issue185 自己想了个例子，写得好辛苦

goldenrockUID: 122870

185. Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful.
They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer
ever could.
---------------------------------------
Scandals are commonly considered to be curious and useless which usually come up from private lives of famous people. However, the author asserts that scandals can be useful considering that they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. In my point of view, this issue can be divided into two sides. On the one hand, scandals are useful and beneficial to some extent, especially on gaining national attention in some important events. On the other hand, most scandals are about dull and meaningless affairs; in this sense, scandals are of no use. Thus, concerned with scandals judging, taking a case-by-case attitude is necessary.

At the beginning, let's take a look at the useful and advantaged side of scandals. The first example coming up to my head is one of the most intelligent mathematicians in the history--Galois Evariste who is the founder of Group Theory and Abstract Algebra. But almost every book concerned with introducing mathematicians talks about his scandal that he died at the age of 21 and his death is because of a private fight concerning his love affair with a girl. Galois’ scandal paints the mysterious mathematic world a romantic color. People who read his story may take a smile from the bottom of their hearts and sigh with emotion that mathematicians are still normal human beings. And because of his scandal, a number of people who are interested in it may step into the mathematic world to find out what mathematicians do, then might become one of them. Furthermore, his scandal also warns people that personal emotion may has great influence on their lives and it is necessary to be careful when dealing with it. Another example is in the field of politics -- the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon. Take a retrospect of this scandal, we can learn a lot from it and its aftermath is worthy of mention. First, people would pay more attentions to politicians and how politics work. Second, politicians would be more active in building our society in a good way and take care of themselves more scrupulously. Finally, the level of scrutiny would be increased and reliability administration would be more regarded, then government would be running more efficiently. In a word, some scandals do good to our lives.

Finally, I have to say, most scandals are standing at the harmful side. As we all know, without considering the meanings and contents they carried, scandals are one of the most noticeable news through every media. So nowadays, news papers, televisions and broadcasts all try their best to look for distinct scandals, even make up fake scandals by themselves in all aspects of the world to cater to the readers, viewers or listeners’ curiosity. However, this trend is harmful in several ways. First, on the individual level, whoever gets entangled in a scandal will never live in a normal life. Consider academia as an example; professor, no matter how notable he (she) is and how many achievements he has accomplished, once he is entangled in an academia scandal, even not in purpose, he can hardly explain. Second, on a societal level, it distracts people from more important things. For example, in the area of entertainment, actors and actresses always encounter these kinds of things. Love affairs, drug abuse and drinking too much, etc. among famous people are frequently going to be a cover story. These kinds of meaningless news appear on and on, but people have no time to read what the most critical problem for our country is, how many people are still out of work and how many children are still out of school. In this way, no longer can civil consciousness[全民意识？] be promoted.

In sum, I agree with the claim that scandals are useful to some extent, but only a few. Most of scandals in modern media are no use at all. Thus, in order to judge whether a scandal is useful in some sense, we should consider it case-by-case.

kkytUID: 188814

好,我可要好好学习以下了

kkytUID: 188814

185. Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful.
They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer
ever could.
---------------------------------------
Scandals are commonly considered to be curious [这个词用的不对attractive] and useless which are[are去掉 语法错误] usually come up from private lives of famous people. However, the author asserts that scandals can be useful considering that they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. In my point of view, this issue can be divided into two sides. On the one hand, scandals are useful and beneficial to some extent, especially on gaining national attention in some important events. On the other hand, most scandals are about dull and meaningless affairs[偶表示疑问？都是meaningless affairs?]; in this sense, scandals are of no use. Thus, concerned with scandals judging, taking a case-by-case attitude is necessary.[开头不错，观点鲜明]

At the beginning, let's take a look at the useful and advantaged side of scandals. The first example coming up to my head is one of the most intelligent mathematicians in the history--Galois Evariste who is the founder of Group Theory and Abstract Algebra. But almost every book concerned with introducing mathematicians talks about his scandal that he died at the age of 21 and his death is because of a private fight concerning his love affair with a girl.[ 这也算scandal? 那我们敬爱的杨振宁教授高龄结婚算不算？]Galois’ scandal paints the mysterious mathematic world a romantic color. People who read his story may take a smile from the bottom of their hearts and sigh with emotion that mathematicians are still normal human beings. And because of his scandal, a number of people who are interested in it may step into the mathematic world to find out what mathematicians do, then might become one of them. [啊，原来丑闻有这作用，我觉的这个例子有点牵强]Furthermore, his scandal also warns people that personal emotion may has great influence on their lives and it is necessary to be careful when dealing with it. Another example is in the field of politics -- the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon. Take a retrospect of this scandal, we can learn a lot from it and its aftermath is worthy of mention. First, people would pay more attentions to politicians and how politics work. Second, politicians would be more active in building our society in a good way and take care of themselves more scrupulously. Finally, the level of scrutiny would be increased and reliability administration would be more regarded, then government would be running more efficiently. In a word, some scandals do good [well] to our lives.

