issue159 上月机井，技术之人与机器

G猫UID: 192988

前几篇限时写之前都构思地比较充分了。昨天看了网友的经验贴子，觉得这样不行，确实应该连构思都在限时内完成了，于是就决定以后限时构思。没想到今天的题目比较顺手，没有想好的框架的束缚，反倒写的很畅快。不过好像过于潇洒了，逻辑什么的都没太注意了，也不够严谨，大家多提意见吧。


Issue159  技术，人和机器
------摘要------
作者：G猫     共用时间：39分45秒     696 words
从2005年2月2日8时37分到2005年2月2日9时39分
------题目------
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

------题目------
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.
------正文------
Wake up in the fiction <I, robot>, from which we witness threaten to human existence posed by artificial intelligence. Nowadays, although in some aspects that the machines do better than human mind, but there are more aspects that human minds outwit machines. I'm not sure that whether one day what happened in the movie <I, robot> will come true. But now we are still the masters of this planet.

If superiority is defined as faster speed of computing and higher accuracy to deal with certain task, our machines，such as computer，are indeed superior to human mind. We may take a whole day to order a huge name list while our computer, can finish this task less than a minute. Also when we try to remember something, it is possible that you can recall them clearly. But can you memorize everything in your computer with high accuracy. That's impossible. In this case, machines, as tools we developed to help with certain tasks, are definitely superior to our human's capacity.

However, the definition of superiority cannot be such narrow. We should also consider creativity. In this respect, we can claim proudly without any hesitation that our human brain is far superior to the machines, which have no creativity at all. Surely, the computers, for example, can perform very complex tasks, such as helping doctors make a diagnosis, but they themselves cannot reach the idea of how to give a solution to the task. It's our human intelligence, using certain computer language, to develop specific arithmetic, known as program, to tell the computer what should do step by step. In this case, computer has no original ideas on how to address specific problems; they could just take orders, coming from our human beings' creative thinking, to perform a good job.

Emotion is anther elements should be taken into accounts. Someone may argue, what practical value emotion could furnish us. Where does its superiority lies in? Have you ever consider where our human beings civilization, including literature, fine arts, music, stems from? Do you think all such things are of little value for our human beings? No one could seriously think that they stem merely from reasoning and have little value to our human beings. In fact, emotion is why we have such brilliant human culture. Without Shakespeare’s desire to explore human nature, we have no chance to be moved by <Romeo and Juliet>; without Monet’s keen enthusiasm to the nature, we have no chance to enjoy the shining sunrise; without Beethoven’s conviction of life, we have not chance to marvel at <The nine symphony>. And all these masterpieces will benefit our human beings now and forever. In sharp contrast, Machines, consisted of various materials, maybe steel, plastic, or other synthetic materials, are absent of emotion. Thus they could not contribute us with original literature, arts, music and obviously lost its contest against human mind in this bout.

Another thing worth mention is the learning ability. We share the view that our human beings can actively learn new things. What about our machines? Do you believe a computer can read by itself and record them on its hard disk? Impossible. They are just there waiting us to cram them with information, data and knowledge that we would like them to have. We can cultivate them to be an encyclopedia and we also can ignore them and let it to be an ignorant baby. All of these are depending on our human will, that is, our mind. On the other hand, our human mind can realize that we should learn new things, know what we should learn and how to learn. All of these are mission impossible for our machines. Thus, human minds, capable for learning, are surely superior to machines in this aspect.

Finally, human mind uses the most clean and inexpressive energy, if you never mind that carbon dioxide may commit the crime of making a global warming trend. But our machines cannot run without energy. As a result, lying behind our machines is costly electricity, pollution-causing fuel energy and dangerous nuclear power, all of which are undesirable aspects for our human beings. Does superior mean less harm? If yes, human mind win again.

To sum up, while the machines we made to help us with certain task are superior in computing speed and accuracy, they do not surpass us in creativity, emotion, leaning ability and energy-consuming. Thus overall, human mind is surely superior to machines. But maybe someday, in virtue of human ability, our machines could have the intelligence similar in human mind. This makes us recall the movie<I, robot>. If this will come true, will you be afraid?

so猫UID: 148633

Wake up in the fiction <I, robot>, from which we witness threaten to human existence posed by artificial intelligence. Nowadays, although in some aspects that the machines do better than human mind, but there are more aspects that human minds outwit machines.(although...but不能连用) I'm not sure that whether one day what happened in the movie <I, robot> will come true. But now we are still the masters of this planet. (有点模糊的观点 意思是 现在是 以后不知道会不会是 对不?)

