argument48改了打字错误,写的很烂! 请大家指正,相互帮助嘛

flyingwindUID: 189320

Argument48
------题目------
The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country of Corpora.
'Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.'
------正文------
The argument is not cogent as it stands. While it is true that the overall fitness levels are highest in regions in Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest and that this year's expenditures on fitness-related products and services are much lower, those evidences lend little credence on the conclusion that it is recent decline of the economy rather than the use of computer that might be responsible for the seemingly declined physical fitness of citizens in Corpora.

First and foremost, query whether the physical fitness of the citizens in Corpora has really declined. It is noted that twenty years have pasted and many things might have changed, which might influence the truly recognition of the whole situation. For one thing, in all likelihood the standards for adequate physical fitness have upgraded markedly to higher extend. Besides, according to the twenty years' span, those 30 or 40 years old adults turn to 50 or 60 years old men. So, if the majority of the demography of Corpora involves those aging 30-40, and the born rate and death rate remains unchanged, it is nature law rather than other reasons that result in the lower amounts of qualifiers. Also suppose that there are great amount of influx of old people in Corpora due to the appeal of a comparatively higher level of physical fitness. Those alternative explanations indicate that it is not necessary to raise serious concerns about the physical fitness of citizens in Corpora, in turn they may contribute that the physical fitness of citizens of Corpora is pretty well, especially comparing to the countries border upon Corpora.

In addition, even assuming that there is declined physical fitness of overall citizens in Corpora, the evidence, that the overall fitness levels are highest in regions where the levels of computer ownership are also highest, itself cannot rule out the using of computers as a culprit for the declined rate of citizens' physical fitness. First, how about computer ownership as to regions mean? If it means the rate of computer per person of residences in some region, then the numbers of those person operating computers at work while live in another region may make the result of the statistic unconvincing. Moreover the highest rate of computer ownership does not mean that the using of computer has the same highest rate. Perhaps on average five hours per computer are used by person in the region with lower computer ownership while only half an hour per computer in the region with highest computer ownership. Either scenario, if true, would bolter the possibilities that the using of computer may be the reason deducing the physical fitness of citizens.

Finally, this years' decline in the expenditures on fitness-related products and services are not necessarily the result of the recent decline in the economy. Perhaps this year’s decline in consuming is aberrance. Or perhaps people are gradually turning to other alternative fitness-related products and services, either of which is comparatively less cost than usual. It is most likely that the citizens of Corpora are always keen to improve their physical fitness, whatever the lower or higher level of economy. Failing to rule out all these circumstances, the conclusion that the fitness levels will improve as the economy recover amount to scant evidence at best.

Thus, the superficial phenomenon of both the highest computer-ownership region owning the highest level of physical fitness and the lower consuming of fitness products and services at the same time of declining economy contribute nothing to the conclusion of the arguer. And, even whether it is needed to raise more concern to the physical fitness of overall citizens is still a question.

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

先占座了

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

The argument is not cogent as it stands. While it is true that the overall fitness levels are highest in regions in Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest and that this year's expenditures on fitness-related products and services are much lower, those evidences lend little credence on the conclusion that it is recent decline of the economy rather than the use of computer that might be responsible for the seemingly declined physical fitness of citizens in Corpora.

First and foremost, query whether the physical fitness of the citizens in Corpora has really declined. It is noted that twenty years have pasted and many things might have changed, which might influence the truly recognition of the whole situation. For one thing, in all likelihood the standards for adequate physical fitness have upgraded markedly to higher extend. Besides, according to the twenty years' span, those 30 or 40 years old adults turn to 50 or 60 years old men. So, if the majority of the demography of Corpora involves those aging 30-40, and the born rate and death rate remains unchanged你说的是老龄化的问题吧，应该是出生率和死亡率都很低造成的吧？而不是都不变，要是都很高不就年轻化了？, it is nature law rather than other reasons that result in the lower amounts of qualifiers. Also suppose that there are great amount of influx of old people in Corpora due to the appeal of a comparatively higher level of physical fitness. Those alternative explanations indicate that it is not necessary to raise serious concerns about the physical fitness of citizens in Corpora, in turn they may contribute that the physical fitness of citizens of Corpora is pretty well, especially comparing to the countries border upon Corpora这个观点很有创意！！ 不管怎么说，后两种情况还是导致了健康水平的下降，应把它们归到其他原因导致下降比较好

In addition, even assuming that there is declined physical fitness of overall citizens in Corpora, the evidence, that the overall fitness levels are highest in regions where the levels of computer ownership are also highest, itself cannot rule out the using of computers as a culprit for the declined rate of citizens' physical fitness. First, how about computer ownership as to regions mean? If it means the rate of computer per person of residences in some region, then the numbers of those person operating computers at work while live in another region may make the result of the statistic unconvincing. Moreover the highest rate of computer ownership does not mean that the using of computer has the same highest rate. Perhaps on average five hours per computer are used by person in the region with lower computer ownership while only half an hour per computer in the region with highest computer ownership. Either scenario, if true, would bolter the possibilities that the using of computer may be the reason deducing the physical fitness of citizens.不错！！很深刻！

Finally, this years' decline in the expenditures on fitness-related products and services are not necessarily the result of the recent decline in the economy. Perhaps this year’s decline in consuming is aberrance. Or perhaps people are gradually turning to other alternative fitness-related products and services, either of which is comparatively less cost than usual. It is most likely that the citizens of Corpora are always keen to improve their physical fitness, whatever the lower or higher level of economy. Failing to rule out all these circumstances, the conclusion that the fitness levels will improve as the economy recover amount to scant evidence at best.

Thus, the superficial phenomenon of both the highest computer-ownership region owning the highest level of physical fitness and the lower consuming of fitness products and services at the same time of declining economy contribute nothing to the conclusion of the arguer. And, even whether it is needed to raise more concern to the physical fitness of overall citizens is still a question.
总体不错，语言也很好，向你学习，冒昧问一下，是30分钟写完的吗？

flyingwindUID: 189320

你说的是老龄化的问题吧，应该是出生率和死亡率都很低造成的吧？而不是都不变，要是都很高不就年轻化了？
你说的对！

不管怎么说，后两种情况还是导致了健康水平的下降，应把它们归到其他原因导致下降比较好
这个你也说的对。但是argu里有的有交叉的。按你说的要写4段，一般我不喜欢写4段。不过还是你说好点。

超时间的哦

互相学习哈

BTW： 我帮你改了这篇的，不知道你看到没有。你的题号写错了，应该是argument48