argument 102 请指教，必回拍

lunaticUID: 150745

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102The following appeared in a letter from the mayor of Tudor City.
"After a major airline chose Yorkville as its regional flight hub, the number of businesses in that city almost doubled and local tax revenue increased by 50 percent. In addition, as travel to Yorkville became easier, most respondents to a survey of the country's top executives identified Yorkville as a desirable place to transact business. To secure efficient transportation for Tudor City and stimulate our local economy, we should build a new airport, like the one in Yorkville, that is suitable for a regional flight hub."
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The conclusion that Tudor City should build a new airport suitable for a regional flight hub to secure efficient transportation and stimulate its local economy is based on the study of the increased businesses and tax revenue of Yorkville and the result of survey of top executives. However, are the studies and analyses comprehensive and accurate? May the conclusion that investing in new airport mask other (potentially more significant) factors that affect local economy?

It is more likely that the fact that the increased tax revenue and high evaluation about Yorkville for business is not the result of building an airport, and even bear no relation to the regional flight hub. First, the real cause of increased local tax revenue may be some new economic reform policy, or a novel field with high profits such as the information industry, computer software and so on. Second, although the respondents to the survey are satisfactory, the writer provide no evidence whatsoever links the airport built in Yorkville with the respondents to the survey of the country's top executives. Unless we are certain that the arguer take into account this factor in the survey and draw a comparison between the respondents to the survey after the regional flight hub was built and before, we have every reason to doubt the trustworthiness of the arguer's study.

In addition, the arguer fails to take into account several other factors that can secure efficient transportation and stimulate our local economy. In order to improve transportation, building a railway seems more effective and economized than an airport (tt seems more effective and economized to build a railway than an airport) , moreover the railway is capable of affording more load and is of more safety. And for the sake of stimulating local economy, the government should pay attention to not only transportation but also the atmosphere of investing and economic order, which are of more significance for local economy.

Finally, it is unwarranted to expect that airport in Yorkville would turn out to be a regional flight hub. Even if Yorkville spent a terrific amount of money and resources on building the airport，the airport could not become a regional flight hub because of its unsuitable geographical position or average climate, which are significant factors concerned for regional flight hub. What is more, some other factors also affect the plan. For instance, there has been a regional flight hub near Yorkville in its region, so it is to a large extent worthless to build another one. Without these information, we cannot agree with the recommendation.

The argument for a new airport based on the studies of some economic change in Yorkville, where is a regional flight hub, provide import information. However, the conclusions about the airport for stimulating economy are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits and feasibilities are needed. After all, for government an unadvisable investment might mean an adventure, even a danger.
480词

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

The conclusion that Tudor City should build a new airport suitable for a regional flight hub to secure efficient transportation and stimulate its local economy is based on the study of the increased businesses and tax revenue of Yorkville and the result of survey of top executives. However, are the studies and analyses comprehensive and accurate? May the conclusion that investing in new airport mask other (potentially more significant) factors that affect local economy?

It is more likely that the fact that the increased tax revenue and high evaluation about Yorkville for business is not the result of building an airport, and even bear no relation to the regional flight hub. First, the real cause of increased local tax revenue may be some new economic reform policy, or a novel field with high profits such as the information industry, computer software and so on. Second, although the respondents to the survey are satisfactory, the writer provide no evidence whatsoever links the airport built in Yorkville with the respondents to the survey of the country's top executives. Unless we are certain that the arguer take into account this factor in the survey and draw a comparison between the respondents to the survey after the regional flight hub was built and before, we have every reason to doubt the trustworthiness of the arguer's study.

In addition, the arguer fails to take into account several other factors that can secure efficient transportation and stimulate our local economy. In order to improve transportation, building a railway seems more effective and economized than an airport (tt? seems more effective and economized to build a railway than an airport) , moreover the railway is capable of affording more load and is of more safety. And for the sake of stimulating local economy, the government should pay attention to not only transportation but also the atmosphere of investing and economic order, which are of more significance for local economy.

Finally, it is unwarranted to expect that airport in Yorkville would turn out to be a regional flight hub. Even if Yorkville spent a terrific amount of money and resources on building the airport，the airport could not become a regional flight hub because of its unsuitable geographical position or average climate, which are significant factors concerned for regional flight hub. What is more, some other factors also affect the plan. For instance, there has been a regional flight hub near Yorkville in its region, so it is to a large extent worthless to build another one. Without these information, we cannot agree with the recommendation.

The argument for a new airport based on the studies of some economic change in Yorkville, wherewhich is a regional flight hub, provide import information. However, the conclusions about the airport for stimulating economy are reached这一句感觉很别扭, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits and feasibilities are needed. After all, for government an unadvisable investment might mean an adventure, even a danger.
思路很好，错误也都批到了，只是最后一段写的不好，最好改一下，个人建议，仅供参考

lunaticUID: 150745

However,去掉，改为（Before） conclusions about the airport for stimulating economy are reached
没注意些错了
谢谢！