If superiority is defined as faster speed of computing and higher accuracy to deal with certain task, our machines，such as computer，are indeed superior to human mind. We may take a whole day to order a huge name list while our computer, (要,干嘛)can finish this task less than a minute. Also when we try to remember something, it is possible that you can recall them clearly. But can you memorize everything in your computer with high accuracy. That's impossible. In this case, machines, as tools we developed to help with certain tasks, are definitely superior to our human's capacity.(机器比人强悍的地方 例子虾米的都不错)

However, the definition of superiority cannot be such narrow. We should also consider creativity. In this respect, we can claim proudly without any(去了any) hesitation that our human brain is far superior to the machines, which have no creativity at all. Surely, the computers, for example, (这个for example放这里多余吧) can perform very complex tasks, such as helping doctors make a diagnosis, but they themselves cannot reach the idea of how to give a solution to the task.(为什么一定要放在一句里面说 要放也应该在这个but前用分号) It's our human intelligence, using certain computer language, to develop specific arithmetic, known as program, to tell the computer what should do step by step. In this case, computer has no original ideas on how to address specific problems; they could just take orders, coming from our human beings' creative thinking, to perform a good job. (人有创造性 电脑无 这段讲得也比较清楚 感觉就是条理没上段清晰 有点想哪是哪的感觉 最后还算不错 回到creation这个论断上 你这小猫的逻辑不错)

Emotion is anther elements should be taken into accounts. (你的TS写的都很不错 很有层次感的感觉 感觉象剪得很好的头发)Someone may argue, what practical value emotion could furnish us. (这句话怪怪的)Where does its superiority lies in? Have you ever consider where our human beings civilization, including literature, fine arts, music, stems from? Do you think all such things are of little value for our human beings? No one could seriously think that they stem merely from reasoning and have little value to our human beings. In fact, emotion is why we have such brilliant human culture. Without Shakespeare’s desire to explore human nature, we have no chance to be moved by <Romeo and Juliet>; without Monet’s keen enthusiasm to the nature, we have no chance to enjoy the shining sunrise; without Beethoven’s conviction of life, we have not chance to marvel at <The nine symphony>.(这个地方跟emotion的关系~~~ 你的emotion的范围比我想象中的要宽那么一点呢 段前给个定义吧 否则不同的人会有不同的理解呢) And all these masterpieces will benefit our human beings now and forever.(这话有点突兀) In sharp contrast, Machines, consisted of various materials, maybe steel, plastic, or other synthetic materials, are absent of emotion. Thus they could not contribute us with original literature, arts, music and obviously lost its contest against human mind in this bout.

Another thing worth mention is the learning ability. We share the view that our human beings can actively learn new things. What about our machines? Do you believe a computer can read by itself and record them on its hard disk? Impossible.(好多反问啊) They are just there waiting us to cram them with information, data and knowledge that we would like them to have. We can cultivate them to be an encyclopedia and we also can ignore them and let it to be an ignorant baby. All of these are depending on our human will, that is, our mind. On the other hand, our human mind can realize that we should learn new things, know what we should learn and how to learn. All of these are mission impossible for our machines. Thus, human minds, capable for learning, are surely superior to machines in this aspect.(学习能力~~但是感觉好象跟最前的那个创造性没有完全分明白的样子 有点重合的感觉)

Finally, human mind uses the most clean and inexpressive energy, if you never mind that carbon dioxide may commit the crime of making a global warming trend. (啥意思 没懂~)But our machines cannot run without energy. As a result, lying behind our machines is costly electricity, pollution-causing fuel energy and dangerous nuclear power, all of which are undesirable aspects for our human beings. Does superior mean less harm? If yes, human mind win again. (这个观点 偶不敢认同咧~ 不过自己说的是那回事也OK啦)