Finally, I have to say, most scandals are standing at the harmful side. As we all know, without considering the meanings and contents they carried, [scandals are one of the most noticeable news through every media. 这句语法再看看one of news?] So nowadays, news papers, televisions and broadcasts all try their best to look for distinct scandals, even make up fake scandals by themselves in all aspects of the world to cater to the readers, viewers or listeners’ curiosity. However, this trend is harmful in several ways. First, on the individual level, whoever gets entangled in a scandal will never live in a normal life. Consider academia as an example; professor, no matter how notable he (she) is and how many achievements he has accomplished, once he is entangled in an academia scandal, even not in purpose, he can hardly explain. Second, on a societal level, it distracts people from more important things. For example, in the area of entertainment, actors and actresses always encounter these kinds of things. Love affairs, drug abuse and in drinking too much, etc. among famous people are frequently going to be a cover story. These kinds of meaningless news appear on and on, but people have no time to read what the most critical problem for our country is, how many people are still out of work and how many children are still out of school. In this way, no longer can civil consciousness be promoted.

In sum, I agree with the claim that scandals are useful to some extent, but only a few. Most of scandals in modern media are [of] no use at all. [好象前后矛盾啊，不是are useful to some extent ，后来又一点用没有了are [of] no use at all] Thus, in order to judge whether a scandal is useful in some sense, we should consider it case-by-case.
[1、字数挺多么，偶羡慕啊，赞一个先]
[2、基本上论证了正反两方面的问题，只是结构上好象at the beginning 后是finally了]

kkytUID: 188814

不好意思,偶忘了变色,下次吧

goldenrockUID: 122870

杨振宁的事，我觉得不仅算，而且很算。

我的思路是：
少数scandals是有用的，
most scandals是没用的，
但在判断某scandal是不是useful 时还是应该case by case.

语法的确错得不少，多谢！！

龙非UID: 193190

占个座，待会填坑

龙非UID: 193190

Scandals are commonly considered to be curious and useless which usually come up from private lives of famous people. However, the author asserts that scandals can be useful considering that they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. In my point of view, this issue can be divided into two sides. On the one hand, scandals are useful and beneficial to some extent, especially on gaining national attention in some important events. On the other hand, most scandals are about dull and meaningless affairs; in this sense, scandals are of no use. Thus, concerned with scandals judging, taking a case-by-case attitude is necessary. on the one hand指出scandals are useful and beneficial，on the other hand又说most are dull，自打嘴巴，前半段应该改一下为some scandals

At the beginning, let's take a look at the useful and advantaged side of scandals. The first example coming up to my head is one of the most intelligent mathematicians in the history--Galois Evariste who is the founder of Group Theory and Abstract Algebra. But almost every book concerned with introducing mathematicians talks about his scandal that he died at the age of 21 and his death is because of a private fight concerning his love affair with a girl. Galois’ scandal paints the mysterious mathematic world a romantic color. People who read his story may take a smile from the bottom of their hearts and sigh with emotion that mathematicians are still normal human beings. And because of his scandal, a number of people who are interested in it may step into the mathematic world to find out what mathematicians do, then might become one of them. Furthermore, his scandal also warns people that personal emotion may has great influence on their lives and it is necessary to be careful when dealing with it. Another example is in the field of politics -- the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon. Take a retrospect of this scandal, we can learn a lot from it and its aftermath is worthy of mention. First, people would pay more attentions to politicians and how politics work. Second, politicians would be more active in building our society in a good way and take care of themselves more scrupulously. Finally, the level of scrutiny would be increased and reliability administration would be more regarded, then government would be running more efficiently. In a word, some scandals do good to our lives.

