argument14 机井题 蚂蚁找朋友结对子 从来没人看我的ＡＲＧＵ的拉

cathyantUID: 193285

Argu14
Although there is a trend of growing plants at home all over the world,the suggestion to expand the variety of vegetable seeds may result in overstock and loss of money instead of profits for the company as it collect insufficient information to assure that local people are interested in their products. Firstly,the national survey mentioned amounts little evidence to support the claim that local people are not satisfied with the vegetables sold in the town. As we are told,the survey was conducted nationwide,thus it informs little about the attitude of people in the town towards the quality of vegetables. It is possible that companies dealing with and providing fresh vegetables are equipped with advanced machines that they can guarantee the freshness and nutrition of the vegetables,which are quite welcomed by local customers. Besides,the suburban town may situated close to countryside where vegetables grow so the food are more likely to remain fresh when they are taken to the supermarkets while the areas where the national survey is conducted are generally far from the rural areas. Even if the customers are not glad with the vegetables provided by the supermarkets,the assumption that they are willing to grow vegetables themselves is problematic. Undoubtedly, the pace of modern life is increasing all the times. It is hard to imagine that people will take the trouble to take care of vegetables at home every day. Moreover,people can surely find other ways to compensate for the lack of fresh vegetables locally. They may choose to eat at restaurants where vegetables are transported from other places. And vitamin pills are an alternative. Even the local people have to grow vegetables themselves as they cannot afford the alternatives above all do not like the taste of vitamin pills,they may have a variety of choices from other companies of its kind,in which case,the company may not be able to sell the seeds it increases.
  Secondly,the fact that a gardening magazine has sold out provides no concrete evidence that local people are enthusiastic about gardening. We are not informed about the total number of the magazines.It is not surprising that dozens of such magazines are sold in a row. Besides,it is possibly the colorful pages,exquisite printing and interesting contents that attracted readers,and they are contented with enjoying reading the magazines in the sun rather than laboring themselves.\
  Last but not least,the problem of profits is oversimplified.The profits are influenced by the costs and demand. What if the weather is so wet in spring in this area that it costs a lot for the company to store the seeds. Moreover,if the local market is really so lucrative,it is reasonable that other competitors may swarm in.Cut-throat competition may undermine the company’s plan.As to the problem of demand,it is may be the case that only a limited kinds of vegetables is appropriate to grow at home. Therefore,greatly increasing the variety of seeds may not satisfy the local needs.

cathyantUID: 193285

加油！

cathyantUID: 193285

再加油啊

zhangqiang928UID: 188538

明天给你贴上！

有机会请多拍砖,每拍必回拍,多谢


第一篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=250654 issu121
第二篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=250916 argument120
第三篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251025 issue122
第四篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251374 issue3@^@#####改一改这篇吧######



当阳光照遍每个角落
心情像风般漂泊不停留
抛开界限 快乐行走
我有属于自己的方式做梦

西安外国语学院 3月25日

cathyantUID: 193285

谢谢！！我看看你的ＩＳＳＵＥ去啊

hardbeaverUID: 197443

1. national survey
2. magazine
3. variety of vegetable seeds (profits
三个方面抓逻辑错误很准，论证也满条理，第一段和第二段分开，：），还少一个结尾吧。

cathyantUID: 193285

谢谢
不过不是说结尾不重要的吗？

zhangqiang928UID: 188538

Argu14
Although there is a trend of growing plants at home all over the world, the suggestion to expand the variety of vegetable seeds may result in overstock and loss of money instead of profits for the company as it collect insufficient information to assure that local people are interested in their products. Firstly, the national survey mentioned amounts little evidence to support the claim that local people are not satisfied with the vegetables sold in the town. As we are told, the survey was conducted nationwide, thus it informs little about the attitude of people in the town towards the quality of vegetables. It is possible that companies dealing with and providing fresh vegetables are equipped with advanced machines that they can guarantee the freshness and nutrition of the vegetables, which are quite welcomed by local customers. Besides, the suburban town may situated close to countryside where vegetables grow so the food are more likely to remain fresh when they are taken to the supermarkets while the areas where the national survey is conducted are generally far from the rural areas. Even if the customers are not glad with the vegetables provided by the supermarkets, the assumption that they are willing to grow vegetables themselves is problematic. Undoubtedly, the pace of modern life is increasing all the times. It is hard to imagine that people will take the trouble to take care of vegetables at home every day. Moreover, people can surely find other ways to compensate for the lack of fresh vegetables locally. They may choose to eat at restaurants where vegetables are transported from other places. And vitamin pills are an alternative. Even the local people have to grow vegetables themselves as they cannot afford the alternatives above all do not like the taste of vitamin pills, they may have a variety of choices from other companies of its kind,in which case, the company may not be able to sell the seeds it increases.
Secondly, the fact that a gardening magazine has sold out provides no concrete evidence that local people are enthusiastic about gardening. We are not informed about the total number of the magazines. It is not surprising that dozens of such magazines are sold in a row. Besides, it is possibly the colorful pages, exquisite printing and interesting contents that attracted readers, and they are contented with enjoying reading the magazines in the sun rather than laboring themselves.\
Last but not least, the problem of profits is oversimplified. The profits are influenced by the costs and demand. What if the weather is so wet in spring in this area that it costs a lot for the company to store the seeds. Moreover, if the local market is really so lucrative, it is reasonable that other competitors may swarm in. Cut-throat competition may undermine the company’s plan. As to the problem of demand, it is may be the case that only a limited kinds of vegetables is appropriate to grow at home. Therefore, greatly increasing the variety of seeds may not satisfy the local needs.