To sum up, while the machines we made to help us with certain task are superior in computing speed and accuracy, they do not surpass us in creativity, emotion, leaning ability and energy-consuming. Thus overall, human mind is surely superior to machines. But maybe someday, in virtue of human ability, our machines could have the intelligence similar in human mind. This makes us recall the movie<I, robot>. If this will come true, will you be afraid? (这个结尾~ 这个文句 弄得偶以为这后面还有东西~)

逻辑不错 nice文~~~

will_foreverUID: 193568

真的很不错呀，就energy部分，同意so猫的意见，好比现代科技远比传统的消耗资源及污染环境，但你不得不承认现代科技的superority一样。

妖妖UID: 149770

前几篇限时写之前都构思地比较充分了。昨天看了网友的经验贴子，觉得这样不行，确实应该连构思都在限时内完成了，于是就决定以后限时构思。没想到今天的题目比较顺手，没有想好的框架的束缚，反倒写的很畅快。不过好像过于潇洒了，逻辑什么的都没太注意了，也不够严谨，大家多提意见吧。


Issue159 技术，人和机器
------摘要------
作者：G猫 共用时间：39分45秒 696 words
从2005年2月2日8时37分到2005年2月2日9时39分
------题目------
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

------题目------
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.
------正文------
Wake up in the fiction <I, robot>, from which we witness threaten to human existence posed by artificial intelligence. Nowadays, although in some aspects that the machines do better than human mind, but ( but 去掉) there are more aspects that human minds outwit machines. I'm not sure that （ that多余了） whether one day what happened in the movie <I, robot> will come true. But now we are still the masters of this planet.

If superiority is defined as faster speed of computing and higher accuracy to deal with certain task, our machines，such as computer（computers or the computer） ，are indeed superior to human mind. We may take a whole day to order a huge name list while our computer, can finish this task less than a minute. Also when we try to remember something, it is possible that you can recall them clearly. But can you memorize everything in your computer with high accuracy.(?) （ 虽然我知道你这里要表达的是，我们不可以象计算几一样高容量的回忆所有发生过的事情，但是我是想了好一会儿才知道你的意思的：（，，不知道是我理解有问题还是者句话要换一个说法：）） That's impossible. In this case, machines, as tools we developed to help with certain tasks, are definitely superior to our human's capacity.

However, the definition of superiority cannot be such narrow. We should also consider creativity（ 加一句 which is more important than the former in our society 是不是更好点？）. In this respect, we can claim proudly without any hesitation that our human brain is far superior to the machines, which have no creativity at all. Surely, the computers, for example, can perform very complex tasks, such as helping（aiding 是不是更好点，感觉他们更多的是一种辅助作用） doctors make a diagnosis, but they themselves cannot reach the idea of how to give a solution to the task. （ Again / Furthermore加一个连词文章可以更连贯点）It's our human intelligence, using certain computer language, to develop specific arithmetic, known as program, to tell the computer what should do step by step. In this case, computer has no original ideas on how to address specific problems; they could just take orders, coming from our （our去掉）  human beings' creative thinking, to perform a good job.

Emotion is anther elements（ another element, typoJ） should be taken into accounts. Someone may argue, what practical value emotion could furnish us. Where does its superiority lies (lie) in? Have you ever consider where our（our去掉） human beings civilization, including literature, fine arts, music, stems (stem) from? Do you think all such things are of little value for our（our去掉） human beings? No one could seriously think that they stem merely from reasoning and have little value to our human beings.( 这句话表达有问题， 你是说人们都没有考虑过 EMOTION的作用，但是表达出来的效果好象不是这样的。)In fact, emotion is why we have such brilliant human culture. Without Shakespeare’s desire to explore human nature, we have no chance to be moved by <Romeo and Juliet>; without Monet’s keen enthusiasm to the nature, we have no chance to enjoy the shining sunrise; without Beethoven’s conviction of life, we have not chance to marvel at <The nine (ninth) symphony>. And all these masterpieces will benefit our human beings now and forever. In( On) sharp contrast, Machines, consisted of various materials, maybe steel, plastic, or other synthetic materials, are absent of emotion. Thus they could not contribute us with original literature, arts, music and obviously lost its ( their) contest against human mind in this bout.