Finally, I have to say, most scandals are standing at the harmful side. As we all know, without considering the meanings and contents they carried, scandals are one of the most noticeable news through every media. So nowadays, news papers, televisions and broadcasts all try their best to look for distinct scandals, even make up fake scandals by themselves in all aspects of the world to cater to the readers, viewers or listeners’ curiosity. However, this trend is harmful in several ways. First, on the individual level, whoever gets entangled in a scandal will never live in a normal life. Consider academia as an example; professor, no matter how notable he (she) is and how many achievements he has accomplished, once he is entangled in an academia scandal, even not in purpose, he can hardly explain. Second, on a societal level, it distracts people from more important things. For example, in the area of entertainment, actors and actresses always encounter these kinds of things. Love affairs, drug abuse and drinking too much, etc. among famous people are frequently going to be a cover story. These kinds of meaningless news appear on and on, but people have no time to read what the most critical problem for our country is, how many people are still out of work and how many children are still out of school. In this way, no longer can civil consciousness[全民意识？] be promoted.TS是most are harmful，但是整段并没有很好地论证为什么是大多数，从哪里看出是大多数了？

In sum, I agree with the claim that scandals are useful to some extent, but only a few. Most of scandals in modern media are no use at all. Thus, in order to judge whether a scandal is useful in some sense, we should consider it case-by-case. 这里用case-by-case不好，因为整篇文章并没有case-by-case，而只是举例说明有的好有的坏。而case-by-case起码要说明什么case下是好，什么case下是坏吧

总的来说，条理比较清楚，但是论证稍显无力，泛于表面。想证明少数是好，多数是坏，但是并没有有力地证明大多数是坏的。语言方面已经有同学指出了，就不再细看

volitionUID: 167546

首先感谢goldenrock兄弟的信任。为了避免重复，我就直接在kkyt兄弟改过的基础上再改了。 我觉得你可以多看看一些原版的议论文，看看他们的风格，比如立论，驳论的语气都是很小心谨慎并且很客观的。不当之处，多多包涵！
Scandals are commonly considered to be curious [这个词用的不对attractive] and useless which are[are去掉 语法错误] usually come up from private lives of famous people. （这句话对scandal的定义不是很准确，useless 和private来限制scandal很容易被推翻）However, the author asserts that scandals can be useful considering that they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. In my point of view, this issue can be divided into two sides. On the one hand, scandals are useful and beneficial to some extent, especially on gaining national attention in some important events. On the other hand, most scandals are about dull and meaningless affairs[偶表示疑问？都是meaningless affairs?]; in this sense, scandals are of no use. Thus, concerned with scandals judging, taking a case-by-case attitude is necessary.[开头不错，观点鲜明]

At the beginning, let's take a look at the useful and advantaged side of scandals. The first example coming up to my head is one of the most intelligent mathematicians in the history--Galois Evariste who is the founder of Group Theory and Abstract Algebra. But almost every book concerned with introducing mathematicians talks about his scandal that he died at the age of 21 and his death is because of a private fight concerning his love affair with a girl.[ 这也算scandal? 那我们敬爱的杨振宁教授高龄结婚算不算？]Galois’ scandal paints the mysterious mathematic world a romantic color. People who read his story may take a smile from the bottom of their hearts and sigh with emotion that mathematicians are still normal human beings. And because of his scandal, a number of people who are interested in it may step into the mathematic world to find out what mathematicians do, then might become one of them. [啊，原来丑闻有这作用，我觉的这个例子有点牵强]Furthermore, his scandal also warns people that personal emotion may has great influence on their lives and it is necessary to be careful when dealing with it. Another example is in the field of politics -- the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon. Take a retrospect of this scandal, we can learn a lot from it and its aftermath is worthy of mention. First, people would pay more attentions to politicians and how politics work. Second, politicians would be more active in building our society in a good way and take care of themselves（their duties更好些） more scrupulously. Finally, the level of scrutiny would be increased（more effective） and reliability administration would be more regarded（后面这半句话是什么意思）, then government would be running more efficiently. In a word, some scandals do good [well] to our lives. （最后这句概括的话过于笼统。最好紧扣本段的论述，谈对于政治的监督和对他人的警示作用）

