not mean that the leader can ignore the popular opinion and refuse to change. When the leader is trying to gain the leadership and exert their power, they should not forget the facet that the power and the success are granted by the masses, so there is no reason to discard the popular opinion. What is more, ignoring the public opinion completely and commit to some idea inappropriately may make the leaders lose their success that they have been gotten before. One of the examples is the story of Henry Ford. The famous American auto manufacturer, had ever founded the Ford Auto Company and produced Type T automobile, but because of his adherence to the old type of the automation and ignorance to the consumers' complains that the old type is too load and too slow, his factory fell to hard time. It can be seen that the popular opinion should never be discarded, although some principles and objectives should be committed.

In sum, the masses who do not want to be ignored will always call for an effective leader who owns enough resolution and confidence to adhere to his or her certain objectives or manners in order to fulfill the public's wishes. So as the effective leader, some idea of himself must be committed and meanwhile some opinions of the public should be considered.
我的目标:永不止步!
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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

沙发
发表于 2005-2-24 12:40:07 |只看该作者
重返寄托

三十而立 战战兢兢
如临深渊 如履薄冰

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板凳
发表于 2005-2-24 14:41:11 |只看该作者
请大家帮忙看一下这样些有没有跑题之嫌??
我的目标:永不止步!

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Cancer巨蟹座 荣誉版主 QQ联合登录

地板
发表于 2005-2-24 16:02:51 |只看该作者
第一段是用的模版吧,不过比较实用
In my opinion , the rigid adherence may grant the leader a confidence and resolution, maybe generally considered as a character of the charismas , which help he or she (这里直接说hej就可以了)attract more proponents successfully.

In sum, the masses who do not want to be ignored will always call for an effective leader who owns enough resolution and confidence to adhere to his or her certain objectives or manners in order to fulfill the public's wishes.这句话太长了,建议分开
其它感觉不错,用了很多生词,不知是不是有意的

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发表于 2005-2-24 17:03:19 |只看该作者
如果在第三段开头加入Furthermore,我感觉文章就会显得更有层次感。后面的结构写的真好。
学习ing

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发表于 2005-2-24 17:35:37 |只看该作者
刚刚在看imong的特训,怎么看这个题目都像是is , 题目在陈述一个事实:坚持是不是essential
qulity of the effective leader,而我写的是领导人应该commit to,是不是有跑题呢?请各位高手指点/
我的目标:永不止步!

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发表于 2005-2-24 18:24:50 |只看该作者
我觉得还好吧,毕竟还是针对这个题目提出观点,应该不算走题

btw:你的词汇确实用的不错,学习ing

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发表于 2005-2-24 19:06:56 |只看该作者
我觉得没有泡题,但是如果能谈一下easily influenced的坏处,或者往这个方向稍微谈上几句可能更好。
你的例子和语言都挺好的,我就不能运用到这个程度,总是“提笔忘字”,例子知道得也很少,我的文章通常都是论述,所以显得淡薄,呵呵,得向你学习呀[


QUOTE]最初由 枫丹 发布
[B]请大家帮忙看一下这样些有没有跑题之嫌?? [/B][/QUOTE]

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发表于 2005-2-24 19:39:24 |只看该作者
There is much controversy about the question whether the leader should commit to their certain rigid principles and objectives. In my point ofview, the effective leader, generally defined, at least in our society, as that which achieves power and exert the power effectively,3个插入语,太过了吧;也没什么必要,像at least in our society这种套话实在多余 should adhere to their certain objective and principles appropriately, and consider the public opinions at the same time. Now I will demonstrate my opinions.

Firstly, the adherence to certain object and principle can help the leader gain the support of the public. In my opinion , the rigid adherence may grant the leader a confidence and resolution, maybemay be generally considered as a character of the charismas , which help he or she attract more proponents successfully. Contrarily, the capricious leader , who in order to gain public support always change their principle, will lose support as a result. Consider that if Martin Luther KIng gave up his dream: one day , people in the world may not be recognize through his color but through the real content, in the Civil Right commitment . How can he get the holding up of the black people and the whole society, which is same to Gandhi, the great leader of India's Independent. Without resolute purpose and confidence to nonviolent tactic, Gandhi may discard his civil disobedience and of course lose the support of the public who appeals to peace but no violent protest. 例子不错,也论证了

The commitment to principles and objectives can not only help the effective leader achieve the leadership but also make wield power effectively, and gain success as a result. Holding certain principle and objective, the leader may be more insightful than the normal people and be more clear about what he or she will do next ,why he or she will do like that, especially in the hard condition when he or she was opposed by some popular opinions.这一句真的有说服力么?这其实是一种英雄主义的看法,美国人的主流思维是这种么?如果是确实挺有说服力,如果不是这一段就很weak了。我的印象中应该不是的 For example, Roosevelt, the 32nd President of the United StateStates, had never discarded his domestic program, known as the New Deal, which also granted him chance to save American from the economic crisis effectively.

While, it can be agreed with that the commitment is pivotal to an effective leader. However, it dose not mean that the leader can ignore the popular opinion and refuse to change. When the leader is trying to gain the leadership and exert their power, they should not forget the facet that the power and the success are granted by the masses, so there is no reason to discard the popular opinion. What is more, ignoring the public opinion completely and commit to some idea inappropriately may make the leaders lose their success that they have been gotten before. One of the examples is the story of Henry Ford. The famous American auto manufacturer, had ever founded the Ford Auto Company and produced Type T automobile, but because of his adherence to the old type of the automation and ignorance to the consumers' complains that the old type is too load and too slow, his factory fell to hard time. It can be seen that the popular opinion should never be discarded, although some principles and objectives should be committed.