Another thing worth mention is the learning ability. ( Learning ability is another thing worthy of mention) We share the view that our human beings can actively learn new things. What about our machines? Do you believe a computer can read by itself and record them on its hard disk? Impossible. They are just there waiting us to cram them with information, data and knowledge that we would like them to have(that we would like them to have 太中国化了，改成 decided by us) . We can cultivate them to be an encyclopedia and we also can ignore them and let it to be an ignorant baby. All of these are depending on our（our去掉）  human will, that is, our mind. On the other hand, our （our去掉,妹妹在写作文的时候想了多少个我们？呵呵,弄的我都想起公主日记最后MIA作的哪个演讲）human mind can realize that we should learn new things, know what we should learn and how to learn. All of these are mission （missions）impossible for our (J)machines. Thus, human minds, capable for learning, are surely superior to machines in this aspect.

Finally, human mind uses the most clean and inexpressive energy, if you never mind that carbon dioxide may commit the crime of making a global warming trend. But our machines cannot run without energy. （这个论点不是太站的住脚，我觉得，因为人也同样消耗别的能量）As a result, lying behind our (J) machines is costly （cost）electricity, pollution-causing fuel energy and dangerous nuclear power, all of which are undesirable aspects for our (J) human beings. Does superior mean less harm? If yes, human mind win again. （最后一句用的特别可爱：），当然受到的效果也特别的好）

To sum up, while the machines we made to help us with certain task are superior in computing speed and accuracy, they do not surpass us in creativity, emotion, leaning ability and energy-consuming. Thus overall, human mind is surely superior to machines. But maybe someday, in virtue of human ability, our machines could have the intelligence similar in human mind. This makes us recall the movie<I, robot>. If this will come true, will you be afraid?

结构特别好：）羡慕学习中，感觉红包都有9成以上的熟了。

39分45秒 696 words 暴强！

我也在厦门考，，现在还没有定时间，大约20号吧：）。

冥界星灿UID: 184746

Issue159 技术，人和机器
------摘要------
作者：G猫 共用时间：39分45秒 696 words
从2005年2月2日8时37分到2005年2月2日9时39分
------题目------
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

------题目------
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.
------正文------
Wake up in the fiction <I, robot>英文书名号是不是双引号？, from which we witness threaten to human existence posed by artificial intelligence. 第一句好像有语病？看一下主语Nowadays, although in some aspects that the machines do better than human mind, butalthough和but不要用在一个句子里 there are more aspects that human minds outwit machines. I'm not sure that whether one day what happened in the movie <I, robot> will come true. But now we are still the masters of this planet.

If superiority is defined as faster speed of computing and higher accuracy to deal with certain task, our machines，such as computer，are indeed superior to human mind. We may take a whole day to order a huge name list while our computer, can finish this task less than a minute. Also when we try to remember something, it is possible that you can recall them clearly. But can you memorize everything in your computer with high accuracy.标点？ That's impossible.三个单词的句子还是少用 In this case, machines, as tools we developed to help with certain tasks, are definitely superior to our human's capacityhuman就可以了，正和前面machine对应.让步段的逻辑还是很清晰的，不错

However, the definition of superiority cannot be such narrow. We should also consider creativity. In this respect, we can claim proudly without any hesitation that our human brain is far superior to the machines, which have no creativity at all. Surely, the computers, for example, can perform very complex tasks, such as helping doctors make a diagnosis, but they themselves cannot reach the idea of how to give a solution to the task. It's our human intelligence, using certain computer language, to develop specific arithmetic, known as program, to tell the computer what should do step by step.这个句子插入语怎么这么多？ In this case, computer has no original ideas on how to address specific problems; they could just take orders, coming from our human beings' creative thinking, to perform a good job.