Finally, I have to say, most scandals are standing at the harmful side（这句话过于武断，你可以说scandal有很多负面作用。不要草率下定论，这很危险）. As we all know, without considering the meanings and contents they carried, [scandals are one of the most noticeable news through every media. 这句语法再看看one of news?] So nowadays, news papers, televisions and broadcasts all try their best to look for distinct scandals, even make up fake scandals by themselves in all aspects of the world to cater to the readers, viewers or listeners’ curiosity. However, this trend is harmful in several ways. First, on the individual level, whoever gets entangled in a scandal will never live in a normal life. Consider academia as an example; professor, no matter how notable he (she) is and how many achievements he has accomplished, once he is entangled in an academia scandal, even not in purpose, he can hardly explain. Second, on a societal level, it distracts people from more important things. For example, in the area of entertainment, actors and actresses always encounter these kinds of things. Love affairs, drug abuse and in drinking too much, etc. among famous people are frequently going to be a cover story. These kinds of meaningless news appear on and on, but people have no time to read what the most critical problem for our country is, how many people are still out of work and how many children are still out of school. In this way, no longer can civil consciousness be promoted.

In sum, I agree with the claim that scandals are useful to some extent, but only a few. Most of scandals in modern media are [of] no use at all. [好象前后矛盾啊，不是are useful to some extent ，后来又一点用没有了are [of] no use at all] Thus, in order to judge whether a scandal is useful in some sense, we should consider it case-by-case.
第二段和第三段用的是第一人称，不是特别好。论述文章为显示客观性更偏向于第三人称，复数或被动语态。最后一段要对正反两方面进行重申，不要草草收尾。

鬼谷子UID: 159645

互改进行的很不错
我占个座

thinking in GTUID: 195028

看到你的留言，今天没时间了，自己的任务都没完成（5555），明天一定互改啊！

thinking in GTUID: 195028

限时成功，你的例子挺丰富的，我写的时候可是吃力的很，后来修改时才补充完整，有空也帮我看看吧！链接在签名档里
185. Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful.
They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer
ever could.
---------------------------------------
Scandals are commonly considered to be curious and useless which usually come up from private lives of famous people.只说人物好像有局限性，接着看 However, the author asserts that scandals can be useful considering that they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. In my point of view, this issue can be divided into two sides. On the one hand, scandals are useful and beneficial to some extent, especially on gaining national attention in some important events. On the other hand, most scandals are about dull and meaningless affairs; in this sense, scandals are of no use. Thus, concerned with scandals judging, taking a case-by-case attitude is necessary.这段是说关注判断的标准，可是好像没有明确表态啊，我觉得有必要转折一下

At the beginning, let's take a look at the useful and advantaged side of scandals. The first example coming up to my head is one of the most intelligent mathematicians in the history--Galois Evariste who is the founder of Group Theory and Abstract Algebra. But almost every book concerned with introducing mathematicians talks about his scandal that he died at the age of 21 and his death is because of a private fight concerning his love affair with a girl. Galois’ scandal paints the mysterious mathematic world a romantic color. People who read his story may take a smile from the bottom of their hearts and sigh with emotion that mathematicians are still normal human beings. And because of his scandal, a number of people who are interested in it may step into the mathematic world to find out what mathematicians do, then might become one of them.这个例子是说useful的，不过好像太详细了，判卷先生可能会不耐烦 Furthermore, his scandal also warns people that personal emotion may has great influence on their lives and it is necessary to be careful when dealing with it. Another example is in the field of politics -- the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon. Take a retrospect of this scandal, we can learn a lot from it and its aftermath is worthy of mention. First, people would pay more attentions to politicians and how politics work. Second, politicians would be more active in building our society in a good way and take care of themselves more scrupulously. Finally, the level of scrutiny would be increased and reliability administration would be more regarded, then government would be running more efficiently. In a word, some scandals do good to our lives.第二个例子分析的好，向你学习

Finally, I have to say, most scandals are standing at the harmful side. As we all know, without considering the meanings and contents they carried, scandals are one of the most noticeable news through every media. So nowadays, news papers, televisions and broadcasts all try their best to look for distinct scandals, even make up fake scandals by themselves in all aspects of the world to cater to the readers, viewers or listeners’ curiosity. However, this trend is harmful in several ways. First, on the individual level, whoever gets entangled in a scandal will never live in a normal life. Consider academia as an example; professor, no matter how notable he (she) is and how many achievements he has accomplished, once he is entangled in an academia scandal, even not in purpose, he can hardly explain. Second, on a societal level, it distracts people from more important things. For example, in the area of entertainment, actors and actresses always encounter these kinds of things.少点什么 Love affairs, drug abuse and drinking too much, etc. among famous people are frequently going to be a cover story. These kinds of meaningless news appear on and on, but people have no time to read what the most critical problem for our country is, how many people are still out of work and how many children are still out of school. In this way, no longer can civil consciousness[全民意识？] be promoted.
倒装句还可以再修改一下
In sum, I agree with the claim that scandals are useful to some extent, but only a few. Most of scandals in modern media are no use at all. Thus, in order to judge whether a scandal is useful in some sense, we should consider it case-by-case.原来你是反对，首尾要照应

goldenrockUID: 122870

非常感谢大家的意见！我重写了一遍，大家再看看：
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252444