In sum, the masses who do not want to be ignored will always call for an effective leader who owns enough resolution and confidence to adhere to his or her certain objectives or manners in order to fulfill the public's wishes. So as the effective leader, some idea of himself must be committed and meanwhile some opinions of the public should be considered.
青海长云暗雪山
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不破楼兰终不还

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发表于 2005-2-25 13:43:15 |只看该作者
最初由 flyfish9 发布
[B]There is much controversy about the question whether the leader should commit to their certain rigid principles and objectives. In my point of[/colo..

以下省略...... [/B]

我本来的意思是说如果没有一定的标准和原则,就很容易被动摇,左右不定, 可能我没说清楚。 我会再改的。多谢
我的目标:永不止步!

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发表于 2005-3-9 20:03:46 |只看该作者
------题目------
The most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives. Any leader who is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion will accomplish little.
------正文------
观点:既要坚持一些自己的观点又要适当听取一些大众的意见我的立意也是这样的
1, 坚持自己的观点可以帮助领导人得到人们的拥护
2, 坚持自己的观点可以使领导人更容易获得成功
3, 但是这并不意味着可以不理会群众的意见,毕竟他们的权利或成功是大众给予的。
There is much controversy about the question whether the leader should commit to their certain rigid principles and objectives. In my point viewviewpoint 或point of view, the effective leader, generally defined, at least in our society你指的是我们社会??除了社会还有什么??, as that which achieves power and exert the power effectively,低级错误“which”,改为who is able to achieve and exert profound power over…… should adhere to their certain objective and principles appropriately, and consider the public opinions at the same timebut also consider . Now I will demonstrate my opinions.觉得很中国化,换具牛点的:)

Firstly, the(the可以去掉) adherence to certain object and principle 可以复数吧can help the leader gain the support of the publicmay win the leader wide support from the public . In my opinion , the rigid adherence may grant the leader a confidence and resolution, maybe generally considered as a character of the charismas , which help he or she attract more proponents successfully. Contrarily, the capricious leader , who in order to gain public support always change their principles, will lose support as a resulta capricious leader rotating aound the public to ensure their supports sometimes may result in his failure instead . Consider that if Martin Luther KIng gave up his dream: one day , people in the world may not be recognize through his color but through the real content, in the Civil Right commitment 这句我不明白与people in the world有何关系??. How can he get the holding up of the black people andeven the whole society, which is same to Gandhi, the great leader of India's Independent.when comes to Gandi, the great leader of India's Independence,the situation is the same Without resolute purpose and confidence to nonviolent tactic, Gandhi may discard his civil disobedience and of course lose the support of the public who appeals to peace but no violent protest.

The commitment to principles and objectives can not only help the effective leader achieve the leadership but also make wield power effectively, and gain success as a result. Holding certain principle and objective, the leader may be more insightful than the normal people and be more clear about what he or she will do next ,why he or she will do like that, especially in the hard condition when he or she was opposed by some popular opinions. For example, Roosevelt, the 32nd President of the United State, had never discarded我觉得这个词你用的时候要慎重,我查了一下字典好像没这种搭配 his domestic program, known as the New Deal, which also granted him chance to save American from the economic crisis effectively.

While, it can be agreed with that the commitment is pivotal to an effective leader.不懂 However, it dose not mean that the leader can ignore the popular opinion and refuse to change. When the leader is trying to gain the leadership and exert their power, they should not forget the facet that the power and the success are granted by the masses, so there is no reason to discard the popular opinion. What is more, ignoring the public opinion completely and commit to some ideas inappropriately may make the leaders lose their success that they have been gotten before. One of the examples is the story of Henry Ford. The famous American auto这是口语,automobile 或是motor manufacturer, had ever founded the Ford Auto Company and produced Type T automobile, but because of his adherence to the old type of the automation and ignorance to the consumers' complains that the old type is too load and too slow, his factory fell to hard time. It can be seen that the popular opinion should never be discarded, although some principles and objectives should be committed.

In sum, the masses who do not want to be ignored will always call for an effective leader who owns enough resolution and confidence to adhere to his or her certain objectives or manners in order to fulfill the public's wishes. So as the effective leader, some idea of himself must be committed and meanwhile some opinions of the public should be considered.
1.前面都是在将政治领域的领导,突然来了个henry Ford很意外
  2.你的第2,3与第4段是一个意思,不过是正面与方面:前面说这么做可以成功,后面说不这么做就会失败
3. 总体觉得中间部分理由不是太冲分
以上是个人看法
———
Get busy living...or get busy dying
-(The Shawshank Redemption)

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发表于 2005-3-9 20:05:59 |只看该作者
有时间看看欧的链接
———
Get busy living...or get busy dying
-(The Shawshank Redemption)

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发表于 2005-3-10 10:24:12 |只看该作者
多谢
1,我的第一段是想说听从大家的意见可以得到支持,获得leadership
2, 使他们有效地运用自己的权利
3,有的时候要适当改变,否则会被淘汰

似乎不是一个意思吧?我们可以再讨论。
who in order to gain public support always change their principles, will lose support as a resulta capricious leader rotating aound the public to ensure their supports sometimes may result in his failure instead .
其实我是想引他的原话
when comes to Gandi, the great leader of India's Independence,the situation is the same
这句不地道是吗?
3. 总体觉得中间部分理由不是太冲分

我也这么认为,主要是第三段论证少了:)我找不到合适的论据了 。

最初由 smartyr 发布
[B]------题目------
The most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives. Any..

以下省略...... [/B]
我的目标:永不止步!

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RE: issue 160 政治类,必回改!!! [修改]

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issue 160 政治类,必回改!!!
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