你的文章，能看出来文字功底挺好的，和羡慕，只提一点建议：
1、        还能看出issue的感觉
2、        标点符号的问题要注意一下，每个词后用，再加一个空格，之后再写下一句
3、        开头以该有一点北京的介绍，就是把文中的问题：你要反驳的提一下即背景引入
4、        还有就是我觉得你要看一点套句子，用来写argument 的
一点浅薄的意见，我没你写得好，文字功底也不好，我自会用简单的句子和词，急死了

谢谢批我的文章,交个朋友一起改文章


有机会请多拍砖,每拍必回拍,多谢
https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... id=251898改改这篇吧

当阳光照遍每个角落
心情像风般漂泊不停留
抛开界限 快乐行走
我有属于自己的方式做梦

西安外国语学院 3月25日[/

Yan JinhuaUID: 142182

Argu14
Although there is a trend of growing plants at home all over the world,the suggestion to expand the variety of vegetable seeds may result in overstock and loss of money instead of profits for the company as insufficient information to assure that local people are interested in their products. Firstly,the national survey mentioned little evidence to support the claim that local people are not satisfied with the vegetables sold in the town. As we are told,the survey was conducted nationwide,thus it informs little about the of people in the town towards the quality of vegetables. It is possible that companies dealing with and providing fresh vegetables are equipped with advanced machines guarantee the freshness and nutrition of the vegetables,which are quite welcomed by local customers. Besides, may be situated close to countryside where vegetables grow food are more likely to remain fresh when they are taken to the supermarkets areas where the national survey is conducted are generally far from the rural areas. Even if the customers are not glad with the vegetables provided by the supermarkets,the assumption that they are willing to grow vegetables themselves is problematic. It is hard to imagine that peoplecitizens will take the trouble to take care of vegetables at home every day

Yan JinhuaUID: 142182

加了颜色的地方都没了 呜呜

Yan JinhuaUID: 142182

后面的没看 这个颜色问题实在难为我了 主要感觉可以追求长句 改由标点的地方 没有  一口气！要是颜色还没解决 就请楼主凑合凑合把
Argu14
Although there is a trend of growing plants at home all over the world,the suggestion to expand the variety of vegetable seeds may result in overstock and loss of money instead of profits for the company as <br>it collect [改为the arguer collects]insufficient information to assure that local people are interested in their products. Firstly,the national survey mentioned <br>amounts[vi] little evidence to support the claim that local people are not satisfied with the vegetables sold in the town. As we are told,the survey was conducted nationwide,thus it informs little about the <br>attitude[attitudes] of people in the town towards the quality of vegetables. It is possible that companies dealing with and providing fresh vegetables are equipped with advanced machines <br>that they can [to]guarantee the freshness and nutrition of the vegetables,which are quite welcomed by local customers. Besides,the <br>suburban town[suburbs] may situated close to countryside where vegetables grow<br> [,]so the food are more likely to remain fresh when they are taken to the supermarkets<br>[,] while the areas where the national survey is conducted are generally far from the rural areas. Even if the customers are not glad with the vegetables provided by the supermarkets,the assumption that they are willing to grow vegetables themselves is problematic. <br>Undoubtedly, the pace of modern life is increasing all the times.[去掉，Undoubtedly用得不合适] It is hard to imagine that people will take the trouble to take care of vegetables at home every day<br>[along with the increasing pace of modern life].