鬼谷子UID: 159645

185. Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful.
They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer
ever could.
---------------------------------------
Scandals are commonly considered to be curious and useless which usually come up from private lives of famous people. 【这里说的更像是隐私】However, the author asserts that scandals can be useful considering that they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. In my point of view, this issue can be divided into two sides. On the one hand, scandals【这里确实需要限制，some scandals】are useful and beneficial to some extent, especially on gaining national attention in some important events. On the other hand, most scandals are about dull and meaningless affairs; in this sense, scandals are of no use. Thus, concerned with scandals judging, taking a case-by-case attitude is necessary. 【开头太长了，考场上没有时间写出这么长的开头的。】

At the beginning, let's take a look at the useful and advantaged side of scandals. The first example coming up to my head is one of the most intelligent mathematicians in the history--Galois Evariste who is the founder of Group Theory and Abstract Algebra. But almost every book concerned with introducing mathematicians talks about his scandal that he died at the age of 21 and his death is because of a private fight concerning his love affair with a girl. Galois’ scandal 【这个不算是scandal，要注意scandal的定义】paints the mysterious mathematic world a romantic color. 【你这句正是说明了这个不算是scandal，只能算是一个爱情的悲剧】People who read his story may take a smile from the bottom of their hearts and sigh with emotion that mathematicians are still normal human beings. And because of his scandal, a number of people who are interested in it may step into the mathematic world to find out what mathematicians do, then might become one of them. 【这个结论十分的牵强，我认为你应该重新寻找例子】Furthermore, his scandal also warns people that personal emotion may has great influence on their lives and it is necessary to be careful when dealing with it. 【这个也不能算是你开头的national attention范围的】Another example is in the field of politics -- the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon. Take a retrospect of this scandal, we can learn a lot from it and its aftermath is worthy of mention. First, people would pay more attentions to politicians and how politics work. 【这个结论同上一个】Second, politicians would be more active in building our society in a good way and take care of themselves more scrupulously. Finally, the level of scrutiny would be increased and reliability administration would be more regarded, then government would be running more efficiently. In a word, some scandals do good to our lives. 【政治领域的例子还算可以，Galois的例子一定要换】

Finally, I have to say, most scandals are standing at the harmful side. As we all know, without considering the meanings and contents they carried, scandals are one of the most noticeable news through every media. 【病句，前后主语不一致，前面的主语是人们，后面的主语变成丑闻了】So nowadays, news papers, televisions and broadcasts all try their best to look for distinct scandals, even make up fake scandals by themselves in all aspects of the world to cater to the readers, viewers or listeners’ curiosity. However, this trend is harmful in several ways. First, on the individual level, whoever gets entangled in a scandal will never live in a normal life. Consider academia as an example; professor, no matter how notable he (she) is and how many achievements he has accomplished, once he is entangled in an academia scandal, even not in purpose, he can hardly explain. 【前面说的都不错，这个can hardly explain 一下子把你的论述弄歪了，你要说的是害处，所以就应该论述对个人名声，地位，生活，隐私等的损害】Second, on a societal level, it distracts people from more important things. For example, in the area of entertainment, actors and actresses always encounter these kinds of things. Love affairs, drug abuse and drinking too much, etc. among famous people are frequently going to be a cover story. These kinds of meaningless news appear on and on, but people have no time to read what the most critical problem for our country is, how many people are still out of work and how many children are still out of school. In this way, no longer can civil consciousness[全民意识？] be promoted. 【从个人和社会两个层次来分析，很好的思路，但是要注意论述的逻辑，论据和论点的支持】

In sum, I agree with the claim that scandals are useful to some extent, but only a few. Most of scandals in modern media are no use at all. Thus, in order to judge whether a scandal is useful in some sense, we should consider it case-by-case.

【从正反两个方面论述，思路还是好的，但是B1第一个例子有问题，B2的第一个分论点论述有问题。还有就是speakers or reformers的问题忽略了。加油！】