issue107,请批评一下！

wildUID: 189262

Issue107  第5篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分49秒     427 words
从2005年1月25日18时8分到2005年1月25日18时45分
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Instant communication systems encourage people to form hasty opinions and give quick replies rather than take the time to develop thoughtful, well-reasoned points of view.
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According to the arguer's view, nowadays multiple instant communication instruments tent to lead people to hasty opinions, so that time consuming and careful thoughts are killed. It has to admit that convenient real time conversation may shorten the thinking time of problems; however, the result of this is not definitely irrational decisions.

First of all, communication systems, likes other techniques produced by our rapidly developed science and industries, are just tools to give man more choice of life style, but not the ruler of man. The ultimate decision makers of how much time should be spent on deciding how to deal with things are human beings. So communication systems are not deciders. Hasty opinions and quick replies are certainly also not products of the technique in the root. Actually, it is the man who handles the entire thing concerning on completing an opinion and whether giving a reply quick or not, but not instant communication systems.

Furthermore, instant communion tools vary in a wide range. The e-mail, the msn messenger, the fax, the telegraph and the telephone all give ways for the real time conversation. But the traits of them are quite different. Speaking across telephone is the means which is most like face to face intercommunion. After hearing what the person say on the other side of the phone, one must give the immediate response. Reluctance or a smile can be felt easily by the listener. The msn messenger and the ICQ can be ranked to the second place. According to them, each part of the speakers can give another a quick reply. Even the emotion can be expressed by using expression symbols. But people also have the chance to think about what he/she should say and how to express his/her thoughts. They can choose to use words carefully. The slowest form among the instant communication tools is the e-mail. Actually, to one decision maker, the e-mail is no different from the mail. One can decide when to reply an e-mail, and of course, can take enough time to think the content clearly. In a word, people can chose which means of the instant conversation tools to use, according to the diffident characteristics of various conditions and what kinds of things man need to deal with.

Moreover, a crucial fallacy of the arguer’s opinion is that time consuming is not equal to thoughtful, and on the contra, a logical decision is not ought to spend much time. In front of the same situation, an expert can give out a method for problem solving rapidly but right; however, a stranger may need a lot of time on background knowledge learning and circumstance analysis, whereas pity at last, fails to find the most appropriate way. Hence whether one man can make a right decision or not is not depended on how much time he will cost, but his experience, ability and the certain way he look on problems. Such aspects are all important factors for decision making, comparing with these, time is a trail aspect.

To sum up all of these in one word, instant communication system is not the prime criminal of hasty and inconsiderate decisions; contrarily, it is human beings who should take the responsibility. Instant communication tools give more choices and convenience to people, but are not the leader of people’s mind. Adding the fact that quick replies are not always cursory replies. So that although real time conversation tools let people have a way of short time response, they can not be claimed as fallacy producers.

wildUID: 189262

也许写的不好，但也请大家提提意见阿。

candybonUID: 194801

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251159  你的钻拍的我好爽阿，在来些吧，呵呵


According to the arguer's view, nowadays multiple instant communication instruments tent to lead people to hasty opinions, so that time consuming（time consuming好像有浪费时间的意思，有贬义的味道） and careful thoughts are killed. It has to admit that convenient real time conversation may shorten the thinking time of problems; however, the result of this     is not（may not be）   definitely irrational decisions.

First of all, communication systems, likes other techniques produced by our rapidly developed science and industries, are just tools to give man more choice of life style, but not the ruler    of(for)     man. The ultimate decision makers of how much time should be spent on deciding how to deal with things are human beings. So communication systems are not deciders. Hasty opinions and quick replies are certainly also not products of the technique in the root. Actually, it is the man who handles the entire thing concerning on completing an opinion and whether giving a reply quick or not, but not instant communication systems.(我觉得本段中心有点偏，因为Issue中是说instance communication 是ENCOURAGE的作用，而不是who is decision maker)

Furthermore, instant communion tools vary in a wide range.（首句应该把观点加上） The e-mail,（个人觉得e-mail 不是及时通信） the msn messenger, the fax, the telegraph and the telephone all give ways for the real time conversation. But the traits of them are quite different. Speaking across telephone is the means which is most like face to face intercommunion. After hearing what the person say on the other side of the phone, one must give the immediate response. Reluctance or a smile can be felt easily by the listener. The msn messenger and the ICQ can be ranked to the second place. According to them, each part of the speakers can give another a quick reply. Even the emotion can be expressed by using expression symbols. But people also have the chance to think about what he/she should say and how to express his/her thoughts. They can choose to use words carefully. The slowest form among the instant communication tools is the e-mail. Actually, to one decision maker, the e-mail is no different from the mail. One can decide when to reply an e-mail, and of course, can take enough time to think the content clearly. In a word, people can chose which means of the instant conversation tools to use, according to the diffident characteristics of various conditions and what kinds of things man need to deal with.（我觉得，你的意思在于表达不同的人可以使用适合自己思考特质的工具，而不会因为及时工具使思考不充分，但是本段并没有表达的很清晰）

Moreover, a crucial fallacy of the arguer’s opinion is that time consuming is not equal to thoughtful, and on the contra, a logical decision is not ought to spend much time. （观点很好）In front of the same situation, an expert can give out a method for problem solving rapidly but right; however, a     stranger（改成junior更合适）   may need a lot of time on background knowledge learning and circumstance analysis, whereas pity at last, fails to find the most appropriate way. Hence whether one man can make a right decision or not is not depended on how much time he will cost, but his experience, ability and the certain way he look on problems. Such aspects are all important factors for decision making, comparing with these, time is a trail aspect.（本段非常有利的说明你的观点）

To sum up all of these in one word, instant communication system is not the prime criminal of hasty and inconsiderate decisions; contrarily, it is human beings who should take the responsibility. Instant communication tools give more choices and convenience to people, but are not the leader of people’s mind. Adding the fact that quick replies are not always cursory replies. So that although real time conversation tools let people have a way of short time response, they can not be claimed as fallacy producers


总的来说，文章结构比较明确，但是份论点不太明确，另外我觉得语句方面还可以加强一下。

wildUID: 189262

非常感谢你的评论，尤其是对第二段的意见。我觉得我的观点可能是有些绝对了，在某种意义上讲instant communication system确实鼓励了人们的迅速回应。E－mail可能也确实不属于instant communication tools. 我第三段的意思是人在不同的情况下可以选择不同的工具。可能意思说的是不太明确，还要修改一下。
另外，语言方面觉得是该修炼一下新概念了。