Emotion is antheranother elements should be taken into accounts. Someone may argue, what practical value emotion could furnish us. Where does its superiority lies in? Have you ever consider where our human beingsbeing civilization, including literature, fine arts, music, stems from? Do you think all such things are of little value for our human beings? No one could seriously think that they stem merely from reasoning and have little value to our human beings. In fact, emotion is why we have such brilliant human culture. Without Shakespeare’s desire to explore human nature, we have no chance to be moved by <Romeo and Juliet>; without Monet’s keen enthusiasm to the nature, we have no chance to enjoy the shining sunrise; without Beethoven’s conviction of life, we have not chance to marvel at <The nine symphony>. And all these masterpieces will benefit our human beings now and forever. In sharp contrast, Machines, consisted of various materials, maybe steel, plastic, or other synthetic materials, are absent of emotion. Thus they could not contribute us with original literature, arts, music and obviously lost its contest against human mind in this bout.观点很新，例证也很丰富。但是，楼主说的emotion好像是上一段creative thinking 的动力？可以这么理解吗？

Another换换，重复了 thing worth mention is the learning ability. We share the view that our human beings can actively learn new things. What about our machines? Do you believe a computer can read by itself and record them on its hard disk? Impossible. They are just there waiting us to cram them with information, data and knowledge that we would like them to have. We can cultivate them to be an encyclopedia and we also can ignore them and let it to be an ignorant baby这句话是什么意思？an ignorant baby?. All of these are depending on our human will, that is, our mind. On the other hand, our human mind can realize that we should learn new things, know what we should learn and how to learn. All of these are mission impossible for our machines. Thus, human minds, capable for learning, are surely superior to machines in this aspect.学习主动性方面。

Finally, human mind uses the most clean and inexpressive??? energy, if you never mind that carbon dioxide这两个词放在一起吗？ may commit the crime of making a global warming trend这句写的不错. But our machines cannot run without energy人也要吃饭，不是永动机. As a result, lying behind our machines is costly electricity, pollution-causing fuel energy and dangerous nuclear power, all of which are undesirable aspects for our human beings. Does superior mean less harm? If yes, human mind win again. 这段观点未免牵强

To sum up, while the machines we made to help us with certain task are superior in computing speed and accuracy, they do not surpass us in creativity, emotion, leaning ability and energy-consuming. Thus overall, human mind is surely superior to machines. But maybe someday, in virtue of human ability, our machines could have the intelligence similar in human mind. This makes us recall the movie<I, robot>. If this will come true, will you be afraid?后面这几句很新颖，而且照应开头。担，和ISSUE文体，本文中心是不是差的有点远？劝楼主适当割爱

写得不错。论证充分，例子也很多。

还有20多天考，限时，值得称道，赞一个！

G猫UID: 192988

谢谢大家的意见,我都收着了,回去慢慢考虑.
提出问题比较多的最后一个观点. 是我觉得从比较新的角度去看人脑优于机器的地方. 跟前面的论证的方向出入有点大, 确实也有点牵强, 但是感觉写了两个很好的句子, 所以舍不得删掉, 就也贴上来承砖了. 既然大家都说不太好, 就咔嚓掉算了.
还有我说不严谨的地方,就是冥界星灿提到的, 开头结尾写的有点随便, 我会考虑换上严肃一点的.

thinking in GTUID: 195028

很新颖的开头和结尾，不过你想引的I,robot到底是fiction or movie，万一普林的老师不看电影怎办？哈，开个玩笑！还是科幻保险些
很欣赏你的文字，要是我也能写成……

thinking in GTUID: 195028

P.S.我是指首尾哈，首是科幻，尾是电影。

G猫UID: 192988

这篇文字好是偶然吧, 昨天写185, 狂汗. 好多东西都不知道该怎么表达, 一个problem用了不知道多少遍. 写了我一身冷汗. 实在失败, 都不想去看. 可能要大修改, 说不定还得重写. 真是失败呀.

so猫UID: 148633

楼上的加油哈~

G猫UID: 192988

嗯嗯, 多谢so猫. 同加油:)

G猫UID: 192988

让native speaker帮我改了改,这次的收获如下.

1, 原以为多点反问句设问句可以让文章显得很有力, 在issue这里可就不是这个理了,要尽量避免用设问句,反问句,尤其是连续的问句,尽量用陈述语气. 又让我想起了一本GRE review book里的话: 不要为了回答一个问题而问问题. 怎么看过就没意识到呢? 这下可记住了.

2, 让我沾沾自喜的最后一个body的观点, 竟然得到了老外brilliant的表扬, 陶醉了一吧,哈哈:)

3, 语言还是相当的不地道,不过没办法了,这个也是想改进也改进不了了.

so猫UID: 148633

下下来钻研一下~~