ISSUE 214天才儿童, 立意怪了点，xdjm们看看如何？

jaojieUID: 195494

不知为什么，一限时就觉得自己没说清或没说服力，而且还怀疑从质疑可行性的角度行不行，大家给评评吧，也算是个高频题了，有砖必报
3月14日上海财大
Issue214: 556 words  45 minutes
Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

Should society select the children who have special ability and talent to educate particular? The speaker advocate that because he or she think it can develop these children’s  special ability. As far as I am concerned, although the purpose of this recommendation is laudable , however , it may not practical and may cause other problem.
To begin with, I admit that the special children need appropriate education which fit them well. These children  can learn more rapidly ,understand more complex and abstract  problems.  They can rearrange learned knowledge to create new ideas,  also they may question the authority as they think more critical than ordinary children. The genus are the ones who can learn more quickly , create new ideas and propose challenging questions. So different education services should be provided to fit their significantly different study needs .Otherwise , to put them study with the mediocre  may be a wastes of their talents.

However, this method may not be practical for two reasons . Firstly,  the task to  identify the special talent children is hard . Because the definition of giftness varied from person to person, time to time. And the most prevalent way is the intellectual tests. Yet this test's authority is often questioned by people, does its standard scientific? To what extent can they reflect the intellectual level of people? An good example to illustrate this dilemma , a convey done In 1990 by many states in American, the convey intended to investigate the percentage of the gifted children all over the country . Then some states concluded that there are less than 5% who are gifted children while others argued that there are more than  10%.What a big difference!
Secondly, it is not easy to educate every special children in the way fit them most. From economic aspect, the teacher may not be enough , teachers are assumed to teach many children while at this case they may just educate one children or  a few. This would increase the  cost in teaching .In addition, which method is best to educate this particular group is unknown compared to the normal education. With so much uncertain and increasing cost why will the government invest the revenue to this program that the money otherwise  help many ordinary poor children  go to school?
At the same time, the speaker fails to notice that the special children may thus be isolated and have some problems in psychology. Because they are apart from their peers and educated alone , they sometimes lose the opportunity to communicate with other children, they may feel lonely and isolated. They may not learn the principles to get along well with other ones, like tolerance ,cooperation and so on . Again, such a classification may lead those children selected feel superior than others and pride of themselves, leave the other children feel that they are not so good. The conception of  disparity may instilled to the heart of the young which is not beneficial for society.
In sum , theoretically ,we should give the gifted children special education so that their talent can be developed. However, as there are many problems like economic cost, lacking of fit  teachers and methods , the suggestion are not very practical . And a balance between society study and academic study should be aware of .

lindaliUID: 185012

Issue214: 556 words 45 minutes
Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

Should society select the children who have special ability and talent to educate particular particularly? The speaker advocate advocates that because he or she thinks it can develop these children’s special ability. As far as I am concerned, although the purpose of this recommendation is laudable, however , it maybe not practical and may cause other problem.
认为目的无错，但方法不实际并可能引起其他问题。开头不错。

To begin with, I admit that the special children need appropriate education ，which fit them well. These children can learn more rapidly, understand more complex and abstract problems. They can rearrange learned knowledge to create new ideas, and also they may question the authority as they think more criticallogically than ordinary children. The genus Geniuses are the ones those who can learn more quickly, create new ideas and propose challenging questions. So different education services should be provided to fit their significantly different study needs .Otherwise , to put putting 不定式可以直接做主语吗？ them study with the mediocre may be a wastes of their talents.
这一段应该想表达天才儿童的与众不同之处，所以结论认为如果让他们跟普通儿童在一起会浪费他们的才华。中间对天才儿童特点的描述感觉有点乱，是不是可以用排比句来讲儿童不同的特点，如记忆超人，算术能力强等等。

下文要转折了吧
However, this method may not be practical for two reasons. Firstly, the task to identify the special talent children is hard . Because the definition of giftness？？？ varied from person to person, time to time. And the most prevalent way is the intellectual tests IQ?  Intelligence quotient.. Yet this test's authority is often questioned by people, does its standard scientific? To what extent can they reflect the intellectual level of people? An good example to illustrate this dilemma , a convey done In 1990 by many states in American, the convey intended to investigate the percentage of the gifted children all over the country . An good example to illustrate this dilemma is a convey conducted in many states in the America in 1990. The convey intended to investigate the percentage of the gifted children all over the country .拆成两句吧 Then some states concluded that there are less than 5% who are gifted children that gifted children are less than 5% in their states while others argued that there are more than 10%.What a big difference! 最后这个论据想证明天才儿童难以确定吧，那最后一句是不是应该归结到该点，不然只说有不同意义不大。

Secondly, it is not easy to educate every special children child in the way fit them most. From economic aspect, the teacher teachers may not be enough, teachers enough. Teachers 两句 are assumed to teach many childrenA teacher could teach many ordinary students at a time while at inthis case they may just educate one children or a fewonly a few special children. This would increase the cost in teaching .In addition, which method is best to educate this particular group is unknown compared to the normal education. With so much uncertain so many uncertainties and increasing cost why will the government invest allocate the revenue to this program that the money otherwise could help many ordinary poor children go to school?
上面讲了两个原因说明此方法不实际。

At the same time, the speaker fails to notice that the special children may thus be isolated and have some problems in psychologypsychological problems. Because they are apart from their peers and educated alone, they sometimes lose the opportunity to communicate with other children, then 注意：一定要有连词 they may feel lonely and isolated. They may notcouldn’t learn the principles to get along well with other ones, like tolerance ,cooperation and so on . Again, such a classification may lead make those children selected feel superior than others and be pride of themselves, leave the other children feel that they are not so good. The conception of disparity may instilled to the heart may be infuse into the blood of the young which is not beneficial for society.
In sum , theoretically ,we should give the gifted children special education so that their talent can be developed. However, as there are many problems like economic cost, lacking of fit teachers and methods ,还有上面说的对儿童成长不利 the suggestion are not very practical . And a balance between society study and academic study should be aware of.

感觉还可以，字数很多啊
我有以下建议：第二段讲天才儿童的天赋可以放在第一段简单说一下，然后就转折说此方法不实际而且对儿童发展不利。后面三段就可以分别展开了。如此布局文章结构就清楚一些了。你觉得呢？
还有一点相提醒的是语法。肯能时间紧没来得及改，但有几点一定要注意：主谓一直，句子如果两个谓语要莫分两句，要末加连词。这些小毛病很忌讳的。
如果有不妥的，我们可以讨论。好运啊！！

jaojieUID: 195494

唉，现在就这个问题困惑，想到就赶快写吧，字数是够了，但总感觉没表达清，如果想的很清楚并注意语法错误了吧，不仅时间不够，而且字数还少？真困惑阿。
批的真好！
不过把B2插入B1我觉得不好操作，会不会造成开头太罗嗦了呢？老师不时说开头要简明，态度鲜明， 别让人找你的论点， 唉，我也不知。：）

lindaliUID: 185012

那你可以把3、4、5段写成并列的关系把，不然3、4总觉得被硬硬掰开了。