Issue3 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

sailing_yfUID: 150982

作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     432 words
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It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations.
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In the decision of where money should be invested we often feel dilemma that whether the immediate existing social problems are as necessary as the future ones. It is right to allocate the financial support to the current difficulty. But the future, too, should be taken into our consideration when thinking of the way out of the problem.

First of all, the emergent issues involving of establishing a system to deal with accidents, releasing the pressure of old people in society and so forth, of course, have the priority to be resolved, for the reason of demanding directly from the requirement of people. What our government should do in current society is not to think firstly before action for the next generation, in spite of the fact that the two are connected, but to create and provide better living conditions, a standard that are equipped with high salary, comfortable house to the mass. On the behalf of current benefit, we should risk of damaging a little future profits, in the exchange of more enormous advantage than the one lost not only benefiting the modern society but also preserve the opportunity for the next generation to progress it.

owing to the fact that current money is responsibility for the current things, we have to pay the bill of modern society in constructing and developing. Because the money we owned is so limited that no adequate financial support is available to resolve two things simultaneously, like funding a house for lonely old men, meanwhile, sponsoring the education for a new library and a gym that would cost lots of money, though necessary for the students in the school, and could not resolve the facing problems.

Although a few relations with reality dreaming future that envision in mind is a natural habits for everyone to release minds and an excellent entertainment to spare the empty time. Paying more attention to current does not mean that not care the others. It is necessary that before doing, we should legitimate some rules and laws to protect  and to inhibit the indispensable loss to our future profits. Otherwise our planets is definitely damaged by our regular business of reducing the forest, giving of more carbon dioxide that cause the global warming, pollution from factories that kill the creature, even ourselves.

In a conclusion, my stand is on the immediate existing problem rather than paying more to the future, a topic that should be considered by them. We, the ordinary people, could work hard in  the original desire for human themselves rather than pursuit others' profits firstly in minds.

sailing_yfUID: 150982

顶

windy-iUID: 196853

whether the immediate existing social problems are as necessary as the future ones. 这个句型应该是轻视前面重视后面。我理解的你的意思应该是要说人们常常没有远见么？如果是那样，就应该把the future ones放在前面
整篇文章没有太懂……大概是心里有中文再翻译成英文么？好像有些偏差……

dot699699UID: 175798

首先是觉得有的表达不是很到位，自己的意思说得不是特别明确，还存在基本的语法问题；
其次是通篇很多讲了一个道理但是没有举例，比如第一段可以给一个实际例子；
还有就是第一段我看了都不是特别确定你的主题是支持什么，要是和最后一段那么一看很清楚的我觉得应该会更好。

sailing_yfUID: 150982

谢谢